Sara found herself on a patterned bedspread, small bottles of alcohol littered around her. Her hair a disheveled mess atop her head, her eyes blank and teary. She crumpled up another piece of paper, tossing it into the garbage can at the far corner of the room.
It had been three days already. Three days in total silence, except for the muffled voices in the room next to hers. Three days of sleeping, drinking and worrying. Wondering what she would do now and where she would go. Contemplating whether to fade out or stay in the game.
Her cell phone began to vibrate again.
She knew who it was, but she just couldn't answer it right now.
He had already left five messages, his voice sounding as if all the desperation in the world had settled there.
She was desperate too.
Desperate to find answers to questions she couldn't even begin to understand.
Again, her cell phone began to vibrate, now doing a tiny dance across the wood top of the nightstand.
She grabbed for it, turning it off.
She sat there staring down at it, wondering what Grissoms face looked like as he worried about her. Did she really want to make him feel that much pain?
She turned it back on quickly, her fingers finding the keypad as she pressed in his number.
"Grissom." his voice sounded pained.
She was silent at her end.
"Sara," he said into the phone, his voice hesitant, "where are you honey?"
She still stayed silent.
He stayed silent.
She listened to him breath.
"I can't." she said softly, her fingers finding her pen again, "I've caused you too much worry, Gil. I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"No." he said, "No, Sara. You've given me love." he sighed from his end, "So much love."
"Pain." she felt her lips quiver, her eyes brimming with new tears, "So much pain."
"Just tell me where you are." he said softly.
Sara looked about the room, her eyes blurry, "I don't know." she said and then began to sob uncontrollably.
"Baby." he said even softer now, "Please help me find you."
Sara closed her hand around a clump of bedspread, bringing it to her face to wipe at the tears. She sucked in a panicked breath, letting it out slowly, her whole face constricted with pain, "Days Inn." she said quietly between sobs, "Somewhere."
His end was silent.
She wiped more tears on the blanket, her eyes irritated from the roughness of the fabric. Was he still there?
She could hear the clicking of keys.
He was on his computer.
"Can you look in the nightstand drawer, Sara?" he asked now, "See if there is an address on the letterhead or a pen or something?"
She felt her shaky hand grab for the drawer handle, "Are you at work?" she asked in a strained voice, her tears still tracing paths down her cheeks.
"Home." he said.
She grabbed a pad of paper from the drawer interior and read the address out to Grissom.
He breathed a sigh of relief from his end.
Sara began to tremble all over, her hand now buried deep in her hair as she listened to his voice, "I'm coming, okay?" he said, "Don't leave me again, Sara." he sounded as if he were pleading, "Please, just stay there."
She was silent.
"I love you." he said.
She stayed silent, her mind willing her tears to stop.
"Sara?" he questioned when she didn't say anything.
She could hear him fumbling about, "I'll stay." she found herself saying quietly, "But I don't want you losing your job over this."
"I'd rather lose my job, than lose you." he said quietly, "I love you so much."
She smiled into the phone.
"I'm on my way." he said.
Sara hung up her phone, not really sure if she would be there when he arrived.