It shouldn't have happened.
He had been obsessed. Obsessed with getting the organs. The patients needed the organs. Except Dave. No, Dave could have lived. Another month, maybe two.
No. He killed him.
In the 20 years that he had been a doctor, he hadn't killed anyone. He had been cautious and alert, and it had made him the best damn doctor to walk through the doors of Sacred Heart.
Perry Cox sat on his couch, holding a glass of scotch. His mind kept replaying that day over and over again, and wouldn't grant him a moment of peace. Jill Tracy's death. The transplants. The smiles on the transplant patients.
They died. All of them. Of fucking rabies.
He hadn't moved from his couch in weeks, simply staring nowhere and drinking. His mind wouldn't shut up, it wouldn't sleep. Drowning his mind with scotch would turn the screaming into whispers, but it never went away. The death of each patient, the chaos and panic as they coded, and, finally, he couldn't take it anymore.
He had killed.
Jordan couldn't handle watching him destroy himself, and when she had threatened with leaving and taking his son with her, Perry couldn't move, couldn't stop her from leaving. There wasn't anything he could say to make her stay, and there wasn't anything he could do to move from the couch.
His mind was drunk with rage and guilt, and the scotch only sank him deeper into... into this state that had become him.
Unmoving.
In silence.
And now, alone.
He heard his apartment door open, then close. He didn't care enough to look, just kept his staring blankly at nothing. Whoever walked towards him, and then sat down on the table in front of him. They weren't in his line of sight, however, and he still couldn't see them.
He suddenly felt someone tugging at his glass of scotch, and he tightened his grip on it and growled loudly. The hand flinched, and stayed away from him and his scotch.
He then felt the hand on his shoulder, and he felt the rage well up inside of him again. It wasn't comforting. He growled again, and this time looked at the intruder.
Of course. J.D.
Perry stared at him, breathing heavily as he got angrier and angrier. J.D. had enough sense to lift his hand, and look down. Dr. Cox terrified him, but somebody had to help. Especially now.
"Dr. Cox, I think that..." J.D. said, but Perry didn't hear the rest. His mind went blank with white rage, and he needed to get rid of it.
He stood up, drinking the remaining scotch before throwing the glass across the room. It shattered into million pieces, and Perry stared at them for a few seconds. Hm. Broken, ruined, irremediable.
J.D. had stood up too, cowering away. Perry smirked at how pathetic he was, eyes wide, hands defensively and femininely in front of him.
"Dr. Cox, please just calm down," J.D. tried. "I'm sorry Jordan left. We can talk about it, if you want?"
Perry growled. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do. He began walking towards J.D. menacingly. The younger doctor backed away from Perry, until his back hit the wall. Perry smiled to himself. He walked right up to J.D., their faces inches from each other. Perry felt J.D.'s breath on him, and Perry drank in the moment. He had been drinking for weeks, and Jordan had left a month ago. He wasn't alone now.
His drunk mind allowed him to rest his forehead on J.D.'s shoulder, and he could feel J.D.'s heartbeat. It was racing.
"Dr. Cox..." J.D. said, bewildered by the situation.
Perry didn't hear him. He needed someone. And someone was here.
He brought his hands to J.D.'s sides, grasping tightly onto J.D.'s shirt with both hands. Using his muscled arms, he began pulling on the material, ripping it in the process.
"Dr. Cox, what are you-!"
"Ashley," Perry said in a threatening tone, and continued to rip the shirt off of J.D's body.
J.D. stood there, frozen with confusion, fear and, to his surprise, arousal. He didn't know what was happening, but at that moment, he didn't care.
Pieces of J.D.'s shirt fell to the floor, and J.D.'s breath hitched as his bare skin came into contact with the cool air. Perry's hands explored his body, running over the tender skin, pulling J.D. closer to his body. Someone.
Perry needed this. And he didn't care that it was Newbie.
He brought his hand into J.D.'s hair, pulling it roughly to look into his eyes. The two stared at each other for a second; one pair of eyes wide and scared, the other tired and depressed. Dr. Cox forced his lips onto J.D.'s roughly, taking advantage of J.D's open mouth.
J.D still couldn't move, but as he felt Dr. Cox's lips on him and the pain form his roughness, his mind started working again. He pushed Dr. Cox by the shoulders as hard as he could, which wasn't enough to push Dr. Cox away from his body, but it was enough to break the kiss.
Perry didn't say anything. There was no shame in his eyes. Him, the alpha male of every room he had ever been in. Kissing Newbie.
"Uh.. Dr. Cox, you are drunk and... we shouldn't do this. And, um, I'm not gay," J.D. said weakly, still terrified of the older doctor. He was straight, honestly. Despite his feminine behavior, he had never had feelings for another man. However, the hard on straining his jeans begged to disagree.
However, if he was completely honest, he didn't want it to stop.
"Me neither, Brittany," Perry said, moving his hands to J.D.'s ass, forcibly pushing their crotches together. J.D. moaned involuntarily, embarrassed moments after. Perry smirked to himself, feeling J.D.'s hard cock on his thigh.
The younger doctor was still in a weird mixture of arousal and terror, and Perry knew it. He sighed, and loomed in J.D.'s blue eyes again. "Alicia, I need someone. I need this," he said, placing his forehead on J.D.'s shoulder again.
Suddenly, Perry felt J.D.'s small, quivering hands on his neck and back. He smiled. He was done playing nice. He couldn't do it.
Grunting, he slammed J.D. into the wall, hard, and J.D. let out a small yelp. Due to Perry's height, J.D was lifted off the floor. Helping him, Perry moved his right hand to J.D's thigh, lifting it up to support him as he began to suck and bite J.D's neck. Never kissing, never gentle. J.D. moaned, and instinctively wrapped his legs around Perry.
Perry groaned as J.D.'s hands began tugging on his hockey jersey. Supporting J.D.'s thin body with just his legs, he lifted his hands long enough for J.D. to pull his jersey off, and it soon joined the pieces of J.D.'s shirt on the floor. His right hand found it's way back to Newbie's ass, and the other into his messy hair, tugging on it roughly.
Perry continued ravaging Newbie's neck, but he wanted more. Needed more. Grunting, he took a step backwards, holding Newbie to his body as he started making his way towards the bedroom. Newbie held onto him, tightly, before being thrown onto the bed, back first.
Perry stared at the girl before him, and took a split second to think about what he was doing. It didn't really matter, anymore. He had nothing left. No Jordan, no family, and probably no job.
He climbed onto the bed, and, hovering above J.D., looked into his eyes, and then kissed him on the lips. J.D., surprised by the gentleness of Dr. Cox's actions, kissed him back, wrapping his hands around Dr. Cox's neck.
"Newbie... thank you for being here," Perry said, in a rare, weak moment of weakness, and placed his hands on J.D.'s waist.
Perry moved his hands lower, to J.D.'s jeans, and began pulling them down along with J.D.'s boxers. J.D. moaned as his hard on sprang free, making Perry growl loudly as the younger doctor was making his cock harder by the second. Resting on his knees and putting his hands to his belt, he began unbuckling and undoing his pants, keeping his eyes intent on J.D. as he shuffled out of them.
J.D. lifted himself off the bed enough to be resting on his knees like Dr. Cox, wrapping his arms around him. He then began to move lower, putting his hand to Dr. Cox's erection, and wrapping his hand around it.
Got bored of writing… Im really fuckign sorry, I'm a horrible procrastinator. I'll base my decision whether or not to continue this story on the reviews.
Oh, also, tell me which of my old stories you guys want me to continue. I'm so fucking lazy I'm not going to finish all of them anytime soon, but I might throw in a chapter or two.