"I thought I was stronger than this, but I guess I'm really not." Shifting uncomfortably on the couch, Dell looked over next to him to find Violet studying him. He couldn't help but feel uneasy by the intensity in her eyes, like something was really truly wrong with him. "Hey beautiful, can you speak?" he nudged her a bit.
She couldn't help but look at him the way she was. The way he walked into her office today; he looked about ready to break down. "I'm sorry," she fell silent again until she looked up at Dell, the look on his face let her know that he was silently begging for her to speak again. "What do you mean Dell? What happened honey?" she asked, her voice very soft as she reached out and placed a hand on her friend's arm to comfort him.
He swallowed hard and Violet could tell he was thinking about what to say, or how to even begin. "It's okay Dell," she whispered. Once she said that, he bit his lip and nodded.
"What if Betsy isn't okay?" He finally managed. When he looked over at Violet, he could tell she was confused. "With Heather's death… I mean I know she can't just get over it, but what if it bothers her more than she tells me?
"Why, what has she been telling you?" Violet asked curiously, playing the part of both the friend and the psychiatrist.
"She doesn't really say much," he admitted. "You remember how mad she was at first because I didn't let her see her mother before she died. I thought I was doing the right thing. I did do the right thing."
"You did do the right thing Dell."
"But that's not the problem. Every now and then she'll ask me if we could bring flowers to Heather's grave, but that's it. She doesn't tell me if she misses her or anything. I know she does. She has to, that's her mother. I feel like she's keeping it all to herself and I don't want that. I want her to be able to talk to someone about it if it's bothering her so much. More than anything, I want her to talk to me, but if she won't talk to me, then someone else, as long as she doesn't keep bottling it all up."
Gently with her hand, Violet guided Dell's head to her shoulder. When he didn't fight it and rested his head on her, Violet began to run her fingers through his hair gently in attempt to help him calm down. "I know it worries you that she hasn't said much about Heather, but that might be her way of grieving. Everyone grieves differently and maybe she won't say anything now, and maybe at this point it doesn't bother her as much as you think it would, but that's okay," she looked down at Dell for a second. He looked puzzled, staring out in front of him. Tearing her eyes from him, she rested her head on top of his. "Right now she's tearing herself from the situation, but she'll come around. The tears might come in the future and she'll probably start to have a lot of questions and you need to be there to answer them without judging her."
"I won't judge her. I could never do that to her. Since Heather died, I feel like everyone's judging me lately, including myself. I've been so hard on myself and I would never want her to have to feel this way. Never."
"Who do you think is judging you Dell?" the brunette asked softly. "You're either with Betsy or you're here working. Betsy loves you. Sure she was pissed at first that you didn't let her see Heather, but she doesn't judge you. You would do anything for her and she knows it. When you're here, you don't have to worry about being judged either. We all love you; you're a part of our family. Our large twisted, incestuous family," she grinned softly and heard the slightest chuckle from Dell. "But seriously, you're safe here. If everyone here could forgive me for the way I behaved after my attack, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about."
"I feel like you have more of an excuse to insanity though. You were the one who was attacked. You were the one who had your child cut out of you by a sick woman."
"Meanwhile you just got in your car and had just enough time to witness your house explode before pulling away and leaving to assume that everything would be left the same when you got back," Violet reasoned. "You were the one who ran inside that burning house and pulled out your daughter and wife. You have more of an excuse to insanity than I do. I survived and so did Lucas so I should have just moved on from there."
"It's not that easy to just move on though Violet," Dell interrupted.
"Well thank you for proving my point," she said as she messed with his hair a bit. "We're both screwed up Dell and we're both dealing with it differently. I went crazy for months. At first I wouldn't leave the house, and then I went through my 'freeing' honesty stage and claimed I was better, then I ran away like a child and no one knew where I was for weeks, all while I avoided my baby. You on the other hand jumped right back into work while single handedly taking care of your daughter. You're doing fine."
Slowly, Dell wrapped his arms around Violet's waist, pulling her closer, just needing to feel close to someone and there wasn't anyone better than Violet. They've gotten close and it was good because Dell didn't have that one person he was best friends with at work. Of course she had Cooper, but there were times where she'd go to Dell first and he liked having that. He loved it.
Feeling Violet do the same, wrapping her arms around him, Dell managed a faint smile. "I had this dream last night," the way he said it let Violet know that this is what was on his mind when he walked through the door. "On my way to the hospital with Maya, some guy blew a red light and hit us. I appeared to be fine for the most part but it didn't look like Maya was going to make it, so we all focused on her and I end up dying of a brain hemorrhage because I didn't bother to have anyone check on me. I wouldn't let them."
"Honey, you're not dying," Violet told him softly, kissing him on top of the head as she squeezed him a little tighter. "Is that what this is all about? You're afraid of dying now, aren't you?"
"I'm scared of leaving Betsy on her own."
"You're not going anywhere Dell, don't worry. I know it's easier to just say it than to believe it, but please calm down. How long have you been worrying about this? Why didn't you say anything to me?"
"I don't know, I mean of course it bothers me. There's not a scarier thought in this world than to leave your child behind. I wasn't really scared though until this dream. It seemed so real, I could see all of you crying and trying to figure out what to do with Betsy. She was a mess and you were holding her, trying to comfort her."
As much as it confused Violet that she would be the one to comfort a child in Dell's dream after seeing what she's been through with Lucas, she completely skipped past it, not wanting to the focus to be on herself. This was about Dell and helping him. He came to her after all.
Her head still against his, she placed a kiss on his cheek. "Well you're not going anywhere. You're young, you're healthy, and if you were to ever get in any kind of accident, we'd be helping you in a heart beat. You know we would, especially me. I would never let you go without full inspection from something even as simple as a paper cut."
Dell looked up at Violet, smiling at her as he ran a hand through her brown, straightened hair. "Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me Dell; I just wouldn't let anything happen to you and I know you'd do the same for me. We've both been through terrible things and we know now that we have to be careful. We can take care of each other."
Smiling up at her, Dell placed a friendly kiss on her lips. "Okay," he whispered softly. "I won't let anything happen to you."
She smiled back at him, seeing how easy it was for her to make him feel better. "And I won't let anything happen to you. We'll be okay."