Robbie hesitated before he knocked on the door. Rubbing his fingers around his collar and loosening his tie as he looked back at his car - he should have rung first, he had never just turned up before. What if she was busy? Busy, living that life of hers she was always quick to allude to. He thought about turning around completely and going home without interrupting her. But home was too empty, too quiet. He knew he needed a distraction, and Laura's home was where he had driven to without being aware of making a conscious decision. This was where he obviously wanted to be, and if Laura was busy or had company he could make his excuses and leave. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand and knocked. "Robbie. Hi, what brings you here?" Laura smiled as she greeted him, but then she noticed how he looked. Pale, tired and edgy, fidgeting as if he didn't want to, or couldn't stand still. "Robbie? Are you OK? Come inside, talk to me" she opened the door fully, encouraging him to enter. Still he hesitated, "I'm sorry, I should have rung, I don't want to interrupt your evening", the expression on his face as he spoke pulled at her. Stepping forward she slipped an arm around his back, "you're not, come inside - you can help me make dinner". With gentle pressure, she got him to enter her home, guiding him towards the kitchen.
Laura wasn't sure if she should question what brought Robbie here, or if it would be better to let him tell her at his own pace. She watched as he continued fidgeting, his eyes flicking around the room as he rocked on his feet. Coming to the conclusion that forcing the issue could send him back out the door, she decided on the latter. "How are you with a knife?" The unusual question served its purpose and Robbie brought his gaze to hers, frowning as he asked "knife?" Laura laughed at him, "if I'm going to feed you, the least you can do is help me make it. There are no free meals in this house." Robbie shrugged, "fair enough, but I should warn you that I'm not much of a cook. I make no promises that what I make will be edible". Showing him the ingredients already out on the side, Laura said "I'll take that risk - you start chopping the veg while I sort the rest". Walking away from him, she occupied herself with getting the other items from the fridge, opening the bottle of wine she had planned to go with the simple stir fry. While she worked, she talked to him, telling him of her decision earlier to cook something simple. A week on call had meant a week of missed meals or snatched takeaways; tonight she was off duty and she was determined to savour a healthier option.
By the time they sat down to eat Robbie looked better. He felt calmer too. Doing something had kept his mind busy, stopped his thoughts from drifting to the case that he had walked away from. The sound of Laura's voice had helped too, keeping him in the kitchen with her even if the conversation was one-sided. He knew she had deliberately just talked out loud, not expecting him to join in and not saying anything that needed him to answer. Putting his fork down, he reached across to where her fingers toyed with the stem of her wine glass. Touching the tip of a finger to the back of her hand he spoke softly "you're a good friend Laura, this is just what I needed. Thank you." The word friend stung, a direct contrast to the way her pulse reacted to his slight touch. With effort, Laura managed to smile, her voice as soft as his as she replied "anytime".
Still not quite ready to tell Laura everything, but needing to talk Robbie kept their conversation light while they ate. Sticking to food and drink, and her plans for the weekend saw them through their meal. Afterwards as they cleared away their plates he surprised her by saying "I miss this". Laura turned towards him smiling "you miss doing my dishes?" Robbie gave a wry smile "no, not doing this exactly, just having someone to distract me. I'd forgotten how Val used to use similar tactics". Abandoning the dishes, Laura picked up her wine glass and leant back against the sink. As she took a large sip, she hid her disappointment that he was still not ready and asked "what else did she do?" His reaction was to laugh, picking up his own glass before replying "god, what didn't she do is more like it. She made me help her with dinner, fold the washing or put it away. If keeping busy didn't work, she would pick a fight over something she'd claim I'd missed or hadn't done - she could argue black was white if it helped me talk to her. And then there was..." he stopped suddenly, embarrassed at just what he was going say and he looked at Laura sheepishly. "Its OK Robbie, you can say sex in front of me; as distraction techniques go its a good one," she grinned mischievously before adding "a really good one".
Laughing at both his embarrassment and the look on Laura's face, Robbie felt better than he had all day. Laura had been exactly what he needed, and he owed her an explanation. Twisting his glass between his fingers he began to talk "it was a car accident, a woman out shopping in the wrong place at the wrong time". Laura put her glass down, her hand reaching out to caress his arm "hit and run?" "No. It was just a tragic accident - a kid ran out into the road, the driver swerved and hit the woman instead. She was the same age as Val when she died, out shopping for birthday presents. The circumstances were just too similar not to bring it all back. By the time we were finished, I didn't want to go home and a pint with James didn't appeal. I don't remember deciding to come here, but I'm glad I did." Laura gently squeezed his arm, "me too. Come on, fill these glasses and I'll show you what I do when a case hits too close to home". Robbie briefly considered refusing the wine, before her words sunk in. Laura had no one to distract her, she'd had to find a way to deal with cases on her own. Deciding he could always call a taxi he picked up his glass, and the bottle, and followed Laura outside.
She didn't stop at the chairs on the patio, instead she headed for the wooden swing. Placing the bottle on the ground he settled beside her, rocking them softly as he got comfortable. "So, what's your answer on days like this?" He turned towards her, watching as she let her head rest against the back of the seat, eyes closing as she took a deep breath. "Similar to what we've just done. I make myself cook - something light to eat but complicated to make. Something that distracts me until I've eaten. Then, I come out here, under the stars. Focusing on them helps put things into prospective - they were up there the last time I had a bad day and they'll be there the next time". Robbie mimicked her pose, looking up at the blue, summers night sky he soon spotted the problem with her solution "there aren't any stars Laura". She turned her head, opened her eyes to see him watching her "they're still there Robbie even if we can't see them - shining brightly whether its daytime or a cloudy night. Always there, a constant to hold on to. They don't make a case easier to understand, or to forget, but knowing that they're there gives me the quiet I need to sleep, to go back to work the following day."
Robbie watched her, wondering how many nights she'd sat out here on her own; putting cases to bed with only a glass of wine and the stars for company. He knew Laura had kept an eye on him, warning James if she thought a case had a connection but he hadn't considered that Laura might need comfort too. "Ring me, next time you need the stars" he said, the words heavy between them. Laura thought for a while before saying "its OK Robbie, you don't have to return the favour. Tonight isn't about keeping score". "That's not what I meant. I want to help distract you, I want you to distract me. I want us both to have someone to ring, not just the next time but every time. Promise me?" He had taken hold of her hand as he spoke, his voice gruff as he tried to make her understand. Laura looked down at her hand, securely held in his then looked into his eyes, all pleading and serious. Moving closer she whispered "do you really want to do my dishes?" He caught the glint in her eyes, and knew she was just trying to lighten the moment. Two could play that game "are you really going to fold my shirts?" "God, no I have a woman for that!" Laura laughed at the thought, "I'll just have to resort to picking a fight instead". Thinking about how he'd ended up at Laura's, and how right her hand felt in his Robbie took a chance " there's always another...technique we could try" and slowly closing the distance, he kissed her.