You Don't Mess With a Pixie
Co-written by: TwilitisVictim and Briecheese0
Summary: Carlisle takes away Alice's credit cards because he thinks she needs a break from shopping. Alice has a nervous/mental breakdown.
Alice's Journal 10/12/08
I'm so infuriated! Carlisle took away ALL of my credit cards today, and now little elves are telling me something… bad things…
Alice and Esme are sitting in the living room. Esme is reading a magazine. Alice is trying (and failing) to not lose the last shred of sanity she has.
Alice:*jumps up and down in her chair*
Esme: Could you just sit still, Alice?! I know Carlisle took away your credit cards, but the world isn't coming to an end.
Alice: What was that?
Esme: I said-
Alice: Not you, the elves!
Esme: Mmmmhmm… *ignores her craziness*
Alice: *nods head* okay, okay…OKAY!!!
Esme: Wha-
Alice: *smashes Esme's favorite table; laughs maniacally*
Esme: ALICE! What's gotten into you?
Alice: BEEP!
Esme: Huh?
Alice: That's the sound of my phone. Edward just texted me! *Looks at text*
BELLA IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU. IM GONNA GO "PLAY" WITH TANYA
Alice: Oops, wrong number. Better forward this to Bella so she gets the memo. Maybe Jacob gets his chance after all.
Esme: *in table replacement closet* I just don't know what gets into you teenagers
Alice: *matter-of-factly* hormones
Esme: Alice, are you feeling all right?
Alice: I'm feeling fit as a pickle
Esme: I think it's fiddle, dear.
Alice: No it's pickle! *Twitch, twitch*
Esme: Are you sure you're "fit as a pickle"?
Alice: *nervous breakdown* Well maybe, if you didn't pee in the flowers, your pudding wouldn't be so GREEN!!!!!
Esme: … *goes back to reading magazine* That's nice dear. Thinks: I hope Carlisle gets back soon… ((Authors' Note: Let's just say Carlisle ran away to some unknown country to hide the cards from Alice. Thank you so much for reading!!! Please Review. More Chapters will be up soon))