I've never done a songfic before, and I'll probably never do one again, but just this once (unless people tell me they like it), I thought I'd give it a go.
Apologies to my Star Trek readers- I am still writing the next chapter, and am half way through the one after that, but have hit an annoying stumbling block I'm trying to work around. Should come within the week though! Promise!
Disclaimer... we all know it...
The song by the way, is Goo Goo Dolls, 'Iris'.
0000000000000000000000000
And I'd give up forever to touch you
He had all the time in the world. She didn't. But he swore to himself with a strengthening resolve each day that if he could, he would give up the rest of his time for her. He loved her.
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
It astounded him that without him saying anything, she seemed to know exactly how he needed her, felt for her.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
His Bad Wolf. His saviour. His angel. She was everything he needed.
And I don't want to go home right now.
Yes, there was a gaping void where Gallifrey had been, and the touch of his people in his mind was now quiet, but she soothed the screams, helped him to move on. He would never forget his home, but the engulfing darkness had begun to lessen now that she was here.
He remembered how he had given up one more portion of forever for her.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
He kissed her, breathing in her life combined with the vortex. The two beings that gave his life meaning flowed between them at that point in time, which just for the interminable now, had no meaning. It was forever and it was never.
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight.
Humans withered and died in a pitiful amount of time compared with a Time Lord's life-span, but with her, and their constant running- not always from enemies, but sometimes from the obvious- he was beginning to learn how to live in the moment. He loved that she taught him that- it fitted with his non-domesticity policy nicely. He would hold her while he had the chance to, but would love her far longer than that.
And I don't want the world to see me
After the war, he truly believed that he was a hideous monster, and that his nightmares were the opportunities that the monster inside needed to remind him of what he was. He hid from other beings for a long time. He travelled restlessly, purposely meandering around the harshest parts of the universe, believing that that was all he should have. He avoided the low-lifers that crowded the darkened alleyways he stumbled down, not because he was afraid of them, but because they were too good for him. He would contaminate them with his evil. He was no better than a Dalek.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
No one could understand what he'd been through, not even his previous forms.
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
But she did.
She broke through the barriers that a dark existence had created.
In the end, he wanted her to know him, even though he never had the words to tell her. She knew anyway. That was part of what made her so... her...
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
He kept it all in, hiding behind crazy grins and wild, erratic behaviour, and moments of insanity.
Or the moment of truth in your lies
But all that was wasted on her because she could read him like a book. His mouth told her scientific facts and smiled his way through everything. His eyes and actions told the truth, and another story. She should have been a professional poker player- she easily read his every action, not ignoring what he said, but reading the two together. The moment of truth in the lies.
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
They ran together, feeling alive together. He shared it all with her, as she did with him in return. There were accidents and injuries, and more than a few close shaves, but they always burst in through those blue doors together, breathless and laughing. They would talk about whatever they had just seen and done, but neither would listen to the words, but to the pattern of three hearts, felt through the TARDIS' telepathic field.
Together, they were alive. She told him that she wouldn't have missed it for the world, no matter what happened to her. She'd have wanted it anyway.
Truth be told, he felt the same. At least, when all was said and done, he would have had her, even when her time ran out.
And I don't want the world to see me
But as she lost her grip on that lever, a blind, half-dead fool would have been able to see him.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
And in that moment, they would all understand him
When everything's made to be broken
His heart was destroyed as he listened to that scream...
I just want you to know who I am
Catching her eye one last time, they knew each other.
Each with their cheek pressed as close as they could be to each other now, but with only a cold wall instead of warm flesh
I don't want the world to see me
Unable to see each other
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
They both understood
When everything's made to be broken
Everything had its time and its place.
But now it was gone.
I just want you to know who I am