A bouncer who was a bull was watching and letting people into a club late at night. Suddenly, a tiny, child-looking blonde furred animal of some kind with big ears walked up to him.
"Go home, kid, you're too young. You're like, what, 5? Where's your Mommy? Next!", The Bouncer said.
This made the small animal furious and he fumed with anger.
"Too young?! Too young?! I'll have you know I'm a fennec fox and we're ALL small, you idiot! Seriously, why does everyone think I'm a kid?! Has no one in Zootopia ever heard of a fennec fox before?!", the small animal ranted with a surprisingly deep voice.
This shocked the bouncer.
"Sorry, sir, my bad, you can go in", The Bouncer said, scared.
Suddenly, Finnick stopped ranting and calmed down.
"Thank you", Finnick said, almost forcefully.
Finnick went into the club and was stopped almost immediately by an obnoxious sheep.
"Omigod, you're so cute!", the sheep said, "I just wanna put you in a diaper then change the diaper and put you in a onesie and put a pacifier on you and cradle you", the sheep went on.
"Lady, keep ya weird fantasies to yourself", Finnick said and walked away from the lady.
Then he saw the back of a beautiful girl. A tall, curvy leopard. He walked up to her, hoping to get some action with her.
"Hey baby, name's Finnick and I must say, of all the girls, you're the most beautiful one I've seen", Finnick said, smoothly, trying to hit on her.
The girl didn't see Finnick but she heard his voice. His lovely, lovely voice. And she fell in love with his voice. And wanted to fuck anyone with that voice. But she turned around and...she didn't see anyone.
"Really? It takes me a second to turn around and that guy's gone? Ehh...he was probably a creep anyway", the lady said.
"Hey, down here!", Finnick shouted.
She looked down to see Finnick. And only Finnick. "So, where's the guy?", she thought.
"Hey kid, did you see a sexy guy anywhere? Had a deep voice?", the lady asked.
"I AM that guy! And I'm not a kid! I'm a fucking Fennec Fox!", Finnick said.
She couldn't believe it. He was the guy? He's the one who had that voice? I mean, she was seeing the voice coming out of the mouth and all but, even then, she still couldn't believe it. And she didn't know what to do. She thought his voice was hot and that made her want to have sex with him but...he wasn't hot. He was...cute. And she's not sure she really wanted to have sex with someone who was...adorable.
Suddenly, a large tiger came in. "Good", she thought, "maybe I can just ignore the pipsqueak and have sex with the tiger instead".
But this tiger was a little shy. He walked in slowly but unassuredly.
Then he spoke.
"Hey...uhh", the tiger started.
This tiger was the complete opposite of Finnick. While Finnick was boisterous and in your face, he was shy. While Finnick was mean, he was nice. While Finnick was small, he was tall. And while Finnick had a deep voice, he had a high pitched voice.
"You seem like a nice lady", the tiger went on, "and, uhh, I'd like to know if you'd like to go back to my place?"
The lady couldn't believe what she was seeing. The tiger was really, really hot but man if his voice wasn't annoying. She didn't know what to do. She had a cute, almost childlike guy with a hot voice on one hand and a hot guy with an annoying voice on the other hand. Then she got an idea in her head.
"I'd like that very much", the leopard said.
Finnick got angry.
"WHAT?!", he shouted.
"Wait a minute, I'd like it if you'd come to. I want to have a threesome with the both of you", the lady said, "what do you say?"
Finnick thought for a minute.
"Well, as long as we have sex together, I'm good. Of course, I'd prefer a threesome with two girls but what are you gonna do?", Finnick said.
The three went out of the club and walked to the leopard's car. She looked down at Finnick.
"I hope you don't mind me asking but are you going to need a car seat?", the leopard asked.
Finnick got annoyed.
"I'll just drive in my own car and follow you guys", Finnick said, disgruntled.
"Fine by me", the leopard said.
Finnick followed Sheila, the leopard, and Ronaldo, the tiger, to their house. They went in her room and she looked at both Ronaldo and Finnick.
"So, here's the deal: Ronaldo, I want to have sex with you but, as we first get into it, I just want you to mouth words. Look like you're talking without...actually talking", Sheila said, "and that's where you'll come in, Finnick. I want you to say the words for him"
Finnick found this whole thing weird.
"So, you want me to basically talk for him?", Finnick asked.
"Yes", Sheila said.
"Will I get to actually, I dunno, have sex with you?", Finnick asked, doubting her true intentions.
"Uhh...yes", Shiela said, unassured, knowing that would never happen.
Suddenly the lady got on the bed while Ronaldo mouthed "Hey baby, you want a little walk on the wild side?" and Finnick said, "Hey baby, you want a little walk on the wild side?"
"Oh yes, I'd love that very much", Shiela said, almost orgasmically.
Ronaldo then mouthed "Well, what if I knew how to get you there?" while Finnick said, "Well, what if I knew how to get you there?"
"How do I get there?", Shiela said in a rather horny manner.
Ronaldo walked towards her and took his clothes and underwear off. As he did this, he mouthed "I'll walk you there!" while Finnick said "I'll walk you there!"
Then Ronaldo and Shiela had sex while Finnick watched. However, Ronaldo, being, umm, Ronaldo, didn't really know how sex worked. He just lied on top of her while inserting his penis into her vagina but didn't do much else.
"Okay, are you going to do anything else?", Shiela asked.
"This is how sex works, right? I just insert my penis into your vagina and that's it?", Ronaldo asked.
"No. You have to rock back and forth, you have to have an erection, there's a lot more to it than that", Shiela said.
Ronaldo started rocking back and forth a little bit but it was rather weak.
"Could...could you just get off of me?", Shiela said.
Ronaldo got off of her and sat down at the top of the bed.
"You've had sex before, right?", Shiela asked.
Ronaldo paused.
"You've never had sex before?", Shiela responded.
"No, this is...kinda my first time", Ronaldo said sheepishly.
"Y'know who has had sex before though? Me!", Finnick pointed out, "Maybe we can have sex instead!"
Shiela sighed.
"I'm sorry but...I can't", Shiela said.
"What?! Why?! It's not because of my height is it?! Because I'll let you know I've had sex with an elephant AND a giraffe and they both loved it!", Finnick protested.
"I'm sure they did but...you're just too cute for me. At first I wanted to have sex with you because of your really cool, hot, sexy voice but I just can't get attracted to you because of what you look like. I'm sorry but it feels like I'd be having sex with a baby", Shiela said.
Finnick got really, really angry. Sheila looked at Ronaldo.
"And you? You're just weird. You're so hot but your voice is annoying and you have no sexual experience whatsoever", Shiela said, "I'm sorry but I don't think I can do this with either of you".
This made Finnick berserk.
"Yeah, well I don't care, if a shallow bitch like you thinks she's too good for me, then I don't need you! I can find a lot of girls who'd LOVE to be with me!", Finnick shouted. Then he stormed out of the house.
Finnick was outside, smoking, angry about what just happened. Ronaldo walked out of the house too.
"Hey kid, sorry you're first time didn't go so well", Finnick said.
"Ohh, uhh, it's okay", Ronaldo said sheepishly, "also, I'm sorry that she used you like that".
"Yeah, well, it's fine", Finnick said, annoyed, "she's not the first mammal to judge me for my looks. Look kid, there'll be more girls in the future and I'm sure next time you'll find the right girl".
"Well, thanks", Ronaldo said, "and by the way, you look just fine to me", Ronaldo said, smiling.
"Really? Thanks kid", Finnick said, a little happier than usual.
Suddenly, a polar bear walked towards the house. He didn't see Finnick and was about to step on him when Ronaldo quickly picked him up. Then he went inside the house.
"Dammit kid, I was about to move out of the way. You didn't have to pick me up like I was some little kid", Finnick shouted.
This made Ronaldo upset.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were safe", Ronaldo said, pleading his case.
"Okay, just don't do stuff like that again", Finnick warned.
He then climbed up Ronaldo's arms and went on his shoulders.
"Though, now that I'm up here, could you take me to my van?", Finnick asked.
"Sure, I'd like that", Ronaldo said, walking towards his van.
"Hey Finnick, can we hang out? You seem like a cool guy", Ronaldo said.
"Ehh, I'll see. Though, you can hit me up on Furbook", Finnick said.
"I'll do that", Ronaldo said, "by the way, who do you think that polar bear was?"
"Maybe her Husband or Boyfriend", Finnick said, "It's probably for the best that it didn't work out because, for all we know, we might've been homewreckers"
And thus, an odd, odd friendship between two seemingly polar opposites was born.