Author's Note: Hello all! I've been so busy with Biology classes and Labs, working out, as well as transitioning jobs so I haven't even been watching Grey's. But I do specifically get clips of these two which fill my soul with delight. :) This fic has been sitting in my files for a bit, inspired by a prompt of Jackson and April moving in together, which I wrote before the series premiere. (Definitely not cannon) I decided to edit it, revamp some stuff, and submit to you guys. Let me know what you think. xoxo
"Follow the signs right back to you
Back to you, back to you
I know they wind right back to you
Back to you, back to you
I trust the signs so I may find my way to you"
Month Two
Jackson Avery awoke with a stir. The weight he had nestled in his arm had been removed suddenly, and he quickly sat up, hitting his head on the back of his- *April's*- couch. April glanced at him, holding their bundle of joy.
"Oh, I'm sorry Jackson, I didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to put her to bed," she smiled a secret smile, and he wondered how he fell asleep in the first place. Surgeries, taking care of Harriet, it all added up after all.
Things had been tense at first. But he got in a rhythm of doing things. April scheduled her surgeries in the mornings, he scheduled them at night. Weekends were tough, but they mostly ended in Jackson spending the night over her place from pure exhaustion. Raising a newborn was tough and they deviated from their original plan, strictly due to the mental exertion it caused both of them. Jackson was actually glad for the interruption in his life. He was tired of thinking when he should be moving on to another woman, and he didn't even want to imagine April with anyone else. His mind was still stuck on her not telling her about the pregnancy before the divorce. It was heartbreaking to see that they let the death of their child tear them apart. He thought there was too much bad blood between them, that this couldn't be fixed, but maybe…
"You okay, Jax?" She snapped him out of his train of thought and he glanced up to catch her eye.
"Yeah I was just thinking…"
"You have time to think through all that snoring? What about?" She asked, bouncing Harriet on her hip, motioning him to walk with her to the crib. He followed her, unable to keep the smirk off his face when he saw them together. She really had a mother's touch. With the two of them against him, he knew he might be powerless to say no.
"Well wouldn't it be easier if I just. I don't know… Moved back in?" Her eyes shot wide open and she turned around. "Look I know what you are thinking. But it would be pointless for you to hire a live in, or have your mom come up all the way here three days a week like we've been trying to do. At least until the baby stops keeping you up all night, I think this would be a good fit."
She didn't answer him, instead she tucked a sleepy Harriet in her crib. April grimaced. The first month was difficult of course. Jackson didn't make it easy. Especially when Arizona made a joke about how Jackson thought she knew he had started dating other people, and then the bomb got dropped that April was indeed preggo. She rolled her eyes. And Jackson really wondered why she didn't tell him about the pregnancy before she signed the papers. Jerk. He was so eager to move on he threw himself out there, how could he not know she was no where near the dating stage. She might not ever be. She married the only man she wanted to be with, and he chose divorce. Okay, Jackson's not all bad, the one thing she can vouch for on his end is he has been a great father. She almost wishes none of this had happened, but God does have a plan. And it brought this unexpected blessing into their lives. Albeit, apart, but if Jackson kept saying these things, she was sure she would be powerless to his whims. She's surprised they haven't had sex yet. The main reason being pure tiredness. And she does have standards. Maybe. Having Jackson move in would just have her confused. Lately he's been falling asleep over the apartment and giving her and the baby google eyes. How could she keep her feelings strictly platonic when he was sprawled out on the couch with their baby? Or cooking breakfast for her? Or slipping into her bed at night claiming the mattress was too hard. She snapped out of her reverie and decided to be cold about the ordeal.
"I mean, this is your apartment, Jackson. How can I refuse you from your own place?" She said, with a tone. She had tried to get him to come back for so long, to stay in their home, but he had moved out of his own place. She still felt kind of bitter that it took their kid to get him back and interested in even being remotely around her.
"April come on that was in the past. I'm here now, I'm ready to work on things. The baby needs the both of us at this time," he started.
"Yeah, okay. I don't want to argue I already said yes. For Harriet. Anything else, you need to leave out, Jackson. I'm serious. We don't need to hash up anything from the past."
There was still serious baggage, they both knew that. The divorce was always dangling in between, like this bad memory of what had happened. He wished she would forgive and forget anything Samuel related. He has. He put that in a box of things to never talk about ever again. At least she was giving him a chance to be there for their child. It's all he could ask for.
Month 9
"Hello, this is the Kepner residence, how can I help you?" Jackson said, trying not to laugh answering the landline.
"Jackson? Is this Jackson on the phone? I need to speak to April," April's mom said suspiciously. Jackson's smile immediately faded. He was not prepared for the conversation of why Jackson would be picking up April's phone on a Thursday night at 11pm prompted.
He hurriedly went into her bedroom to wake her up. "Hey, emergency, code blue. Your mom!"
She jumped out of bed to go answer the phone. "Mom, hey what's wrong? I'm putting on my coat now and I will be out the door to come see you."
"April. No, I just wanted to know if the baby looks better in lavender or turquoise. I'm online and they're having a flash sale on Toy's R Us."
"What?"
"Although, now it seems we should be talking about why Jackson Avery is over your place at such a late time in the evening. Are you guys-"
"Oh god, Mom. Wow, that is none of your business."
"I mean, I wouldn't exactly be adverse to you guys getting married again. April, you know no one has gotten divorced in our family and I just think that this baby is the saving grace your marriage needed. You know, God has a way of-"
"And, I'm hanging up now. Love you, bye."
"April, wait I'm just saying that I think the two of you should renew-"
Click.
She turned around to find him staring at her with wonder. She tucked her hair behind her ear. "What are you looking at?" She asked before walking away. He had been giving her, the look, more frequently lately and she just needed to get far from him when he did that. There had been far too many "what if's" conspiring with them and she really didn't want to complete the idea. But her will power was disappearing by the second. The baby was finally settling down and getting used to them. He had no reason to stay here anymore. In truth, he was suffocating her. Being around all the time, she was losing her mind. She needed him to move out. Her mom's phone call, was in reality a wake up call. But how would she be able to articulate that to him?
She decided to talk about it with him now, when they collided. "I'm sorry." He mumbles, holding her up.
He was close to her, too close. Word vomit would ensue.
But instead of words, he was still holding on to her, pulling her in, and the next seconds his lips were on her, encompassing her every nerve ending and making her stomach flip. She moved her hands up, wrapping her arms around his neck, needing him.
"Will you go on a date with me?" He asked as soon as they broke apart. "Please, April I just. I need you to be mine again." His face was open, and sincere. He was even smiling and once again giving her, the look. So he's been feeling this way for awhile then?
Wow. Extreme word vomit. She jerked herself out of his embrace and folded her arms around herself. He wanted to go on a date? Why? When? How? Had he really just kissed her? She touched her lips, thinking.
Both of them were stunned. Jackson nodded his head slowly. Had he really misinterpreted her signals? The other day she had practically been in her underwear, only wearing a fleece see through gown over it, and they had almost kissed after dinner. She kept dropping things accidentally and that combined with the red wine had him hot and bothered. He was always a touchy feely drinker. "Sorry I guess I must have misunderstood. These past few weeks have me feeling so confused. I just- I wish we could go back and change what happened." He felt his face get hot over her questioning stare. This was all complicated. The only thing he knew, is that they were supposed to be married and have a kid. The more he thought about the divorce, he started to realize their relationship being broken was all his fault. He would do anything to make that sad look on her face disappear.
"It's too soon, Jackson. We can't erase the past, we need to heal. I'm not ready, and I certainly don't have time. Actually I think it would be better if you, maybe, moved out. The baby has been so good these past few months and I just think we both need space. And once we have that space, maybe we will end up together." She mumbled the last part hoping he didn't hear.
There was hope. They did things pretty backwards. They were best friends, fucked, pregnancy scare, broke up. Then she got engaged, he ruined her wedding, and then they had their own marriage. Cue their dead child then the divorce, then she gets pregnant from therapy sex. Where do they go from here? Two broken people navigating life with a baby. Perhaps moving out would be good for them to date.
Year Two
"Jackson, come over now! It's important I need you here," April exclaimed hurriedly from the phone.
He had gotten a place in the same neighborhood, just in case of emergencies. Apparently like this one. "Wait, is Harriet okay? What's wrong?" He asked nervously.
"Just get over here, stupid." Click.
The door was unlocked so he rushed in but saw no one. The only light on in the whole apartment came from the… bathroom? Poking his head in, he saw his green eyed child sitting on her baby potty.
"Dad-da, I waited for you to use potty," Harriet said smiling.
He kneeled down next to April on the floor rolling his eyes. "I am missing too much."
"Hey I called you as soon as she had to go. I wanted you," she took his hand in hers, and her words seemed to take on a different meaning. She moved forward to kiss him. He was shocked at first, but deepened the kiss. It felt natural, like taking a breath of fresh air. He grabbed her waist and pulled her on top of him, reveling in the feeling of her closeness again.
"Me want kisses," the toddler demanded. They both pulled away quickly, embarrassed. How long had it been since they'd been affectionate? Years. Especially not in front of Harriet.
Jackson looked away. Why did April kiss him? Was she finally ready for a relationship? He sure as hell was. They were just extremely comfortable with each other. Finally real parents. It was almost Christmas time and they really didn't handle split Christmas very well. Whatever happened, they would figure it out. They always did. Sitting on the bathroom floor with Harriet and April, he had never felt more lucky in his life.
