It was late on a Friday night, and as I stumbled with utter exhaustion into my home from a single night out with the three best friends I'd had since third grade, I could barely keep my head afloat. I laughed, recalling our stories, our Charmed marathon, our Tarot readings, chanting, our shared gossip of the week, our woes, our constant heartbreaks, the guys we grew to hate. Little had my friends known, I'd been casting love spells for over a month. Being slightly practiced in Wicca, I knew vehemently that love spells were never meant to work, yet the little spells my friends and I had done before were successful, and I wanted to know just how far I could take it. Of course, I had made a few modifications, changed a few words for "love" to something more appropriate, but I had ulterior motives. I was simply tired of feeling alone, despite how happy my friends could make me. It was late. It was Saturday morning at 1:01am, precisely, when I stumbled into my home. I had been awake since seven-thirty the previous morning. I hadn't drank enough to get drunk, but my head swam. I hurried into my bathroom and used it, brushed my teeth, gargled with Listerine. I showered, washing the day from my skin. When I stepped out of my bathroom and into my bedroom, the breeze of August was howling in through the balcony door, which I knew had been closed upon my arrival. My heart quit beating for a few fatal seconds, and I hurried towards my bed for the bat with which I'd slept under my pillows. I lived by myself, so I wasn't trying to take chances. I paused, afraid I'd heard the intruder. I hurried to the bed, and as I searched for that bat, I never felt it. I pulled my pillows clear off the bed, and found nothing. I stared towards the open door, the wind blowing furiously against the walls, beckoning me out into the night, where the moon stood with his full face glowing down on the world.
I paused; it was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever beheld. And as I was standing there, I started to forget that my home had been broken into. As if in a trance, I started towards the door, and when I was nearly to the exit, I heard something drop. On the threshold sat that metal bat I'd searched for beneath my pillows; except it was broken in half, flattened as if it had been run over with a bulldozer. My heart stopped again, out of utter fear and reluctance to believe what I was seeing. I stepped closer to the door, and when I looked through it, on my balcony stood a figure who I had never seen before, its back to me. It was tall and somewhat ominous under the moonlight. There was what appeared to be a flowing green cape around it. It was a windy night, which caused the cloth to flail against the figure. He didn't move, and for some odd reason, my instinct wasn't fear when I saw him.
In fact, I stepped over the broken bat on the threshold and approached the figure slowly. He was gazing up at the moon. I was close enough to touch him, though I knew he had heard me approaching the entire time. He was taller than me, and as his pale face turned slowly towards me in the moonlight, I felt my heart race. He grinned down at me with a mischief unlike I'd ever seen. And then he looked disappointed.
"You won't even try to deny me?" he asked. I felt mesmerized as my eyes drank in his beauty. I shook my head for no. The mystery man's eyes floated to the battered bat on the floor waiting in my doorway. I started to realize that this stranger's presence was probably my spell playing itself out in some odd manner. I didn't fear.
"I believed you would put up a fight," he said, straightening out, projecting his chest with a type of haughtiness that I didn't even find irritating; he just oozed royalty. How he had known about the bat, I had no idea, but I did not care. The moon was illuminating his pallor like a radiant, smooth stone, whose coldness I longed to feel against my skin. He shook his head slowly, laughing in mischief, and he left my gaze, circling around me slowly. I saw a pale hand on the ledge of the balcony on my left, and then another on my right. I felt his voice behind me, but he didn't even touch me. I wasn't sure why, but I started to be driven crazy with lust.
"Take heed not to pray to the wrong deities, as some are not so patient and forgiving as others," he said in a voice that should have scared me, and I tried with difficulty to recall my altar, the gods I'd picked out of arbitrariness to include in my craft. I closed my eyes for a moment and vaguely recalled a description of a god with a silver tongue. I had added him to my altar simply for the sake of wanting to be a better debater in arguments, to always have the last word. I'd simply chosen him because I'd gone through lists of deities, adding those to my altar who had characteristics I wished to inherit. "It's beautiful," he said, and I wasn't sure whether he was speaking of the moon, or me where I felt his chin rest atop my head, as casually as if he had done this many times before. I opened my eyes then, but still couldn't place his name. It became clearer to me that I had invoked a god, and with some confusion, I believed that this wasn't what I'd been asking for in my spell casting.
"Will you not at the very least make it entertaining for me, fight, scream?" the stranger asked. I tilted my head back, wanting to feel his chest against me. It was as cool as I had imagined it to be. I glanced down at his pale hands, which clutched the balcony railing, and slowly, the paint on the wood chipped there from his firm grasp. I thought about the broken metal bat on the floor behind me and knew that I should have feared, but I did not. As my hair continued to drip and drop water against my skin, I felt something very cold on my waist then, the towel having been ripped away. The stranger lifted me so that I was up in his arms, my feet off the ground, one of my slippers having fallen clear off. He pulled a fist of my hair back, so that my head leant against his shoulder.
"Look at it," he said forcefully to me, and I stared at the moon. I wasn't sure why he had wanted me to do this, but it began not to matter when I heard him inhaling incessantly, pressing his nose against my shoulder, my neck.
"The stench of virgin," he said through gritted teeth, and for a moment I was offended; I had just showered and knew that I smelled like nothing more than pleasant lavender and orchids. Suddenly, the situation began to make itself clearer to me and I struggled in the stranger's pale arms momentarily. The way he had a hold on my hair caused my neck to strain painfully. And then his lips were a cold presence on my shoulder, the kisses gentler than his grasp.
"And a witch at that," he added, passing a hand over the wet amulet I was still wearing. It was in the shape of a moon, and stood for the coven to which I belonged with my friends. The stranger laughed slightly, and I felt his chest bare then against my naked back.
"You think you know magic, foolish woman," he said slyly. My pulse quickened, and I thought surely if he were a demon, he wouldn't have been able to touch me, let alone get this close in the first place, but as he casually ripped the amulet from my neck and let it drop noisily on the deck, I knew that what little magic I was capable of couldn't have protected me then. I was overcome with a strange lust when I felt the stranger pass a cold hand down my leg, gently rubbing me. I contorted my waist in the direction of his touch as it slowly left me. He lowered me slowly then, pulling my body harshly against his, and I knew then that he was naked. Unsure of how he'd managed to become naked without touching himself, I knew what was about to happen.
"I am Loki, the god of mischief and lies," he said, pulling my head to the side so that it was tilted up and he was speaking directly into my ear. Loki's voice was almost like the hissing of a snake against my eardrum and I shivered.
"I am burdened with glorious purpose," he continued, caressing my hip with his free hand, "and if you sacrifice yourself to me now, offer me your virginity, worship me as your god and saviour, I swear to give you power unlike that which you have ever known yourself capable of. And I promise to spare you when the human race grovels at my feet."
"…And why do you think that the human race would ever grovel at your feet?" I asked. I felt myself being flung forwards and turned so that I faced Loki in an instant. He glared down upon me, and placed his cold hands around my neck. I paused, knowing I'd been too bold.
"How dare you pray to me, and when I answer, disrespect me?"
"I didn't pray to—"
"You cast your pathetic spells, longing for companionship, and you think you will receive the answer you want to receive. You know not what you practice," he said, smiling slightly, as if he thought I were funny.
"Ah, but great things…they come with a price, witch. Accept my offer now, or it will be the last you are ever presented," he said clearly, graveness taking over his face again. I knew then that my spell had gone horribly awry. I glanced at my amulet on the floor by Loki's feet. He began to laugh at me and kicked it aside.
"I am no demon. It did not thwart me, witch," he said, leaning in over my face so that I backed away slightly. He inhaled deeply again, and closed his eyes, and shuddered.
"I didn't summon you. Something went wrong. I wouldn't try to invoke evil—"
"Your naiveté is scathingly painful," he said, his eyes widening, "You read in black and white, witch. I am an entity neither evil, nor wholly good. I am a god, made to be prayed to and worshipped. You summoned me, and now you are wasting my time," he said, beginning to squeeze at my windpipe. I gasped and he bit his lower lip, seemingly intrigued by the way I began to suffocate under his grasp. I began to feel faint, but Loki's grasp kept me standing so that I couldn't fall.
"I accept," I finally choked, grabbing at his pale wrists, but as I felt them, I knew I could not have removed Loki's grasp had I sincerely tried. He smiled slowly and then laughed that mischievous laugh again. He let go slowly, then stepped towards my balcony door. As he backed up, I finally took in the sight of him naked. I glanced down to find myself equally disrobed, and it was as if I was noticing for the first time that my towel was sitting on the floor. Blushing madly, I reached down to pick it up.
"You won't be needing that, my pet," he said, his voice so sexually arousing that I was already beginning to feel wet. He gestured through the door with a flourish of his pale arms, bowing slightly to me, and I was astonished at how quickly his countenance had gone from murderous to damn near flirtatious. As if hypnotized, I walked slowly into my house again, and heard Loki laughing his impish laugh. It caused my ears to perk up and my heart rate to increase. The air that had been rushing so wildly came to a halt when I heard him close my balcony door. I heard the lock turn and knew that I was no longer able to back out of the offer this god had made me. I turned around, hearing him inhale deeply and exhale just the same. His pale hands were pulling all of my shades open, so that the full new moon had a perfect view of us. It occurred to me as the moon cast its rays upon my altar on the dresser by my closet that I'd been casting this love spell for an entire moon cycle.
"There's no need to be afraid," Loki said, opening the windows so that the breeze still rushed in. I sat idly on my bed, waiting for him to meet me. He paused at my dresser, grinning at me in the mirror there, where he could see me from behind as I watched him innocently. His adept long fingers pulled slowly open the drawer and he found my lighter. I realized he seemed to have complete knowledge of my room, finding the incense that I kept in the left drawer, and the small glass in which I'd usually light it. Loki went to work, lighting my candles where they sat atop the dresser in the pentagram I had there for a month now. He lit the candles in the same direction in which I knew to draw invoking pentagrams, and I knew then that this god had intercepted my craft. The candles were green and gold, something I had chosen purely for the fact that green represented health and prosperity, and the gold masculinity, to name a few qualities I valued highly in a significant other.
I watched Loki draw the invocation pentagram in the air above my altar with the index and middle fingers of his right hand, taking a deep exhale. It was almost as if he were copying after what I'd done the many nights leading up to this moment. He then turned around and approached me where I sat, watching him. I was on the edge of my bed and Loki slowly started into it on the other side. And then I stood up unsurely, backing against the wall. I felt nervous then. I'd never done magic like this before. I nearly pinched myself to be sure I wasn't dreaming. Loki's gaze followed me widely, and he looked me up and down for a moment, waiting for me to come back.
"Surely, you do not deny your god now, do you, Eden?" he asked me quite coldly, narrowing his verdant eyes slightly. I didn't answer. I only stared. The moon bathed his pale skin beautifully, yet I had a nervous knot in my stomach that wouldn't untie itself.
"Come…here," he said slowly, firmly, narrowing his eyes at me and patting his hand in front of himself against my lilac quilt. Loki leant his head forth, and I felt his anger growing.
"Is this not what you've been praying for, witch?" he asked enticingly. My lips parted to speak but no words came out. I felt beyond shy. Loki looked at me for a little bit, his gaze becoming less and less patient as I stood with my back against the wall. He started to come towards me on my bed with a look of utter impatience. I sought the door, but knew there was no way I could have run anywhere. Loki's jaw tightened and his mouth became a hard line. He paused.
"I mean not to induce fear," he finally said calmly, though I knew he was impatient.
"You summoned me, woman," he said. I thought about my spell; nowhere in it did I mention Loki, and I still felt as though it hadn't worked quite properly.
"I mean to cause you no harm if you accept my offer now," he said with finality and I knew it was my last chance to make something out of this. I started carefully towards my bed, and Loki smiled. I found my way slowly and sat no more than a foot in front of him, on my knees. My hands had made their way over my breasts. I was dry now, but my hair still dripped silently. Loki frowned and reached for my hands.
"Do not hide from me what you have offered," he said, prying my hands away. I didn't try to cover myself again. He looked me over, and I felt his hands with the long fingers firmly grasp my naked hips. And then swiftly, Loki pulled my legs out from under me so that I was sitting on my bare bottom. I gasped and he laughed, tucking a hand inside my hair and holding my head firmly, his thumb pressing against my cheek. He used his other hand to pull me towards him by the waist.
"I can smell the innocence on your untouched flesh," he said hungrily, tilting his head and leaning in on me slowly. I felt his kiss on my lips and never closed my eyes for nervousness. Loki groaned and inhaled.
"This you offer me in exchange for real power and my protection," he said, looking down into my eyes. He was massive in comparison to me. I felt him pull my hips forward again and soon found my legs strewn over his waist as he looked down upon me, rubbing his hand firmly down my back. My skin began to heat up, despite the coolness of Loki's touch. He pressed his forehead to mine, still enjoying the smell of me.
"Can I touch you?" I asked shyly, wanting to know whether his black hair shining in the moonlight was as soft as his skin. He laughed pleasantly. I took it as acquiescence and pushed my hands slowly through his black hair. It fell slightly past his shoulders and I shoveled it over to the side, so that it fell slightly against his pale cheekbone. Loki grabbed the backs of my knees and held my legs apart. I gasped. He passed his hand beneath me and rubbed at my opening. I snapped my legs shut as far as they would go, which wasn't further than the expanse of Loki's waist. He crooned at me delicately. He touched me again, this time applying more pressure and I lifted upwards, crying out in discomfort, grabbing his wrist and pulling it down, guiding his hand away from my womanhood.
"It hurts," I stated.
Loki grinned toothlessly in response, and crooned at me again as he coaxed me to spread my legs to him once more. I understood that he meant to be gentle this time, but his fingers still caused me pain when he tried to insert them, and I grabbed at his wrist feverishly, unable to accept his hands touching me there. I looked at his fingers and gasped to see a bit of blood on them. Loki looked at the blood and merely spread it across his fingers before clearing it off with his mouth. Slowly, Loki pulled my legs from over his waist and showed me his growing length. He wasn't fully erect, but I looked on in awe at his girth, the length not yet to its full height. He picked up on this nervousness, yet he held my hands and guided them to his member, helping me wrap my fingers around it. He let his head fall back as he moaned, and jutting out of his pale throat was an Adam's apple that I felt the urge to taste, applying my lips there. I stroked him delicately, curiously. Loki looked back down at me with lusty eyes, his lips parting as he began to moan. He stopped me after less than a minute of the rubbing I was doing.
"Now, let me take you. You swore to me your innocence." Loki began to grab the backs of my legs and pull me towards him again. I shuddered, fearing what his now fully erect penis would feel like inside of me; I hadn't even been able to accept his slender digits. I started to cower away. Loki sighed.
"Come to your god. I will make it as painless as I can," he coaxed. But the way his teeth gleamed in the light caused me to be wary of his smile. I shook my head, staring at the erect organ in front of me. Loki began pulling my legs towards him again.
"It will be very quick," he promised. Loki pressed my shoulders back so I was lying down. He pulled my legs towards him, dragging me by the back of my knees towards him across my bed. I let out a slight cry. He paused, kissing down my chest and stomach. I thought I felt him shivering as he kept inhaling deeply. I felt his head dip between my legs, and was surprised when I felt his lips place a firm kiss against my womanhood. Loki then made his way on top of me and impaled me so fast that I barely had time to think. He was holding my legs apart so that I couldn't shut them again, and when I felt this tearing sensation inside of me, I cried out, and tears flowed my eyes. My scream was met with Loki's moan, and I felt his body quake against me as his stomach made contact with mine. I wanted nothing more than to push him off, to cast him out, but I was frozen in place, the way I often was when met with pain. I just started to cry, though he hadn't moved inside me yet. It felt as though my body were trying to resist him, like there were walls inside of me, blocking him from entering, yet I felt him enter to nearly the hilt.
"Sacrifice," Loki said sullenly, observing my face as he propped himself up on his elbows. He didn't move until I calmed down. And then he gave me a grin. I thought I felt him trembling, but his expression was so controlled that I wasn't convinced he felt exactly what I was feeling. He caressed my hair.
"Why have you never accepted the weight of a man?" Loki asked, his voice so gentle and soothing, and for a moment I thought he sounded like my yoga instructor.
"Your heart…it burns with the desire to give love and to receive it. But you have put up your walls," he explained. I wondered whether he was reading my damned mind, or had read my diary. I was so captivated by his words and gaze that I didn't notice that he was fucking me gently, until he grunted and squeezed his eyes shut momentarily, slowing to a pause. Loki trembled again. He closed his lips tightly, but the moans emerging deep in his throat were tangible as I laid there beneath him. I lifted my head to litter his neck with kisses. Loki nodded slowly, as if answering a question I hadn't even asked. There wasn't any more pain when he continued. His skin against my thighs began to feel very warm. Loki merely smiled and kept close watch at my expressions as I began to enjoy how it felt. I reached up with a trembling hand to touch his face. He watched me do this with a more serious expression. I pressed my hands against his unreal smooth cheeks and chest. Loki began to thrust harder and faster and I grabbed his shoulders.
"You weren't saving yourself," he breathed, "for me, now were you?" The mischievous way that Loki was looking at me was further arousing at that point. I pulled my hands down his smooth back repeatedly, yet I felt not a drop of sweat there. My pulse was quickening, but Loki appeared almost unaffected by his own quick movements, his breath remaining even while I gasped to catch mine.
"What a delicate little thing," he said, slowing his thrusts again to enjoy how tight I was. He would rhythmically speed up until I started to feel this insane urgency inside, when I knew my release was on its way, and then slow down until I wasn't pulling at him desperately on the inside. Loki kept this act up, seeming to enjoy the desperation growing within me. I wasn't sure I would be able to stay awake much longer, as the night slowly gave way, so that I knew this had been going on for hours. My legs had fallen asleep and I had begun to scrape at Loki's back and squirm like a fish out of water. Finally, he fucked me at a quick pace until I met my orgasm. He was no doubt in my mind a god. I didn't have to not be a virgin to know that human men didn't last that long. I fell into one of the best and deepest sleeps I've ever had as Loki kissed me on the lips and pulled out slowly.
When I awoke, the sun was looking in on me with a new day. The window was still ajar, but the air was drastically cooler. I started to sit up, wondering just how much I'd had to drink last night; that was one of the craziest dreams I'd ever dreamt. But as I sat up in bed and found myself naked and wrapped in a familiar green shroud, I knew it hadn't been a dream at all. I looked to my dresser to find the candles there melted completely down. I felt different, and I couldn't exactly say why. But none of it mattered; I felt powerful.