a/n: And, as I promise, here is my FOTR parody (based on both the movie and the booke). I wrote this like a long time ago and finally decided to edit it and put it up. However, it is missing a scene or two later on. Depending on how many good reviews this gets I'll finish and put the rest up in time. And now, without further ado, I present:
God of the Hulla-hoops: The Companionship of the Circle.....






In ancient times the Hula-hoops of Power were crafted by the elven-smiths, but Sauron, the Dark-Evil-Merciless-Just-Plain-Not-Nice-Lord, forged the One Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Hula-hoop, filling it with his power and hatred for pink, fluffy bunnies and things that are pretty, so that he could rule the others. (and conveniently making this Hula-hoop travel size and calling it "The One Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Circle") But, The One Way Cool and Awesome All-Powerful Circle was taken from him.

In some battle in some place these two guys whose names neither matter or are ever remembered overthrew Sauron and died heroically (and there was much rejoicing); and then this guy whose name just might matter just happened to be strolling by at that moment and noticed how shiny The One Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Circle was. Isildur (the guy strolling through the battle field) decided that since Sauron was dead and all he wouldn't be needing the shiny circle anymore, so he helped himself to it.

Elrond tried to talk him into throwing The One Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful- Circle into the fire of Mount Doom because
"Not only would this destroy the One Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Circle and the dark power of Sauron, but the Circle would do this way spiffy melty thing and the lava would do this way cool bubbly thing."
Isildur was persuaded by this to throw the One Way Cool And Awesome All- Powerful Hula-hoop into the fire ('cause, you gotta admit, that melty-bubbly thing would be pretty cool) So, Elrond led him to the Cracks of Doom and just as Isildur was about to throw The One Way Cool And Awesome Circle into the lava, he began to notice again how shiny. . . and . . . circular it was. So, he decided to be selfish and keep it for himself.
Elrond: "Twit."

Then one day Isildur and his men were on their way to a house-warming party and Isildur was still going on and on . . .and on. . . about how shiny and pretty and circular his Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Circle was, and the other travelers began to grow tired of constant:
"It's round and it's SHINY!! And look how the sun shines off of it and - Ooh, look, I can see my face in it!"

So, finally, they decided they could take no more. . . Snatching The Circle from Isildur they "accidentally" cast it into a conveniently located lake. "Steve!!!" Shrieked Isildur as he leapt into the lake. (Yes. . .He named it Steve. . .) Just as he hit the water, out of nowhere came an ambush of orcs that began shooting arrows at him until he stopped moving. Isildur's men all cheered. Not only were they rid of The One Way Cool and Awesome All Powerful Circle, but they were rid of Isildur! Yep, things were looking up for them.

There on the bottom of the River Anduin The One Way Cool and Awesome All Powerful Circle remained. Until one day this little freaky dude named Deagol found it while he was fishing.
Deagol: "Ooooh"
And then his best friend killed him and stole the shiny object away.
Deagol: "That sucks major carpet."
And, indeed, it did suck the most suckiest of carpet. . . For Deagol, that is. As for Smeagol. . .He took the shiny Circle (later discovering that when he stuck this shiny, travel size Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Hula hoop on his finger, he turned CLEAR!!!! [ as in no one could see him] ) He later became known as "Gollum" because of a somewhat disturbing noise he made in his throat and he also became very unpopular due to the fact that he liked to turn clear and freak everyone out in his spare time. So, he was cast out of his home to aimlessly wonder about the land until he finally fled to a dark place under the Misty Mountains.

There he stayed with his One Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Circle. Until, finally, even his Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Circle grew tired of him and left him for a hobbit.
Gollum: "That sucks linoleum, precioussss."
And, indeed, it did.

Bilbo kept The One Way Cool And Awesome All Powerful Circle for 60 years.
Gandalf and Gollum: "Stupid, selfish little. . .",
His nosey wizard friend, Gandalf, knew that something just wasn't right about that Circle and he warned Bilbo over and over again to be careful with it, but Bilbo claimed to have developed short term memory loss and found himself promptly forgetting about these warnings.


And there you have it... the first chapter. I know, this one might not be quite as funny as it could be, but the next ones get better, I promise. =) Now, if you'll be so kind and review my story I'll give you a Legolas cookie......plz?....