Welcome, how are you?

Emmett: I'm great! Kinda in the mood to rip something up though...

Please refrain from ripping me up.

Emmett: Will do! So, interview time or what?

Oh yeah, so what ages are you all?

Edward: Well I'm seventeen in form but I am really 61.

Jasper: No you're not! You're 104.

Edward: ....SHUT UP!

Emmett: (laughs) Yeah, but at least he's not 130.

Jasper: 161 actually.

Whoa! You are so old! What age were you when you were bit?

Jasper: 21.

Emmett: Yeah. I'm the youngest Cullen. And the best looking. Apart from Rose of course.

Jasper: Two things. The first, Bella is the youngest Cullen. And the second, Alice is the best looking Cullen.

Edward: Plus Rosalie is a Hale. Hey! Wait a second, I'm the best looking Cullen!

Uh, sure. Next question, do you believe that we are going to Heaven or do you think that you're all going to Hell?

Emmett: That all depends on whether or not Carlisle will see this.

No! I wouldn't do that to you guys.

Emmett: In that case I believe in Heaven but I don't think that we can get in.

Edward: Dude, you totally stole my philosophy! Give it back!

Emmett: Ah, nah. Don't think I will thanks.

Edward: Fine! I'm just gunna say that I thought of it first and that Emmett stole it.

Jasper: I think that you guys are all gunna get in but I don't think that I can.

Emmett: Uh, stop saying that! You're sorry! Carlisle keeps saying that that makes a difference!

Jasper: Thought that you didn't believe that any one of us is getting in!

Emmett: I don't.

Jasper: Then why are you yelling at me?

Edward: Uh, you are both so immature.

(Emmett picks up a cushion and throws it at him)

Jasper: You know, you're kind of proving his point by doing that.

Emmett: I could easily throw one at you too you know. Do you want that? Do you? 'Cause that's the way this conversation's headed!

Ok, I'm gunna ask you the next question to spare Jasper getting killed.

Jasper: Hey! I could take him any day!

Emmett: (snorts)Sure Jazz.

Jasper: I could! I have done.

Emmett: You never.

Jasper: Oh yeah? Remember when Victoria attacked? Who was the better fighter there?

Emmett: Since I didn't get bitten on the arm, I'm gunna say moi.

Jasper: (mutters) I meant before the actual battle.

Edward: HAHAHA!!!

Jasper: Shut up! You weren't actually planning on fighting.

Okay, calm down Jasper. Anyway, on to my next question. This one is just for Emmett and Jasper. There are a LOT of rumours that are saying you two are... kinda gay. Is it true?

(Edward bursts into a fit of giggles)

Emmett: Who was it came up with that rumour!? 'Cause the last time that happened I nearly had to get a divorce!

Edward: Yeah, that was hilarious! I laughed so hard that day.

Jasper: When I find the person that started that rumour, so help me...

(Edward looks shifty and moves around a bit. Both turn to look at him)

Emmett: I don't need Jasper's power to know that you are acting shifty.

Jasper: One, two, three. YOU'RE DEAD CULLEN!!!

(Edward runs away and Jasper and Emmett follow)

A little while later.

(They enter and Edward is missing his arm)

Edward: Come on guys. It was only a joke. I'm sorry!

Jasper: I'll believe that when I feel it.

Edward: At least tell me where you hid my arm.

Emmett: No chance!

So, Edward. Before the interview I had conversation with Renesmee. She said that you often use Bella as a slave. Is that true?

Edward: No! I would never use Bella like that.

(Bella enters and approaches Edward)

Bella: I finished cleaning up the forest beside our house. Is there anything else I can do?

Jasper: (mutters to Emmett) She may as well call him master.

Edward: Uh, no Bella. You go enjoy yourself.

Bella: I can't enjoy myself without you there. Will you come?

Edward: Well, I'm in an interview and I only have one arm. But I'll come after. Go find Renesmee and my arm. I need to talk to her later.

Well, thanks guys. That is all I needed.

Edward: No problem at all. Now, the small matter of payment.

Jasper: What do you need money for? You've got lots of it.

Edward: Yes but I don't do interviews for free. Amateurs like you do interviews for free.

Jasper: Whatever.

Emmett: You are WAY too old to say whatever.

Jasper: Okay, Carlisle says whatever. Why do you always tell me that I'm too old to say these things? I'm like, half his age!

Emmett: Exactly. Once you get over 300 then people start to not give a ****.

Edward: Language Emmett. We don't want to offend grandpa Jasper.

Jasper: I was thinking about giving you your arm back, but now you aren't ever getting it back.

(All get up and leave, still talking)

Edward: Oh come on! Give it back. I'll tell Alice and she'll come yell at you!

Jasper: Go ahead. I'll tell her that use your wife as a slave.

Edward: I'll tell her that you pulled off my arm and then got Emmett to hold me while you hid it.

Emmett: (Muttering to himself) Y' know, he's too old to say like as well.

Jasper: (growls) Shut It!