Menae, 2400 Hours
"Looks like your summit just got a lot more interesting."
Elizabeth Shepard looked at Garrus before shaking her head slightly, exhaling slightly as she thought of the massive undertaking the Primarch had just requested of her – Convince the two races in the galaxy which arguably hate each other the most to fight with each other. Yeah, no problem. I'll just call wrex right now and tell him he needs to make nice and play well with the race that sterilized his people for a thousand years. I'm sure he'll be fine with that…
She turned and walked back towards the structure in which she had found Victus, returning a salute from a young Turian soldier before taking over the comm set, syncing her own headset and calling in Evac.
"Cortez, this is Shepard. We've moved a couple of clicks from our last position. Sending you the coordinates now."
"Roger that, ma'am. ETA ten minutes."
"Understood, Shepard out."
Shepard pushed back from the unit, walking back down the ramp out of the structure and turned to the left, stepping forwards as she removed her helmet, tasted the dust and metallic tang of mass effect weapons mixed with the omnipresent stench of death and wounds and the burning of a world which loomed overhead. She walked up to the ledge which over-looked the crashed Turian ship, staring at the husk of what was once a great battle vessel, a component in the strongest military fleet ever created reduced to a smoking husk devoid of life or fight. Garrus walked up besides her, matching her gaze towards the ship. When he spoke, his voice was tired, his subharmonics sounding exhausted almost to a degree that she hadn't heard since she found him on Omega. The past few hours of fighting he had sounded typically energetic, focused on his next target and the battle around him such as allowed no room for fatigue or exhaustion. But as they talked now, the past three days of fighting he had endured became apparent.
"I spoke to the Primarch, he said he'll need a few more minutes to secure his command here, do what he can to make sure we don't lose this position."
"Evac's coming in ten, he'll have until then."
A little bit of sarcasm slipped into Garrus' voice as he responded, a shadow of an old repartee thrown by the specter of a galactic scale war.
"Ordering around Primarchs now, I see?"
Shepard laughed slightly, almost bitterly as she too felt the fatigue of the past few days settle in. Since they had left Earth she had barely slept, and paused only to take a few nutrient bars to keep herself going, adrenaline and pure determination replacing her need for food and sleep as she scrambled to pick up the pieces of shattered defenses and battered militaries to face the greatest threat the Galaxy had ever known.
"Well Generals call you 'Sir' now, so I figured it's not too different…"
Garrus laughed, similarly to Shepard's in the bitterness and exhaustion, but with more cynicism, an incisive undertone resounding through his subharmonics that resented the destruction that was being wrought around him, that there was no weapon ready, no defense capable of repelling it.
"That's just a formality."
"Could have fooled Corinthus."
The two stood for heart beats, regarding the scene in front of them, eyes moving slowly from the barren landscape to the methodically marching Reaper, the sounds of its massive legs impacting the dusty ground with cataclysmic force and it's weapon being fired with eviscerating efficiency echoing through the thin air as a mild wind blew over them, the sweat on Shepard's forehead chilling with the air. She was the first to interrupt the silence, softly, her voice hoarse with dehydration, but no less lacking for emotion and earnestness.
"It's good to see you, Garrus. I didn't know… I hoped…"
Garrus interrupted, his voice low in timber and smooth in timbre, the subharmonics resonating through his chest as he spoke slowly, looking down and to his right at Shepard as he did so.
"It's good to see you too. We got a few reports from Earth before it went dark, I wasn't sure if… you know."
Shepard shook her head, laughing slightly under her breath, more a series of repeatedly emphatic exhales than any actual laugh, closing her eyes lightly and crossing her arms as she did so.
"This is going to be one hell of a war."
Garrus' reply was strangely warm, the difference in sound and tone slight but to a trained ear, the new quality encouraging, bolstering, giving no reduction or attempt at euphemism of the destruction at hand but instead a burst of confidence for Shepard's own abilities, for the war effort which she had so suddenly found herself spear-heading.
"Yeah, it sure is. But even if we don't know how to win it yet, Shepard, we'll find a way. You'll find a way. That's what you do. What we do. It's how we stopped Saren, destroyed the Collectors, and how we're going to beat these bastards or die trying."
Shepard looked to her left at Garrus, a small smile filled infinitely more with a desperate need to hope than any actual mirth or humor or happiness clinging to her face as she spoke, her green eyes meeting Garrus' blue.
"You think we'll find a way?"
Garrus turned to face her, looking down as he spoke, his voice direct, powerful, but no louder nor any harder than it had been before.
"I've had my doubts, after the battle here, sometimes it's hard to see us winning this one. But if anybody's going to do it, it's you. And I'll be right behind you, stylishly stealing all the headshots."
Shepard's eyes lit up at the joke as her smile absorbed a little bit of the dry humor which had snuck in to the end of Garrus' statement and become so apparent in his Turian-equivalent of a rye grin, her smile matching his as she turned to face him, cocking her hips out to one side.
"Last time I checked, big guy, I had the jump on you by five."
"You haven't been facing down husks for three days."
"And you weren't on Mars."
"You might have a better kill-count, but I think I've still got the headshot count."
"Wait till you have to slot a shot through a giant riot shield and then we'll talk."
As Garrus opened his mouth to respond Shepard heard a crackle of static through her ear-piece, holding up one-hand to silence Garrus as she brought her right two fingers to her ear, turning her head slightly to the left and looking down as she listened to the transmission from Cortez.
"Commander, I'm incoming, ETA twenty seconds."
She turned and looked at Garrus who simply nodded as she pivoted on her right foot, thrusting her left out as she walked towards the center of the camp, nodding at Vega, who then walked over and alerted the primarch.
"Roger that Cortez, standing by."
She and Garrus stood beside each other as they watched the small blue dot that was the Shuttle's front thrusters appear in the black sky, juxtaposed against the black planet covered in fiery red and orange blotches. Shepard turned her head to Garrus as she spoke, her eyes still fixed on the shuttle as she heard the Turian Soldiers scrambling to establish security around the landing zone.
"I'm assuming you're going to get yourself set up in the forwards battery?"
"I'm assuming there are calibrations still to be done?"
"I'll come find you, we can see who's winning."
"Deal. But come prepared to lose."
"Like hell I will."
Normandy, Forward Battery, 0800 Hours
The conversation had started off easily, a familiar cadence settling in around their comments and sarcastic replies, the bedrock of years of friendship and shared experiences holding underneath the weight of the stress and death and battle and fear which they had both experienced for the past few days. It was clear that Garrus had been throw a harrowing experience beyond anything Shepard had ever seen him after, even Omega, the shadows in his eyes going much deeper than exhaustion, reaching back to lost friends, loved ones, a planet burning around him, his voice steely and hard, not with the anger and resentment which the burning bodies and pool of cerulean blood had developed the last time they had been reunited, but rather a determination and desperate intensity which was focused solely on winning the conflict at hand.
The conversation moved quickly beyond their small greetings, promises unspoken of stories yet to be shared of the past three days, big guns and aim. Shepard was slightly startled, if not relieved, when Garrus brought up the topic of their romance, however, the subject one she had been hoping to smooth over but denying the thought, occluded by troop movements and fallen planets, war planning and unanswerable distress calls.
"But I can go out and get new ones, if it will help."
Shepard laughed again, looking up at Garrus after he had approached, seeing the familiar curve of his mandibles and angular familiarity in his facial plates. She laughed like she had before, some cross between a chuckle and a giggle, though she would deny the latter playing any part. Alliance Commanders do not chuckle, I would never do such a thing. And certainly, definitely not with a Turian such as Garrus Vakarian watching.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Garrus."
"If this war has anything to say, I may not be able to promise not to."
Shepard laughed again, a small moment of mirth before the bitter taste which had lingered in her mouth since Earth resumed its station, burning her tongue and seeping the moisture out of her throat as she felt the tightness in her chest and the buzz in her head of so many possibilities, so many voices, so many opportunities to fail. She closed her eyes gently against the influx of emotion, turning around and walking back up into the forward battery, leaving Garrus standing behind, baffled and flaring his mandibles in confusion. She made her way towards the tactical terminal Garrus had set up, the original "Technical and engineering" work station a perfect conduit for the information feeds which he needed to process, little blue circles moving around the reds, all too often getting destroyed before the entire scene went red and moved to another environment – a new planet, a new simulation, she didn't know. And it didn't matter. Too much red.
Elizabeth bowed her head, the words bitter in her voice as she spoke.
"Dammit, Garrus, you know I want to say yes. But, for once, I can't help but wonder how smart this is."
"How smart what is? Scars? Pretty terrible, especially when delivered by a rocket."
Garrus approached behind her, leaning against the terminal next to her, turning it off with a few interface pushes, silencing the small beeps in the back ground forcing Elizabeth's attention to his face. Her eyes were surprisingly wet.
"No, us. You, me… This." Shepard gestured at the space between them. "We've faced long odds before, been through plenty of battles and injuries and somehow both made it out of here alive. But… I can't guarantee we'll do that. There's too much here. Too many hostiles. This is the big one, Garrus, the fight we've trained for but haven't come close to prepared for. I don't…"
Elizabeth paused, taking a deep breath and blinking heavily as she felt the force of the stress and the fatigue and the despair and the incredible loss and suffering weigh down behind her eyes, pushing the water further onto them, threatening to assault the rest of her face. Garrus waited, patiently, having stood up and turned around, leaning his back towards the blank terminal screen, looking to his right down at Shepard as she bowed her head and collected her thoughts. By the time she looked up again, the area around her eyes was red with agitation.
"I don't know if I can lose you again. So… I guess I wonder if I want to give this screwed up galaxy the chance to take you."
Garrus spoke softly, understandingly, his voice a cushioned restatement of what he thought Shepard was saying.
"So instead you'll just distance yourself so that losing doesn't hurt?"
She nodded mutely, her mouth closed and her breaths slightly ragged through her nose as she remembered a pool of blood and a wet gasp, a fear that burrowed through her stomach as her hands became wet and warm and the medivac shuttle came too late, as the doctor operated for too long and Garrus slept too deeply, and the incredible relief and fear and every emotion mixed in one that bubbled from her face when she saw him walk through the briefing room door. Timidly, she began again, her voice crescendoing as loss and memory seeped into her neutral tones, finishing with a spent emptiness that echoed of a thousand futures she never wanted to imagine with a thousand fateful bullets.
"I lost… I lost everyone. On Akuze. And I loved some of them, like a family. They were my first unit, even before N-school. And I told myself I wouldn't let myself… wouldn't break my own heart like that again. We're soldiers, Garrus, we gamble with our lives every damn day. Attachment like that? Love? It doesn't quite fit in. And then Alenko came in and despite everything I fell for him… Well what did that get me? A crater on a planet which name I try and forget every day? And then you, Garrus, you go and practically try to kill yourself on Omega, and every damn mission afterwards, until we caught Sidonis. And then I got locked up. I lost you. You were never supposed to be the one I lost. You were… you were always going to be by my side. I've lost so much, Garrus. And I'll live with it, I've lived with it so far. Hell, I've died with it and then lived with it again. I just… I don't think I can deal with losing you. Not for good."
Garrus nodded, looking pensively towards the rest of the room while Shepard stood up, turning around to lean back against the terminal, drying her eyes and sniffling as she tried to regain her composure. Slowly, Garrus began.
"I know what you're saying, Shepard, Liz. My team, on Omega; my team on Palaven; even you, Shepard, losing all of them, all of you, hurt. Like I didn't think it could. But you know, Shepard, eventually I realized something."
He paused waiting for a response, Elizabeth raising an eyebrow as she looked towards him, her eyes still read and her nose still running but her face, for the most part, closer to the composure she was trying to will it towards.
He continued.
"Eventually, I realized that for how much I'd hate to lose you, I'd hate even more to never be with you. Or them. Any of them. I hated watching and knowing they had died so much, it almost put a bullet in Sidonis' head and will sure as hell make sure that I put a bullet in every damned Reaper I see. But I wouldn't give up the memories I have, that made it so hard to lose them, for the world. I don't think I could stand losing you, not again. But I also don't think I could, can, stand this war, not without you. If you don't want me, if you don't feel the same way, that's your call. But personally, I don't want to be anywhere but on your six."
Elizabeth looked at him for a little while, her eyes narrowing as she looked into his small, blue, unmoving ones. After a few heartbeats (eternities according to Garrus' nervous mind), she looked forwards, laughing slightly, before continuing to laugh harder and harder, Garrus joining in after the first few chuckles. Like a rubber band that had been drawn to the point of snapping and then returned the two continued to laugh until they were both grabbing their mid-sections and heartily guffawing, the tension of the past few days and of the conversation exiting them with a violently humorous reaction. After a few minutes of laughing, Elizabeth wiped her eyes of the tears her laughing had caused before looking back at Garrus, smiling for the first time since Earth with pure, actual happiness.
"You always know what to say, don't you Vakarian?"
Garrus shrugged, his mandibles wide in a Turian smile.
"Call it a talent."
Elizabeth's face sobered up as she took a deep breath, easing the pain in her stomach from the laughing and collected her thoughts, considered what she was going to say. She began slowly, though happily, her smile growing as she continued to deliver her news, and as Garrus' grew as well.
"You're right, Garrus. For how much I'd hate to lose you, I'd hate even more to never have you. This war is… hell. No other way to put it. and there's a chance, too good a chance for my liking, that we'll both be dead by the end of it. But until then? There's no-one I'd rather have behind me."
"I'm glad you think so, Shepard. Because I don't think I'd follow anybody else head-long into a war that's been brewing for 50,000 years."
They both laughed, standing and staring out into the main battery, before Shepard shifted slightly to her left. Both of their hands had fallen down between them, and as Shepard closed the distance between them, she searched his hand out with her own, not looking down. When their fingers met they grabbed each other, both still looking forwards as they sat there, side-by side, enjoying the presence and reminder thereof which was represented through the simple junction of three and five fingers.
After five minutes of companionable silence, Shepard spoke up.
"You eaten yet?"
Garrus cocked his head, looking through the bulkhead over top of him as he thought.
"No, and come to think of it I'm starving."
They both stood up, their hands leaving the other's embrace but walking a few centimeters closer as they exited the battery and made their way down the front hallway, watching as the Alpha shift crew-men began ot leave their breakfast table to go assume their posts.
"So, you're telling me you're calibrating on an empty stomach?"
Garrus walked behind the island, bending down to get food out of the special dextro locker which had since been stocked by a small Turian supply shuttle, pulling out an ever-appetizing package of "Emergency Ration #25b", turning his head over his right shoulder as he spoke.
"I believe the phrase is 'Art waits for no Turian.' "
Shepard likewise walked to the Human fridge, retrieving a cold plate of "Ration Pack 37i" which had been abandoned in favor of a call from Admiral Hackett regarding small-flotilla tactical doctrine, placing it inside the re-heating unit besides Garrus', standing closely beside him to the aft of the machine.
"I didn't know you had art?"
"We do, it's called calibrating."
The re-heater beeped a pleasant announcement that their food was done.
"Uh huh."
They reached for their food and took a seat.
Author's Notes
So, I don't mean to play favorites, but oh my goodness this was so much easier to write than anything my last Shakarian attempt put out. Elizabeth writes so much easier than Kathryn, and the entire thing flowed much more like what I write for John than Kat. Sorry for changing the Garrus-Shepard reunion scene in the forwards battery, I try not to change game dialogue too often, but what the game had by default just didn't seem to fit the characters and, what's the phrase: "We can fix anything with fanfiction!"
Either way, I would love to get some comments and feedback, as always. Or suggestions. Suggestions are always great and I don't get a lot. So, please, send me them! Even just headcanons (I love headcanons, I have multiple notes on my phone of just headcanons).
Regardless, enjoy!
SotS