Aragorn, Please Wash You Hair! Or I won't Marry You!

Declaimer: I wish I owned Lord of the Rings... But my wished rarely come true.

Gift of the Evenstar

A/N: Thanks to xXAnimeFelineXx for getting me started on this idea!

Arwen was blissfully happy. She had gotten that annoying hobbit to Rivendell, and she was on her way to meet Aragorn. They met up on a conveniently romantic bridge.

"Aragorn," Arwen whispered, kissing her beloved. She looked up at him and noticed, to her annoyance, that his hair was horribly untidy.

"Arwen, my love," Aragorn murmured, kissing her in turn.

"Aragorn, can you please do something about your hair?" Arwen asked. "I have a lovely raspberry shampoo."

"But Arwen," Aragorn complained. "I don't like shampoo."

"That's rather obvious," Arwen commented. "Do you remember how we first met?" she asked, switching into Elvish.

"I thought I'd strayed into a dream," Aragorn said dreamily.

"Do you remember what I first told you?" Arwen asked.

"You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people," Aragorn said in a low voice.

"No, I meant the other part,"

"What?" Aragorn asked.

"I can't believe you don't remember! I said I'd bind myself to you etc., etc., ONLY IF YOU WASH YOUR HAIR BEFORE MARRYING ME!"

"Oh. Right." Aragorn said.

"And to that I hold," Arwen said. "I would rather share a mortal life with you and your clean hair, than endure all the ages of this world alone."

"Thank you," Aragorn said.

"I choose a mortal life. ONLY if you wash your hair!"

She slipped the Evenstar necklace into Aragorn's hand.

"You cannot give me this!" he exclaimed.

"It is mine to give to whom I will... Like my shampoo," Arwen said, and leaned forward to kiss Aragorn.

When they finally broke apart, Aragorn said,

"I don't really want the shampoo, but I'll keep the necklace,"

Arwen smiled sweetly, then shoved Aragorn off the bridge into the water.

"Arwen!" Aragorn screamed from the water, once he surfaced.

"You deserved it!" cried the enraged Arwen. "Besides, your hair might be a bit cleaner from that!"

A/N: Please review! I'll give you figurative ice cream!