This is a J/T based fic, a tad angsty, with spoilers for the Return P1.

Some Sunday

It was a warm Sunday morning on the mainland, not even a wisp of cloud in the sky. Teyla, accompanied by Ronon, had caught a lift in a Jumper early in the day which was taking some Earth scientists, who were going to do some "bird watching" was how they put it. It was a new concept for Teyla and she did ask why the expedition was interested n such things, but was told that this was actually a hobby, Anyway, John would've flown her out himself, but something to do with a bet, soup, his talents in the kitchen, and was it turtles, kept him back in the city this time. It sounded familiar but not quite right.

Teyla had come to talk with Halling about Jinto. John had offered to take him and a few of the other Athosian children up in a Puddle Jumper for a ride, little orbit around the planet, as a kind of birthday surprise. Halling was a bit reluctant at first but came round to the idea with some persuasion from Teyla.

Ronon was as far as Teyla knew, only there to settle a debt that he had found himself with whilst John and the others had been back on Earth. Ronon utterly incredulous at the time, thinking himself quite the skilled gambler, had lost a dice based game with Halling's cousin. The payment was to be one of his knives, grudgingly but eventually handed over. However Ronon was also asked by Sheppard just before they left, if he could see that Teyla didn't come back before 1400, he was curious but once he had agreed, the secretive Sheppard, was gone. Fortunately for him, the bird watchers or nature nerds as he had heard them called by the marines, requested to go back at that exact time too, maybe coincidence maybe not but that could wait.

After talking to Halling there were still a few hours to kill and Teyla went to talk with some of her people and to see how they were settling back in after their weeks away. Ronon had wasted more than an hour trying to win back his knife and restore some pride, when a Jumper flew low overhead and landed in a large open space recently cleared of trees but not currently being used for crops, a hundred feet or so from the settlement. It was early, he began to rise from where he was sitting, something wasn't right, and if to confirm the fact he saw one of the scientists they had earlier flown out with arriving back ahead of schedule and with some urgency. Halling had approached the pilot, it was a man who Ronon recognized, a lieutenant by the name of Blair, they spoke briefly and Halling pointed in his direction. Teyla emerged from a nearby hut, to see what all the commotion was with an elder Athosian woman close behind, and overheard the marine talking to Ronon.

"Sir, there has been an explosion back on Atlantis, all personnel; yourself and Teyla Emmagan have been recalled." Lt Blair informed him.

Ronon put on a knowing expression, his senses for good or ill, served him still. "Wraith? Replicators? What does Sheppard want us to do?"

"Sir, there are casualties, 3 dead, 12 more in the infirmary, the Colonel, well he was hit in the head by debris, I don't know his condition. Nor do we know the cause of the explosion or who was behind it, at least we didn't when i left."

Teyla when hearing that John had been caught in the explosion, his condition unknown, withdrew back toward the entrance a pace, closed her eyes, swallowed hard, tryiing to focus. She attempted to composed herself, and bad farewell to the elder woman who was called Ellenye, an old friend of Charin's. Teyla then walked over purposefully toward Ronon and the lieutenant, who had now been joined by Halling.

Ronon heard movement and turned to see Teyla walking fast in their direction. "Teyla…"

Cutting him off mid sentence and as neutral as she could make it. "Yes Ronon, I heard what the lieutenant said, are we to be returning to Atlantis immediately?"

Both looked to Blair since this was assumed but had not been touched upon in the conversation. "More or less, we're still waiting on Jameson, he is on his way back now and we'll leave as soon as he arrives, 10 minutes."

It all made her think of how since he had come back to the Pegasus Galaxy and they'd seized back Atlantis, that he and her had spent more time on the mainland than they did before he left. John was often asking after Athosian customs and traditions, and there was his kind offer for Jinto. Teyla smiled inside remembering but brought back to current events had a catch in her voice when Halling said for the third time

"Teyla? You must be going, but I would speak with you again about Jinto, when you can next return"

Teyla still distant, Ronon and Blair who ahd already begun to walk to the Jumper turned when Halling asked "Teyla, are you alright?"

"Yes, Halling, I am fine"

In case she hadn't heard. I will speak to you about Jinto and the surprise, when you next return."

"Yes of course, hopefully J…the Colonel, will be able to come and speak with you further."

They touched foreheads in farewell, and then Teyla went to catch up with Ronon and Blair who were by now nearly at the Jumper. Halling watched on as Teyla half walked half ran to the ship, wondering and with some concern, the unease and reaction to the news, it wasn't like her. He would ask another time perhaps, but not now.

Meanwhile in the Infirmary on Atlantis, John lay on a bed and had been doings so for a few hours now, a couple of stitches clearly visible above his left eye and to the passer by, either asleep or unconscious. Since being brought in from the explosion, which had occurred within the gym, although at the time Sheppard had been walking in the adjacent corridor; he had regained consciousness only once. He asked what had happened, was told they believed it to be a bomb, he then enquired about casualties. Dr Beckett told him all this and his own condition which was fortunately merely the possibility of another battle scar, and the risk of concussion.

Back on the mainland, Lt Blair sat ready to take off with Teyla in the right hand seat, Ronon and two other scientists in the rear of the cabin, however no Jameson, and it had now been nearly 30 minutes. They had made contact with Jameson to see what was keeping him, a quarter of an hour before, he had insisted he was nearly at the settlement.

As the minutes went by Teyla grew more and more frustrated, details out of the lieutenant and Atlantis were still thin on the ground, Dr Weir had not been in the control room when they radioed in, but they were told she would be contacting them shortly, away at the bomb site with Rodney and Zelenka they were told. Initially Teyla had focused on a distant ridgeline to try and take her mind off of what was worrying her, but all of a sudden grew tired of the waiting.

"Lieutenant, should we not try Jameson again?"

Blair who had been talking with one of the scientists next to an utterly silent Ronon, turned his head at the sound of Teyla's voice. "He said he would be here soon, but I could if you'd like?"

"I would , thank you." Something in her voice told Blair that first, it was a statement far more than a question and that it was going to be done; and second, that there was more then simply impatience behind it although he knew not the reason why.

"Jumper Two, to Dr Jameson, do you need any assistance?" Static answered him so he repeated and this time he got a response, there was some rustling like the radio was on the ground and then the scientist found answered.

"Sorry Lieutenant, i came across the nest of a unique species, similar but far larger than any bird native to Earth."

Teyla almost couldn't' believe what she was hearing. "Doctor, said through gritted teeth There has been an explosion back in Atlantis, this is an emergency, we have been recalled, urgently! How far from the Jumper are you, should we come to your location?"

Jameson, taken aback and he not the only one for all in the Jumper were surprised at Teyla's uncompromising and forceful tone, diplomatic though the words may have been, answered. "No, no, i am half a kilometer away, I will hurry, be with you shortly."

"Thank you, Doctor." Said with a little more warmth this time.

There was a tense silence for a moment, but it was broken by a scientist, Teyla did not know her, a new addition from the Daedalus maybe, who asked again for specifics about the explosion even though she knew the lieutenant had no more information.

"How large was the explosion?"

"I don't know, I hadn't been to the site before I was ordered here. Somebody I spoke to who has served in Iraq, said that it reminded him of an RPG going off or a small improvised device."

"The casualties, were they all military, civilian?"

"I don't have that kind of information"

"You said that Colonel Sheppard was among the casualties, how severe were the injuries suffered by him and the others?"

Teyla could not help but think about it now, and although she adopted an impassive neutral face, she wondered if it would hold.

"If you'll excuse me, i am going to go and see if the doctor is visible on thehorizon."

Ronon followed her with his eyes as she passed by them, out of the rear hatch, and out of sight. He did consider following there and then but decided to wait.

Teyla moved slightly away from the Jumper, twenty feet or so onto a low rise in the land, where she scanned the horizon but saw no-one, turning to the direction where Atlantis was located many miles distant, she closed her eyes and tried to reach across the waves with her mind, her heart, to him, who had touched her like no other ever had. Whilst John was back on Earth, she had felt more alone and empty of feeling than at any time in years, not since her father was taken by the Wraith had she felt such deep emotion. The anguish, the pain of it, she felt sick to her stomach and more than worry dragged her down, there was a great fear within her, far beyond anything that the Wraith could instill. It was a fear of something that she was not willing to consider, not yet. To walk this path without him, now, after all they had been through, and what she knew she felt for him, and was certain he felt for her but both had yet to admit to, to face it all in solitude again, it would leave her desolate. Something deep inside her, was telling her that John was okay, she wondered whether it was wishful thinking or desperation, but had to return, there was no sign of Dr Jameson. So she attempted to bury all her fears and worries at the very deepest recesses of her soul and be the strong Teyla tha people expect.

"You care for him don't you?"

Teyla spins round startled, Ronon was leaning against the Jumper, how long he had been standing there watching her Teyla did not know, she was angry that her privacy had been intruded upon.

"You shouldn't sneak up on me like that Ronon. Teyla shot back with a glare but soon calmed. "Is Jameson back yet, I must've lost track of the time?"

Ronon walks toward her and speaks a little quieter.

"Just arrived, but you didn't answer my question.."

"What question was that Ronon, my mind was far away?"

"I noticed, you've not been yourself since we heard about the explosion. I may not have been around since the beginning, and everyone knows that you two have a close bond…"

Teyla deciding that if Ronon has already guessed, it would do her good to confide in someone and jumps straight in. "Yes, i care for him, i would be lost without him, when John returned to Earth it was takes a deep breath it was as if all my happiness and hopes and dreams had gone with him.

Teyla turned away from Ronon toward Atlantis again and continued. "That was only weeks Ronon, but it felt like a lifetime, I could not carry on, I cannot lose him now.

I don't know how long i have felt this way nor does he know that i do."

"Why haven't you told him?"

"With the lives that we lead? And jeopardize all that we have now?"

"Do you not think that he feels the same for you?"

"Ronon, it's not that simple."

"Because you lead the very lives that you do, you should tell him how you feel, or he should've told you. You were not the only one who was a shadow of their former self for those six weeks from what I hear from McKay."

There was a silence where the only noise that could be heard was the wind in a nearby wood.

Although Teyla never actually uttered the one word Ronon was looking for, she had said enough and more than he had expected. All of a sudden, she spun round and covered the distance to the Jumper in an instant, Ronon was caught off guard and had to catch up.

Lieutenant Blair turned around as Teyla walked through the small cabin toward the right hand seat. He was damned curious but it wasn't his place to ask. It was his duty however to tell her the news.

"While you were gone I spoke to Dr Weir, the death toll remains at three people, and Dr Beckett is hopeful all those injured should be able to make a full recovery, in time. Colonel Sheppard, apparently suffered a head wound from falling debris and was knocked unconscious, there is a possibility of concussion also, but other than that, he is fine.

We should be back on Atlantis in just over half an hour."

Teyla could not belief the relief that she felt inside and had no doubt that if someone was to look at her, would see upon her face. A weight lifted so completely from her shoulders that she could soar into the sky like, like one of Dr Jameson's damned birds; she laughed to herself and held a smile that would light a thousand worlds touched by the Wraith. Ronon although not seeing, could sense the change in Teyla, and could only be pleased for her.

On Atlantis it was coming up on four and a half hours since what had been confirmed as a bomb, had gone off in the gym, killing two marines and one civilian. There had been nothing Dr Beckett could do for them; if it was any consolation their deaths would have been almost instantaneous, one of the marines did still have a faint pulse when Beckett and his medical teams arrived, but the injuries were too severe, the loss of blood simply immense. The scientist must've been almost right on top of it, th front of his body had been burned and shredded beyond recognition.

Presently, in the Infirmary, Beckett looked around and the horrific drama was at an end, the process of triage finally over. The worst of it being to amputate a Sergeant's left leg below the knee. He should return to Earth as soon as possible and at least three others with him, as they would require further treatment and extensive rehabilitation.

After checking on the obs of the Sergeant, offering as much of a consoling presence and advice as he could provide; he thought he had heard Colonel Sheppard say something, so excused himself for a moment and went over to his bed to check.

"No!"

John was in reality laying on a bed in the infirmary, like all the other patients, IV in his arm, monitor to one side. Something was different though, he lay, the top sheet wrapped around his hands which were formed into tight fists and he was muttering something, talking quietly, to himself, a dream, a nightmare. In his mind he was back in his office at the SGC, he was reliving part his 12th day since leaving Atlantis.

The office was spacious enough, the usual amenities, phone, computer e.t.c. and a few that he had added himself, a dart board on the far wall, a football balanced on a small tripod upon his desk. But he was pacing up and down again, he did it every day now, walking the soles out of his boots like it was going out of fashion. In his left hand he held a small piece of dark cloth or fabric, and you would've needed a sharp eye to know what it was 2 weeks ago in the Pegasus Galaxy, and to know the woman to whom it belonged, well. Fortunately for John he had both the eye and knew her well indeed, although not as well as he would like. This was partly due to him and here he was separated by galaxies from the love of his life, full of misery and regret. But he had had enough, this was going to end one way or another, no matter what it took, he was going back. It had been days and he still didn't have a viable plan but give it time he told himself. All the while opening and closing his left hand around what was in fact, a message in every sense of the word, he had seen Teyla use it to tie her hair back many times since he had known her, and on the reverse side, the gate address said enough, the simple four word message in English underneath 'Forever at your side', was almost too much and how he kicked himself ruing missed opportunities, not knowing if he would ever be able to make good such mistakes.

"Damn it! I should never have left, never have left her, and now she faces the Wraith, alone, and i'm sitting here in this office doing what? NOTHING!"

Outside in the corridor Colonel Cameron Mitchell was walking by when he thought he heard someone yell, he thought it had come from Sheppard's office and the door hadn't shut properly and, well his curiosity got the better of him, he didn't mean to pry and he was only there but a moment. Through the crack in the door he could see the recently arrived Colonel pacing up and down his office.

"I've been so stupid, goddamn it John! If the Wraith find the new Athosian planet before I can return, I'll never forgive myself."

In a fit of anger and absolute rage, at himself, life, it all, he took the football from the desk and hurled it right at the dart board, with ball rebounding violently wiping out

anything on his desk at that time. The dart board fell off the wall hitting the hard floor with a loud crash that echoed so loudly, Landry probably heard it in his office..

Outside, Mitchell had jumped back when the football flew like a missile at the wall. He decided to walk on but made a mental note to try and find out more about Sheppard's time on Atlantis. Since back on Earth, Sheppard hadn't been all that forthcoming around, well, anyone as far as he knew. The guy had a face, a front, which he put on for the job and that was what they saw.

Back in John's office, he had calmed somewhat, he noticed that the door was ajar, wondering if anyone had heard him, he checked the corridor but there was nobody to be seen, so he closed the door and went to sit behind his desk. He pulled a short narrow leather box out of a drawer and carefully opened it, within, on a velvet base, lay a gold bracelet, simply but ever so carefully designed with what John thought were hints of Athos to it, or as close on Eath as you could get. He considered getting it engraved but couldn't think what to say. He sat there just staring at it.

"I am coming back for you, Teyla Emmagan."

He didn't know who he was saying it to or why but suddenly the moment was shattered, he was no longer in his office but looking up from a bed was it, in the Infirmary, on Atlantis?

"Colonel? Colonel Sheppard? Do you know where you are?

"Doc, what's going on?" He moved his hand to where there was what felt like a terrible lump above his eye but probably near invisible to everyone else, and a pain that soon answered his questions, flashes of memory flooding back. He heard footsteps and looked over to see Teyla standing not far from the foot of the bed, with a look upon her face so full of emotion, he had to check himself and look again, Teyla smiled with her eyes for only him to see. It was, intoxicating. He could remember for an instant, the dream that had been haunting him ever since he returned, and by Beckett's expression and Teyla's gaze, he guessed that they might've heard, and sighed to himself, relieved.

For, Teyla had walked in, minus Ronon, just as Beckett was heading over to John's bed, and she heard his words, his torment, his promise, and it was all and everything that she wanted and needed to hear.

Ronon belatedly entered, he having been intercepted by Rodney and Dr Weir near the Jumper bay, Teyla must've taken a different route expecting this he now realised. He took a look at Sheppard and then at Teyla, Beckett seeing this did likewise, the physician and the Satedan shared a knowing look. Beckett and Ronon retreated into the corridor, just as John reached out and took Teyla's outstretched hand.

The End

First fic or not, i ask you to be as uncompromsing as a bullin a china shop in your criticism if it deserves it. I know that there are issues but if you don't do you can't learn, as the saying goes. Thanks