The gundam gang and the worst cast Broadway review in history. I don't own gundam wing nor do I own any of it's characters. The songs in this fic do not belong to me either. If I screw up any of the lyrics please forgive me. I don't have the librettos to all these shows.
Authoress and authoress' friends sit out in the audience. Mariemaya steps out onto the stage. She is in the spotlight.
Authoress: *gasp* it is the ultimate evil!!!! Mariemaya will be singing "Tomorrow" from "Annie"!!!!! Mariemaya is scary by herself we don't need her to sing a scary song from a scarier show. Someone save us!
Mariemaya starts singing in annoying nasal squeaky girl voice
The sun will come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that
Tomorrow they'll be sun
Just thinking about tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow
Till there's none
Tomorrow tomorrow
I love ya tomorrow
Your always a day away
Authoress: Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!
Friend 1: I am scarred for life!
Authoress: Why did we choose this song?
Friend 2: Because every review needs a little girl song, and we didn't want to ruin "Castle on a Cloud".
Authoress: Oh.
Friend 1: What's up next?
Authoress: *looks at clipboard* Um are you really sure you want to know?
Friend 1: Yes!
Authoress: Are you really really sure?
Friend 1: YES!!
Authoress: Okay but don't say I didn't warn you. Trowa's singing "Let Me Entertain You"
Friend 1: Okay I didn't want to know.
Authoress: I warned you but did you listen? Nooooooo.
Trowa walks out on stage and sings very dryly. Trowa starts dancing the little happy dance. (If you've seen Gypsy you know what I mean if not just picture the Shirley Temple dance)
Let me entertain you
Let me make you smile...
Catherine: Sing out Louis, sing out! I mean sing out Trowa! Sing out!
Friend 1: Thank G-d you didn't cast toreadorables in this number.
Authoress: This is almost too painful.
Friend 1: No Broadway review could be complete with out a stage mother-er sister.
...So let me entertain you
And we'll have a real good time
Yes sir
We'll have a really good time
Authoress: This just keeps getting worse and worse.
Friend 3: Is that song supposed to be entirely flat?
Friend 1: No.
Authoress: Up next we have, Wufie and company performing "Creation of Man"
Wufie marches on stage in a pink sparkly 18th century suit with lots of lace and a big hat with a big pink feather. Gundam boys follow him on stage with simular looking outfits.
Friends: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wufie: Injustice! How dare you onna, make me wear PINK!!!!!!!!!!
Authoress: *giggle* I think *giggle* you look *giggle* wonderful Wufie *giggle*
Wufie: This costume is weak! This song is weak! It is not honorable enough for me to perform it!
Authoress: Well if you want I can put you in dress and you can sing "I Hate Men"
Wufie: *scowls* Cruel onna.
Authoress: *grins* I knew you would see things my way. Now places everyone cue music.
Music starts and g-boys attempt to dance in a line. They fail...miserably. Then Wufie begins to sing horribly out of tune
...If you're out to make a splash cheri
Do know your haberdashery
Buttons, buckles and lace
Represent the human race
La, but someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well tailored clothes
each species has a sex that's fated
To be highly decorated
That is why the lord created men!
Friends 1, 2, and 3: *fall over laughing*
Wufie: Injustice! Evil onna!
Authoress: Thank you!
Wufie growls and walks out and the rest of the g-boys follow him.
Friend 3: That was down right scary. So what's next?
Authoress: *looks at clipboard* Oh no, this is not good.
Friend 1: *looks at clipboard* You're right this is not good.
Authoress: Can the stage hands bring on the flower garden set?
Stage hands pops up from behind the curtain : It's ready!
Authoress: Okay, up next are Dorothy and evil Une (with glasses) singing "My favorite things"
All: *gasp in horror* NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Evil Lady Une and Dorothy step out on stage (set as a flower garden) in little flowery dresses. They start dancing with flowers.
Une: Raindrops on roses
Dorothy: And whiskers on kittens
Both: Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.
Horses that fly with the moon on there wings.
These are a few of my favorite things.
Une: Cream colored ponies and crisp apple struddle
Dorothy: Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Both: Brown paper packages died up with string
These are a few of my favorite things...
Friend 1: This is bad
Friend 2: This is really bad
Authoress: It's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost over...
Friend 3: And I thought Wufie and company where bad
*From off stage* Wufie: Injustice! I heard that onna!
Friend 1: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's finally over!!!!!!
Friend 3: So what's next?
Authoress: Um it's Quatre singing "Falcon in the Dive"
Friend 2: The ominous villain song!
Friend 3: Quatre sings the ominous villain song? Now that's just wrong.
Authoress: It gets worse.
Friend 1: Something tells me I don't want to know. But how is it any worse?
Authoress: Loud low belty songs and Quatre don't mix.
Friend 1: Yes girly voice boy doesn't make a very convincing villain.
Authoress: Here he comes everybody shut up. We don't want him to cry out of frustration.
Quatre walks out on stage looking extremely nervous.
Friend 2: This guy is supposed be Chauvelin?
Authoress: Yes this is the blood-thirsty French revolution leader.
Quatre: We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Friend 2: I am beginning to see why I don't want to hear this.
Quatre begins to sing in a very high voice (This song is pretty low)
...There was a dream-a dying ember
There was a dream-I don't remember
But I will resurrect that dream
Though rivers stream and hills grow steeper
For here in Hell, where life gets cheaper
Oh, here in hell, the blood runs deeper
And when the final duel is near
I'll lift my spear and fly
Piercing into the sky and higher!
And the strong will thrive!
Yes the weak will cower
While the fittest will survive
If we wait for the darkest hour
Till' we spring alive
Then with claws of fire
We devour like a falcon in the dive....
Friend 2: Now this is just plain wrong
Authoress: I know who cast this thing?
Friend 2: I'm not sure I want to know
Authoress: Me neither.
Friend 3: It's over! What's next?
Want a sequel? I have some ideas but I won't continue unless you review. ^_^
Warning: Sequel may contain Heero singing sappy love songs and Duo in a dress. You have been warned.