Interview Episode 1: Link, man behind the Fairy.
Note: It's late and I'm feeling a bit silly so this is meant for laughs. If this fic goes good then I'll try another one like it and interview someone else.
Bunny Girle (Me): Hi there game fans. Welcome to Interview, a new show that interviews famous game stars. And, for Our first guest, we have a surprise. Link, the great hero of time himself, is about to show up any minuet now and he has agreed to an interview with yours truly.
Link: . . . .
Bunny Girle: Great your here. Come on in and take a seat.
Link: . . . . (sits down and looks nervous.)
Bunny Girle: Lets get to it. There is one question that is burning in every persons mind and now finally you can answer it. Who do you care for?
Link:. . . .
Bunny Girle: I mean who do you love? Is is Zelda? Malon? Who?
Link: (Shifts in his seat and smiles blankly at Bunny grille.)
Bunny Girle: Right. . .(looks over to her assistant who shrugs. And looks for someone to help.) Er. . Ok how about I ask another Question?
Link:. . . .
Bunny Girle: One thing I have been ding to ask you since I've started playing the Zelda games, is How can you do it? How can you carry all of those items? You don't seem to have any space for them, is it magic?
Link:. . . .
Bunny Girle: Aren't you going to say something?
Link: (Begins to speak but in another language.)
Bunny Girle: Oh hell. (Glares at her producer.) Who forgot to get the translator? Who ever it was your ass is mine. Do you know how important this interview is?
Assistant one: (From offstage.) Sorry Bunny, we're hunting down the translator as we speak. Try to keep going. Stall for time.
Link: (Smiles and looks around fascinated by the cameras and lights.)
Bunny Girle: What? How am I suppose to do that? Get the translation devise down here. I am not kidding! (Turns red and looks into the cameras.) Sorry for the delay, but there are a few uh. . .technical problems that have come up. These things happen with . .CRASH . . (Stands up and covers her face with her hands. )
Link: (Is trying to fight one of the cameras. While the camra man is tring to hide under the snack tabel)
Bunny Girle: God, he thinks it's a monster. Can some one get me something to keep him calmed down. A sledge hammer would be nice.
Assistant 2: (Rushes on stage holding the translator. He quickly sets it up.) Your good to go.
Bunny Girle: Great, hey Link? Can you understand me?
Link: Yes, but we can talk latter there is a monster here and. . .
Bunny Girle: That's just a camera, it won't hurt you. . .that's it put the sword down. (Sighs as Link takes his seat.)
Link: This is a strange place, How exactly did I get here?
Bunny Girle: Well it's hard to explain, lets just say your here to answer some very important questions.
Link: Really? (Smiles)
Bunny Girle: As I was trying to say before. There is a question many of us game fans would like to know.
Link: What's that?
Bunny Girle: Who is the love of your life? Is it Zelda? Malon? Who?
Link: (looking a bit annoyed.) Isn't, that a bit personal?
Bunny Girle: Who cares, spill it?
Link: Well, it's defiantly not Zelda.
Bunny Girle: Why not? The princes thing do nothing for you?
Link: Are you kidding? Do you know what the royal brat did to me? Zelda got me banished from my home, the one and only place were I lived. Do you know how much apartments go for in Castel town? Not only that she nearly got me killed, and do you know what she said at the end of it all. Sorry. . .that is all she said to me. Sorry but I was to young at the time to understand the yada, yada, yada,. (Frowns and shakes his head.) You'd think she'd have something better to say. I mean I went though hell and for what? To be sent back in time where I had to live with the knowledge that Gannon was still out there in the world.
Bunny Girle: Really? Tell us more? Did you seek Gannon out?
Link: I couldn't. . .According to Zelda we had to let it all play out again. . .(grabs his head.) It is so confusing.
Bunny Girle: OK so who do you love?
Link: Well I'm not really sure? You see I'm kind of . . .shy when it comes to women. (Blushes and looks like he is thinking.) Malon is a good find of mine, and she's very pretty but. . .
Bunny Girle: But?
Link: She's a bit crazy.
Bunny Girle: How so?
Link: Well she keeps talking to horses. . .that isn't normal.
Bunny Girl: And I suppose a guy who wears a dress and hangs out with a fairy is?
Link: It's a tunic and . . .I see your point.
Bunny Girle: So Malon is the girl you prefer?
Link: Well I didn't say that. Actually I have a bit of a crush on Naboruu.
Bunny Girle: The leader of the Gurdo? Why?
Link: Have you seen her?
Bunny Girle: Hey! You mean to tell me your going on looks?
Link: Yes, what's wrong with that. Look I'm only seventeen I have plenty of time to find a true love.
Bunny Girle: I guess your right.
Link: (Stares at Bunny Girle's long ears.) Can I ask you why you have rabbit ears on your head.
Bunny Girle: No. OK so on to the next Question.
Link: But they're rabbit ears and. . .
Bunny Girle: Can we get on with this?
Link: OK.
Bunny Girle: How can you carry so many items in one tunic? I mean do you have deep pocket or what?
Link: (Looks puzzled) What do you mean?
Bunny Girle: I mean how can you carry a hammer, a sword, bombs, masks, a hook-shot, bottles and all that other stuff you used? I mean look at you, you don't have a bag so where do you put it all.
Link: Well. . . .Hey? You know what I have absolutely no Idea. Now that I think about that it's kind of weird huh?
Bunny Girle: Yes it is. Well since that question will have to remain a mystery how about we go on to our final Question?
Link: This interview wasn't very long was it?
Bunny Girle: (Glaring at her producer) Well there were some minor problems.
Link: Oh, well if it was with those monsters with the one eyes I have a lot of bombs on me.
Bunny Girle: (Looks at the cameras and then puts her head on her desk.) I can't believe this. (Lifts her head up.) Those aren't monsters. OK lets just get this over with. My final Question is about Navi.
Link: Oh her.
Bunny Girle: You sound a bit miffed.
Link: Well of course. She left me to go after the part of Tinkerbell in a Broadway rendition of Peter pan. She left me high and dry.
Bunny Girle: I wouldn't say that. Your one of the favorite game characters of all time. And not to mention a Mascot for Nintendo.
Link: Oh god don't say that. That premadonna Mario will be over here with his lawyers if you start saying I'm the mascot.
Bunny Girle: Huh?
Link: Oh and not to mention that stupid little rat Pikachu. You know the only reason I signed up for smash brothers was to kick that stupid rat around a bit.
Bunny Girle: Oook (looks nervous.) Lets take a call. (Looks around for her phone.) Who moved the damn phone?
Assistant 1: Here you go. (Sets the phone in front of her.)
Bunny Girle: Hey we actually have one. (Presses the button.) Hi, do you have a question for the Hero of time.
Voice: What the hell do you mean by calling me a premadonna you tight wearing elf?
Link: (Glares at the phone) Mario? You coward come out of that little box and face me like a man.
Mario: That is big talk coming from a guy in a dress. Hey how about I send you a matching handbag.
Link: You see I told you what he'd do?
Mario: How dare you say that this jerk is the company mascot when my game was the first one for the old 8- bit system.
Link: And it was as challenging as watching Barney with cliffnotes.
Bunny Girle: Uh we are almost out of time so I would like to thank. . .
Mario: You hack. Why don't you get out of the business.
Link: At least I don't run around the sewers chasing a big turtle. Tell me something how fast can that Bowser be.
Mario: Back of I'm warning you.
Link: Maybe you should lay off the power flowers Mario.
Mario: Ha, you stupid elf your mother was a tree.
Link: (Draws his sword and brings it down on the phone.)
Bunny Girle: (Sweat drops and then smiles into the camera.) And that is all for the first our first broadcast. Hopefully we'll have another. (Flops into her chair and looks at Link who his putting his sword away.
Link: I think that went well don't you?
Bunny Girle: Can some one send him back to Hyrule before I kill him?