After finishing the review for the final chapter of Sonic the Cat, Froggy let out a choked sob. Oh, the things I do for love, he silently lamented. He quickly uploaded his review before opening up a new word document and starting to type.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Ladies and gentlemen, we rapidly approach Part 2 of the wild ride that is my attempts to review Yoshi 2.1's Sonic the Cat trilogy while attempting to keep my sanity from fragmenting. I, Froggy, will attempt to keep you entertained with sarcastic commentary and by being brutally honest about Yoshi 2.1's many mistakes.

Here we go. Sonic the Cat: Love and Revenge's first chapter begins now.

(The original story will be in plain script. My commentary will be sectioned off and in bold.)

Sonic The Cat: Love & Revenge

Summary: Taking place ten years after Sonic The Cat, Sonic and his new wife Blaze are living a happy life with two adorable kids named Jake and Lilly. But however, a certain Sonic-obsessed hedgehog girl, Amy Rose, doesn't approve of Sonic's new life, and she plans to wreck his marriage and take him and the kids for herself. Now Sonic and his family and friends must do whatever it takes to stop Amy's corrupted plan before it takes place.

What this summary doesn't tell you is that Sonic and co. were terrible friends to Amy who didn't let them know where Sonic had been off to for the past months. Or that Sonic and Blaze's relationship is terrible. It doesn't excuse whatever Amy may do in revenge, but they really aren't paragons of sainthood themselves.

Note: Includes full guest appearances by Mario, Luigi, and other Nintendo characters.

Hopefully, Yoshi 2.1 will remember to inform us this time.

Disclaimer: All Sonic characters belong to Sega.

P.S.: Nintendo characters belong to the Nintendo company.

Chapter 1

Today was just a normal, peaceful day in Station Square. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, and citizens were out traveling around the city. It was like as if things couldn't possibly get worse.

So, right off the bat, I have a serious problem with this sentence. The word "today" implies that that day is this day, which in turn implies that it's still going on. However, "was" implies that it's in the past, which would mean that it's already over. Which means that it is not, in fact, today. You see what the problem is?

And that's the least of our worries.

Speaking of which, things were going perfectly for Sonic, who was now living a glorious life, happily married to his true love, Blaze. For all that was known, Sonic was turned into a cat during an accident in Tails' lab. At first he was dissatisfied with his new form, it was at this point that Blaze fell madly in love with Sonic,

What? No, it was not at that point. Chapter 4 of the previous entry explicitly states that she'd loved Sonic for a long time. If I can keep track of your story, Yoshi 2.1, then you should be able to, too.

who would always run away from her when given the chance, but she often succeeded in catching him everytime she chased him.

And forcing poorly-written French Kisses on him, but that's neither here nor there.

Eventually, Sonic soon realized his true feelings for Blaze, and they became a couple.

Worst. Plot. Ever.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

At that point, Sonic decided to remain as a cat. Soon after, Sonic proposed marriage to Blaze, who joyfully accepted. But during the day of their wedding, Amy Rose had attempted to crash it, falsely believing that Sonic had left her for Blaze, though Sonic knew that he and Amy were never a couple at all. However, before Amy could even do anything, she got apprehended by Mario & Luigi, who tied her to a tree.

Which, by the way, is uncharacteristic of Mario and Luigi. Those guys deal with their problems by jumping on the heads of whoever caused the problem. Tying them to a tree? Nope.

Since then, Amy hasn't been seen for days or weeks, which sits well for Sonic & Blaze, who were currently watching TV while their son & daughter were outside playing with the family dog Sammy.

Sonic has been a cat for at least ten years.

Blaze has been a cat for all her life.

…And they and their children, who are presumably cats as well, are okay with having a dog for a pet?

I love my new life, I gotta a lovely wife, two wonderful kids, a nice clean home, and a obedient dog, don't you agree Blaze", Sonic said.

Oh, Sonic. Surely you must know that the Big Book of Fictional Cliches declares that talking about how great your life is going is a guaranteed way to utterly fuck yourself over.

…But then, you don't really care, do you?

I most certainly do Sonic", Blaze agreed.

So, have you heard from any of the others lately?", Blaze asked.

Yep, I talked to Knuckles yesterday, he and Lien-Da are making plans for their 4th anniversary this year", Sonic replied.

Aw, so Knuckles got hitched to a nice lady? That's probably the only thing about this chapter that I'm actually going to like.

Really, I sure hope Knuckles know what he's doing", Blaze commented.

I'll ask him today, I'm meeting him at the mall later", Sonic said.

Sooner or later, their kids came through the back door with the dog, who was a black lab.

The "L" in "lab" should have been capitalized, and I still don't know what possessed you to think that a pet dog was a good idea for a family of cats.

Oh, never mind. I remembered what possessed you.

YOSHI 2.1, THAT'S WHAT

Mommy, daddy, we're back", said the kids.

The married couple turned to look at their children, who were cats just like them. The male cat, Jake, was blue like his father, but he had purple streaks on the tips of his ears, while also having golden eyes like his mother, he was at least 10 years old of age. The female cat, Lilly, was the same color as her mother, but she had emerald green eyes like Sonic. She was 9 years old of age.

What beautiful, precious children. I hope that your parents are better role models to you than Blaze's were to her.

Hey there kids, did you have fun outside?", Blaze asked.

Yeah, we taught Sam how to play dead", Lilly said.

That's nice, well I gotta go meet Knuckles, I'll be back soon okay", Sonic said as he got up.

See you soon honey", Blaze said giving him a french kiss.

NOPE, APPARENTLY NOT

So you just French Kiss in front of your kids? Why?

Whoa there Blaze, warn me next time before you use your tongue", Sonic said.

More like "Save it for the bedroom".

Blaze just blushed and giggled.

Oh, so now you're shy.

After giving his kids a hug, he then headed out the door.

Later at the mall...

So, how's the married life for you?", Knuckles asked.

It just fine, how's Lien-Da doing?", Sonic asked.

She's alright, she's still at home with the kids", Knuckles replied.

Kids? Multiple, at least two. After only four years of marriage? Knuckles got BI-ZAAAY!

So, what are you planning for your anniversary?", Sonic asked.

Not a lot, I already bought a gift for her and everything, there isn't much else", Knuckles said.

Did you hide the gift?", Sonic asked.

Of course, I'm not stupid, I hid it in a place where she'll never find it", Knuckle assured him.

Under the pillow, behind the couch, in your pants, where? (Note: all three of them are terrible hiding spots.)

Good, I'm pretty sure that she's got a special gift for you too, If you know what I'm getting at", Sonic said smirking.

The Sonic that I know is as celibate as they come, but even if he weren't, he'd have enough class to keep his nose out of other people's sex lives.

Now cut that out buddy, Lien-Da isn't that persistant", Knuckles said chuckling.

Knux is a pretty good support about it, yet doesn't get inappropriate about it. Good man. If somebody had tried giving me shit about what me and my (non-existent) girl do, I would've given him the flipper-slapping of a lifetime. Anyway, Lien-da sounds like a nice person - which is a rarity in Yoshi 2.1's sick, twisted world.

You sure about that, you won't know until you find out", Sonic said.

Shut the fuck up.

Whoa, look at the time, I gotta hurry home, me and Lien-Da are going out for a lunch date on our anniversary", Knuckles said as he got up while looking at his watch.

Better hurry, you don't wanna be late", Sonic said.

See ya later Sonic", Knuckles said waving goodbye as he left.

Bye Knux", Sonic replied waving back.

Definitely some goof-ups here and there, but despite the OOCness and general awfulness of the writing, this wasn't as bad as Yoshi 2.1's standard. Maybe he got better.

That Knuckles sure is one lucky guy", Sonic said.

Weren't you bragging about how good your life was just a page or so ago?

Hi there Sonic", said a familiar voice.

Sonic's happiness was replaced with anger and resentment as he instantly recognized the voice of none other than Amy Rose, the same hedgehog who had always been in love with him since the day they met. Ever since the incident at the wedding, Sonic had hated Amy for weeks and months, and he had refused to forgive her because of it.

Oh, dear. If Yoshi 2.1 will start going into Terribad Overdrive, it will be right about now.

What the heck do you want Amy?", Sonic asked without even looking at her.

I just noticed you over here, and decided to see how you were doing", Amy said acting like everything was normal even though it wasn't.

To be fair, she's actually acting fairly reasonable right now. Sonic, on the other hand, is acting like he has a colossal stick shoved up his feline ass.

As you can see, I'm fine, now go away", Sonic said.

"Make me, you big pussy," Amy retorted.

Get it? Pussy?

...I'm sorry. It's my way of coping.

Come on, you're not still mad at me are you?", Amy asked.

Of course I'm still mad at you, you almost ruined my wedding you moron", Sonic replied angrily while turning to look at her.

If you hadn't betrayed me in the first place, none of it would have ever happened", Amy retorted.

Yup, we're heading straight into Terribad Territory.

Ugh, when are you gonna get it through your screwed up head, we were never together, we never dated, and more importantly, I never liked you anymore than I did before", Sonic stated.

Why couldn't you understand the fact that we were meant for each other?", Amy pointed out.

Amy is being more subtle than Blaze was in the last story, yet is still being crazy and terrible and generally unlike her true self.

Because we never were meant for each other, you were too obsessive, I never like that about you at all", Sonic replied.

The real Sonic has similar problems with Amy, so this statement is actually believable.

Oh really", Amy commented.

Yeah really, and if you think that you're gonna get me to like you, you are hugely mistaken, because that is never gonna hap-

But Sonic was suddenly cut off when Amy pressed her lips against his in a forceful kiss, shoving her entire tongue into his mouth, licking all around the inside. Sonic desperately tried to pull away from her, but Amy wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and neck, forcibly pulling him closer to her body. After struggling for sometime, Sonic finally manages to push Amy off of him, knocking her to the floor.

Hooray. Yoshi 2.1 is back to his terrible in-depth descriptions of French Kisses between a slutty kisser and an unwilling kissee. Also, why can't Sonic actually fight back? We know that he's surprised and all, but… it shouldn't take this long to fight back. This is the same guy who pulverizes giant steel robots to save the world on a regular basis.

…Speaking of which, I wonder what Eggman's been up to in this story.

YOU CRAZY *****, WHAT THE ****DID YOU DO THAT FOR?", Sonic yelled while wiping his mouth.

And we're back to censoring profanity with asterisks, despite just having described a forced French Kiss in cringeworthy detail. I seriously want to know how old Yoshi 2.1 was when he wrote this.

I just thought that a kiss would make you change your mind about me", Amy said seductively as she got up.

This is dumb and bad, and Amy should feel dumb and bad.

Well, keep on dreaming, because there is no **** way I'll ever fall in love with you, I'm married to Blaze not you, so just leave me alone and stay out of my life", Sonic said before storming off.

Hmm, so he thinks he has a happy life does he, well he won't be happy for long once I manage to destroy his precious marriage, then I'll have that blue cat all to myself", Amy said forming an evil smirk on her face.

This wording is so cliched, so bad, and sets a standard for what I've come to expect from Yoshi 2.1. That run-on sentence was terrible, and it has Amy casually talking to herself about how she will destroy somebody's happy marriage.

Fuck this.

Later back at home...

AMY DID WHAT?", Blaze asked in shock.

Yep, that's right, she kissed me, right on the lips, with her whole tongue slithering in my mouth, it was horrible", Sonic told her.

"Slithering". Damn, Sonic, you sure can sell a story.

Why that dirty, conniving, crazy hedgehog girl, I oughta rip off her arms and feed her to alligators", Blaze fumed.

Ignoring the fact that Blaze would never say such a thing in her life, I find it particularly amusing that she specifically picked alligators. At least she remembered that they're friends with a crocodile.

Whoa whoa, take it easy honey, let's not get carried away, besides, there's nothing to worry about, you and I are married, and I love you very much, nothing will ever change that", Sonic assured her.

Sonic, to Amy: I hate your guts and I never wanna see you again and you're a horrible slut

Sonic, to Blaze: Aw, don't do anything to her!1!

Aww, I love you too darling", Blaze replied kissing him on the cheek.

So, where are the kids and the dog? ", Sonic asked curiously.

You just noticed that they were gone? I know that you were mad about getting your mouth raped again, but a good father should've noticed this straight away.

Blaze giggled before replying.

In general, Blaze giggling - either in real life or in Yoshi 2.1's world - is a bad sign (for two entirely different reasons, depending on the world).

Jake and Lilly are spending the night at their friend's house and Sam is outside in his doghouse, so we have the house all to ourselves, and I'm feeling a little in the mood if you know what I'm talking about", Blaze said seductively.

Everyone's a whore.

Oh I know exactly what you mean baby", Sonic replied before chasing Blaze upstairs towards the bedroom for a little fun time.

Fun time? Is that what they're calling it these days?

Well, here it is, the first chapter of this story, I spent three days working on it.

I hope you like it.

And just to point out, this story is gonna be rated M for specific reasons.

Oh, we can guess why, Yoshi 2.1. We can guess why.

By the way, the nintendo characters will be making guest appearance in the next chapters.

You always make a point to reference Mario and Luigi. Are they going to be Station Square's newest plumbing company?

Goodnight everybody.

Yes, good night.

Seeing as this chapter was relatively tame, I may just post it to the original set of reviews about the trilogy. This chapter wasn't as bad as the previous fare, but if Yoshi 2.1 decides to start writing about the characters' sex lives, then it can only go downhill. We'll have to wait and see.

Froggy, signing out.