Old Suika was hopping around Gensokyo like a big playground

When suddenly Reimu burst from the shade and hit Suika with a Yin-Yang Ball

Suika got pissed and began to attack but didn't expect to be blocked by Nue, who proceeded to open up a can of Nue Fu

When Flandre Scarlet came out of the blue

And she started beating up Nue Houjuu

Then they both got flattened by the frickin' train but before it could make it back to the big gap

Rikako Asakura popped out of her grave and took an AK-47 out from under her coat and blew Reimu away with a rat-a-tat-tat

but she ran out of bullets and she ran away because OMG Ruukoto came to save the day

this is the Ultimate Touhou of Ultimate Destiny bullets, bullets, and more bullets as far as the eye can see and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

this is the Ultimate Touhou of Ultimate Destiny

Suika took a bite out of Ruukoto like Yuyuko took a bite out of Mystia

and then Nue came back covered in a train track

but Hong Meiling jumped out and landed on her back

and Reimu was injured, and trying to get steady when Rikako Asakura came back with a machete

but suddenly something caught her leg and she tripped

Alice Margatroid took her out with her dolls

then she saw Suika sneaking up from behind and she reached for her dolls which she just couldn't find

'cause Reimu stole them and she fired and she missed and Hong Meiling deflected them with her fist

then she jumped in the air and did a somersault

while Rikako Asakura tried to pole vault onto Ruukoto, but they collided in the air

then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare(wut?)

this is the Ultimate Touhou of Ultimate Destiny dakka, dakka, and more dakka as far as the eye can see and only one will survive,

I wonder who it will be

this is the Ultimate Touhou...

fairies sang out an immaculate chorus

down from the heavens descended Wriggle Nightbug

who delivered a kick which could shatter bones

into the crotch of Alice Margatroid

who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain

as Reimu changed back into Nagisa

but Wriggle saw through her clever disguise

and she crushed Reimu's head inbetween her thighs

then Lily the Black and Lily the White

and "Scarlet Weather Rhapsody"'s Iku and Tenshi Hinanai

and The Blue Baka

and Magic Marisa and Mima the Spirit

Ruukoto, Parsee, Captain Murasa, and Yuugi

Nazrin, Kogasa, every single Prismriver

Jun'ya Ota and Umihara Iruka,
Ran, Yukari, Chen, and Yumemi

all came out of nowhere lightning fast

and they kicked Wriggle Nightbug in her glowing ass

it was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw with civilians looking on in total awe

and the battle raged on for a century many lives were claimed, but eventually the champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Rinnosuke in a bloodstained sweater

this is the Ultimate Touhou of Ultimate Destiny laser, beam spam, and danmaku as far as the eye can see and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be this is the Ultimate Touhou...
(The Ultimate Touhou)
this is The Ultimate Touhou...
(The Ultimate Touhou)
This is the Ultimate Touhou...
Of Ultimate Destiny.

Author's Note: Well, I finally upload something and it's this mess. Wow... I hope SOMEONE finds it humorous. Depending on reviews, I might turn this into a multi-chapter parody type thinger.