Good morning! So, this "story" is something I wrote probably a couple years ago, and then, as is typical of me, I lost it. It was finally found again like, half an hour ago, and I decided to upload it before I lose it again, which is of course inevitable. So here it is! It's just a quick parody I did of all the episodes in first season Smallville. Bear in mind, I love Smallville greatly and respect it as a show, I was just bored.

Disclaimer: Smallville and its plot were not created by me.

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"Pilot"
Narrator: A bunch of rocks fell from the sky and killed people. Some turned into monsters. Or lost hair.
Clark: I WANNA PLAY FOOTBALL!
Jonathan: No.
Lana: Look at me and my green necklace!
Clark: Oooh, pretty...
Whitney: I hate you.
Jeremy: Well I hate you!
Lex: I'M BALD!

"Metamorphosis"
Greg: Yum, yum. Buggies. And Lana. Yum.
Lana: Ew.
Clark: Ew.
Whitney: Ew.
Greg's mother: Ew.
Greg: DIEEEE!
All: Ew.
Lex: I'M STILL BALD!

"Hothead"
Coach Walt: Grrrr...
Clark: I'm playing football, Father.
Jonathan: Shit.
Coach Walt: Grrrr...
Principal Kwan: Grrrr...
Coach Walt: Grrrr...
Clark: walks through fire
Lex: Bald, bald, bald.

"X-Ray"
Clark: Yum, naked Lana.
Tina's mom: dies
Tina: Shit
Lana: I hate myself!
Tina: You're perfect!
they fight
Clark: saves Lana, probably ripping his shirt off in the process. I can't be bothered to look it up
Lex: Yep. Still bald.

"Cool"
Sean: Chloe hot.
Chloe: Sean hot.
Clark: ...
Sean: I'm cold. kisses someone Nevermind.
Pete/Martha/Jonathan/Lana: Blah blah blah.
Sean: I'm cold again. Hey Chloe...
Chloe: Shit.
Lex: Bald. But I DO have eyebrows. grins

"Hourglass"
Harry: I'm old
Lana: Hi, old.
Harry: Now I'm young.
Lana: Oh.
Cassandra: Everyone you love will die, Clark. And it will be your fault. I'm sorry.
Clark: Shit.
Cassandra: You're an asshole, Lex.
Lex: And bald.
Cassandra: dies

"Craving"
Jodi: I'm fat.
Pete: That's okay.
Jodi: Now I'm skinny. And hungry.
Pete: You're hot.
Jodi: eats
All: blank stare
Lex: I'm bald. And Clark wants Lana.

"Jitters"
Earl: THERE'S A LEVEL 3!
All: Nope.
Earl: Fine, I'll just kill you then.
Clark: finds level 3
All: THERE'S A LEVEL 3?!

"Rogue"
Mr. Phelan: Whoa... Clark's a freak!
Clark: Shit.
Jonathan: Shit.
Martha: Shit.
Lex: Shit... hehe... bald!

"Shimmer"
Amy: Lex is HOT!
Lex: Damn straight!
All: ...
Victoria: I rule.
Amy: Nuh-UH!
Lex: Get her mental therapy, please.
Jeff (Amy's bro): In your FACE! It was me! Ha!
Clark: spills paint

"Hug"
Lex: Yo, Atticus!
Clark: Eh?
Bob: I rule
Kyle: I rule, but nobody must know
Chloe: Kyle, you rule. Show me.
Clark: Yeah
Kyle: Chloe and Clark, sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Clark: ...

"Leech"
Clark: I'm weak.
Eric: I'm strong.
All: Aaah! Eric's strong!
Clark: Eric, you're strong.
Eric: Go away, I'm strong.
Clark: Not anymore... pulls out kryptonite
Eric: I'm weak.
All: Yay. Eric's weak.

"Kinetic"
Whitney: I'm lost, and everyone hates me.
All but Lana: Damn straight.
Lana: I love you Whitney.
Whitney: You don't count. I have no purpose. I think I'll go hang with those evil guys over there.
Evil guys: Come steal with us, Whitney. We're not stoners.
Whitney: 'Kay.
Lex: Aaaah... they stole from me! Bald!
All: Haha.

"Zero"
Lex: Partay! Bald!
Some other people: Bad Lex.
Lex: Partay!
Some other people: hang Lex upside down
Lex: Wheeeeeeee!!

"Nicodemus"
Jonathan: I'm mean and horny!
Martha: Works for me.
Lana: I'm a slut.
Clark: Works for me.
Pete: Oooh... Chloe's hot.
Chloe: Works fo--nevermind.
All: Damn flower!

"Stray"
Martha: OOH! A boy! Can we keep him?
Ryan: I lost my shoe.
Clark: Yo Ryan.
Ryan: I can't read you're mind, Clark.
Clark: Yuppies.
Ryan: What's your secret, Lana?
Lana: I'M NOT TELLING!
Ryan: Yo Clark. That Lana bitch loves you.
Clark: Cool.

"Reaper"
Random old person: Ow, it hurts to breathe.
Tyler: Here, I'll help. kills them
All: You can't do that, Tyler
Tyler: Yeah, you're right. kills himself

"Drone"
Clark: I'm gonna be class president!
Sasha: Not if my bees can help it!
Clark: Oh yeah?
Sasha: Yeah!
Sasha's bees: attack people
All: Owie

"Crush"
Justin: I can't use my hands! sob/whine
Chloe: I love you anyway, Justin
Justin: Principal Kwan must die!
Chloe: Okay, nevermind I don't love you.
Clark: Haha! Jokes on you, Justin. Principal Kwan's as innocent as Lana's clothing.
Justin: Shit.

"Obscura"
Lana: Aaaah, Chloe's gonna die!
Chloe: Aaaah, I'm gonna die!
Clark: saves Chloe
Lex: Clark is Superman. I'm bald.

"Tempest"
Chloe: I love you, Clark
Clark: Mmhmm.
Lana: I'll miss you, Whitney.
Whitney: Mmhmm.
Clark: YEA! WHITNEY'S GONE! PARTAY!
Tornado: Muahahaha! Here I come, Smallville!

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Thank you for paying attention to my insanity for probably longer than you even should have. Reviews are very very welcome and will earn you an enormous e-hug. In my head. Or something. Just review.