Noteworthy, a death note fanfic

(NOTE): I am in SO much trouble with the audience of my other stories, but this plot wouldn't leave me alone. It's a one-shot that's a lot bolder than my other stories, but I hope it's nothing TOO disturbing. I know this says Mikami/Light, but it's not exactly a romance...oh you'll see.

Disclaimer: Star light, star bright, first star I see...yeah right, if only. Alas, I don't own Death Note.

Warning: This does have a yoai lime in it! My first attempt actually, so it's not really good. Please though, do not count this as porn/smut! There was a basic point to this, you'll find out at the end. And some of the events may not make sense and the characters might be OOC, but...just go with it.

My entire life has been dedicated to the greater good and my very existence serves as a conductor for the god of justice himself to carry out his divine work. As proof of my devotion, I gave up half of my life in order to help my god, a small price to pay as I would gladly give up my soul in the effort to see Lord Kira's work through. Who knows, perhaps my soul is forfeit regardless. But it doesn't matter: one soul for the sake of millions. It is hardly a fair trade, yet it works completely in justice's best interests.

In Kira's favor.

I am his chosen, his tool, his slave. I am the one he can truly call Friend.

Disciple.

Beloved.

Yet the latter, the title which I would hold dearest above all else, somehow eludes me. I try so hard to surmise the reason for this, it should be completely understandable why Kira would refuse to accept me, a lowly mortal, as the object of his affection. Blatantly obvious as a matter of fact.

But no.

Had my mortal insignificance, other than being Kira's most faithful instrument, been the only reason for my suffering, then I could comprehend why Kira my god holds no such affinity for me. It is due rather to a certain distraction, one that refuses to go away, and one that I suspect Lord Kira has no wish to let go.

What is even more annoying that this distraction cannot serve Kira in any way that his most faithful can. He has that whore, Amane, with which to satisfy his carnal pleasure, and dear sensible Takada can quench his desire for intelligent conversation (and perhaps sometimes lend him her own body when he tires of that bubbly blonde's) and even if she replaced me as Lord Kira's main instrument, it is only temporary.

I, Teru Mikami, can fulfill his ultimate desire of experiencing a world of peace with the simple combination of my eyes, a pen, and the Death Note.

Clearly, I am more important than either of his two wenches; I can give Kira what he wants most. And should he wish for logical discussions, I could certainly give him that.

And physical pleasure? That I would give, and receive, more than willingly!

It is in fact, apart from seeing justice be served, what I desire more than anything! But even with those two bitches out of the way, it is unlikely that Lord Kira would accept such an offer. Not so much because I believe he prefers women to men.

Oh no, I know that is not the case.

...

It it because of him that Lord Kira will not privilege another man with the experience of a place so heavenly as his bed.

That demon who Lord Kira still fears above all others, as if his damned ghost follows every divine step my god takes. An unholy spirit that Lord Kira both loathes and lusts after. The only man that has come so very close to defeating my god.

L Lawliet.

Yes, I know his name. Every since I first joined with Lord Kira, I searched and probed through every article of information I could about Lord Kira's former Enemy No 1. With the help of a sketch artist, I was able to finally filter enough of a description out of Amane to acquire a basic, but detailed outline of L Lawliet's appearance. I planned for it to be a gift for my god as soon as we defeat his newest threat, that blasted N character, hoping he would smile in thanks and burn the picture in order to symbolize L's defeat.

But from what I have observed, Lord Kira instead could very well keep the picture and, to be perfectly blunt, jerk off while holding it in his grasp.

Just the thought of that makes me want to burn the picture myself.

As I hold the picture now, at my desk in my secluded corner, I can hear the delicate paper crinkle as I look at the depiction of the former L's face.

The wild mass of raven hair surrounding an angular and pale, almost alabaster face. Two empty, but curious obsidian eyes that seemed to be calculating still through the detailed pencil drawing stared back at me through silky black bangs. His index finger, as white and artistic as the other visible digits, caressed over a pair of lips that, from what I have heard, were more than likely laden with the latent residue of some kind of sugary delicacy. The only flaw he had, from what I could see from a mere drawing of just his face, were two bruise-like bags underneath his eyes that indicated insomnia...and little to no sunlight.

He looked, as hard as it is for me to admit, breathtaking. He certainly was no Adonis and did not have a sacrosanct appearance like my god Kira, but he clearly possessed a certain kind of beauty that screamed...untouchable.

Even the sun could not touch him; Light could not touch him. He lived in darkness, where light could not follow. Which would explain my god's useless but desperate obsession.

I took off my glasses to get a better look, fruitlessly hoping that the image would somehow be disfigured...but alas, the same defined face coldly stared back, almost mocking me. I could feel my fingers were just about ready to tear the paper apart, willing my mind to believe this face of dark, captivating beauty was merely human error; Amane probably over romanticized Lawliet's description and the imbecile artist must have taken a substantial amount of creative license with his work.

Yes...yes, that must be it...

"What's this, Mikami?"

I jumped at the voice as I swirled around to come face to face with my god himself!

Rarely would Lord Kira ever visit me, he must be taking a stroll out in public for appearance's sake. Which means his date, either Amane or Takada, was around somewhere. But I couldn't see either female anywhere around now, all I could see was the face of my beloved deity...staring inquisitively down at the drawing in my hands.

I was taken so off guard and was so mesmerized by the sight of him, that I hardly noticed as Lord Kira gently but firmly grasped the sheet and the paper slowly slipped through my fingers.

Time seemed to slow as I carefully observed my god's face as his dark russet orbs looked over the drawing. He was trying his best to hide his true expressions, I could tell, but I heard his breath speed up more and more quickly as he scanned every detail of the picture. Whether it was from anger or excitement I could not tell; I could only watch helplessly and wait for my god to say something.

My heart thumped wildly against my chest, so painfully that I nearly began to fear that Lord Kira had somehow quickly reached over me and written my own name down in the notebook without my noticing. I forced myself to stay calm as the seconds ticked by.

Tick Tock

Finally, Lord Kira looked back at me, his expression still unreadable, but fortunately his breathing was back to normal, an indication that he was calm.

"As I asked before, Mikami," he held up the drawing to me and pointed to the face on the paper "what is this?"

I forced myself to hold back a gulp and tried to remain cool as I answered "A gift, my god. I was planning to give it to you on the day we defeat N, as a tribute to your success. It was my hope that it would please you to watch it burn."

My god raised a delicate eyebrow "Burn? So I assume, you know who this is?" I nodded "Interesting. I wasn't aware that there were any pictures of him."

"There weren't, my Lord." I said, remaining collected "I had it drawn especially for you with the assistance of a sketch artist...and Miss Amane." It wounded my pride deeply to inform my Lord that the bitch had a hand in my gift, but it would be wrong of me to keep secrets from him, so it had to be done.

There was another pregnant pause as Lord Kira turned the picture back around and stared at the drawing again. He spoke as his eyes lifted back to me, his voice soft and almost soothing "You really are something, Mikami, going to all this trouble for me."

I immediately opened my mouth in order to tell him it was no trouble but a pleasure to do this for him, but I was silence as he placed a thin finger to my lips. I was practically quivering as the holy digit slid lightly down to my chin and traced over my jaw.

"You poor thing, you try so hard to please me, don't you? Well," I held my breath as my god leaned closer and whispered softly into my ear, his sacred breath warm against my eager skin "come into my room tonight, and I will show you how you can please me more than anyone." I could feel the heat build up between my thighs as he said those beautiful words to me and my frantic heart stilled and melted at his suggestion.

"Yes, god." I practically sighed before Lord Kira straightened and discreetly slipped something into my shirt pocket. My skin began to swelter at the very light pressure of his touch and it was only when he gave me a small nod as he turned and walked off that I could relax my muscles that I hadn't even realized I had been tensing.

I sank back into my chair, trying to contain my happiness, as I turned back to the notebook lying in front of me. Lord Kira, my god, had just requested that I come to his bedroom and had undoubtedly slipped the information of his whereabouts for tonight into the pocket next to my heart. It didn't even bother me at the moment that he had taken the damned pictured of L with him...

OoOoOoOo

I checked over the address for what must have been the thousandth time as the cab dropped me off at some obscure, but still presentable hotel. No doubt Lord Kira had made some clever excuse to pardon himself from any other business he might have had that night.

And all to spend time with me!

I could swear my skin still felt raw from all the scrubbing I had done when I had gotten ready for tonight. I had unwisely opened the note at the end of my work hours, when I had just gotten home, and noticed that by that time, I only had two hours in which to get ready and reach my destination. The hotel that my god had chosen was at least forty-five minutes away from where I was and I had to take traffic into account, so all I could manage while getting ready was a quick scrubbing in the bathroom and a speedy brush of my teeth and hair.

The only other thing I changed about my appearance was my tie, I took it off figuring, hoping, that I would have no real need of it.

As I waited in the cab, I attempted to read a magazine, but I was too anxious to even make out any of the words. Not that my excitement showed, of course; I didn't want to look like a desperate, needy fool in front of my god. Outside I was calm, but inside, I was ecstatic!

I stood as calmly as I could while the elevator brought me to the fourth floor and I continued gracefully to room 418, where my god would be waiting. I straightened my jacket and brushed a hand through my hair one last time before I knocked six times, paused, then twice more like the note had said.

"Come in, Mikami." I heard my god say, and I held my breath as I opened the door and entered.

The room was completely dark, save from the lights of the city illuminating through the large window at the back of the room. On one side, there was a door that no doubt led to a bathroom.

Off to the other side, there was a bed still in its pristine, undisturbed condition as if it hadn't been touched since the moment the worker who had made it up had left. To the right of the bed there was a small side table with what looked to be a lamp on top, and though it was hard to tell in the shadows, I knew that it more then likely had a drawer or two.

And to the left of the bed, in front of the window, I saw a dark figure seated calmly at a table, sitting perfectly straight and majestic, although I could see that he was writing something. As I opened the door a little wider, a sliver of light from the hallway fell upon the figure's face which cause him to look up.

My breath caught in my throat as I caught the beautiful face of my god! His lips curved into almost a smile as he raised an elegant hand and motioned me forward.

"Lock the door behind you, Mikami. You can take off your jacket and leave on the hanger. It's on the wall to your left."

Trying so hard not to nod like an ardent idiot, I did as Lord Kira commanded and widened my eyes through my glasses to see my god better in the dark.

I didn't dare ask if I should turn the lights on, out of fear that I would displease him; I trod as quietly as I could toward my holy idol, stopping as I reached his side, and waited patiently as he stared at me with his beautiful sepia eyes. I felt a twinge of disappointment when he finally took his eyes off me and brought them back down to the paper he had been writing on...which turned out to be my gift.

I saw that Lord Kira had actually been tracing over the sketch, filling in the light pencil drawing with darker ink. I could see that he had finished with the hair and shoulders completely and was just beginning with the eyes.

I forced myself to take this as a good sign. This was my god's subtle and humble way of accepting my gift to him, I just knew it!

"It really is an amazing likeness." my god said as he picked his pen back up and ran it over the outline of the black eyes in the picture "I'm surprised at how much information you must have gotten out of Misa in order to have this done so perfectly. You're talents are truly...noteworthy."

Pride burst into my chest as I caught the double meaning in his words and I couldn't help but beam.

I suppose I looked like a fool, grinning like that, but luckily Lord Kira's eyes were still on the paper, in deep concentration as he continued to color in his dead rival's ebony eyes. I stayed quiet, listening to my blood pump speedily through my veins, as he finished with the eyes (including those ugly bags) and quickly moved on to the nose, then the lips, and then finally the fingers that were positioned so close to the mouth.

At last, the drawing was finished, and my god gracefully placed the pen down in between his two hands and looked back up at me.

The light from the window behind was barely shining on his face, but even in the shadows his entire being glowed with something sublime, a radiance so bright and stunning that I had a undeniable urge to fall to my knees before him.

Which is exactly what I did when he reached out a hand to touch my face.

His hand remained on my cheek as I sank to the ground, gaping in awe and not once taking my eyes off his. He chuckled, softly and briefly, at my actions and I knew that he was pleased! I could feel my skin flush as he gracefully reached up his other hand and removed the glasses from my eyes, using his middle and index fingers like chopsticks to do so.

He placed the spectacles on the table and my breath heaved as he cupped his blessed hands around my whole face and stared deeply into my unworthy eyes, his gaze so passionate and intense as if he was looking into my very soul. My gape became an elated open mouthed smile and I felt tears come into my eyes, no longer caring about my appearance.

My god...my beloved, holy, perfect idol, was touching me with his own hands! The picture that I had dread giving him had proved to be very rewarding indeed! He looked at me with such gratitude, such thanks!

I could feel fervent warmth spread through my body and pool between my legs at his very touch and marveled at him. So gorgeous, so bright...

...so good!

Noticing my tears, my god brought a thumb underneath each eye and wiped the moisture away. His small grin grew a little wider when he removed his thumbs and he started to slowly lean toward me.

My eyes widened even more as I realized his intentions, which seemed to urge my god even further. My heart was once again thumping furiously against my ribs, but this time out of excitement rather than anxiety, and my hands clenched at the carpet beneath me as his lips ever so softly descended on mine.

He kissed me gently at first, then again and again and again becoming more and more passionate with his kisses. My mind went into a delicious haze as my god's hands slid away from my face and started gripping my hair, his fingers massaging against my scalp. I could feel my pants tighten against my crotch, but even this discomfort could not break my out of my heavenly state.

This wonderful being was kissing me, now demanded access into my mouth with his holy tongue, and I was more than happy to oblige. As I parted my lips for him, he dove his tongue inside and started to explore the cavern of my mouth as if he had been waiting all his life to do this. I avidly battled my tongue against his, giving all my awareness to the effort of letting him win.

A guttural moan vibrated in my throat, and I couldn't help it when I lifted my hands up and grabbed onto his arms as if I was holding on to dear life.

Suddenly, a burst of white pain shot through my head and I grimaced as my eyes shut; I began to see pale stars evading my vision. My hands left Lord Kira's arms and gripped at his hands that were tightly fisted in my hair and pulling upwards against my scalp. Through the agony, I felt myself being lifted back up to my feet and made to stand perfectly still.

My lord had apparently stood up himself and made me follow by using my hair as a handle. I tired to open my eyes to see my god's expression, worried if I had upset him somehow.

But he was grinning with absolute delight, his eyes flashing through the darkness.

"Wider." he breathed "Open your eyes wider. Let me see emotion in those dark depths."

Pain immediately turned into hot pleasure as I noticed he was enjoying this!

Blindly giving into the searing ache, I complied and opened my eyes as widely as I could. It took all I had to keep my eyes open as I noticed the mirth it gave my holy deity...but it proved very easy when one hand left my hair and powerfully cupped my heated groin. I gasped at the sensation and both he and I started to pant arduously at the the touch, our breaths almost in sync.

"Your eyes," he breathed "they have...so much expression...oh yes. I knew it from the moment I saw you. You...you're perfect!"

I could hardly believe this! The thing for which I had ached and pined for so long was actually happening! My member began to throb and pulse at my god's, my master's, clutching touch and sweat began to pour out of my skin.

"Thank you." I moaned deeply, no longer able to keep my eyes open as I gave into the heavenly sensations "Thank you so much. My god! My master!"

"Yes, that's it!" my lord said as he moved my backwards, closer to his bed "Thank me! Beg for me! Show me your appreciation!"

I hardly had time to whimper as Lord Kira's hands left my hair and crotch before he threw me onto the bed. With a grunt, I landed harshly on my back and willed myself to stay dormant as Lord Kira climbed over me, a knee on either side of my hips, and my god started to tear at my black shirt.

"Say you want this!"

I could hear the fabric ripping.

"I want this!" I said softly.

My shirt was torn open and I shivered as cold air met my sweat covered chest...but that did little to relieve the the pain in my aching member. Lord Kira continued to tug the shirt away from my arms and didn't stop until the material was completely discarded onto the floor.

"Again." he said, running his fingertips so lightly down my chest.

"I want this!" I said again, louder this time.

Warm, wonderful hands gripped either side of my waist and I felt heated divine breath on my stomach. My beloved was here, touching me, and all his thoughts were on me!

"Beg me." he demanded "Beg me for more."

I gasped as a slick tongue delicately dug into my naval, while soothing fingers caressed my sides.

"M-more!" I managed out "Please! More!"

I heard Lord Kira chuckle softly at my pleas. His hands left my sides and were placed instead on my shoulders. My eyes opened when I felt his breath on my face; sure enough, there he was staring at me and grinning triumphantly. Then suddenly he squinted in displeasure.

"Wider, my pet." he warned "Eyes wider."

At once I obeyed him, relieved to see the satisfaction return to his eyes. He then raised his hands up to the opening at his neck and began unbuttoning his own shirt.

"Place your arms above you." he said, finishing with the buttons "And keep them there. Grip the sheets if you must, but do not move your arms." I did so just as my god slipped gracefully out of his shirt, revealing his glorious body to me. I watched his every move with wide eyes as he leaned back down to my chest, gripping each side with his hands.

"Good." he whispered against my flesh. I shivered with delight as his lips lightly danced over my chest and I groaned at his teasing. I lifted my head as his mouth traveled up to my neck and he sucked tenderly at the sweltering skin. The sucking turned into gentle kisses, which made their way down my entire torso until they reached the hem of my pants.

I tried so hard to to keep my arms above my head, clutching tightly at the sheets like Lord Kira had instructed, as I felt him begin to fiddle with my belt. I was gasping and moaning freely now, uttering "Master! Master! Master!" over and over again like a mantra.

My pants were so unbelievably tight, my sore member begged to be released!

...

But suddenly, he stopped. Just as he had flung aside my belt and started to unbutton my pants, he stopped. Simpy ceased in his actions.

My heart filled with terror and I whimpered in fear and at the discomfort and pain at my crotch.

Why why why had he stopped?!

What did I do wrong?!

My arms were still high above my head and my eyes, though he couldn't see them, were still wide open. Had it been my moaning that had angered him?!

"M-master I'm sorry!" I begged "F-forgive me if I have done a-anything to..."

"Deficient."

...

"W-what?"

My god lifted himself back off me and looked back into my eyes. I could see no anger there, more like...disappointment? I could see a glimmer of what seemed to be regret in his piercing eyes.

"Not enough." he whispered, more to himself than me.

Not enough?! Should I have actually moaned more?! Begged more?! Stretched my arms higher?!

"Please." I begged him "What is it you want? Name it, and I'll do it!" He looked at me, as if considering my offer. For what seemed like an hour he just sat there...until he finally spoke.

"Your face and your hair," he said, gripping my chin with his hand "that's all. But your scent, your texture, your voice..." he shook his head and sighed as he swiftly lifted a leg from around me and let go of my face.

Lord Kira removed himself from the bed and picked up his shirt from the floor. I immediately lifted myself to lean on my arms and felt my heart sting at his words.

"I'm deficient?!" I asked, sounding absolutely pathetic. I was immediately depressed; it was like I had been hit in the stomach with a boulder.

Of course I was deficient. I, a filthy mortal, could never match up to such a perfect, pure being as Lord Kira.

How could I be so stupid?

As Lord Kira slipped his shirt back on, he turned to me and offered a smile that was close to sympathetic.

"Don't get me wrong, Mikami." he said, slipping each button back into place "You are still my chosen; my favorite in fact. But...there are just some things that not even you can accomplish for me."

With that, my god lifted up his jacket, which he had slung across the chair at the table, and gently picked up the precious gift I had given him. He strode over to where I still was lying shocked and dismayed, and placed a final gentle kiss on my lips.

"You are precious to me, Mikami." he said, giving me a tiny grin "Never forget that. I could never accomplish my ultimate goal without you." Those words gave me a small glimmer of hope and I forced myself to smile back.

"Thank you, my god." I said.

Lord Kira gave a small nod and made his way toward the door.

"The room was rented for the night and tomorrow morning, so you can stay here tonight." he called as he unlocked the door. He turned to look back at me one last time and nodded down at the clear bulge that still throbbed beneath the material "I suggest a cold shower to take care of that. I truly am sorry."

"What about you, my god?" I asked before he could shut the door "Do you not require to be relieved also?"

My god just gave me a smile and said "Believe me, thanks to you I think I can manage it on my own" before the door clicked behind him.

To say I wasn't crushed would be an extreme understatement, but the assurance of my importance and the strange last comment he made somewhat comforted me. Besides, I could remember all the compliments he had given me in our brief moment of passion...perfect, my pet, good...words that I had thought I would never hear from my beloved god...and he had said them to me!

Keeping these thoughts in mind, and trying to ignore my cramped member, I slid off the bed and made my way to the bathroom. I turned the lights on after I opened the door and quickly reached to the bath faucet, switched on the shower, and turned the water to freezing.

As I hurriedly unbuttoned my pants, I quickly glanced in the mirror, more out of habit than anything.

...

But as quickly as my eyes left my reflection, they returned to stare in shock at the dumbfounded face that was staring back at me. What I saw made my heart shatter like glass into a million tiny pieces. The face, pale and wide-eyed and surrounded by frenzied black locks, was familiar...but it wasn't mine.

My thoughts went back to the start of the evening, when Lord Kira had been drawing over the picture of that damned Lawliet, and flashed forward to the moment when my god had wiped my tears away from underneath my eyes. He had kept the room dark; my eyes had been completely dilated, black.

I sank to the ground in despair, my sorrowful eyes never leaving the face in front of me.

You are precious to me, Mikami. You are precious to me, Mikami.

That was repeated in my head...as constant and strong as the sound of the running water behind me...as a firm consolation... as I watched fresh tears dribble out my eyes and smudge the cursed black ink down my cheeks.

(NOTE): I hope you understood it! Like I said, the lime is probably nothing remarkable, but it is my first time and I do not think I could ever bring myself to write extremely explicit stuff. Sorry for any mistakes, if I catch any I'll correct them!!

BTW: 'Noteworthy.' Pun intended and proud of it :D! And I also thought the ink was rather symbolic for Mikami.

If you understood everything okay, please review!

BUT: If you are really confused, it was basically about this: Mikami desperately wants Kira's attention, but he thinks Kira is infatuated with L. For Mikami, it's about lust and affection and a desire to prove his devotion to his god.

But for Kira, it is really more about dominance over L. When Kira had finished tracing over L's picture and had distracted (hypnotized) Mikami with his gaze, he secretly smeared ink onto his thumbs. He smudged the ink underneath Mikami's eyes when he wiped the tears away and told Mikami to open his eyes wide so that his face looked more like L's (the rest of the ink was wiped off in Mikami's hair). Plus since the room was dark, Mikami's eyes would have been dilated and looked completely black, more like L's. He told Mikami to keep his arms above his head to give the appearance of helplessness.

But in the end, Kira couldn't carry through because he realized that Mikami wasn't his rival L, just a willing pawn.

And that last comment he made, basically it just meant that he could continue his little fantasy with Mikami's gift, the picture, at least in his imagination.

One last thing, you'll notice I never capitalized 'god.' Because god (idol) and God (THE God) are not the same things to me ;).