Disclaimer: I own nothing south of nowhere related. sad...
Reviews: Very welcome, also to see if I should continue this or not.
Rated T for now
Enjoy!
It's amazing really how one person can change your whole perspective on life. On what you live by, on how you acted. What's even more fascinating is the fact that you don't really seem to care, even though you know how wrong it all feels yet it feels so right.
You got you're whole life planned out. Since you were young you knew what you wanted to do with your life. You wanted to graduate, get a degree, settle down, and start a family. Then slowly things didn't go the way you always thought they would. You graduated yes, the degree? Not quite there yet. Settling down and having a family isn't even on that list anymore.
Your world, that was built to last, was falling apart right before your very eyes.
Can't you see that i wanna be there with open arms
It's empty tonight and i'm all alone
Get me through this one
You fell in love with a girl. You weren't supposed to. You were supposed to fall in love with a guy. Get married. Have kids. I guess life has a way of surprising you.
You never really told anyone though. You never told them in fear of being abandoned or rejected. You kept it in the best way you knew how. You buried a hole within yourself.
How far down are you?
You watch her everyday. She was your best friend. She was everything you wanted. She was always there for you. But you just never expected any of these feelings to come up. You never expected yourself to fall for her. You fell for her, and you were falling hard. But you never let her know that. You never told her how much it hurts you to see her with someone else. You wonder every day when you stopped envying her perfect figure and curves and began to envy the guy that was able to touch them.
You know that you can't keep this façade from going any longer. You needed to get away, and you needed to get away fast.
Do you notice i'm gone? I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so
Where do you run to so far away?
As much as you wanted to push her out of your life, you just couldn't bring yourself to do so. You needed her. She's what's keeping you together, yet she's also the one slowly tearing you apart.
You cringe every time you see them together. She always talks about him while you begin to notice that you two are slowly drifting apart. She was beginning to get too wrapped up with her new boyfriend it's like you never existed. Like you weren't there for her when she needed you most.
Like you didn't matter to her at all.
Like you weren't her best friend.
I'm writing again these letters to you aren't much, I know
But i'm not sleeping and you're not here
The thought stops my heart
So you helped her. You help her build that wall around you two. Yours was higher though. You managed to finally push her out of your life. It doesn't seem to bother her though. Especially since she rarely if not ever calls you anymore. No more random days when she'd just come over and pick you up or the many unplanned sleepovers. It was all gone. And she watched it all happen, saw it coming, and did nothing about it.
My name is Spencer Carlin, and I have a problem, I'm completely and hopelessly in love with my best friend.
A/N: So tell me whether or not I should go on with this. Reviews are always welcome!