PEACE IS OVERRATED; LIFE IS NOW
A Caroline Forbes multi chapter fan-fiction. The writers were cruel to her and I needed to set things right.
This fic unfolds 150 years after Stefan's suicide.
CHAPTER 1 - Knocking on Heaven's Door
"You sure you can't stay longer?" He asked sounding melancholy.
"Stefan! Look around, what do you see?" Lexi asked him sounding exasperated.
"Umm bad Pictionary players?" Stefan replied as the rest of the gang in the house resumed play.
"We are at peace." She reminded him.
"I know."
"Do you?"
"Yes. I recognize the lack of constant self-loathing and guilt eating at me. Its peaceful!"
"Then why are you still brooding?" She asked as she grabbed her coat.
"I'm not brooding" He brushed her aside.
Lexi shook her head "I'll see you, when I see you" She said as she went towards the door.
"See ya" He said as she shut the door behind her.
He decided a drink was in order. A knock on the door came just as he took the first sip. He abandoned his glass to open the door and mock his best friend for trying to leave.
"I knew you couldn't stay away" He said gleefully as he opened the door expecting to find his blonde best friend.
"Hi" She said. Different blonde; more than just a best friend.
He stood there transfixed. Heart in his mouth. Emotions he hadn't felt in 150 years rushing through him threatening to devour him whole. There she was. Just like he had always remembered her. Beautiful. Radiant. Smiling. Perfect.
"Caroline" He finally mouthed as tears blurred his vision. She was here. Damon must have given her the cure he figured. He always refused to talk about Caroline. His heart leapt at the thought of being by her side forever. He lunged forward to embrace her.
"I'm not dead!" She declared blocking his embrace.
"Caroline?" he heard Damon call out to her lovingly.
"Damon" She said smiling warmly. It sent a jolt of jealousy down his entire being. He stood there, mouth agape as the two embraced lovingly, like two lost family members.
"Did you?"
"Not dead" Caroline told him breaking the hug.
"umm… then how are you here?" Damon asked.
"Its complicated. I don't have much time. I need some things."
"Like?"
"Like Bonnie Bennett for starters. Any idea where I can find her?"
"Right here", Bonnie said lining up behind Damon.
"Can I get a hug after her?" Elena asked as she wiped away tears.
"Oh great, yeah sure, go ahead, not like she's my wife who I haven't seen for 150 years or anything", Stefan blurted out.
The room went silent.
"My room at the boarding house, its… intact right? The way I wanted it?" Damon asked breaking the silence.
"You're dead. Who cares" Caroline said making sure Damon couldn't see her impish grin.
"What diff- you didn't just say that Blondie ! That room-"
He was cut off by three voices chanting in unison " Is the very essence of me and it has to be preserved for all time", Bonnie, Caroline and Elena burst out laughing at that.
"Seriously though. My room?" Damon persisted, hands on his hips, looking serious as a heart attack.
"Your room is well preserved. I made sure of that" Caroline said lovingly.
And all this while Stefan stood there and stared enviously at the group. At the inside joke he would never be part of, catching a rare glimpse of the life he had left behind when he had decided to sacrifice himself; Reduced to a stranger midst his wife, his brother and their people. Regret gnawed at him at that moment.
"You said you didn't have much time?" Bonnie asked cutting to the chase.
"I don't" She sounded tired.
"What do you need?"
"Blood. Yours, your gram's and one more Bennett witch's"
"On it", Bonnie said bolting out the door.
"What else?" Damon asked.
"A shovel?"
"Follow me" Damon said walking out of the house.
Caroline looked at Stefan before heading behind Damon. "I'm glad you found it" She said giving him a forlorn smile.
"Found what?" Stefan asked, his heart aching to hold her in his arms.
"Peace" Her voice cracked.
"Caroline-" He said moving towards her.
"I should go. I don't know how much time I have and I cant fail… not this time.." She said wiping away tears and running off the find Damon.
"Wait" Stefan begged.
"There you go" He saw Damon hand her a shovel.
"What are we doing with the shovel?" Stefan asked.
"I need dirt.. from.. " She unfolded a map and pointed at the little demarcation.
"Okay" Stefan nodded.
"Stefan, you don't have to"
"I don't have to what?"
"I can do this by myself." She said folding the map.
"Well, you keep saying you don't have much time and I, happen to know a shortcut" He said fondly as he offered her both his hands.
She took them. Only one out of three rings he had given her during life adorned her fingers "Hold on" He said trying not to let it get to him.
"Hold on why? wha-?" She stopped abruptly as the surroundings transformed almost immediately.
"How did you do that?" She asked bewildered.
"Wouldn't be very peaceful if it took us forever to get to places." He said trying to catch some emotion from her countenance all the while concealing that he was all but falling apart. Anything.
"Thank you" She said as she turned her back to him and started digging. His heart sank. She hates him he figured. Did he blame her?
His mind wandered to simpler times. Particularly to when tall trees and fallen leaves bore witness to two best friends in love, masking their true feelings for the others benefit and falling in love deeper still. So simple in fact that a tattered old teddy-bear and him were all it took to make her laugh through the pain.
"Caroline? He asked his voice giving away. The ground shook slightly.
"You shouldn't be here", Caroline said, panic ringing clear in her voice.
"What?"
"I'm upsetting your peace"
"No kidding. You wont even look me in the eye, let alone let me give you a hug,"
"Stefan, listen to me"
"You're my wife!" He said as he felt the ground move again.
"Widow! I'm your widow, there's a difference"
"I miss you, Caroline. I didn't know just how much until right now. At least tell me you're ok?" He said tears forming again. The ground shook harder causing them to topple over.
"What's going on?" Stefan asked as the ground stopped moving around him.
"You are feeling too much"
"What?"
"You need to go back. Send Damon here. He can help me" She said hastily as she picked herself up.
"Why Damon?" The ground rumbled.
"Because I wont affect Damon like I'm affecting you. I'm not supposed to be here Stefan. I'm breaking the rules of this world and it will spit me out if I disturb it too much."
"How am I supposed to just-"
"You won't remember any of this" Caroline said softly.
"What?"
"You'll go to bed, wake up and this encounter would have been erased"
"Why? What makes you so-"
"Because I'm not meant to be here. Not like this. Not now. When I leave, this world will work to fix what I upset. In this case, you."
His heart sank like an anvil in the ocean at the thought of not remembering this.
"I don't want to forget this" He mumbled.
"You don't have a choice in the matter" she said sadly.
"Just.. . tell me you're happy" He said resigned to leaving her again.
"I'm happy." She said smiling softly.
He studied her expression. There was an unnerving sadness in her eyes. "Car-"
"I promise. I'm happy, generally."
"Generally?'
"Well things are. . .chaotic now, at this present moment, but…"
"But you're happy otherwise?"
She nodded.
He closed the gap between them to wrap her in his arms; she didn't resist this time. He held her tight and wept silently as he realized he wouldn't remember this moment. She broke the hug. Tears stained her porcelain skin.
"How much do you hate me for all the tears I gave you?" He asked wiping her cheek slowly with his thumb. "Be honest. I wont remember it anyway right?"
"I don't hate you. I never could. And I never will", she said as fresh tears rolled down her flushed cheeks.
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I wish things were different", He said as he touched his forehead to hers.
"This is the path you chose. This is the path you have to keep. Whether you like it or not" She said steadying her breath and stepping away from him.
"Will I see you before you leave?" He asked. Her shape blurred as his grief took over.
"No" She replied somberly.
"So no goodbye?"
"Goodbyes were never our thing"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
He waited by Bonnie's front steps for her return.
"Bonnie" He got up just as he saw her.
"Waiting long?" She asked.
"Did you see Caroline?"
"I did". Bonnie said, walking in the house.
"And?"
"And she should be on her way back soon. She just wants to see her mom first."
"Bonnie?"
"She'll be okay Stefan. She's a big girl. She can handle herself"
Stefan nodded.
"I know this is a long shot. But I have to ask. Is there any way I could, I donno, get a ride back with her?"
Bonnie's eye brows furrowed.
"What?" He asked.
"Stefan.. why would you ask this?", Bonnie asked looking at him incredulously.
Stefan sighed, shook his head and slumped into the armrest of Bonnie's couch. "I did right by everyone. I did right by my brother and made sure he lived. He got the chance to marry the woman he loved, to have kids, grow old and live a full life. I did right by you. I paid the ultimate prize for killing Enzo. I did right by the world by putting Katherine away for good. But Caroline?" His eyes filled up. "I widowed her on our wedding night. I couldn't give her a day of happiness. I did not do right by her."
"It was 150 years ago."
"Yeah I know. And here she is, in trouble and I'm supposed to just wish her luck and let her go? Apparently I wont even remember seeing her. "
"You wouldn't be at peace if you were worried about Caroline" Bonnie nodded.
"Well, I don't want to forget this. And I don't want to let her go again. And I've been around enough supernatural to guess that if she can come in here and leave, then the loophole might just let me leave with her?" He asked, eyebrows raised in anticipation.
"She's linked to a stone that allows her safe passage. If you link your spirit with hers temporarily, you can go back to the land of the living with her."
Stefan's eyes shot up just as he sprang up from his seat.
"Ok so how do I link my spirit to hers?" He said smiling.
"Stefan, you know what you would be giving up right? Eternal peace! And for what? She's taken the rings off, which means its quite possible that you are not who she needs right now. Are you really willing to give up this afterlife and possibly run the risk of not being able to get back up here, for-"
"A chance to see her smile again? To maybe make sure she does? Even if the smile isn't directed towards me?" He asked. "I know there are no guarantees. But yes, I'd give up everlasting peace for half a chance to make things right with her. Or at least make things right for her. "
"You're sure?" Bonnie asked again.
"Yes!"
"Okay then.." Bonnie fished out a vial of blood. "Its Caroline's. Grams spelled it. Drink it. It'll link your spirit to hers and when she's yanked out of here, so will you. I had taken it just in case Enzo wanted to give life another shot… he didn't.. so.."
"Thank you" Stefan said gulping it down. "Tell Damon not to wait up" He beamed.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Got everything you need?" Damon asked Caroline.
"Yup. Thank you for everything" Caroline said graciously.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" He asked.
"Umm.. no pretty sure I got everything" Caroline replied looking over to her supplies that she had gathered in her short time up in "heaven".
"You should say goodbye", Damon told her softly.
"I can't." She said tearing up. "You know, I didn't think I would feel so much after 150 years. . .but seeing him." She breathed out, trying to contain herself from completely breaking down.
"Well you guys never really got closure.. so maybe goodbye is what you need. Do it for you"
"He died. Well, he chose to die. That's all the closure I need"
Damon nodded. During his human lifetime Caroline was the family he always could count on. By the time he breathed his last, she had become his favorite person.
He had given her the cure before he died. Why waste it. But he made her promise that she wouldn't take it out of self-pity or because she didn't think she could be happy.
"Peace is overrated, Caroline", He had told her that day. "Life is now"
"How would you know? You haven't experienced peace", She said making light of the conversation.
"I just do. The cure? Its not me aiding and abetting suicide. Don't ever make it so. You can't use this to give up on living, for whatever reason. This is me giving you an option. If ever immortality becomes stale and cumbersome and you have experienced all there is. . and maybe a thousand, two thousand years from now if you crave a human existence; this is for then. Not now. Not for the near future. And definitely not because you cant be happy without him. You're Caroline Forbes. You're not a quitter."
She had smiled ruefully at that. "When did you get so wise?" She had asked, looking away.
That had been his cue to berate himself one last time before he died, "It should have been me"
She shook her head softly.
"When you find peace and see him again, know that I'm here saying I told you so" She had joked.
He had let out a short laugh at that and breathed his last.
. . . . .
"Promise that you'll be okay?" Damon asked.
"I promise"
He nodded. "Bye Blondie"
"Bye Damon. And hey, I told you so" She beamed.
He chuckled and she disappeared.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
He woke up in a daze. There were voices he didn't recognize. They were calling out to Caroline.
He squinted as he readjusted to the light. He was indoors. Felt like he had been there before.
"Caroline?" He heard a worried voice. A familiar worried voice he just couldn't place.
A groan.
"Here", The hazy figure gave her a blood bag.
"That was rough" She exclaimed.
"Can you get up?" The familiar voice asked.
"Yeah…" He watched as he stood her up.
"Caroline?"
She didn't hear him. She was staring at her long lost past come to life.
Stefan got up. "Hey"
Caroline stood there, mouth agape.
"I'm guessing this wasn't the plan?" The guy beside her said clearly unimpressed with Stefan's presence. He finally recognized him. An old friend, someone he never thought he'd see again.
"Caleb" Stefan greeted him.
"Stefan" He returned his greeting and wrapped his hand around Caroline's waist.
"I don't feel so good" Caroline said, blood oozing out of her nose a she collapsed on the floor.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . To be continued . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .