samisubi requested: If it isnt too weird for you guys i have a request for a very weird idea that popped in my head! Since they have regeneration abilities, i imagine Kinoshita being cut into a bunch of pieces. Then each of those pieces grow into mini Kinoshitas.
Admin Notes: Some of the prompts just get weirder and weirder, omg. It's funny to think through though, so I hope this story will also make you laugh. I'm going to make it not too graphic because a friend of mine doesn't want that so I'll try to keep it that way. This is going to end up as another crack fic and break the fourth wall. - Admin Saeki
It was one of those days where no one felt exactly comfortable. The Underworld Escorts had been on edge all day, as if something bad was about to happen.
Rokkaku's favorite ceramic teacup suddenly cracked at one side (the first bad omen).
Kirishima was carrying a mirror to deliver to Kirika for decoration purposes when it shattered as a passing yokai ran into it without looking (the second bad omen).
Hirahara managed to fall out of the window… Actually, no. That wasn't a bad omen but Hirahara being Hirahara.
Tanizaki managed to step on a black cat's tail, making it scratch his feet for ten minutes straight (the third bad omen).
And Tagami found it impossible to fall asleep (the fourth and final bad omen).
All these signs were more or less confirmed when Saeki came home from a mission with a bucket in his hands,
"Welcome back," Kirishima greeted when he suddenly saw Saeki's face and decided to keep a low profile for a while.
Saeki smiled, albeit, in a dark way, as he walked into the house.
"I'm back," the lieutenant colonel replied. Despite the cheerful sound, there was a bit of an edge and strain in his voice, as if the cyan eyed demon was about to explode.
"Where's Kinoshita? Wasn't he with you?" Tanizaki asks as he walks out of the hallway.
Saeki chuckles a humorless chuckle. A shiver traveled down Tanizaki's spine when he heard it and the bad feeling he felt earlier was confirmed.
Saeki held the bucket out in front of him.
"He's right here," he says as blood soaked the inside of the bucket and chopped up meat was crawling all over… or at least that's what Tanizaki and Kirishima were assuming.
"Why is the bucket pixelated?!" Tanizaki exclaims in exasperation.
"I think it's for the viewers to not be grossed out by Kinoshita's insides. Plus they're moving around," Kirishima comments as he takes the bucket out of Saeki's hands that looked close to smashing the bucket.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Tanizaki questions.
"Nothing important," Kirishima replies nonchalantly as he watches Tanizaki at the corner of his eye he narrows his purple irises suspiciously.
Kirishima then jumps slightly, startled when a pixelated pink thing jumped out of the bucket and hangs over the rim of the metal container.
"What the-" Tanizaki's eyes widened in shock as the little piece of meat at the rim of the bucket morphed into… a tiny Kinoshita?
"Wah~ Did you grow taller Kirishima?" With small, vibrant green eyes and the body the size of a thumb, Kinoshita stares in astonishment at Kirishima. Not only that, he was also in commando…
Kirishima almost dropped the bucket when all the other pixelated pieces of meat also began to jump up from the bucket and all morphed into a tiny, naked Kinoshita.
"Woah! There's so many of us!"
"Saeki and Tanizaki are huge too!"
"I want to drink some sake~"
"Beer sounds good right now!"
"I'm so high off the ground! Why is the floor so far away?!"
"We're all naked!"
Saeki felt like he was about to explode. After a long afternoon of cutting and sewing together 50 something outfits for all the mini Kinoshita's running around (no one wanted to see commando little men running around the house) with the help of Kirishima and, surprisingly, Tagami (after being woken up by several mini Kinoshita's naked and jumping on him, he decided to change that scene immediately).
What's more, Saeki was sure that the house would be destroyed at this rate.
When the clothes were all put on, the mini Kinoshita's ran out of the room immediately and dispersed throughout the house.
Hirahara began chasing some of them and crashed into the wall several times, creating large, ugly holes that looked as empty as someone having no soul.
Tagami disappeared somewhere, most likely to sleep again, which wasn't helping Saeki's growing headache one bit.
Tanizaki also looked about ready to smash the miniature green-eyed demons if they didn't stop jumping on the sofa in the break room with his kanabo.
CRASH!
Nevermind, he already started to do that.
Saeki felt a headache coming on. He rubbed the temples of his head until he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he finds Kirishima holding a bag of ice in his hand.
Cyan eyes blink before softening. Saeki smiled, gave a weak 'Thank you' as he gratefully takes the bag of ice and puts it on his head. It was never often that he lost his temper but when he does, it was when Kinoshita gets drunk off his high horse (or does something insane) or when Hirahara misbehaves (or does something insane).
Saeki suddenly turns his head when he hears a clatter down in the cellar. His stomach churned and he was terrified at the sound of shattered glass and dripping liquid. He stood still, as if frozen, and stared at the cellar door in fear.
"Saeki," Kirishima calls out, calling the lieutenant colonel back to earth. Saeki looks at Kirishima who gazes into his cyan eyes with cobalt ones. "I'll go check it out. Stay here."
Kirishima then walks into the cellar and Saeki felt himself tense once more. It was five, long minutes later when Kirishima came running out with a deadly look upon his face as mini Kinoshitas ran out of the cellar - some in a drunken stumble, others as fast as they can out of Kirishima's katana's way.
Saeki's head was resting against a wall, not wanting to see the scene at all. He could hear the high pitched screams of the little men running out of the kitchen and heavy footsteps that belonged to Kirishima as he chased them.
He could smell the odor of the mixed alcohol emitting from the cellar and adding on to his headache, made him feel dizzy.
Rokkaku had been in his office talking to ten of the mini Kinoshita's. Somehow, unlike the experience that the other escorts were experiencing, he was having a pleasant chat with the ten of them at once while leisurely smoking his pipe.
When he hears a ruckus going on outside, he sets his pipe down and opens the door to see Hirahara tied up and being carried off by twenty-some Kinoshita's (give or take a few). The golden-eyed demon tried mumbling through the gag around his mouth but failed miserably as he disappeared around the corner.
He then heard Tanizaki yelling at the opposite end of the hall and swinging his kanabo around at running Kinoshita's. Rokkaku felt himself sweat at the sight and the sound and slowly closed the door to let him think about how to deal about situation further.
That was when fate changed that whole day.
When he heard a crack behind him from his desk, Rokkaku turns his head and red eyes widened in shock as he sees a broken pipe sitting on his desk with the mini Kinoshita's surrounding it with a terrified look on their faces.
The room became cold and the mini Kinoshita's hesitantly and looked at Rokkaku with shaking limbs.
With his face shadowed over, Rokkaku held an oodachi in his hands where no one knew where he pulled it out from. The dark and lethal aura emitting from the high ranking demon only made the whole house silent. The need to run away from the house crept down all the escorts' back before one, high pitched scream echoed through the halls.
Screams were heard one right after the other after that throughout the house before everything went silent for a long while.
"WAH!" Kinoshita wakes up in cold sweat, his heart beating like a bullet train.
He pants heavily and places a hand on his head and feels dread all over his body. All parts of his body were together. He didn't seem to be tiny. Rather, he was still his tall, handsome self.
"It was only a dream…"
It was dark in his room and when he peeked through the blinds of his window, the moon's light peeked through the clouds. Everything was silent other than the chirping cicadas and the small rustle of the leaves from the soft breeze.
Everything was the same and he didn't die from Rokkaku's blade.
Kinoshita sighed and turns around only to see a glowing eyes and an eerie smile right behind him.
"Ah!" the tall escort screams and walks backward, hitting his head against the window, knocking him out.
"Hahahaha!" Hirahara pulls the flashlight away from his face and laughs. He grins in success before sneakily creeps out of the room and decides on who to prank that night next.