Just started watching Girls, wanted to write about it. Please go easy on this, I've only seen the first season. This takes place before the show, and it sort of leads up to Adam meeting Hannah. This focused mainly on his AA status, and helping with relapses and stuff like that. This is just a one shot by the way, please enjoy!
"She got mad at me again. I don't know why."
"You have no idea, none at all?"
"Nope."
They faced each other, she had her head supported with a fist and he was slouching into his chair. It was another quiet day in her cafe, and The Labyrinth was bathed in its usual amber tone. Adam stared into the dregs of his coffee and sighed. "She just never asks about me, or anything. She walks in, jumps my bones and leaves." His temper was rising. "Ava, she just doesn't want to know me!" Ava raised an eyebrow, "What do you know about her?" That seemed to stop him in his tracks.
"A lot more than she does about me." Ava frowned, and filled his cup again. Neither would really be sure how their relationship started. He walked in one day, looking rather kicked-puppy like, and Ava used her rusty bartender skills to find out what was wrong. He'd been a college student then and it'd been a breakup with his girlfriend. Since then, Adam often found himself going to her when things got rough, when he needed advice or when he felt like a relapse. The last one was uncommon, and he didn't know why he did it. She had this skill where she could talk anyone off a cliff. She'd done it for him many times. When Adam, in a drunken stupor asked why she gave a damn about him, she'd replied with a simple "To make up for what I never did before." Either he'd forgotten about that exchange, or just never brought it up.
"So, she was irrationally mad?"
"Yeah."
Ava's forehead crinkled in thought, "Are you absolutely sure you said nothing to piss her off? You didn't do anything, or say anything?"
Adam traced the water mark of the water pitcher on the counter, silent. "Be back in a sec, think about that, okay?" Ava went to help a customer, leaving Adam in the corner. "Vanilla bean frappuccino please." Ava gave the customer a smile, "Sure thing!" As the machine whirred and Ava poured whipped cream on the drink, the customer said "Adam?" He turned around, and gave Ava a panicked look, that just screamed 'Get her away from me.' Ava gave him a nearly unseeable nod. "Sorry, no, that's my brother. He's really shy, I'd leave him alone." The woman gave Ava a confused look, but accepted her drink and paid. "Come back soon!" Ava cheerfully called after her.
"So?" Ava asked, picking up her own mug of tea. "Adam?" he seemed to be lost in thought. "Adam?" His head suddenly came up. "Yeah, I didn't do anything. She just never asks anything! It's like I'm just a body for her, just someone she can go to whenever she's sad, or feeling anything she's not used to. She just goes to me to get fucked!" Ava seemed taken aback with his language, it was the first time he'd sworn like that in front of her. "Jesus, I'm sorry. Jesus fucking christ I'm sorry." Ava placed a comforting hand on his arm. "It's okay Adam. But, how was the rest of your day? Read any good books?"
The next day (an unusual act, he normally waited several days, not wanting to "disturb" her) Adam stumbled in, just before closing time. Ava was wiping down the counter, humming softly. Ava gave him a pained look, recognizing breakdown signs. A little while into their friendship, Ava told him if he ever relapsed, or felt like relapsing to go the cafe or her apartment. Judging from the smell, thumping footsteps, and slurred speech there was a relapse on a major scale. "Oh, Adam." Ava said, giving him a sad look. She grabbed his arm and manhandled him into a chair. She spit into her hand and slapped him. "What the fuck?" He shouted. Ava sighed, crossing her arms.
"Oh shit, am I gonna get whipped?" He said, head rolling backwards, laughing at himself. Ava gave him a look and grabbed the collar of his shirt. "10 months, Adam! 10 months clean!" She hoisted his head back up, "10 months!"
"What?" He shouted, "What are you gonna do? Hate me? Hit me? Refuse to see me? News flash, I don't need you! I can be happy with my life, you're a-" He stopped, and for a minute, Ava hoped he gathered himself together. "A parasite! A fucking parasite on my life!" Ava clenched her jaw. There was silence. "Are you done?" Ava asked. He nodded, looking rather ashamed. If the situation wasn't so dire, she probably would have laughed at the childishness of the action. Ava took a deep breath, before sighing and grabbing his arm. "C'mon. You're going to my house." He consented to be dragged to a cab, and then into her apartment.
He collapsed on her sofa, his head falling into his hands. As Ava had said, 10 months clean and he'd wrecked it. Ruined his progress. Ava put a hand on his shoulder followed by a damp washcloth on his forehead. "You'll be okay. It'll be okay." He sighed, not believing a word she said. Ava sat next to him, holding a glass of water to his mouth. "Hey now, just try to relax. How much did you have?" Adam groaned, "Too much." Ava raised an eyebrow, "How helpful that you're being specific." Ava gave one last sigh and lowered the nearly comatose man onto the couch. She threw a blanket over him and brushed some hair out of his face.
Ava woke the next morning to the sound of Adam vomiting in her bathroom. She swallowed her want to say "I told you so" and went into the bathroom. The sight was awful. He was bent nearly double over the porcelain bowl, dumping out what was probably his last 3 meals. Ava rubbed his back, desperately trying to help him dump the alcohol from his system. Several minutes later, he fell back on his heels looking absolutely wrecked. "C'mon, up and at 'em." Ava helping him stand and dragged him to the guest room. Originally it was her sister's room, but she'd moved out and was still paying off rent. Adam fell onto the bed, and Ava sent him a fond smile. "Oh Adam." She muttered. "What on earth am I going to do with you?" He threw an arm over his face, "Get me some water or a breath mint maybe?" He muttered into his arm. She chuckled and got up to get a glass. When she got back, she realized how messed up he was.
His face was sickly pale in the direct sunlight from the window, and his body was shaking. Ava lifted the glass to his lips and let him drink before shifting to sit next to him on the bed. "What happened." It was a statement he couldn't get around. Adam hated showing up at her place wasted, he hated the worried look he got weeks after, he hated the whole feeling of being like this. "I'm so messed up Ava. Why am I like this?" Ava shushed him and said "We are the variable of our circumstances and choices. Adam, you're like this because you want to be." If he could've, Adam would've sat bolt upright. "But I don't! I hate this feeling! I hate relying on you to do things I should be able to do for myself, I should be able to stop drinking, but I can't so you break the habit for me! But then I go throw it into your face!" Ava grabbed his shoulders. "Calm down, I do this because I want to." Adam sent her a disbelieving look, "I want to help you because I'm your friend."
"Why?" He demanded, "To make up for someone else? Am I just someone to fill a hole in your life?"
"No, Adam, no, never."
"That's what you told me! You said that you helped me to make up for things you didn't do! Is that why you're helping me?"
"You remember that?" Ava demanded, "You remembered that instead of anything else I told you when you were drunk?"
"What else have you told me when I was drunk? Did you fucking admit to me that I was a placeholder for something missing?"
Ava looked pained. "No." She said softly. "Adam-" Ava stopped herself. Not sure how to proceed in this vein of conversation. Out of habit, she twisted the ring on her index finger. "I do this because…" She trailed off again. Adam stared patiently at her, waiting with a tick in his jaw for her answer. "I do this because I… care about you."
Adam raised an eyebrow in shock, "You care about me? I think I got that from how much you take care of me. Even when I fucking insult and ignore you." Ava bit her lip and twisted the ring again. "I don't care about you in that way." Adam was quickly gathering where this was going. He fumbled for the breath mint, realizing that she probably wasn't enjoying getting vomit-smelling breath blown into her face. He chewed it while Ava watched his face for reaction to her statement, her blue eyes flitting from side to side. Adam felt his anger slowly dying down, the heat in his face falling away back into his normal skin tone. Adam finally broke the silence, "So, you love me?"
Ava pursed her lips, "Yes."
"And that's why you help me?"
"Yes."
"No other reason?"
"Other than the fact that I lost my mother to alcoholism? And that's why I first helped you? No."
Adam ignored the fact that this was new news, even though normally he would've jumped on the possibility to glean something new about why she helped him and put up with him. "You help me because you love me, and because your mom died because of booze?" Ava couldn't help but send him a tiny glare for lack of tact, but responded nonetheless "Basically, yeah." Adam was silent, letting the mint fall across his tongue.
Adam looked into his heart, trying to figure out how exactly he felt about Ava. There was definitely friendship there, then a warm feeling spread through him as he thought about her. It was something he'd never really dug up, never looking past their friendship. He didn't know if it was love, but it was something more than friendship. Adam looked at her, Ava's cheeks were flushed at his silence, nervousness filling her. He didn't know how to show this, newish feeling. Even as he thought about it, calling it a 'new feeling' just sort of felt so cheesy.
"Adam?" Ava said, waiting with baited breath for his response. Adam said nothing, he simply reached out and pulled her into a huge hug. "Thank you." He whispered into her shoulder. Surprised at the sudden emotion, Ava rubbed his back. Bringing one more surprise, Adam kissed her shoulder. Her eyes widened, and her head fell forward onto his shoulder. "Adam." She said softly, not sure what exactly he was doing. "Ava." He said in the same tone, pressing another kiss to her shoulder, newly bared with the sliding of her shirt sleeve. "Ava, stop picking up my pieces." Ava's eyes crinkled at the top, tears briefly forming in the corners. "No." She whispered "I'll never stop trying to save you."
