Islands 南山南, a hetalia - axis powers fanfic

A/N: This story is inspired by a Chinese song 南山南 (Nan Shan Nan), about a man from the North missing his lover from the South. The two are separated by islands and borders, unable to reach each other despite their love and yearning.

In this story, there are two POVs. The dominant/normal one is from Emil's (Iceland's) point of view. The second segment is supported by Ivan's (Russia's) point of view. Hope this helps ease any possible confusion.

Finally, enjoy and please remember to review :)

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. They belong to Himaruya-sama. I do not own the lyrics either. I only do the translation.

Warnings: angst, tragic moments, war/historical reference (might be wrong), semi-OOC, human AU, character deaths

(1) Flight

The night was cold when I boarded. The northern wind was fierce and merciless. I vaguely remembered that my palms were coated with layers of downy frost.

I was in a hurry to reunite with my lover, Leon. He came from Hong Kong, but was spending his Lunar New Year with his family in Shanghai, China. He called me the previous night and booked a ticket for me without even my consent. Always the impulsive one he was. This time, he justified his deed with a painful reason. His gramps was dying. His last wish was to see me before he passed away, just to make sure his grandson was loved and cherished.

I packed my luggage crudely and dashed to the airport. I had been sight-seeing with my own family in Moscow then. Lukas (my eccentric brother) was a bit peeved when I requested to leave them in the midst of our trip. Mathias (Lukas' good-for-nothing dorky boyfriend) only laughed and patted my back. Tino and Berwald (additional family members for no particular reasons) didn't want to make a big fuss so they just bid me farewell and wished me good luck.

And so, here I was, slouching against my seat and listening to the Cantonese pop songs Leon sent me earlier. Leon had booked a first class seat for me, just to ensure that I got a comfortable trip to Shanghai, no matter how short the journey was. That cheeky bastard is rich. When I say "rich", I mean "so damn rich". I wouldn't go into detail because counting his properties and luxuries would at least take me a week. But I could tell you we met in college. I went on a year's exchange in London. He was there on summer exchange. We took a few courses together. He was a complete badass in economics and accounting. He told me he was born and reared in London. His father is a British lawyer. His mother is a Chinese accountant. He had spent his entire childhood in England before heading back to Hong Kong for high school. His gramps has an international corporation in Shanghai. He was expecting him to inherit the business once he graduated from college. He wanted me to join him but I always hesitated. Truth be told, I didn't want to leave my family. I knew I would miss them terribly.

"Here's the drink you've ordered, mister." I nodded at the flight attendant cordially and got my drink.

I took a sip of the hot chocolate. It wasn't as sweet as how Leon would do it. I still missed the hot coco he used to make back when we were in London.

"You from the North also, da?"

I almost spilled my drink. Furrowing my brows a bit, I turned to meet those exhausted lavender orbs in curiosity. The old man sitting across me smiled faintly. He sort of reminded me of a ragged teddy bear. His hair was a grey mess. His face was pallid and wrinkled. His eyes were a beautiful shade of amethyst. But hollow inside.

"Er…sir, are you talking to me?"

That was a foolish question. There were only two of us in the first class. He chuckled a little, as if he was trying hard to suppress his laughter.

"Da? Who else can I be speaking to, young fellow?"

"Oh…sorry…I wasn't listening. Pardon please."

"Are you from the North?" he repeated his question once, still smiling.

"Um…yea?" I cocked my brows. "Not from Russia. I'm actually from Iceland."

"Oh? Interesting. What are you here for?" he asked. "Business? Or sight-seeing?"

I was getting a bit paranoid with all his probing questions. He looked decent and well-off though. I supposed he might just want a company for the solitary night.

"I was here for sight-seeing."

"But now you're heading to China?"

"I'm going there to meet a friend." I smiled when the thought of Leon flashed across my mind.

"Da. I see. Me too. I'm going to see a friend of mine. A very important friend indeed."

He spoke with a childish tone; one imbued with so much innocence and anticipation. His smile was naïve and pure. For a while, I doubted if he ever noticed this strongly affective aura around him.

"I'm Ivan by the way."

"I…I'm Emil…" I stuttered.

"Emil…a good name that is." He giggled.

"But people usually just call me Ice." I shrugged.

"Why?"

"Because I'm from Iceland and they think my heart is cold as ice."

"Well, is it?"

"They don't know me."

"Surely they don't." Ivan nodded.

The next few minutes, he started coughing incessantly onto his handkerchief. I grew apprehensive and walked over to his seat.

"You okay, sir? Do you need me to call for a glass of water?"

"Nyet, I'm fine," he replied in his thick Russian accent. Grasping my hand, he pulled me down to sit with him. "Would you mind being a companion for an old, dying man tonight?"

I gasped and glanced into his shimmering eyes. Crimson droplets stained his handkerchief as he clung to my elbow imploringly.

"Don't worry. I'm not carrying a contagious disease." He seemed to sense my worry and cackled optimistically. "Lung cancer. The last phase. Cureless."

"I'm sorry…sir…" I muttered sympathetically and flopped down next to him. "If you need any help, just ask."

"You're such a kind fellow. Your lover…she must be truly blessed. "

I blushed and averted my gaze sheepishly. "Sir…my partner is a male. In fact, he is the one I'm going to see right now."

"I see." Ivan suddenly laughed. "He must be one lucky fellow then."

"Are you married, sir?"

"Call me Ivan." He grinned. "No. You must be wondering why my family let me go on a trip in such condition, da?"

"Um…I don't mean that…"

"So, this friend you are seeing…you love him much?" he asked.

My cheeks went beet red with that. I shook my head bashfully. "I…don't know. We only spent a summer together…and he confessed to me."

"What did you answer him then?"

"I…didn't." I smiled in embarrassment.

"You think a summer's time isn't sufficient to testify your love for each other?"

"Not really, sir. Have you ever fallen in love with someone?"

"You are changing the topic, Emil." Ivan snickered. My face got fiery. I started fidgeting with my hands uncomfortably.

"Then sir…what do you reckon I should do?"

"Listen to your heart, da?" he grinned widely, almost with overt confidence. "Aren't you going to meet him now? If you don't love him, you wouldn't have boarded this plane."

"I…"

"Do you want to hear a story?"

"A story?"

"Da. A story," Ivan confirmed with a nod.

"I guess…that's okay."

"I'm glad I've got an audience."

(2) Story

(Italics- Ivan's memory/POV)

I used to question about my existence in this world.

When they dragged me to the military, I thought it was a great opportunity for me to learn about myself. I had nothing to live for. Literally speaking, I was invincible. You know what they say- a man with nothing to lose ought to be fearless. I was exactly like that. In a void state. I didn't even know why I lived.

"What about your family?" I asked out of the blue.

Ivan frowned and tilted his head slightly.

Ever since I could make sense of this world, I had no parents. They were gone. Either dead or alive. I don't know. I was told that we were abandoned. My two sisters and I. My elder sister was a gorgeous angel. She had a heart of porcelain. So fragile. Her generosity was loved and appreciated by many. My younger sis was also beautiful, but she had a heart of spikes and poison. Her whole life was masked by inferiority and insecurity.

We grew up in a crappy orphanage. It didn't really provide us the necessary protection we craved for. So, I grew to stand up for myself. For that reason, I was told by many that I was insane, deranged, disorientated…or whatever they wished to name me. I had to fight for my sisters' parts too. They depended on me completely.

And so, they didn't really want to let me go when I decided to join the army. The country needed me, however. The world was in chaos after the Second World War. I went without notifying them. I left them a message, simply saying that I needed to claim my independence and seek the meaning of my life.

"Did you regret your choice?" I asked, shifting uneasily in my seat.

No. I made up my mind to sacrifice myself for the country. I guessed they both understood my decision. I did mention to them countless times I couldn't fathom the reason of my living. They both took it rather lightly. I was serious though. I had to know why I existed in this world. It was pretty much a reckless move. The training was more gruelling than I had ever imagined. The battlefield was ever more ruthless. There was no turning back, so I pressed on.

And then… I met him.

"Who?" I widened my eyes quizzically, waiting for Ivan to continue his story.

He coughed again. I requested a glass of warm water from the flight attendant and handed it to him.

He thanked me but instead of guzzling down the hot drink, he poured some of his vodka in it.

So…we were fighting with the Chinese soldiers in the Vietnam war. A grenade went off. I almost got bombed into pieces. I was saved by this beauty that I initially thought was a girl. He caught me and carried me all the way back to his camp. I got one fifth of my body burnt. I was lucky to have survived with a broken rib, a dislodged elbow and several fractured bones. He nursed me back to health. Turned out he was also in charge of the medical camp.

His name was Wang Yao.

He was…gorgeous. Just gorgeous. You wouldn't expect to find someone this stunning in the middle of a battlefield. His sheer existence didn't even belong to this corrupted side of the world. He had this pair of captivating amber orbs that reminded me of gold and my favourite sunflowers. His skin was nearly translucent. He tied his raven-black hair in a casual ponytail. He was a captain, or so I was informed.

"What do you think you were doing, xiao gui?" That was the first thing he spat at me. "Aiya! You could've lost your life, you reckless jerk aru!"

I was soon bombarded by his endless lectures and criticisms. He was so enraged when he told me off for being careless enough to step onto a grenade. I was stunned. No one, especially a stranger, would go that far to show his concern for my well-being.

He introduced himself to me and I told him my story. I spent nearly a month in that camp. He visited me on daily basis. He sterilised my wounds, patched me up, changed my bandages and lulled me to sleep. For that entire month, I thought I was in heaven. I had never felt so grateful for God for bringing me such a wondrous saviour.

"So…did you two become friends?" I asked, smiling a bit.

Da! We became the best of friends! His father was a general so it was inevitable for him to join the army. He loathed wars and violence. He feared death but he granted me life. I asked him why he risked his life to save me. He couldn't answer that. He just paused, for nearly the whole night just to ponder on my question.

The next day, he visited me again and got the answer. I was appalled. No…I was just touched to the core.

That was when I started to believe that my existence did mean something in this world. At least, to this man who was selfless enough to save an incompetent soldier like me.

"What did he say?" I blinked.

" Because I don't want you to die aru."

Simple as that. He said we never needed a complicated reason to save someone. He just did that on a whim and more importantly, out of a heartfelt urge. He said if he had to choose between seeing me blown into pieces or sacrifice his life to rescue me, he would definitely opt for the latter, regardless of how perilous and silly it sounded.

And he was right. He gained a new friend after saving me.

We fought alongside each other for another year or so. I enjoyed our collaboration very much. I learnt a lot from him. He always told me folklores from his country. We dreamt together. We made an oath to turn this world into a better place and to end this pointless war together. He was beautiful. Just beautiful. Both in and out. I never thought I would feel this genuine towards someone. But he did change my life completely. He was gallant. He was cultivated. He was refined. He was elegant and gracious.

He was my saviour.

"He sounds really like a distinguished man, sir," I complimented.

He is indeed.

When I asked him why he would even bother to hang out with someone as low as me, he only smiled.

"No one is born higher or lower. Everyone is equal."

"That's kinda philosophical, sir."

I remembered there was this one time I told Leon how inferior I felt compared with him. I didn't think I even qualified to be his partner.

He told me something similar. "No one is perfect, Ice. Everyone is born equal."

Yao is a very philosophical person. He could spend a day giving talks on the most mundane things. He taught me how to live my life with no regrets. He taught me how to see myself as a unique being. He taught me a lot of things. He forbade me to give up.

There were times I thought I would die. He refused to let me go. He always brought me back alive. He said I existed to keep him a company. He would always sob in front of me. It's pretty ironic. For a courageous man like him, he wept for someone as insignificant as me. He said he never wanted to be born in aristocracy. He just wanted to be ordinary. He, too, became a soldier to pursue his own meaning of life.

The relationship between us grew more complicated. I wasn't sure if my yearning for him still remained as that of a mere friendship. He, too, was indecisive. He was wavering. So was I.

We spent the year together peacefully. The war was raging but inside our little realm, we found peace and tranquillity. He would always sing me to sleep.

"Excuse me, sir…" I interrupted.

"Ivan," he reiterated, "call me Ivan."

"So…Ivan…was this Yao guy older than you or…?"

Yes. I forgot to mention. He was ten years older than me. To him, I was just a xiao gui, as he often called me. I thought of treating him as my brother but I couldn't. He didn't treat me like his brother either. We both believed it was destiny that we met.

When the war ended, I grew more certain with my feelings. I mustered the courage and...

"You confessed?" I gasped in astonishment.

Ivan laughed and coughed again.

You bet.

He looked stumped for a moment. I took it as all or nothing. We had to part anyway. He would go back to his country and live on as a great person. I would return to my village and continued my shabby life. All was the same.

He didn't answer me right away. Instead, when we parted, he didn't even bid me farewell. He left a chaste kiss on me and never turned back. I didn't see him again.

"What? Didn't you try to find him afterwards?" I exclaimed.

I did.

We wrote to each other.

It was a fairly pleasant journey of exchanging lovely gestures. He was shy in these matters so he never voiced it out. Instead, he wrote them down. He even explained to me why he kissed me that day on our departure. I never felt more fortunate and gleeful then. I relished our conversation very much, although it didn't take place face-to-face.

I got a job later on, promising to meet him when I saved enough money. Once or twice, he suggested coming to meet me but he never succeeded.

And then…the unthinkable happened.

"What? What happened?" I asked.

"My, my, aren't you eager?" Ivan chuckled, "Does my story sound absorbing to you?"

I blushed immensely and looked away.

Ivan sneered.

Damn old man.

I'm sure you should have heard of it. I thought our countries would always retain the best relationship. But no. Some time after the war came the split. Sino-Soviet split. He was from a governmental family, so it wasn't really surprising that he would sever his ties with me. Even if it wasn't his own choice, he had to comply with it.

I couldn't reach him then.

And he never wrote back.

(3) Questions

"What? He never wrote back? So…you…you never got to see him in the end?" I felt like an over-reacting teenage girl. Ivan's expression remained exceptionally calm. He smiled at me and nodded. I couldn't help sympathising with him. I mean…how often do you hear heart-breaking gay stories of unrequited love?

The next thing I knew, I couldn't control my mind. All sorts of questions started coming into my head. I kept flooding him with numerous questions.

"Did Yao live?"

" Did you get to see him in the end?"

"Why didn't you find him?"

"Why didn't he go to meet you?"

Ivan took all my questions rather optimistically.

To be honest, he didn't once shed a tear as he reminisced about his past.

"I spent years tracking him down," he said. "I was so relieved when I learnt that he lived on, as a happy, successful man. He got married. He was betrothed to a maiden from a noble family. They had kids. He moved on."

"What…about you?" I asked, my heart shattering upon the disappearance of his smile.

Ivan coughed again; this time, more severely than ever. I got him a few glasses of water and fed him his medicine. He took a deep breath and lolled against his seat. Clasping my hand, he stared at me solemnly.

"Emil, do you still think a summer's time is not sufficient to testify two people's love?" he questioned again.

"Um…that depends…sir," I stammered.

"Love has no limits of time, young one. Promise me you will see your friend, da? You must meet him," he squeezed my hand.

"Ivan…" I didn't know how to respond to this sudden request. It all sounded bizarre to me. Yet, I was the one with tears streaming down the face. My eyes…somehow they couldn't contain this overwhelming feeling. His anguished smile struck my heart. I never thought I would even weep for a stranger I had barely met for three hours.

"If I had been braver, I would have taken him away. I would have eloped with him. Maybe that's why he had been waiting for me all his life…until one day…he decided that he had had enough waiting. He had to move on. So he got married and started a family. I was still an immature child in his eyes for sure. I never got to move on without his guidance."

"Ivan…" I frowned. "This friend….this friend you said you're going to meet…is it him? Is it Yao?"

"It's funny how one always does the most unimaginable when he is about to die. The fear of death never crossed my mind, at least, not after I met him. But at the moment, after hearing your question, I believe I am indeed afraid. Da, what if I don't get to see him in the end? Either way, this story would finish on its own."

"No…don't let that happen…I'll help you, Ivan," I reassured him. "Wherever this friend of yours is, I'll help you find him. Don't worry. I'll ask my buddy to help too. Leon is good. He knows a lot of stuff. His family is damn rich. He can totally dispatch a team to look for your friend. Trust me."

The night grew darker. He began to pant and cough again. I stroked his back gently, hoping that he would be able to make it till the plane landed.

I never thought that I would offer to help someone like him.

It started off as sympathy. Then it became a responsibility. I knew what his story entailed was more than love and memory. There was a sense of consciousness and yearning which needed not any further proof. I knew how flawed and vulnerable my relationship with Leon was. I knew we both came from the North just to seek a companion in the South. I knew well we both didn't want a bad end.

It shouldn't end like this.

It can't be.

(4) Islands

"Who is this?" Leon asked.

I ignored his question and draped a blanket over Ivan. I stopped the wheelchair and glimpsed my lover.

Silently, I trotted over to his side and embraced him. He gasped, but returned the hug instantly.

"What's wrong, Ice?" he gulped. "You're usually not this affectionate."

"Take me to your gramps," I commanded. "Now."

你在南方的艷陽里，大雪紛飛

In the southern region where the sun shines

You live in the snow

我在北方的寒夜裡，四季如春

In the northern cold land I dwell

It is always spring

如果天黑之前來得及，我要忘了你的眼睛

If possible, I wish I could forget your eyes before the darkness comes

窮極一生，做不完一場夢

I have spent my whole life dreaming an endless dream

"Who's he?" Leon asked again.

I didn't stop. I kept pushing the wheelchair along the hallway.

"Ice, why are you bringing this old man along with us? Who the hell is he?"

"Leon." I halted.

Ivan's singing ceased too.

He kept a cherubic smile on his face.

"Do you like the song, da?" He turned around to grin at us.

"Ice." Leon frowned and pulled me to one corner. "Who the hell is that old creep? Why is he singing in Chinese? Not to mention that's gramps' favourite song too!"

"Leon." I sighed and gazed into his dark brown orbs. "Trust me, okay?"

"I always trust you."

"Then ask later. Time's running out."

He nodded.

Swiftly, I went back to the wheelchair and wrapped my hands around the handles.

"Please continue your song, Ivan." I smiled.

"My pleasure."

他不再和誰談論相逢的孤島

He never tells anyone about the island where they met

因為心裡早已荒無人煙

Because he knows well his realm has long vanished

他的心裡再裝不下一個家

His heart can no longer contain another home

做一個只對自己說謊的啞巴

He would rather become a mute liar to himself.

"I once told him, we are all individual islands separated by the ocean." Ivan gazed up at me. "Do you know what he told me?"

I shook my head.

We turned left into the corridor and stopped in front of a private ward. The name was written big and bright on the card outside the door.

How could I have forgotten something so important.

Leon's another surname was Wang.

His grandfather was-Wang Yao.

"He told me that, no, all islands are connected by the ocean."

他說你任何為人稱道的美麗

Other people's praises of your beauty

不及他第一次遇見你

Cannot amount to your gorgeousness when he first saw you

時光苟延殘喘無可奈何

Time rolls on and people sigh

如果所有土地連在一起

If all lands are connected together

走上一生只為擁抱你

He would spend his whole life walking these lands just to hug you

喝醉了他的夢，晚安

But he is drunk in his dreams, good night.

"I never believe in miracles. I've never thought I could come this far either. But young fellows, both of you, thank you." He smiled the biggest smile.

Tears resurfaced my eyes. Leon had long stopped asking me questions. Instead, he helped me lead Ivan into the ward.

There, lying serenely on the bed, was an old man who had been yearning to see me with his grandson.

I stumbled forwards. My legs were trembling so much I almost tripped. Leon snaked his arm around mine and kissed my cheek.

"Yo gramps, we're here."

"Aiyah! I've been waiting for so long aru!"

The old man suddenly sprang up with a thrilled smile, startling all of us. "Mei, Kiku, Yong Soo have all left! It's only you now aru!"

Leon shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

"Jia Long, let me see you in the light aru," the old man demanded.

Obediently, Leon went to switch on the lights. We stepped into his sight, our hands intertwined.

"I've, like, brought my fiancé to meet you, gramps."

"As expected of my precious grandson! You two look good together…aiya…I can now rest in peace."

He old man giggled before noticing a shadow over the other side of his bed. He stiffened upon seeing the hunched man in the wheelchair.

"Privet, Yao-Yao. It's been quite a while, da?"

"I…Ivan?!"

他聽見有人唱著古老的歌

He hears someone singing an old song

唱著今天還在遠方發生的

Singing what has happened today from afar

像在他眼睛裡看到的孤島

Just like the lonesome island in his eyes

沒有悲傷但也沒有花朵

There is no sadness. Neither is there a flower.

"Ivan Braginski... I know him," Leon said. "You could've just told me his name.".

We were sitting on a bench outside the ward. The song reverberated in our ears.

"You do?"

"He's an old friend of gramps. He's also a war veteran. Used to live in poverty but climbed his way up the social ladder after starting a vodka business. Peculiar I know. He used to invest in our company a lot. We have trades and such. Always heard about his adventures from gramps. But never got to see him. They used to write to each other but stopped for a decade or so. They resumed contact a couple of years ago."

"Your gramps talks about him a lot?"

"Not really. He doesn't tell us a lot about his past. He has, like, only mentioned this once or twice but that's because he knows he's dying. I got all the other information myself. Gramps wants someone to learn about his history, at least. And I guess it wouldn't hurt to be his audience if this makes the old man happy. I don't want him to pass away miserably."

"I thought you dislike him," I commented. "You always croaked about him when we were in London."

"True he is annoying, long-winded, reserved and all. But I still respect him highly. So, what does this Braginski guy want?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"What?"

"He's come to accompany your gramps."

你在南方的艷陽里，大雪紛飛

In the southern region where the sun shines

You live in the snow

我在北方的寒夜裡，四季如春

In the northern cold land I dwell

It is always spring

如果天黑之前來得及，我要忘了你的眼睛

If possible, I wish I could forget your eyes before the darkness comes

窮極一生，做不完一場夢

I have spent my whole life dreaming an endless dream

大夢初醒荒唐了一生

When I finally wake up from my dream

I realise what a ridiculous life I have lived.

We never knew what happened in the ward that night.

Never knew how many words they had exchanged; how many tears they had shed; how many tragic pasts they had grieved.

The next day, we found them both lying peacefully in each other's embrace.

Leon's grandfather, Yao, had the most blissful smile ever ingrained on his face.

Ivan was absolutely right about one thing.

Yao is beautiful.

And Ivan's smile never faded.

The two lovers were reunited again, after so many decades of separation.

南山南，北秋悲

There are mountains in the southern regions

There is sadness in the northern fall

南山有谷堆

T here are valleys in the south

南風喃，北海北

In the southern mountain someone sings

There is a sea in the north

北海有墓碑

There are graves in the northern sea

"So...like…are you mad at me?" Leon asked. His eyes never once left his gramps' grey gravestone.

I bent down and put a banquet of flowers on Ivan's.

"For what?"

"For lying to my gramps that you were my fiancé." Leon said and jammed his hands into his pockets. He looked absolutely suave in his suit and gelled hair.

"Well…aren't I?" I questioned, raising my brows in amusement. I stood back up and ogled him.

He looked bewildered.

"What?"

"Aren't I your fiancé?"

"You mean…"

"I accept you proposal, Leon Kirkland-Wang."

"Seriously?!"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"Damn."

He tossed himself at me. We both lost our balance and became a cuddling mess on the ground. A gust of breeze brushed against us. We both took a peek at the two gravestones awkwardly and then stared back at each other.

"Well?"

"I'm, like, so happy right now. I'm sure gramps is super happy for me and for us too."

"Yeah."

"What makes you change your mind by the way? I thought…you would say 'no'."

"Is that what you want?" I smirked.

"No! Of course not! So…like…you would stay with me here from now on?"