-1This a day like any other. However, a day so different. The mood of everything changed in such an instant. So fast that I'm amazed I even remember it. But it's a day I could never forget. It was the day my own mother walked out on everything. Walked out on me, my dad, all responsibility, and walked out of our family.
As an innocent child I had no explanation, other than it was my fault. Nothing more, nothing less, just a loss; caused by some unknown factor I must have played a leading role in. I know now I had nothing to do with it, that it was something in her unconscious mind; that I had no control over.
It crushed my father just as it crushed me. The disappointment and depression were held by us both. More so him that myself. I lost my mother, my friend. He lost his wife, the mother of his son, his everlasting love. We don't know why she did this to us, but we tried to move on. I mean, what else could we have done? We were alone and had to live. She could have stayed. Yes, at a young age it was rough having a family and so much weight on her shoulders, but to be so selfish. To not think of the people she would hurt. It's truly sickening.
As I would eat breakfast with my dad. I would see the sadness in his eyes. I've never felt such a feeling of loneliness. To feel the helplessness, the pain. I knew then that this feeling would linger in our lives for a great deal of time. We would remember one day; forever. It was a feeling that overwhelmed everything. A feeling that made us almost numb.
It was my dad and I against the world. I was in school while he worked two jobs. I owe everything to that man. His devotion made up for my mother's departure. He made life bearable. Without him I would not be writing. I don't know what it is about abandonment that makes you lash out at anyone for comfort. He was always there. I never lashed out, unless we both lashed out for each other. It must have been a strong. Transparent connection between my father and I.
Other than that, my childhood was like any other. I made many friends, Davis, Helen, Chubs, so on. None of them knew my past. They all still knew me though. I also knew them. Davie, a year younger than me, he was the hyperactive young kind of kid you always want to slap when you see them in the mall. He was a spaz, but still a focused child. Helen, about two years younger, she was always so quiet. Chubs, not must to say, great friend.
The others were all just partial friends. The friends you can hang out with, just not be around for more than a few hours at a time. I still had them as friends. I was popular, even though I was the unusual kid. I made them laugh, but I made them scared. I don't know why, maybe they could see through my disguise.
If so, than I'm not surprised. It was something I had to hide. So much, that I could understand if some of it slipped out. I couldn't hide it; only come to grasp with it. Accept it and try to move on. Moving on is such a harder task than you'd expect.