D/c: I don't own the Covenant Boys.
This is a drabble inspired by diabetes. It's about Reid and his fear of the inevitable.
Rated for cursing.
Enjoy.
--
They warn me, every time I Use.
"You're going to get addicted."
"You need to take care of yourself."
"You're going to die."
Thanks guys, I know.
"Aren't you scared?"
"Aren't you at all worried?"
I say, "No, I'll be fine. I'm alive now, aren't I?"
I'm scared shitless. They think I don't get it. Truth is, I'm just enjoying myself while I can. I'm going to live it up before I have to regulate my life. I just want to have fun before it's too late.
I know it runs in my family, I can see it. I will fall into temptation, just like my father and grandfather before me. They got it under control though. They know how to Use when needed, not to waste life on trivial things.
I don't know if I can do that.
I've lived this way for so long. I've become accustomed to the freedom, the power, the invincible feeling. Mostly because I know that some day I will probably be tempted into Using my power to my death. I will forget regulation, I will do what I want, I will Use just because I can.
But I won't tell the guys this. I don't want them to know. They think I don't care, and it's fine with me. I don't want them to worry about me more than they already do. When the time comes, I'll take care of myself. Until then, I'm going to give it my all and love every fucking second of it.
So what if I'm scared shitless?
--
Because I was thinking.
Till next time,
-J X