Title: Sea Change
Author: Nan
Rating: PG-13
Classification: vignette, Harm/AJ
Spoilers: Missing scene from Back in the Saddle
Summary: Whew! That bar scene in BitS between AJ and Harm got a little heated. This is the first time I've seen Harm down right insolent towards his former commanding officer and mentor. And AJ's comments only added fuel to Harm's fire. Or should I say that Harm's comments only added fuel to AJ's fire? Whatever, both are hurting big time and in typical male fashion, they lash out hard. Remember when AJ sent Mic and Harm into a closed ring with boxing gloves to settle their differences? Well, I think a little of that kind of therapy may be needed here too.
But this isn't a story about two stubborn men using fisticuffs to settle an argument. This is just my take on Harm's thoughts right after AJ walked out of the bar. And we already know somehow he decides to return to JAG, despite that heated, insulting exchange. Go figure. Aren't men strange?
Fuck, this beer tastes like shit. It probably doesn't help that you have been swirling the half drunk contents around in your sweaty palms for the last 45 minutes. Just order a new one. It'll be cold and take some sting out of the recent events. But you sigh and realize that's not the choice you're going to make. Not tonight. Somehow, this time, you've chosen the clear-headed route and declined alcohol's siren call. You want to feel it all. Crap.
Ironically, it's still the beer that he bought. Admiral Chegwidden. Oh, that's right, his name is AJ. AJ. Tip to anyone out there who wants to call the admiral by his first name? Make sure you pause slightly after you've said the name. And for added emphasis? Drawl the two syllables ever so slightly. AAA - Jaaay. It needs to be done right, if you want to achieve maximum effect.
So now, you sit on a barstool in a dusty roadside joint. Shit, your ride is back at the airport. And since AAA-Jay is gone, guess you'll have to walk the mile or so back to the hanger to retrieve the bike.
Mattie. Double shit. You hope Mattie has left the hangar for the day. Despite the secret satisfaction that whirled through you at her comments to AAA-Jay earlier, you really don't want a one-on-one conversation with that girl about this. Especially since, despite this rather humiliating dialogue with your one-time mentor, you will probably suck it up and return to JAG.
Shit, you really should order something. Anything. Coffee, maybe? If not, they're gonna wonder about you, sitting hunched over the same warm beer in the middle of a workday afternoon.
Somehow the day of the week strikes you. It is a Thursday afternoon. Working stiffs should be working. So why was AAA-Jay here? Did the U.S. military shut down for a while? Doesn't he have a meeting with someone? Secnav, maybe? Why wasn't he in his damn uniform, anyway? Dress code at JAG change or something? Since when did the admiral have four or five hours clear in the middle of the workweek to drive to Blacksburg and back just to harass you?
If you didn't know better, you would almost think he some sort of other purpose. Like trying to talk you into returning to JAG.
Well, he already had his chance to take you back. You remember that meeting five or so months ago like it was yesterday. Mac was standing beside you, looking hot as usual in that marine green uniform. You felt amazed, remember? How anyone could look so good after going through so much in Paraguay. Like there wasn't a thing wrong with the world. Except there was one thing wrong; life as you knew it was about to an abrupt end. And end it did, in a blaze of insults that cut to the core.
Your reaction? Well, you handled it like the officer and gentleman that you are. Little comment and cleaned out your office in record time. You did it with class.
Maybe that's why he's so pissed. You walked away from JAG easily. Made him look like the asshole that over-reacted. Not you. You were great. He was expecting a fight that day and you didn't even give him the satisfaction. You resigned your commission to find Mac against orders and to add insult to injury; you didn't even care when he didn't want you back.
And without missing a heartbeat, you picked up a job with the Company. Flying, no less. That must have frosted his socks. AAA- Jay's socks. The US Navy has the greatest set of aviation hardware in the world with one exception. It can't compete with the intelligence gathering, special operations craft of the CIA.
Take the Aurora for example. Those flights were amazing. Love to tell you about it, AAA-Jay, but you don't have the clearance. Let me see, in fact, you don't have the clearance for most of the stuff I did. And did well. I may be a good lawyer but I'm also an amazing pilot. Not that you'll ever care.
You could piss him off again. What if you turned down his job offer to return to JAG and stayed crop dusting with Mattie? That would mean you would prefer working for a little girl to the likes of him. It would be the ultimate insult. It would be so great.
Wow, where did that come from? That was pretty bitter and twisted. You would actually consider giving up the chance to return to JAG just to get back at the admiral? That is a little low, even accounting for your present mood. Search your heart, you bitter bastard and in it you'll find that you do actually love the Navy. And admit it, if you just last another year or so, you'll qualify for retirement and the security that gives.
But there's something about returning to JAG...Back to work for AAA-Jay? That self-serving, sorry-excuse for a commanding officer? The man who turfed you out telling you to wrestle alligators?
What a bastard. And you told him so. Today. No more 'officer and gentleman' crap. You told him like it is. What you really thought. You've seen him mad over the years but never as mad as today. You were in prime form. Too bad Mac couldn't have seen this little conversation. She has witnessed you taking shit over the years but this time you gave it.
So why did he ask you to come back? Why didn't he just tell you to screw-off?
It's because he can't do without you. All indications were that JAG's backlog of cases was reaching critical mass before the Imes debacle. Before the Navy actually took the time to check the qualifications of an officer that had been working there for oh, sixteen or so years. What a mess. Whose fault is that? Huh, AAA-Jay?
Funny how Roberts, Mac, Sturgis and the rest of the office can't keep up. What's wrong, AAA-Jay, can't find anyone else who can do the work, cut through the crap like I can? Stand there and take your shit? You may think I'm run by my emotions but no one can match me when it comes to output. Mac comes close but you need more than one. And something tells me that Mac's not in top form these days either. It's hard in the line of fire. Right, Mac? Huh, Sturgis? Makes even a saint a bit jumpy. And it turns out, I'm no saint.
But you're still thinking of returning to JAG. Despite all this. Maybe you're just so pissed that you won't be able to pull it off. Did that ever occur to you? JAG backlog or not, the admiral won't tolerate another conversation like the one this afternoon. That was a once in a lifetime opportunity to vent. It just sort of came out. Mindless words that spouted from your mouth. Their only intent was to hurt. And if there's one thing you are good at, it's articulating clearly. Especially when you are pissed. Just ask Mac.
So you got to pull it together, man. Put it behind you. Can you? Remember Navy, pension, JAG, Bud, Sturgis, Coates, Harriet, Gunny, Tiner, super sonic aircraft and neat ships. Think about the good times.
Think about.... Mac. God, she looked great the other night. For a minute, you almost forgot the swirling circumstances around Paraguay. You were tempted to unload. To her, to tell her how you were feeling. But then Catherine came. And Mac volunteered to leave. She probably had to go meet Webb anyway. But for a moment the thought crossed your mind that maybe you over-reacted when it came to Mac...
And that's the reason you will go back and work with the admiral. 'Cause underneath it, he is still the best commanding officer you have ever had. Blaidell couldn't hold a candle. And in some cosmic perverse kind of joke, he understands you better than most. He knew chasing Mac to Paraguay would be a disaster. That it would never work. That it would be like throwing a grenade into JAG Ops. And he was so right.
Damn him. Is your problems with Mac really worth all this?
Now what? You know what to do. You are going to pick up that cell phone and dial that familiar number. The number of the cell in the Admiral's SUV. Cause he is still on the road, driving home from this airstrip in Blacksburg. Before he has a chance to change his mind.
You are going to apologize first for that conversation and then accept his offer. With the dignity and respect that is his due. Cause he has earned it. Cause it's the right thing to do. For JAG and for you. Suck it up, Peter Pan.
Author: Nan
Rating: PG-13
Classification: vignette, Harm/AJ
Spoilers: Missing scene from Back in the Saddle
Summary: Whew! That bar scene in BitS between AJ and Harm got a little heated. This is the first time I've seen Harm down right insolent towards his former commanding officer and mentor. And AJ's comments only added fuel to Harm's fire. Or should I say that Harm's comments only added fuel to AJ's fire? Whatever, both are hurting big time and in typical male fashion, they lash out hard. Remember when AJ sent Mic and Harm into a closed ring with boxing gloves to settle their differences? Well, I think a little of that kind of therapy may be needed here too.
But this isn't a story about two stubborn men using fisticuffs to settle an argument. This is just my take on Harm's thoughts right after AJ walked out of the bar. And we already know somehow he decides to return to JAG, despite that heated, insulting exchange. Go figure. Aren't men strange?
Fuck, this beer tastes like shit. It probably doesn't help that you have been swirling the half drunk contents around in your sweaty palms for the last 45 minutes. Just order a new one. It'll be cold and take some sting out of the recent events. But you sigh and realize that's not the choice you're going to make. Not tonight. Somehow, this time, you've chosen the clear-headed route and declined alcohol's siren call. You want to feel it all. Crap.
Ironically, it's still the beer that he bought. Admiral Chegwidden. Oh, that's right, his name is AJ. AJ. Tip to anyone out there who wants to call the admiral by his first name? Make sure you pause slightly after you've said the name. And for added emphasis? Drawl the two syllables ever so slightly. AAA - Jaaay. It needs to be done right, if you want to achieve maximum effect.
So now, you sit on a barstool in a dusty roadside joint. Shit, your ride is back at the airport. And since AAA-Jay is gone, guess you'll have to walk the mile or so back to the hanger to retrieve the bike.
Mattie. Double shit. You hope Mattie has left the hangar for the day. Despite the secret satisfaction that whirled through you at her comments to AAA-Jay earlier, you really don't want a one-on-one conversation with that girl about this. Especially since, despite this rather humiliating dialogue with your one-time mentor, you will probably suck it up and return to JAG.
Shit, you really should order something. Anything. Coffee, maybe? If not, they're gonna wonder about you, sitting hunched over the same warm beer in the middle of a workday afternoon.
Somehow the day of the week strikes you. It is a Thursday afternoon. Working stiffs should be working. So why was AAA-Jay here? Did the U.S. military shut down for a while? Doesn't he have a meeting with someone? Secnav, maybe? Why wasn't he in his damn uniform, anyway? Dress code at JAG change or something? Since when did the admiral have four or five hours clear in the middle of the workweek to drive to Blacksburg and back just to harass you?
If you didn't know better, you would almost think he some sort of other purpose. Like trying to talk you into returning to JAG.
Well, he already had his chance to take you back. You remember that meeting five or so months ago like it was yesterday. Mac was standing beside you, looking hot as usual in that marine green uniform. You felt amazed, remember? How anyone could look so good after going through so much in Paraguay. Like there wasn't a thing wrong with the world. Except there was one thing wrong; life as you knew it was about to an abrupt end. And end it did, in a blaze of insults that cut to the core.
Your reaction? Well, you handled it like the officer and gentleman that you are. Little comment and cleaned out your office in record time. You did it with class.
Maybe that's why he's so pissed. You walked away from JAG easily. Made him look like the asshole that over-reacted. Not you. You were great. He was expecting a fight that day and you didn't even give him the satisfaction. You resigned your commission to find Mac against orders and to add insult to injury; you didn't even care when he didn't want you back.
And without missing a heartbeat, you picked up a job with the Company. Flying, no less. That must have frosted his socks. AAA- Jay's socks. The US Navy has the greatest set of aviation hardware in the world with one exception. It can't compete with the intelligence gathering, special operations craft of the CIA.
Take the Aurora for example. Those flights were amazing. Love to tell you about it, AAA-Jay, but you don't have the clearance. Let me see, in fact, you don't have the clearance for most of the stuff I did. And did well. I may be a good lawyer but I'm also an amazing pilot. Not that you'll ever care.
You could piss him off again. What if you turned down his job offer to return to JAG and stayed crop dusting with Mattie? That would mean you would prefer working for a little girl to the likes of him. It would be the ultimate insult. It would be so great.
Wow, where did that come from? That was pretty bitter and twisted. You would actually consider giving up the chance to return to JAG just to get back at the admiral? That is a little low, even accounting for your present mood. Search your heart, you bitter bastard and in it you'll find that you do actually love the Navy. And admit it, if you just last another year or so, you'll qualify for retirement and the security that gives.
But there's something about returning to JAG...Back to work for AAA-Jay? That self-serving, sorry-excuse for a commanding officer? The man who turfed you out telling you to wrestle alligators?
What a bastard. And you told him so. Today. No more 'officer and gentleman' crap. You told him like it is. What you really thought. You've seen him mad over the years but never as mad as today. You were in prime form. Too bad Mac couldn't have seen this little conversation. She has witnessed you taking shit over the years but this time you gave it.
So why did he ask you to come back? Why didn't he just tell you to screw-off?
It's because he can't do without you. All indications were that JAG's backlog of cases was reaching critical mass before the Imes debacle. Before the Navy actually took the time to check the qualifications of an officer that had been working there for oh, sixteen or so years. What a mess. Whose fault is that? Huh, AAA-Jay?
Funny how Roberts, Mac, Sturgis and the rest of the office can't keep up. What's wrong, AAA-Jay, can't find anyone else who can do the work, cut through the crap like I can? Stand there and take your shit? You may think I'm run by my emotions but no one can match me when it comes to output. Mac comes close but you need more than one. And something tells me that Mac's not in top form these days either. It's hard in the line of fire. Right, Mac? Huh, Sturgis? Makes even a saint a bit jumpy. And it turns out, I'm no saint.
But you're still thinking of returning to JAG. Despite all this. Maybe you're just so pissed that you won't be able to pull it off. Did that ever occur to you? JAG backlog or not, the admiral won't tolerate another conversation like the one this afternoon. That was a once in a lifetime opportunity to vent. It just sort of came out. Mindless words that spouted from your mouth. Their only intent was to hurt. And if there's one thing you are good at, it's articulating clearly. Especially when you are pissed. Just ask Mac.
So you got to pull it together, man. Put it behind you. Can you? Remember Navy, pension, JAG, Bud, Sturgis, Coates, Harriet, Gunny, Tiner, super sonic aircraft and neat ships. Think about the good times.
Think about.... Mac. God, she looked great the other night. For a minute, you almost forgot the swirling circumstances around Paraguay. You were tempted to unload. To her, to tell her how you were feeling. But then Catherine came. And Mac volunteered to leave. She probably had to go meet Webb anyway. But for a moment the thought crossed your mind that maybe you over-reacted when it came to Mac...
And that's the reason you will go back and work with the admiral. 'Cause underneath it, he is still the best commanding officer you have ever had. Blaidell couldn't hold a candle. And in some cosmic perverse kind of joke, he understands you better than most. He knew chasing Mac to Paraguay would be a disaster. That it would never work. That it would be like throwing a grenade into JAG Ops. And he was so right.
Damn him. Is your problems with Mac really worth all this?
Now what? You know what to do. You are going to pick up that cell phone and dial that familiar number. The number of the cell in the Admiral's SUV. Cause he is still on the road, driving home from this airstrip in Blacksburg. Before he has a chance to change his mind.
You are going to apologize first for that conversation and then accept his offer. With the dignity and respect that is his due. Cause he has earned it. Cause it's the right thing to do. For JAG and for you. Suck it up, Peter Pan.