Disclaimer: The Nazgul and most other characters-unless I mention them
beforehand-belong to Tolkien, and I've just twirked them a little for my
own twisted amusement. The plot belongs mostly to me, with some small
exceptions that are events from Tolkiens books.
Reviewage: Please, Please, PLEASE give me reviews! This is my first story, and I'd love to hear from everyone! Flaming is good, as long as it helps me figure out what I've done wrong, and how I can fix it so you like it better! Dankoo.
**This is just the first section, if people like it, and I get lotsa reviews (hehe) then I will upload more as soon as I can!**
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Nazgul Nonsense: The Journals of the Nine
The Thoughts of One, June 7th
It's getting too damn hot. Damn shrouds. Why the hell does Sauron make us wear them. Bastard. He could at least have them made of fabric that breathes. Or that Elven stuff.that'd be nice-not that they'd be happy to make it for us. But a different color at least would be a change.black is so hot, and it's depressing, and it makes Three so nervous. Blue is a nice color.. But then Six's horse would have conniptions. Damn animal. Of all the horses in Rohan.. Why did he have to pick that one?
We're still after those fucking hobbits. Ahh. I can't write that. just thinking about them gives me the shivers.. They're unnatural...so short...so hairy..so creepy..ugh. Nine wants to catch them though, and rape the one with the ring.... He thinks he's damn sexy. Idiot. He's unnatural too.
Three is whimpering about the darkness again. He's unnatural too. They're all unnatural. They're all fucking idiots. Why me? Why do I have to be stuck with these fools? Two thousand years. it is far too long. I can't stand it much longer. But there's no way out.. Maybe if these damn idiots could be reformed.. No. I'm stuck. Stuck with these imbeciles.
No. Maybe there is a way.
The Thoughts of Two, June 9th
One is turning into such a bitch. The summer heat always gets to him. He keeps bitching about the robes. But Sauron really should change the color, I've suggested pink. But the others-nine especially-are all like "Gag me with a spoon." Losers. They have no taste. I don't know how I live with them all, they're all so.unfashionable. The horror. I keep wishing that I could ditch them all. I'm too good for them anyway. I should be sitting on the throne of Rohan. But because of that bastard Sauron, I'll never have a warm bubble bath, a pedicure, or a shopping expedition to the Gap of Rohan again.
The more I think about it, the worse my situation is. Oh, woe. These forsaken horses smell more and more each day. Not to mention the saddle sores that have been popping up in.ahem.rather unpleasant places. If Sauron could at least put some more cushioning on the saddles.
Ohmygod.Seven's looking at me in "that way" again.I think I'd better run before he finds his whip. What I wouldn't give for a martini..
Reviewage: Please, Please, PLEASE give me reviews! This is my first story, and I'd love to hear from everyone! Flaming is good, as long as it helps me figure out what I've done wrong, and how I can fix it so you like it better! Dankoo.
**This is just the first section, if people like it, and I get lotsa reviews (hehe) then I will upload more as soon as I can!**
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Nazgul Nonsense: The Journals of the Nine
The Thoughts of One, June 7th
It's getting too damn hot. Damn shrouds. Why the hell does Sauron make us wear them. Bastard. He could at least have them made of fabric that breathes. Or that Elven stuff.that'd be nice-not that they'd be happy to make it for us. But a different color at least would be a change.black is so hot, and it's depressing, and it makes Three so nervous. Blue is a nice color.. But then Six's horse would have conniptions. Damn animal. Of all the horses in Rohan.. Why did he have to pick that one?
We're still after those fucking hobbits. Ahh. I can't write that. just thinking about them gives me the shivers.. They're unnatural...so short...so hairy..so creepy..ugh. Nine wants to catch them though, and rape the one with the ring.... He thinks he's damn sexy. Idiot. He's unnatural too.
Three is whimpering about the darkness again. He's unnatural too. They're all unnatural. They're all fucking idiots. Why me? Why do I have to be stuck with these fools? Two thousand years. it is far too long. I can't stand it much longer. But there's no way out.. Maybe if these damn idiots could be reformed.. No. I'm stuck. Stuck with these imbeciles.
No. Maybe there is a way.
The Thoughts of Two, June 9th
One is turning into such a bitch. The summer heat always gets to him. He keeps bitching about the robes. But Sauron really should change the color, I've suggested pink. But the others-nine especially-are all like "Gag me with a spoon." Losers. They have no taste. I don't know how I live with them all, they're all so.unfashionable. The horror. I keep wishing that I could ditch them all. I'm too good for them anyway. I should be sitting on the throne of Rohan. But because of that bastard Sauron, I'll never have a warm bubble bath, a pedicure, or a shopping expedition to the Gap of Rohan again.
The more I think about it, the worse my situation is. Oh, woe. These forsaken horses smell more and more each day. Not to mention the saddle sores that have been popping up in.ahem.rather unpleasant places. If Sauron could at least put some more cushioning on the saddles.
Ohmygod.Seven's looking at me in "that way" again.I think I'd better run before he finds his whip. What I wouldn't give for a martini..