March 3, 2015

I've always dreamed of keeping a diary of my thoughts. I don't want to think of this diary as a book of secrets, though. I'd never write my innermost feelings down without erasing them afterward. I feel like they'd lose their meaning if I did.

Anyway, this is just a keepsake, a memory holder that will remind me (hopefully) of all the little moments I treasure in life, both good and bad.

With that said, today was, as usual, a beautiful day. The sky was so blue without a single cloud in sight! I was sitting on a bench outside of Shigure's, enjoying the sunny day, and oh, how I wished that I could fly like a bird into the sky, as silly as it may sound.

I told Kyo this as he sat next to me on the bench and he shot me that look of his that makes me tip my head as butterflies flutter in my chest (okay, many looks he gives me does this). To be specific, he looked at me as though I was crazy. Despite this, as I raised my head to look at him, as I felt the pull of the birds flying above us, it took so much strength to keep me from pouncing on him and hugging him tightly.

It's funny, diary...

My relationship with Kyo is so different from my relationship with Yuki.

Unlike Kyo who makes his presence known with his raised voice, messy room, and spilled milk, Yuki is like the clouds on a sunny day. You expect him to be gone, but his appearance is actually unpredictable. I completely understand that he likes doing his homework and studying for his classes. I admire his work ethic...I really do.

But he is so hard to find sometimes.

Although I have to admit, I find it charming and a little cute that he has his own little garden that he spends so much time taking care of. I don't mean to sound like I'm judging Yuki negatively, but it's not often that I hear of a boy tending to flowers because he wants to.

It's...sweet.

But, as I was saying, I had been looking for Yuki because I had made lunch, a few sushi rolls for us all to pick from and share. After knocking on his door, I returned to the kitchen and Shigure told me that Yuki might be in the garden. I rushed outside wondering why I didn't think of that and found Yuki sitting, his back to me as he was digging a hole in the dirt. I saw a small ripped packet with a picture of a violet on it sitting on the ground beside him, and it brought such a smile to my face. I knew that violets were Yuki's favorite and I suspected it had to do with his own purple eyes.

As I closed in on him, my shadow fell over his crouched fom and enveloped much of his surroundings. Yuki's head rose slowly and he gasped harshy, face whipping in my direction. The fear in his eyes was genuine, as though I had caught him trying on women's underwear or something.

I felt bad...I really did.

As we walked back to Shigure's, it was kind of strange...There was something about the way that Yuki looked at me that was different. His eyes were more piercing, meeting my own more often. I tried to feign ignorance, act like nothing had changed, but there were more things that were even more undeniable.

There was a light in his eyes and a skip in his step that wasn't usually...or ever, really, there. Before we went inside, I felt like I had to ask…

Did he have a special reason for planting the violets, or any of his flowers?

Yuki had paused at the door and I stopped as well, facing him, waiting patiently. He looked at me and opened his mouth before shutting it, hesitant.

Finally, a spark lit in his eye, as a muscle twitched in his cheek.

I held my breath and waited.

"It keeps me busy," he said. "I feel like I'm doing something, making myself useful." He then looked away as though he were embarrassed.

I shook my head to myself, my own lips quirking into a silly little smile. I couldn't understand why he would be embarrassed.

I liked his answer.