DISCLAIMERS: Does it look like I own any of this?

Author Notes: This takes place after Impact. This is just a pinch on the dark side but I had to write it. Those damn thoughts wouldn't let me get a minute of sleep unless I wrote this. Now on with the show…

Black Coffee

Bitterness

By Therapist

I like coffee; black with three sugars please. So bitter, like me. I chuckled into my cup at that thought. Bitter…didn't I have every right to be bitter?

I made a 'Find Out How Messed Up you Are' checklist. Hmm, terrorist mother now deceased because of me. Check. Mutation beyond control, depriving me of touch. Check. World that hates you because you're different. Check. Super mutant set out and about, ready to conquer the world. Check. Oh, that gets a double check because I helped him.

I'm a just a tab bit bitter, a bit vinegary if you ask me.

But it's okay, because that how a Goth's suppose to be; forever drowning in misery while I listen to angry music complaining about the unfair world. Yes, typical Goth dressing in dark clothes and dark make-up cause you know why, I worship the devil. Why else would I wear such colors associated with the Anti-Christ? I mean that must be the reason. I mean it can't be that I simply like the color black! Oh noooo. To like something other than the world's misery would mean I'm human, but it can't be.

I'm the Ice Queen; face permanently stuck with a scowl and a sharp tongue hidden behind my teeth. I have no emotions as rip apart people with my words. It's their own fault, they asked for it by trying to be my friends.

First Kurt, he was the catalyst. Seriously, the brother-sister bonding shit was getting too much for me. Only one person would be hurt in the end and I knew that it wouldn't be me. And voila! The solution came to me, it can separate families despite how 'tight' they may be. Killing your mother may not be the numero uno choice for everyone but for me there was no hesitation on my part. Okay, maybe a little, but all I had to do was think about what that bitch did to me to steel my resolve. Pushing her off that cliff, I have never felt anything so wonderful, definitely beats an orgasm. Watching her body crumble into small pieces, I was sure that all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put her back together. Kurt hasn't talked to me since then. And that's fine with me, I didn't want a blue fuzzy freak as a brother.

Next was Kitty, the valley girl that is also a genius. Get the fuck out of here man. You seriously expected me to become friends with that? It was quite easy to manipulate her. Kitty decided to surprise me with a breakfast while I was sick one day. Oh, Kitty you gave such a perfect opportunity, I thank you. First, I told her that her food tasted like shit, some of the worst food in the world. Then I told her that for a fucking genius, she sure is stupid at times. After that, I told her that her clothes made her look like a fat cow. I think I also added something about her being a whore, even though I know she hasn't slept around. But I don't bother with the small details. Oh, I also told her, "The only reason that Lance wanted to go out with you was that I told him you were easy and a good lay," or something along those lines. To top off the dessert, I smashed the food into her pretty little face and said that I never could be a friend to a fat, stupid whore. I moved out that evening, and hadn't seen hide or hair from her.

After Kitty came Scott. I mean we haven't been that close anyways. He recruited me, good job, give yourself a pat on the back. Now go off, play with Ms. Grey, and leave the poor Goth all alone in her agony. Oh Scott, it hurts that you think that I give a rat's ass about you anymore. Guys, are you all this blind? I mean come on, coming to the resident lonely hearts for dating advice? Thanks Scott for rubbing it in my face, why don't you just throw some salt on my wounds while you're at it. My advice, what I told him was to, "Fuck her, then dump her for Taryn then fuck her, hell fuck them all Scott. Isn't that what you want? To get laid? Or is it someone else you want?" His expression was priceless. I taped my head. "I know your thoughts especially all of you deep, dark secrets. I guess I wasn't the only one checking out Lance." I cackled knowing full well that he didn't swing that way. But as I said before, I never bothered with the petty details. Sure enough, word spread that Summers was one flaming homo. I started it, of course, and waved that fact in his face. We haven't been so chummy since then.

Then there's Miss Jean You-should-look-at-me-with-awe-cause-you've-been-graced-by-a-goddess's-presence Grey. She should really change her middle name to that. Did she get lessons in Scott about being totally clueless? Apparently she did. Could someone please give me the address to that teacher, so I may shoot him in the kneecaps then castrate him. So, it turns out that she 'made love' to Duncan, and who does she run to talk to? Kitty, Storm, the horde of female admires, oh no, me, the one girl who will never fuck a man. What inspired her to come to me? Something about, she couldn't talk to the others, it was just too weird. As she blathered on, unaware of my blank stare and rapid blinking, her logic of coming to me played in my head. Surely she wasn't this stupid, though there were times I questioned that. Then this must mean it would be a cruel joke. My eyes narrowed. Princess, you have no idea whom you're messing with! She poured her heart out; man, I have some pretty good blackmail items here. But I listened with false interest, while analyzing how to best strike back. Then the clincher, she said she loved Duncan; I started to laugh at that point. She loved that gorilla, with shit for brains, because he made her feel good. Does love make everyone this blind and stupid? I knew of his infidelities, everyone in the entire school knew, except for the lovesick idiot. So I sent her images, graphic ones of him with other girls. I planted the black seed of doubt in her mind, and I reveled in her howl of pain. As I left her sobbing on the bed, I told her that she was a whore and whores never deserve love.

So that must mean I'm a whore, because I know I certainly don't deserve love. But it's not like I'm asking for it. You know what cupid, take those arrows of yours and do the world a favor, shoot yourself in the nuts. Life is hard without you causing your little soap opera drama. Geez, when did I get sucked into 'Young and the Restless'? But then again, all the drama makes everyone glum which means you're doing your job God and keeping me happy. I guess I can delay cupid's death until later.

I relish in other people's pain, the feeling of euphoria fill my chest as others wallow in agony. If I ruled the world, everyone will be in eternal suffering.

Wow, how long did it take me to lose all of my friends? I tap my chin in mock thought. Less than a week, come on Guinness Book of World Records I expect you at my doorsteps soon.

I finish off my coffee, tossing the empty cup into the sink. I have a Danger Room session in five and the thoughts of hurting people pumped through me like a drug. I cracked my knuckles as the images of everyone writhing in agony beneath me filled my mind. Hmm, Logan will be watching me closely though. Ever since I nearly killed Jamie, Logan's been on my ass like an unwanted pimple. Maybe I should just go for a walk instead and torture some normal people for a change. Yeah, I like that idea.

Professor Xavier rubbed his temples as slamming echoed through the mansion. His headache teetered toward migraine intensity as he turned over the recent events in his mind.

Rogue somehow became estranged from all of them. No one needed to say it; he saw it and felt it. First Kurt, the next day Kitty, after that Scott, then nearly killing Jamie in the DR session, and then the conversation with Jean. Xavier didn't know where he went wrong; he guessed that the pull started a long ago. They were slowly catching up but suddenly a gap as wide as the Grand Canyon appeared between them now.

Now they were going to lose forever. Lose her to what? Her own anger and loneliness.

Like I said above, if you want me to continue this let me know. Feedback greatly appreciated.

therapist