If you truly believe that, then why are you still with Vixen?
Good question. It just keeps resounding, over and over, tumbling within my mind, causing me to become more and more confused with this thing known as my life. I've seen the future, hadn't I? I know that she's my destiny, the love of my life… the mother of my child. Then what am I doing?
Why am I still with Vixen? Is she the one that I truly want? Is it guilt? Is it a race thing? I honestly don't know. I mean… Mari is warm, loving, and fun. She has this independence about her, giving a sense that she can take care of herself, and if it were any other time, a time before I had become a part of the League, and she had tugged at my heart, I know that I would give way in a second. But, that isn't the case, is it? No, it isn't… there's something stopping me from giving myself completely to her, and I know what it is, and so does Vixen.
I've tried to forget, tried to stop the feelings that I feel, but everytime that I'm near her, no matter how hard I try to mask it, Shayera's brashness, or bravado, or whatever you want to call it simply crushes my defenses, causing me to become a stuttering twelve year old numbskull, unable to make up my mind about what I really and truly want. Man, even when I'm talking to her, I have to stop myself so that I won't say how I truly feel about her. I can't believe that I practically lost my mind when I saw her in that dress. Geez… what was I thinking? 'Judas's Priest'! Could I have been more obvious?
And now, this Hall character is trying to get with her… and I don't like it. What the hell is stopping me?
You're scared… man, admit it. Scared to put yourself, your heart back in her hands again. Where she'd have another opportunity to tear it from your chest again, not knowing if you're strong enough to survive something like that again… Damn… fear. Always has a way to make a man freeze in his tracks, leaving you open and vulnerable, like a newborn baby.
But I was raised to know that if fear beats you down… you gotta get back up and face it. So, what's it gonna be, Stewart? You gonna MAN UP or PUNK OUT!
What am I gonna do?
end