Looking for Reason.
"Music to my ears…nice one Dem'."
"Would you kindly stop sucking face you two and help me out here?" an enraged redhead snapped, scowling at the two Nobodies before him. "Okay, so you two finally hot together, freaking great, but could you please get a room?!"
"We have a room Axel, but right now, we are not in it. What do you want?" Zexion asked, calmly straightening his jacket.
"Has anyone seen Roxas? Xemnas sent him out last week and he's not returned yet." Axel said, shoving his hands in his pockets. Demyx, looking even more ruffled than his shorter companion, broke into a grin.
"Awwwww, Axel loves Roxy!"
Axel scowled even more
"I do not." He grumbled, kicking at the dirty street.
"Do too."
"Do not.
"Do three."
"Do…what?"
"Do Roxas."
"DO NOT WANT!"
"Who's doing what?" Asked Luxord as he rounded the street corner.
"Axel's doing Roxas!"
"Am NOT! I caught them doing each other though…"
"Them two?"
"Yup…doing the do-diddly-do-do."
"Wow…a lot of people doing that around here…"
"Everyone has someone to do!"
"It's what we do…"
"Who do you do Lux?"
"….I have no-one to do."
"Jeez man…how do you do it?"
"I make do."
"…you never do, do you?"
Luxord ran away crying like a big girly-man, blubbering about wanting his mommy.
"Well that was strange." Demyx said, slipping his hand behind Zexion to cop a feel while Axel was distracted.
Axel paced the halls, feeling the need for a masterly stroll around. He almost passed out when he saw Luxord being consoled by Saix. Axel never had the Lunar Diviner down as a pansy-ass mommy type, but he shrugged it off. That claymore was substituting for something for sure.
What vexed Axel the most was Roxas. The little blond haired skid-mark was the most confusing thing in non-existence. At least, Axel saw it that way. Let's face it, Axel was just that: Axel. He was badass personified, sex on legs, a walking orgasm, all Godly and Chuck-like.
"Norris' got nothing on this…" Axel would often say to his reflection. Even Xemnas had once stopped and gaped in awe as Axel strolled past, all masterly and commanding. Axel had an aura that could turn the manliest of men's men into pink, blubbering pools of heart shaped, strawberry smelling mush. Axel was a god damned machine!
So why, in all that is His Holiness' Mighty Whities, was Axel not only unable to turn Roxas into said gooey puddle, but also unable to hold coherent thought and actions in the blonds presence?
"This calls for the one and only solution…to the Shag-Pad!"
Axel lay on the heart shaped bed, appeased but, like all gods, no where near spent. Not one, in all the countless 'sacrifices' he had just partaken of, had he found an answer to his troubles. Well, naught but one. Every single person he had just gone through (One or two literally…messy) had, in his mind's eye, had the face of Roxas. Axel sighed and went to depart the building, being met with a 100 strong mob of fan-girls.
"Fuck me…" Axel sighed.
"With pleasure!" came a single cry. Then the thunder started.
The 'battlefield' was a mess of naked, panting fan-girls, all shagged out to their limit and with enough mental images to keep them appeased for a lifetime. Axel walked away, still pitched and ready to rumble.
"Glory on the Battlefield..."Axel mumbled, leaving.
"Okay so…someone remind me. Why is Axel after Roxas?"
Namine, Roxas, Demyx and Zexion where holding their nightly movie-fest in Zexion's room.
"Obviously, he wants his baguette in Rox' bread-basket." Replied Demyx. Roxas paled slightly, shaking his head.
"Jeez…I leave for one assignment and the whole universe takes a Scooby Snack and goes out the window in long-johns."
"Roxas…that made no sense…"
"That what I'm talking about! I mean, c'mon! Saix, Luxord, Xaldin and Xemnas are all upstairs eating little black mushrooms and walking around in pantyhose and nothing else!"
Zexion shrugged.
"It's their appreciation club. They all like being nancy-boys."
"Okay, back to the subject….pantyhose aside…what are we going to do about a horned up redhead and Roxas' basket?"
"Leave my basket out of this."
"Well…I guess we'll let it sort it self out."
"I should probably…um…"
Roxas sprinted from the room. He hurled through the corridors to the kitchen, ripped open the pantry and grabbed the only baguette left. He grabbed the ketchup and smeared the red goo over one end and ran from the kitchen, muttering something about replicas.
Lexaeus, who had been sitting in the sink with the tap on (Vindaloo related burning issues) just shrugged and took out a turnip to munch on.
------
"Okay Axel, let's think. Roxas: what is he?" Axel asked his reflection. In his hand he held a list of things answering just that juestion.
It read:
"Roxas is…
SEX
Cute
Short…
Chokobo Head!!
MORE SEX
A friend…
…a conquest."
The last one had Axel jumping around his room with glee. He accepted the little fact that He had a thing for Roxas. That little "I want to spend the rest of forever being gooey around you!" thing. So now he had a fact, but no reason. Roxas was a little prick to Axel most of the time. Axel sighed.
"Ah well…lets get this ball rolling." He said, leaving his room with a beach ball and a stick.
"So…do you actually um…y'know…like Axel?"
Roxas nodded, brushing crumbs off his jacket. Namine was drawing as usual, but she could hold a conversation at the same time.
"I'm drawing, Roxas, hence not looking at you, hence I can't see you nodding."
Roxas just frowned in confusion.
"Well…" Namine continued. "In any case, its obvious Axel has a thing for you. I guess we'll have to see how things go. Have you spoken to him at all?"
Roxas shook his head. He had been avoiding the redhead since his return. He simply didn't trust himself around Axel.
"I think you should…hmm…do something drastic. Yes, that would work. Something so outrageous and out of the blue…see how Axel responds."
Roxas nodded again and grabbed his coat.
Axel simply didn't trust himself around Roxas. Simply put, for all the scowls and snide remarks he got from the blond, he had no reason to like him at all, other than the painfully obvious reason of him being a plain hottie, at least to the redhead. He explained this to Zexion first chance he got.
"It just…makes no sense, yo!" Axel said, throwing his arms in the air.
"'Yo ?" Zexion repeated, raising his visible eyebrow.
"Oh sorry, wrong character…" Axel said, correcting himself. "but anyway, think about it. The dude gives me no reason to like him, none at all, but I can't keep my frickin' eyes off him! I mean, c'mon dude! What's the deal with this shit?"
Zexion smirked at some hidden knowledge. A smirk Axel very much noticed. He had the smaller boy pinned against a wall in a heartless-beat. Well, he didn't have a heart, right?
"Spill it short stuff! What do you know?"
Zexion smirked in his shit-eating way.
"If you really must know, Roxas is asking himself the same question. I believe Namine advised him not an hour ago to…how can I put this…attract your attention."
"And just what in the world does…"
""Take an early night Axel, and think it over." Zexion said, cutting him off. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have pillows to pound. I do so enjoy hearing Demyx beg…"
------
It was a simple plan. Roxas just snuck into Axel's room, did the business and waited. Reason be damned, he was going to sort shit out. So, naturally, when Axel came into his room and saw what was laid before him, it was only natural that Roxas would be smirking like a cannery-eating cat.
Axel gaped. Just gaped. Stood there and gaped. Roxas was in his bed. Very naked in his bed. Very, very needy-looking, in his bed.
Long story short, there was much rejoicing, pounding, sweating, cursing and all manner of sinful delights going on in Axel's room that night. Both teens left with a greater knowledge than was needed and both found reason. One found a sensation like no other, and one regained his rightful place as masterly puddle-inducer.
Reasons found, bed broken. Funny how these things work out, isn't it?
AN: Okay, I was in a very strange, comical mood when I wrote this. It's the hyper, 'WTF?!' side to 'Lessons. YES the characters changed alot, but I put it down to Marluxia putting something 'extra' in the herbal tea. R+R as always. MIGHT re-do in a serious style and make a string of Looking For stories. What you think?