The Cost of Winning.
By LamaPie
He knew it would happen, that one day the Dark Lord would die, that his cold glistening red eyes would dim as light fled from them and he would be left as nothing more than a corpse: a cold lump of vulnerable, rotting flesh.
He also knew he would be to blame. He would be the reason this evil, sadist, asshole would be dead. He knew it was the right thing to do, to fight against the darkness, to help the light…to save the world. And that once saved it would return to normal. No-one would spare a though for who the Dark Lord left behind.
He knew he would feel guilt, waves upon waves of it, more than he had felt for the wizards and witches, good or evil, that had faced the end of his wand or breathe their last breath at his hands.
What he didn't know, what he wished he had know was the pain of losing the one person he loved and the monster he hated. The man, who had held him… and the monster, who left a young child lying in its own blooded filth.
They were two souls in the one body. The man and the monster.
Now his soul was beginning to split. He had a choice, become the spy who had killed the Dark Lord and the man who had betrayed his beloved in the worst way… or send both the worlds to hell because if his selfish need to be loved.
It wasn't too late to make up his mind. The light though their plan was perfect. Get the potter brat to brew a poison and have their little spy administer it. What they hadn't counted on was Severus loyalty… but he had done it, the poison had been administer and in less then ten minutes his lover would drop dead.
Unless Severus gave him his life back, that which a potion was about to take it away. But another potion, one he had in his pocket, would give it back.
So what was he to do? Save the world and doom his heart or save his heart and doom the world.
The answer was easy, after all Severus Snape had never cared for the majority, but Severus just didn't know who he would be saving: the Man or the Monster?
"Severus, what's wrong?" Tom Riddle, the man, asked him, his pale hand caressing Severus cheek. Severus, who had been lying on his back staring at the ceiling above his, rolled over and faced his lover.
"Nothing love," Severus replied, pushing his slim lips light against Tom's. "Nothing at all."
"Come on love, know something is wrong." Tom sat up and prompting Severus to lay against him. "You don't have to keep your secrets from me." he whispered, his arms encircling Severus waist.
Severus swallowed hard. "Really love, I'm fine." he replied. The tone in his voice told Tom that he was anything but fine.
"Severus I…" Tom stopped mid sentence, noticing the single tear falling from Severus left eye. Tom decided not to push his lover, knowing the man never like to be open about his feelings. All Tom knew was that right now, at this very moment, his lover needed him, not to ask questions, not to ask if he was alright, when it was obvious he wasn't, but to hold him… to love him.
"Severus" he started again, tightening his hold on said man. "I'm here for you, no matter what is wrong, whatever has happened, I'll always be here for you.'
More tear fell from Severus's eyes.
A sob escaped from his throat.
He felt Tom rest his head on Severus shoulder's, whispering kind words, words of love into his ear, telling him that everything would be alright, no matter what, no matter how bad things got Tom would always love him.
"Tom?" Severus asked, his voice shaking slightly.
"What is it love?" Tom asked, moving a strand of Severus hair from his face.
"What time is it?"
"12:34, love." Tom replied.
He only had five minutes left. Slowly his hand reached into his pocket, his long potion-stained fingers clenching the vile within. He began to withdraw his hand, then stopped. His mind flashed once more to the child. He had been young, one of his student, though Severus could not for the life of him remember the boy's name. If he saved the Dark Lord now how many more would meet the same fate? With the slight hesitation he let the bottle fall from his grasp.
"Tom, could I have some of your wine?"
Tom smiled a sad smile. "Of course," Tom said, pushing Severus off his body and standing, leaving his lover to rest against the bed head. "Let me get you a glass."
"No!" Severus shouted, causing Tom to turn back towards his lover. "I want some of yours, only a sip, please?" Severus begged.
Tom smiled down at his lover and handed him the glass of wine that had been sitting on his bedside table. He watched as Severus rose the glass to his lips, his hands shacking. Something passed through Severus eyes, a glitter of determination. He watched as Severus tip the red wine into his mouth, his lips closing as he swallowed the drink.
"I'm so sorry." Severus whimpered, throwing the glass aside and moving his hands to his face to hide the tears flowing from his cheeks.
"Severus, love, what is it?" Tom asked genuinely confused, if not a little scared. His lover was never one to cry, but he was only human. Sorry, however, was not something Tom had ever heard from him before. Tom rushed to Severus side, cradling the weeping man to his chest.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Tom." Severus muttered, leaning into tom's embrace.
"Severus what's wrong? What ever are you sorry for?" Tom asked.
"I killed you" He whispered. "I couldn't let you live, so I" he chocked on his words." I killed you."
Tom chuckled. "Love I'm right here you couldn't of killed me."
"Your wine." was the almost silent reply. And now Tom understood.
He was about to die.
He wanted to yell and rant. He wanted to hurt Severus, to snap every bone is his body until his was begging for death. He wanted to take the man, hit him, punch him. He wanted nothing more than to tell Severus he was a horrible traitor. To tell him he hated him, that he was a worthless piece of scum, how would rue this day.
But as soon as he open his mouth to do so, his eyes opened to and what he saw stop every unkind though he had.
Severus sat still in his arms, waiting for the hated, the malice that he knew was coming. His body was shaking with guilt, his teary face still hidden behind his hands. He was already rueing this day.
"Severus" Tom said. The lack of anger in that voice made Severus look up. "I forgive you." he said, tears now falling from his own eyes. "And I love you. No matter what happens, I will always lov …" Tom began to chock, falling onto Severus. Onyx met Ruby. 'Love… y-you.' With a final chocking sound the light faded from Tom's eye's.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm…" he chanted over and over again waiting for the potion to kill him, his tears drenching his lover's unmoving body.
He was left behind, morning the loss of the man he had loved more so than monster he had killed. The minutes seemed like hours as his heart burn with sorrow.
He could hear it now, the world celebrating, singing his praises, while all he wanted to do was die. And he would. For him the cost of winning was much too high.
"I love you." he whispered, cling to the cold corpse of his love, his heart breaking into two, killing him before any potion could.
That night the world celebrated. Young children dance in the streets, not truly knowing why. Adults cheered for the killing of a monster. The boy-who-lived celebrated a freedom like he had never known. The world was free, but no-one truly knew the price of their freedom.