Meant To Be

'You see!' said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. 'She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten. She doesn't care!'

'It's different,' said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. 'Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -'

'But I don't care either, I don't care!' said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin's robes and shaking them. 'I've told you a million times ...'

And the meaning of Tonk's Patronus and her mouse-coloured hair, and the reason she had come running to find Dumbledore when she had heard a rumour someone had been attacked by Greyback, all suddenly became clear to Harry; it had not been Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all ...

'And I've told you a million times,' said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, 'that I am too old for you, too poor ... too dangerous ...'

'I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus' said Mrs Weasley over Fluer's shoulder as she patted her on the back.

'I'm not being ridiculous,' said Lupin steadily. 'Tonk deserves somebody young and whole.'

'But she wants you,' said Mr Weasley, with a small smile. 'And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.' He gestured sadly at his son, lying between them.

'This is ... not the moment to discuss it,' said Lupin, avoiding everybody's eyes as he looked around distractedly. 'Dumbledore is dead ...'

'Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world,' said Professor McGonagall curtly, just as the hospital doors opened again and Hagrid walked in. (Page 582 of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

As Minerva and Harry left the room, Tonks was overcome by a stifling tension that had almost immediately risen. Clearly, while the occupants of the room were all very concerned about Bill's health, they were also concerned about the situation between Tonks and Remus.

"I, I'd better be going," Tonks mumbled, and before anyone could respond she moved out of the room as fast as she was able without running. As she whipped around the corner, she broke into a run. She had to get away from Hogwarts, away from yet another place that Remus had rejected her. Without her noticing, she had arrived at the lake. Carefully, she lowered herself onto the ground and learned against the Beach Tree.

No one understood what she was going through. While Molly, Arthur, Minerva, and even Dumbledore had claimed to understand how she felt, she knew that none of them did. While they may have been rejected time after time, they had other people to go to, they had someone who wasn't shunned by society, someone who was scared to love because he had been hurt too many times before. They're rejections had been based upon a lack of love and understanding, hers was built upon a society opinion.

Knowing that Remus was denying his heart and hers made every rejection that she encountered so much worse. She knew that with every refusal and every rebuff she was hurting him as much, yet someone within her couldn't stop until he agreed or refused for another reason. Whether, one day he stopped loving her because of her pushes, or whether he gave into her demands, either way, when that day came, it would be the end of something and the beginning of another for both herself and Remus.

As the thoughts continued to flow through her, she didn't hear the gentle footsteps approach. When the person sat beside her in silence, she knew who it was, yet made no attempt to begin conversation.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Hi," she replied, just as quiet. There was no further conversation, none was needed. They both knew what the other was thinking and they both knew that this would be the last time the issue was raised. Waiting for the inevitable rejection, Tonks remained silent and attempted to control the tears that had already welled.

"Why?" he asked quietly. Tonks was taken aback, this was not what she had expected.

"I hoped, that with everyone there, you wouldn't do it again." A few tears leaked out the corner of her eyes.

"It wasn't fair," he continued quietly.

"No," she agreed, "It wasn't."

"Why?" he asked again. Although the reason that she had given before was true, it wasn't the only motive she had for asking in front of everyone.

"I see it in your eyes, every time you tell me 'no'" she whispered, "I see the pain of what you think you must say, and I wonder if it hurts you or me more when you do."

"Tonks..."

"Shhh. I know that I push you to accept, and I know that you love me. Yet, every time that you deny what your heart wants most, the pain grows stronger and I doubt your love for me further. Sometimes, sometimes I wish you would just ignore what everyone else thinks and do something that you want. I wish you could just accept that whatever you do or whatever you say to me, I'll still love you. You have to realise by now that you're going to have to be the one that doesn't love me, you're going to have to be the one that breaks us apart, and you are going to have to be the one that wavers in loyalty."

"Nymph..."

"Why can't you grasp your Gryffindor bravery and ignore everyone else? I'm a Hufflepuff, I'm loyal and trustworthy not brave, that's you; yet I'm brave enough to announce to everyone that I'm in love with a WEREWOLF!"

"Don't..."

"I have the most to lose, I have everything to lose, and yet I have everything to gain. I can live being shunned by society, by family, by friends, and I can live with hardly any money or bare accommodations, and I can live with my life being in constant danger. But Remus, you're killing me by not accepting my love; you're the one thing, the one person that I cannot live without."

"Please..."

"If you truly don't want me," she said softly, as her voice broke when she heard the pleading note in his, "if you truly don't love me; tell me 'no', and I won't bother you again."

There was a long silence, "I can't," he whispered painfully, "I can't tell you 'no' because I do love you."

"Then do what your heart desires for once! Do something that would make you happy, truly happy, for the first time."

"I can't."

"Why? Why can you allow everyone around you to be happy, but not yourself? Why can you allow everyone to find love, to gain a family but you won't allow yourself? Why can you allow faults in everyone else, but never in yourself?"

Remus shook his head, and remained quiet.

"WHY?"

"BECAUSE I AM UNWORTHY! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" Remus's voice broke, and a few tears rolled down his cheeks, "I don't deserve anything, and I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you."

Tonk's stared at him. In the year that she had been continually rebuffed, this was the first time she had seen him lose his temper, and not have iron-control over his emotions. It shocked her, and at the same time she loved him all the more for it. Realizing that she had not responded to Remus's comment, she shook herself out of her thoughts once more.

"You don't deserve someone as wonderful as me? Remus, I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you! Don't you see? I would be the lucky one. I would be the most fortunate person in the world to be with someone like you."

"I'm a monster! Within one full moon you would want out as fast as you could. I'm trying to save you heart-break when you realise what you have done."

"No," she said stubbornly, "You're trying to save yourself heart-break. I'm not going to leave you, regardless of what happens; so you're only hurting yourself and me because of your idiocy."

Remus shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, before the words could be heard, Tonks cut him off.

"Imagine, you are not a werewolf, you are not older than me, and you are not poor. Would you be with me?" Remus nodded his head, though his eyes remained weary wondering where she was going with this, "Then what is the problem?"

"The fact that I am all of those."

"Please, Remus," she begged, and for the first time, she wondered if it was worth pursuing him, "Please. If you love me at all, even the slightest bit, then let us be together. I'm on the verge of losing my job because I can't morph, I'm so damn depressed that I can't sleep and I've barely eaten in weeks." Tonks voice cracked once more, and tears cascaded down her cheeks, "Even if you love me only a little bit, please, because while you may be able to live without me, I can't live without you." With that, Tonks gently kissed his cheek and left.

It was true what she had said. He's heard that she had almost lost her job because of her inability to morph. She was currently on Modified Duty, which meant she was doing filing. He had also noticed that she seemed to never sleep or eat, because while he had almost no contact with her, he had asked a number of people to keep an eye out. When he had seen her, he had noticed the huge black rings below her eyes, the sallow and unhealthy appearance of her skin, the depressed look in her eyes, that made her appear as though she were fifty years older. He'd also noticed that she was more careful, more sedate, and she wasn't as clumsy.

It had made him miss and yearn for the old Tonks. The one that could bring laughter and tears of mirth to everybody; the one that knocked over and broke everything but laughed as she received yet another bruise and the one that could make his heart tug as he looked at her violently pink hair. He wanted more than anything to have the young woman that could bring tears of laughter to his eyes back.

He knew he was hurting her, but yet he thought that he was protecting her. He wasn't, he was protecting himself from what he thought would be inevitable hurt. He considered Minerva's words, "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world." Believe it to be a dead man's last request, but Remus decided that it was time for happiness. It was time for him to face that maybe this was the one woman, in the universe, that would never be disgusted by him, and that would love him regardless.

Quickly, he stood. Where had she gone? He had been so lost in thought that he had not taken notice of where she had gone. He headed to the castle, figuring that someone there might know where she was. As he entered, he was taken aback at the gloominess of the usually cheerful halls, and the sour expressions on the portraits. Before he could go very far, he bumped into Minerva.

"Minerva, do you know -?"

"Tonks went home. She waited in my office for a ten minutes, but when you didn't come she came to the conclusion that you didn't love her."

"Home to her apartment, or Grimmauld Place?"

"Grimmauld Place."

He nodded his thanks and began to jog out the halls. A cry of 'Good Luck' echoed behind him, and he couldn't help but think that it was exactly what he needed. Within ten minutes, he was standing outside the old and dirty building, waiting for the door the be unlocked. When it was, he was taken aback at the sight.

Tonks couldn't have been home very long, but she was already puffy-eyed and red-rimmed, looking at him as the tears flowed. When she saw who it was, through the tears, she stepped aside, and her hair showed the slightest bit of change.

"What are you doing here?" she choked out, as she made no effort to stem the tears. "Did you want to make sure that I got the message? Because I do understand, you know. You don't love me, and you never will."

"No, Nymph, you've got it all wrong." He started desperately.

"Don't call me that."

Remus nodded, "Tonks, I came here to ask you if you would be willing to have me. I've come to my senses. It's taken a while, I guess," Tonks gave a choked half-laugh-half-sob, "Okay, it took me ages, but I realise that I'm wrong. I really would like a chance to persue a relationship with you. To -"

Whatever else Remus was planning to say was cut off, when Tonks abruptly sealed her lips to his. Almost instantly, his arms tangled around her waist, pulled her closer, as her arms went around his neck, deepening the kiss. Several long moments later, they pulled apart, and Tonks rested her head upon his shoulder, as she sat in his lap. Neither said a word, as their eyes remained closed, both enjoying the comfortable silence.

A few minutes later, Remus opened his eyes, and laughed.

"What?" Tonks asked, surprised.

"Your hair is pink."

Tonks nodded, "It's my happy colour. You make me happy, you know." Remus nodded.

"Do you think we were meant to be?" Remus asked.

"I do."

"I think so too."

The following morning, Tonks woke early, and looked across at the man sleeping beside her. Gently, she leaned down and gave him a kiss, before curling her head and resting it in the crook of his neck.

"This isn't a dream," she whispered, surprised when she opened her eyes again, and saw him beside her.

"No," as he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, as her head was still buried in his neck.

"It really isn't a dream," she said in wonder. Remus looked at her, bright pink hair fell messily around her shoulders, and her violet eyes took in the sight of him with awe.

"Marry me?" she asked, as she pulled back slightly from his embrace to look into his eyes. When he didn't respond, "Marry me?" she repeated.

"Tonks," his voice was warning but she paid no heed to it.

"I need to know. I need to have some evidence that you won't leave again." When Remus didn't respond, but remained to look unsure, she continued, "I know you love me, but I, I need something that proves that you won't ever leave, because I know I won't survive it."

"Yes," he said simply, and her hair glowed brighter.

An extraordinary assortment of people had already settled into half of the chairs: shabby and smart, old and young. Most Harry did not recognise but there were a few that he did, including members from the Order of the Pheonix: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Mad-Eye Moody, Tonks, her hair miraculously returned to vividest pink, Remus Lupin, with whom she seemed to be holding hands, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Bill supported by Fleur and followed by Fred and George, who were wearing jackets of black dragonskin. (Page 597 of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

(I hope it was okay. It's my first Remus/Tonks and I don't know if they are very in character. Please review, I would love to know what you think of my attempt.)