Fade into Black (From Integra's point of view.) As I turn towards the Dark.
A/N: The author who wrote this story originally has been ostracized from the Knights of the round Table, and this story was in progress during the time, it was deleted and re-written by the woman who lived with the original author.
It was getting close to the holidays, and most of my men had left on holiday leave. I however occupied my mansion nearly alone, except for the commanding officer, Pip Vernadead, who chose to leave nearer to the holidays, for the fact that his family lived nearby. I stared blankly out my office window for a while, before getting back to work. Pip paced outside my door before opening it, we exchanged a few words and I told him to go home.
"I can protect myself from whatever 2-bit terror that has decided to run rampant tonight." He approached me from behind.
"Can you protect yourself from me?" My eyes dilated.
He refused, and put his hands on my shoulders. I stood up and attempted to twist away, but it ended up with the both of us on the floor. He was on top of me; he pinned down my arms, and tore at my suit. I screamed at him to get off of me, and he only told me to shut up. I screamed orders in his face and all he said was:
"Do you think that ever works when a man rapes a woman!" I gasped, at that moment I knew the inevitable. I wasn't stupid, I knew that a man was stronger that a woman. I made a mental call to Alucard, but found the pathway strangely blocked. I screamed bloody murder hoping that through hell and high water someone would hear.
No one did.
I prayed that I would die before the end, not wanting to ever feel the touch of a man ever again, as long as I lived. I was for the first time that I could remember-afraid. I was screaming inside as well as out. This fear outweighed the fear of death. I was beginning to feel an ungodly amount of weight against my hips and thighs. I watched in horror as he undid his pants and leaned over me, undoing mine and tearing through my undergarments like a vampire would tear a person to rags. I saw the sadistic smile he had on his face and wondered where he got the lip ring. I was still attempting to overthrow him, fighting against his well-muscled frame, cursing like a sailor and spitting in his face. If he wanted me that badly, I would fight him to the death, I will never allow myself to be taken easily, by any man regardless of who they are. I admit now that as I write this, I have a fear of intimacy, and affection. I am sure that it was always there, I never was used to affection as a child, therefore, and it is something that unnerves me.
That was when I felt it, the penetration. I screamed as my hymen tore, and slowly bled. I bit my tongue and dealt with forceful thrusts. I knew there was no point in resisting, I knew that I needed to save whatever shred of energy I had left. The damage had already been done, my worst fear come true. I became trapped within the nightmare, I felt like I was screaming at the top of my lungs in a crowded room and no one turned, or lifted their head. I could hear the music I left on the player, Mozart, playing eerily in my nightmare. I thought that the heat he released would scald me, I shut my eyes tightly and bit my tongue trying to remove my thoughts from the horrendous act that was happening to me.
He finished and lifted himself from me. I didn't realize how much his body had warmed mine.
"Merry fucking Christmas bitch." He said. It irked me; Pip usually talked to me with respect and decency keeping the obscenities for the poker games with his buddies. I felt pain when I sat up and noticed the blood that was lying underneath me. I sat for a moment unsure what to do. Slowly, and with pain I stood up and went to the bath that was attached to my office. I took the towels and bleach and cleaned up the blood that was on the ceramic tile floor. Afterwards I stripped my torn and ragged clothes, and returned his scorching heat with scalding water, burning my sensitive flesh. I repeatedly scrubbed my skin till it was raw, I felt so dirty, so impure. I felt that as though I couldn't wash him from myself, I still could smell him, feel him hear him. My mind was running rampant screaming at me. This was the first time I actually considered suicide as the way out. I knew it was cowardly, but that was the thoughts that were running through my mind. I stepped out of the shower and dressed in my nightclothes. I walked across the hall to my room, where Walter had left a fire roaring before he left. I took my torn clothes and my towels and threw them into the bright flames, which lapped at them hungrily. I poured myself a glass of red wine, and downed it quickly. I soon poured another, and I went through wine like water until almost 3 bottles were gone. I looked towards my dresser and saw the prescription bottle of sleeping pills that the doctor had given me for my recent insomnia. I took the bottle into my shaking hands and poured out a handful of pills. I chased them down with another glass of wine, then threw the flute into the fire. I lay down to my bed and let out a frustrated blood-curdling scream, and cried till the pills and the Cheshire cat took me into a dreamless slumber.
End Chapter 1
Littlevicky
Victoria Drayckul-Dellivun.
Dec. 27.05