Intro thing…y…mo-bobber…?

Yay.
A comedy.
As in, y'know, funny things… that happen… and make people laugh… maybe…
Wait.
My comedy?
Wait, you're saying…
This thing is mine?
AUGH!
(Runs around in circles for a minute, panicking)
THE WORLD IS GOING TO ENNNNDDDD!

Tahu: oO Guys, the Authoress has gone nuts again.

(Stops running) Have not.

Tahu: Have so.

D: Shut up.ANYWAYS.
Yeah.
This would be a series of short… story… ish… things.
That are supposed to be funny.
Are they?
I have no clue.
My brain is on hold currently, please leave a message after the—

Takanuva: (Groans) Since miss I-totally-have-no-clue-what-I'm-doing here isn't doing anything… (Holds up sign)

Sign: Any and all questions randomly spawned by this comedy may be answered by checking the FAQs or by leaving a review. You should probably (at the very least,) read the entries on Imagia, Danni, and Takua/Taka before continuing, 'cuz there's no other way you'd know what the karzanhi I'm talking about. Savvy?

Codes (Use ctrl+f):
Im1a1gi1a—entry on Imagia
Po2we2r—entry on Power Books
Da3n3ni—entry on Danni, the Authoress
Ch4ro4n4ic4le4r—entry on Takua/Taka
C5or5cra5—entry on Corcra, the "Psychic kitten"
Ho6us6e—entry on the "Golden-yellow two-story house"
7Toa7—entry on the Toa & their oddities

That-girl-who's-writing-this-thing: Yeah… that about does it. :D ENJOY, and feel free to leave a suggestion after the beep. (Grabs answering machine, hits button—Beeeeeeee--)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Bionicle, the Toa, Mewtwo, Pokemon, or anything other than: Imagia, Power-Books, Myself, the Toa's "oddities", Corcra's oddities, the Golden-Yellow house, and anything related to the aforementioned subjects. Steal and die a very painful copyrighted death. :D

First Skit:
Swamp monsters!

"You go get them."
"No, you!"
"You're the older one, you go get them!"
It was a dark and stormy—hang on a second!
…
…
…
Okay, sorry about that. It was a clear, star-filled, cold and annoyingly normal night outside of the golden-yellow, two-story house in Imagia.

Naturally, it was that night that a certain Chronicler decided to go camp out in the backyard.
And now, he was arguing with himself.
Not that this was particularily unusual; such things happen often when you've been split into two separate people.
Literally.

Takua pouted, staring pointedly at the pile of comic books and scary stories, waiting for a response. None came, so he tried again. "You're older than me. Go get them."
"I don't care if I'm older. I'm not getting the karzanhi-spawn of a comic book."
Takua glared at his older self, even more pointedly. "Taka-a-a!" he whined, "I want the comic books!"
"Go and get them yourself," growled an unsympathetic Takanuva, burrowing deeper into his over-large sleeping bag in an attempt to escape the incessant whining. If there was one thing that Takua did better than chronicle things, it had to be whining.

The colorful Chronicler sniffled, trying to think of some way to get Takanuva out of his sleeping bag. Then, he had it. An idea. An idea to end all… oh, forget it. "If you don't," he threatened, grinning devilishly, "I'll go outside… and get a rock… and drop it on my foot, and run into a tree, and nearly drown myself, and--"
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I'm getting the dang books!"
Takua smirked and snuggled down into the warmth of his sleeping bag, watching triumphantly as Takanuva attempted to get the books without getting out of his own sleeping bag.

Another side effect of being split in two: anything that happens to the Past hurts the Future.
In other words:
Takua drops a hammer on his foot, and Takanuva gets hurt too.
Naturally, Takua used this to his advantage.
About ten billion times over.
Ouch.

"Which one should we read?" Takanuva grumbled, back in his sleeping bag now and shivering furiously. 'Dang kid.'
"Monsters from the Blue Goo Lagoon!" Takua cheered, bouncing up and down a bit.
Takanuva rolled his eyes. "You'll have nightmares."
"WILL NOT!"
"Yes, you will."
Takua pouted again. "How do you know?"
"I'm you, remember? Now choose something else. You may want nightmares, but I sure as heck don't."
Takua continued to pout, though, and eventually Takanuva gave in.
"Fine, fine. But if we get nightmares, I'm gonna kill you."
"You can't! You'll die, too!"
"IT'LL BE WORTH IT. Now shut up and let me read."

An hour or two later…

Takua shuddered quietly in his sleeping bag, listening to the night-noises outside. 'Maybe reading that story wasn't such a good idea after all,' he thought, nearly jumping out of his skin when an owl swooped down on a mouse outside.
Takua rolled over and looked at Takanuva instead. Asleep. 'How on Mata Nui can he sleep after reading that? What if the Swamp Monsters come and eat 'im?' he wondered, then added grimly, 'Well, at least if they eat HIM first, one of us will still be alive… Huh, I wonder what would happen if he died? I know if I die, he goes away, but what if he dies? I should ask Danni that sometime. Wait! What was that?'

The tiny Chronicler sat up straight, staring blankly at the flimsy fabric walls of the tent. What was that noise? It was outside, and it didn't sound like another mouse. Or an owl. Or even a cat ('Evil things, those'). No, it sounded like…

Takua wriggled over to his older self fearfully. "Taka! Wake up, wake up!"
Takanuva groaned. "If this is another mouse again, I'm really going to kill you," he muttered, only half-awake.
"It's not! Come on, wake up and listen!"
Takanuva sat up, yawning widely and attempting to listen.

Crack.
Crack, rustle, snap-crack.
Footsteps.

"See?" Takua hissed, eyes wide, "Something's out there."
Takanuva rolled his eyes. "Yeah, probably a fox or something. Let me go back to sleep, Takua."
"No! There's not enough footsteps. It's probably a swamp monster!" Takua whimpered, listening hard as the footsteps got closer.
"Swamp monster?" There was obvious disbelief in Takanuva's voice. "I knew we shouldn't have read that book!"
"Shh! It might find us, and eat us up!" Takua squeaked, diving deeper into his sleeping bag.
"Takua," Takanuva sighed, "Swamp Monsters aren't real."

There was a muffled growling exclamation from outside the tent, the words either in another language or so muddled together that they were no longer understandable.

Takua gave a muffled whimper and equally muffled response from inside his sleeping bag, probably something along the lines of, 'yes they are real and there's one right out there!'
Takanuva frowned. While he had to admit that he didn't really believe in Swamp Monsters… 'Swamp Monsters! Ha!'... The noise definitely hadn't been a normal one. And it wouldn't be the first time that something from someone else's house had made its way into their backyard. "Hmmm," he murmured, "I wonder what it could be?"
"Swamp monster," Takua reminded him with a whimper, managing to talk loudly enough to be heard outside the thick fabric, "Blind it, please, Taka!"

Takanuva frowned again. Blinding was not exactly his favorite option; for one thing they didn't even know if the thing outside was hostile. He had gotten in trouble before for using his Mask to blind things, most of the time on accident. "Let's see if it's even going to bug us." He advised nervously, listening as the footsteps got closer, and closer, and...
Takua groaned. "Of course it is! It's hungry! We're edible!" he hissed—but was too afraid to do anything. He was just a very small Matoran, after all, and not very good at fighting off evil Swamp Monsters.

Zi-i-i-ip.

"It's opening the tent!" Takua screamed.

Flash, crash, bang!

Takanuva and Takua ran from the now-collapsed tent, rushing for the safety of the house and ignoring the enraged roars coming from the tangled mass that used to be a tent.
"You got 'im!" Takua crowed gleefully once they were safely through the back door and in the kitchen.
"Yeah. Wonder what it was?" Takanuva gasped out, trying his best to regain his breath and wondering why they had decided to set up camp so far from the house. He also wondered about the creature some more—it was definitely as tall as he was, and reddish-orange, with ruby-red, angry eyes. 'Hmm…'

"Swamp Monster." Takua reminded him again.
Takanuva sighed, and was about to remind himself that Swamp Monsters did not and never would exist…

Then Danni wandered in. A human girl with long blonde hair and bright green eyes hiding behind a pair of brown glasses, she was about 5'4 in height and, what's more, an Authoress. Considering that Authors and Authoresses in Imagia were the only ones with Power Books, this made her somewhat special. Right now she looked slightly tired, greatly worried, and highly amused.
"Thought you guys were camping out?" she smirked, amused.
"We thought we were, too," Takua said sadly. "Then Swamp Monsters invaded."
Danni laughed at that, green eyes shining merrily. "Been reading spooky stories, hmm?" she giggled, shaking her head, "I managed to send Tahu out just now, too, to check on you. Did you see him?"

Takanuva and Takua gulped and looked at each other nervously.
"Sort of," they muttered, already envisioning the headlines: 'Toa & Chronicler Burned Alive!Subtitle: Camping Accident leads to Murder!'

Word count: 1,200-and-something. Wow, that seems short. What? Not short? Hey, don't complain. O. Henry's short stories could get to 2,000+. And I've had "short" stories end up at over 10,000.
:D
… BE THANKFUL, DARN YOU.

Anyways, hope that wasn't too boring. o.o; Got the general idea from a Calvin and Hobbes comic…. Oo; Seems that every time they camp out, they read some scary story and end up staying up all night.
(Cough) Anyways, please review?

:D
… REVIEW, DANGIT! D:

Oh. If you didn't find this funny, um…
I've got another one that I'm working on, and… uh…
That'll be funnier? D:
Hopefully?
Possibly?
Maybe?

INFOMASHUN!

Code: Im1a1gi1a
Entry: Imagia.
Imagia is, essentially, "Author Land", the only planet on which something even remotely resembling Author Powers exists (See: Entry on Power Books).

((Real Life Note: Thought it up out of the blue one day. Imaginative name, isn't it:P)) The population, however, mainly consists of non-writers; this is due to the fact that the Authors and Authoresses who make it through the brief "School Tests" on their first trip, often use their Power Books to bring in their favorite characters from videogames, books, and et cetera.

Imagia is still mostly unpopulated, however, as the School Tests are quite... Strenuous. This is actually a good thing, however, as it means that there is enough room for everyone to have a fairly large house. Yay.

Code: Po2we2r
Entry: Power Books
Power books. Right. Well, it's basically every author power you've ever heard of bundled into one lovely little book. To access the powers, you simply write, well… Let's say we wanted to toss Tahu off a cliff so he wouldn't destroy a certain Chronicler and his older shiny Toa self. Simple. Write: "Tahu suddenly found himself falling off a cliff, how random." and it'll happen. Note that nothing happens unless you complete the sentence properly; without a period, exclamation point, et cetera, nothing will happen. This is so you have time to make sure the extremely literal Power Book isn't going to take your words the wrong way, and possibly change 'em around. Yay.
This would probably be why the School Tests are so strict, eh heh heh…

Code: Da3n3ni
Entry: Danni, the Authoress.
Yay, 'tis me:D As mentioned in the flick above, I am about 5'4, has long blonde hair, green eyes, and brown glasses. I'm usually found wearing normal blue jeans and a baggy sweatshirt of some sort. Yeah. A modestly dressed OC. Whoop-de-doo.

Anyways, Danni is based on my real-life self, so she's shy around people she doesn't know, but around people she knows well she can get kind of crazy. Especially if the people she knows are younger than her. She's the owner of the Golden-Yellow Two-Story house, and likes to get into "Adventures" with the others. Hates Tahu ("Every dang time I think he's actually an okay guy, he goes and does something totally idiotic and makes me hate him again! What the karzanhi is WRONG with him?"), looks after Takua, gossips with Gali, and shares a sort of reading club with Onua.
EDIT: Err, one more thing. My room is the home of about 15 living toys. Yes, as in moving, talking, climbing about on my desk toys. Savvy? (Couldn't find anywhere else to stick that…)

Code: Ch4ro4n4ic4le4r
Entry:Takua/Takanuva
Okay. Last time I tried this, (See: Previous story, Insanity) someone got confused, and so I'm going to explain it this time. I know some of you are going to be looking at the above skit/short story/flick and saying to yourself, "Why the heck are Takanuva and Takua separate persons?" Well, because I wanted them to be. :D

See… there's this odd thing about me… I absolutely love Takua, 'cuz he's a cute little bugger even if he does play pranks on people every five minutes, but Takanuva is pretty dang cool too. So I got the idea (while reading a SSBM flick), why not have both of them in the house at the same time? Takua and Taka were brought in, and they've been fighting ever since.

By the way, I figured out the fine points of the whole one-person-two-different-times thing.
Basically, it's like this:
Takanuva, due to his, err—split personality, has giant, vague spots in his memory that Takua is constantly filling in. Naturally, it's a dang miracle Takanuva isn't insane already from this, but whatever. Now, when Takua, say, drops a hammer on his foot, Takanuva gets that memory too. Only, since memories of pain are particularily evil sorts, the force of the memory returning brings back the pain, slightly less than what Takua's experiencing, but pain nonetheless.

Note that I mentioned that Takua didn't quite know what would happen if Takanuva died. Well, it's like this: If Takanuva ever died, first of all I would be devastated (I hate seeing my darling Toa die—DARN YOU GREG FARSHTEY! (cries over the little bit of recent books I read)), but second of all, if he didn't regenerate like he's supposed to, Takua would live for about three more years or so then die, too. Meepers.
Naturally, neither of them would like me much if I told them that (Me being the one who split them and caused that mess in the first place), so… I haven't told them… eh heh heh.

Oh, and by the way. Takua's desperately afraid of cats (they think he's a giant, colorful chew toy oO), and small, dark spaces. Heck, any dark space. Takanuva's just afraid his "little brother" will do something really stupid and kill them both (at least, that's what he told me).

Code: C5or5cra5
Entry: Corcra
Ah, Corcra. He isn't mentioned in this short story, but he will be in the next one, so shush.
Corcra is, essentially, a giant, purple, psychic cat. If you don't know what the karzanhi he is yet, I'm going to slap you and remind you: "HE'S A MEWTWO, IDIOT!"

Anyways. Corcra was taken from my Red/Blue game, and currently is one of only two characters in my house that isn't Bionicle (me being the other one, of course). He's anti-social, quite smart, and likes to mess with Kopaka's technological projects.
He hates contractions ("Why on Kanjoenn is will-plus-not 'won't'? Where did that o come from?"), Tahu, dogs, Mew, and Pokeballs. Don't ask me why, I've never been in a Pokeball myself so I don't know what the fuss is about. (He says it's too much like a test tube for comfort, but I obviously can't confirm that. I think he's claustrophobic.)

Code: Ho6us6e
Entry: The two-story golden-yellow house
Right! So! My house. It's actually pretty average if you ignore the fact that we managed to fit more rooms into it than technically possible and the, um, unusual inhabitants.
I'll give you a vagueish sort of layout:

Upper floor:
(Rooms)
My room (end of hall)
Six guest rooms (alternating sides of hall)

Left side of hall:
Kopaka's room
Gali's room
Lewa's room
Pohatu's room

Right side of hall:
Corcra's room
Onua's room
Takua/Takanuva's room (What? They're the same person. What's wrong with them sharing a room?)
Tahu's room ( As far away from Kopaka, Cor, and my room as humanly (biomechanically?) possible. Lawl.)

Main floor:
"Entry hall"/Living room (Obviously, this is where the front door enters into. Yay. Holds the big TV and most of the game systems.)
Kitchen (Above Living room) (NOTE: This is where the Toa eat, not me. I eat my meals in my room. Why? Well, Toa and other biomechanical creatures don't exactly eat like humans do… And until Greg decides to tell us exactly how, I'm not eating where they do. The Toa & Chronicler agree with me on this, we'd probably stare at each other's "odd" ways of eating instead of actually eat.)
Library (Left of Living room)
Computer room (Left of Kitchen)
Stairways (Above Kitchen)
(NOTE: May not seem like much, but the computer and living rooms alone take up a huge amount of space.)

Basement:
Um. Not much to say here. It's just a big room holding junk and various things we couldn't fit upstairs (A slightly smaller TV and the rest of the game systems, for one thing).
Err. Yeah. That's about it. oo;

Code: 7Toa7
Entry: The Toa & their oddities
Yay, the mainish characters… ish. First of all, all MY Toa are Olda. (Except Takanuva, obviously, but that can't be helped.) What does that mean? Pre-Nuva. Duh.
Why? Well, because I like the Toa Olda better, of course. Shut up, it's my decision. Go find yourself some way to get to Imagia and you can have your own Nuva.
Anyways…

FIRST OF ALL, if you DO NOT like any of the personalities or oddities I put in, well, here's my solution: There's more than one Tahu, Onua, et cetera in Imagia. Why? Because it's the only way I could think of for all those Toa having different personalities for every story they appear in! Yeesh. This is just how mine are. Savvy?
Also, this is just listing the things that are different from the "stereotype" personalities for them. (For example, everyone knows Kopaka is anti-social, so I'm not putting that down.)

Tahu's oddities: Not a pyromaniac; hates stereotypes, Corcra, and me. Why? I have no clue… oO; Oh. Has this weird fear of Muaka. What the karzanhi.
Kopaka's oddities: Um. He doesn't really have any. Oo; I need to think some up sometime. Heh. (I'd put "computer geek" and "master inventor", but I think everyone's Kopaka is like that already.)
Gali's oddities: Grammar freak, unabashed gossip, hates bugs and the color pink.
Pohatu's oddities: Clumsy and hates sweet things (cake, pie, cookies, et cetera). Only slightly dim, unlike some comedies that insist he's a blathering idiot. Idiots.
Onua's oddities: Extreme bookworm, goes sort of berzerk when someone steals his book, totally ignores everything and everyone when reading.
Lewa's oddities: Extremely hyper, childish, and loves cats (The basement is practically full of them). Never, ever, ever, ever feed him sugar. Ever.
Takua's/Taka's oddities: Takua: Arrogant little prankster. Need I say more? Oh, right. Hates cats. A lot. Taka: oO has this odd fear of calligraphy pens. Don't ask me why.