Author's note: It looks purtey when I do this here. So the story is based on, quite obviously, A Great Big World's infamous Say Something. I don't how long would the story be. Originally, it was a one-shot but I thought andthought and thought about it. I was thinking maybe only two chapters, but then I wanted more. So maybe there'll be plenty or maybe this would serve as the first and last chapter. It's still undecided so hang on...
She seemed like the phantom of the meeting, sat quietly at the head of the table, her wine untouched, the papers for trade and approved laws unread. She would occasionally nod when the stares and the questions were turned to her, as if to agree to whatever they were discussing. And thankfully, none asked for her opinion. Their chatters weren't loud enough to distract her from her musings, not interesting enough to capture her attention. It was always like this, her gaze directed to the horizons, as if waiting for some answer to peek through the clouds, or possibly the sun that was slowly sinking down. And it wasn't because she showed no interest in her duties or the welfare of her people, but it was because her attention was completely directed to someone who had tried to take everything from her, including her sister, Anna. She knew he had no place or whatsoever in her little mind, and knew it was futile to even let her mind waver just to think of him, and especially worry about him the day after. She didn't know why her decision then made her uneasy. After all, it was what she had requested from none other than his father, King Henrik of the Southern Isles, as punishment for his misdeeds in Arendelle. And hadn't it been seen fit by her, the council, and especially Anna? But then again she didn't know him when he was on trial, unlike she knew of him now.
Blasphemous as it may, she saw light in him. And wasn't she always the perfect judge? Wasn't she the one who saw evil in him just as she was about to give in and bless the marriage? Moreover, she saw herself in him. Through his stories when they were both alone at midnight, hadn't he been that lost little boy who just wanted to prove everyone wrong? And wasn't he considered a monster, better yet, a disappointment to all of them? Hadn't he been like her? The isolated puny little heir who couldn't control the curse in her, who couldn't make her father proud, she mused, wasn't that just her? She had to sigh as she dropped her gaze, she shouldn't be thinking of that.
She stared at her hands in dismay, but then lifted her gaze to try, to at least try to take her mind off of him. She watched as Anna shifted in her seat and clear her throat to get everyone's attention, including Elsa's. With clear blue eyes, she watched her sister straighten her back and square her shoulders as if to intimidate the rest of the council members. She was tempted to raise a brow at this since both of them hadn't been the best of friends when she tried to tell her sister about her sudden change of heart.
"We are all aware that the traitor is to be hanged tomorrow…"
She couldn't even say his name.
Elsa shifted uncomfortably in her seat as the temperature began to drop a degree or two, but none of them seem to mind, especially her sister, for they were too caught up with the current topic. And none, she mused gratifyingly, noticed how her shoulders tensed and how her leg shook underneath the long table. She fought for control as blood thumped, thumped, and thumped disturbingly, filling her ears with the sensation of fear. Every knot she swallowed doubled, every nerve she tried to calm tensed, she didn't know what more she could do just to remove the antsy feeling that was profusely pestering her. She could feel sweat trickle down her spine as she tried so hard to ignore the names that were being thrown at him. She didn't know that she would be this upset.
Why should I pity him?
And though the answer was right there in front of her, she still chose to look away, thinking that it was absurd. She had to swallow once more as the room began to grow cooler and as new sinews of frost ran through the corners of the room, the table, and the windows that used to be as clear as crystal. But again, none seemed to mind the sudden change of ambience as they talked about the procedures to be done tomorrow. She watched them cautiously and oppressively as they interacted and counteracted with each other, and she had to grimace when she laid eyes on her sister who seemed more hell-bent than she was. Anna's blue eyes turned into a sinister tone as she rolled her eyes in displeasure, as she cringed at the suggestion the elderly made.
I don't think it's too brutal. After all, he did deserve the punishment, with airy confidence and with a hidden smirk underneath the thin layers of youth, she crossed her arms against her chest. The tap, tap, tap of her foot sounded through the silenced room as all eyes were turned to the queen, waiting for her knowing answer.
And she had to hide a cringe as she looked away with a shrug, obviously distracted. She faced the clock that sat between the candlesticks that were half used, watching the clock tick-tock-tick-tock away the time that has been pressuring her throughout the day.
Twelve hours left, she mused, and that light I saw would completely turn into dust.
She pressed her nails hard on her hands as new layers of frost traveled through the floor from her feet. The elderly shivered as they shifted uncomfortably on their chairs, obviously trying to find a warmer spot, but none dwelled and dared to grieve about the matter. Her sister kept her steely blue eyes on her as she dealt with the cold as if it never bothered her, as if it didn't feel like a thousand knives being pierced through her.
"Right?" the princess countered as she began to tap her foot menacingly on the hard wood floor that was now coated in thin layers of ice as if to annoy.
But Elsa only turned to give her a mere look of confusion then turned away to avoid the question. She let out an airy sigh of exasperation as she turned to look back at the clock that slowly ticked to her surprise.
"Right Elsa?" this time she added the edge that she was holding back for weeks as she sent daggers towards the queen who gave her a knowing look of slight understanding. She didn't even dare to address her sister Queen Elsa even though she knew it was illiberal of her to call her by her first name. She felt like she lost all the respect that she had for her.
She turned to meet her sister's steely blue eyes and pressed her hands firmly against her lap. "Yes, I suppose so." She agreed, though she knew she didn't know a thing about what was being asked for her. "If you may excuse me," She stood with undying grace as she glanced at the clock, and at the council members that were seated rightly with sealed lips. "Any questions that you feel the need to ask shall be addressed to the princess. I leave her in charge for I have more important matters to attend to." She gave a little bow and a small smile that ended up a grimace as she turned her back from them.
Is he more important to you than I am?
She closed her eyes in exasperation as she let out a sigh.
"Don't tell me you're going to him again." Her words were laced with venom as she stood and slapped her hand on the frosted table, startling everyone, barring Elsa.
Elsa bit her lip as she willed herself to remain calm, though she knew it was futile since her temper had been continually tipped for the past months. "My business shall remain my business. I ordered you to stay and you shall, whether you like it or not." She gritted her teeth as she balled her hands into fists.
"Why should I listen to you?" She retaliated as she jabbed a finger accusingly at her.
"That's enough." She warned as she felt the tips of her fingers grow unbearably cold.
"No, you're always running to him. I don't understand you. I don't even know you anymore, Elsa." Tears burned at the back of her eyes, but she swallowed the urge for the sake of pride.
Elsa hugged herself as snowflakes began to fall around her.
Conceal
And the mantra she had carried for fifteen years echoed through her mind once more, reminding her that she was not to lose control, again. "That's Queen Elsa, to you." She shot back as she turned to glare at her sister as if she was a child.
"Don't berate me like I am a child, because I'm not." She spat as she glowered at her sister, her nails digging into the table.
"Then don't act like one." She raised a brow. "If you are mature enough to speak ill of him, to speak ill of my decisions, then I expect you to be mature enough to accept the fact that nothing will ever go your way; that you are nothing but a princess, second in command to me." Words flew out of her mouth before she even thought of them, before she could even realize that what she had said was too afflictive.
And when she did, she only gave her sister a warning yet direful look as if she was a filthy criminal to be rid of her sight, before she turned away to leave the whole council, including Anna, in shock.
She gathered her skirts when she knew she was out of earshot, tears copiously streaming down her face like rivers. She didn't know what to do anymore, didn't know how to deal with everything in her plate prudently without offending anyone. She was just about done at being the ever so graceful queen everyone seemed to adore. She was just about done fending for everyone's welfare, for thinking about the greater good. She could only take so little stress and so little pain. After all, like anyone else, she was only human who has complicated feelings she has to deal with, who has relationships to rebuild and problems to rethink. She had things to weigh, and those things had brought her to her own downfall.
Her sobs echoed through the empty halls as the clicking of her feet rapped and disturbed whoever was sound asleep in the middle of the day. A thin trail of ice followed her through the halls as she made a run for it, as she ran to nowhere in particular. The maids narrowed their eyes at the damsel in distress, curious and concerned about the queen's state. Many supposes were thought, but all held their tongue, afraid to disrespect the young lady.
Elsa then found herself walking calmly in the depths of the dark and into the coldness the confined room offered with dry eyes and a red nose. She sniffed as she ignored the concerned looks her men had given her as she furrowed her eyebrows, questioning her own decision.
And of course, I had to run to him.
She had to swallow an oath as she took the torch that lit the dark hallway, gesturing for the guard on duty to unlock the gates and let her in to the dreaded dungeon she was once in. She had to smother the slight burn the wound had offered as she raised her chin in an effort to look rather intimidating than pitiful. Her hand rested on her side as heart thumped frenetically, filling her ears with the thump, thump, thump she was accustomed to when nearing his place. She drummed her cold fingers on her side painfully as she watched him unlock his cell hesitantly. She glared at him when he nearly retaliated, causing him to hold back his tongue in shame. With a shake of her head, she had let herself inside in the all too well cell the man she was – surprisingly – fond of stayed.
She pressed her eyes close as she tried to find her voice in the many layers of emotion that jumbled in her throat. But immediately she closed her mouth when he raised a dismissive hand to shun whatever blasphemy she was to say out.
"What are you doing here, Your Majesty?" He asked as he refused to move towards the light to reveal himself. He was just about done with the pitiful look she always sent him.
Elsa realized that he didn't bother to look up just like he used to, and when she was about to speak again, he had beat her to it once more.
"Another quarrel I suppose?" He asked as he looked her through his thick eyelashes, noticing how raw she looked right in front of him. "I'm not worth the fight, Your Grace. You know that, Anna knows that." My brothers know that.
Elsa had to swallow another knot as she avoided his dreadful gaze of self loathe. "But you are," She mumbled as she tried her best not to place a hand on his shoulder for comfort. "You can still change, I know that."
He had to press his eyes close as he muttered a silent oath. He knew Elsa wasn't going down without a fight. "No, you don't." He countered. "What makes you think that I have something to live for? I have nothing, Elsa. Nothing." He croaked as he felt the tears burn.
But you have me, darling. Don't you see?
"I see." But she didn't as she turned away from him. "Tomorrow's the day," She murmured as she tried her best not to give in to those emotions that swirled and swirled and swirled.
"I know," He mumbled as he pressed his hands to his chest, feeling that emotion burn.