Shay: Welcome to the new craziness. It may seem like only humor now, but it gets pretty serious latter in, especially when Ali and Jim have a heart to heart. Enjoy! And please review!
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Nia Tirion stared in horror at the sight before her. Her best friend, Citlali Xochitl glared at the three men crumpled on the floor of the forest outside their shared house. Ali, as Nia called her often, grinned viciously, as her dark eyes shone with unholy glee. She descended from a warrior race, and it showed when she had attacked the three men with a baseball bat.
"Ali, was that necessary?" Nia asked, eyes wide.
"Of course," the descendent from the Aztecs turned to the horrified Welsh woman, "They were trespassing."
"But it was a bit…extreme," Nia sighed, "They haven't even done anything wrong yet."
"They walked onto my property," Ali snapped, dark eyes flashing, "When they wake up, we'll question them."
Half an hour earlier…
James T. Kirk stood in front of the building looking similar to an Aztec temple. He led the away team into the temple. The away team consisted of McCoy, Sulu and himself. The ship had detected a sensory reading regarding gamma-rays from inside the temples structure. It was not supposed to be dangerous, but McCoy had gone just incase.
"Well men, looks like whatever it is causing this reading is inside the temple," Jim sighed.
"I am not going in there," McCoy snapped, "I'm a doctor, not an archeologist."
"Come on Bones, how bad can it seriously be?" Jim asked, walking into the temple.
"He just jinxed us, didn't he," McCoy grumbled.
"It doesn't seem to bad," Sulu shrugged, "How bad could the Aztec's actually be?"
The away team walked through a crumbling hall way, and stopped as they reached a central room. In the middle, sitting on a pedestal, was a gold encrusted feathered serpent with emeralds for eyes. It seemed to be smirking at them, as it sat on its pedestal.
"That's it?" Jim asked, frowning, "A stupid gold snake is the reason we're here?"
"Captain, I think you should stay away from the snake," Sulu said, watching as Jim started for the snake.
"It's a snake, how bad can it be?" Jim snapped.
Jim continued walking forward; however, his foot hit a carving of a jaguar. The central room lit up in white light, and when the light died down, the three of them were standing in the middle of a dark forest.
"Well, that's new," Jim mumbled.
"Jim! What did you do?" McCoy yelled.
"Nothing! I didn't even touch it," Jim snapped, kicking a rock.
"Captain, it seems that we don't have communication with the Enterprise,"
Sulu announced, checking his communicator.
"We'll figure something out," Jim sighed, "But until then…"
He crumpled to the ground after a bat connected to his head with a sickening crack. Sulu pulled out his phaser and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. The bat connected to his nose with a crunch. McCoy didn't have time to react before the bat hit him square in the face.
Standing triumphantly over the unconscious away team, Citlali Xochitl stood, holding her baseball bat. Half an hour later, Jim awoke, sitting in a lawn chair under a full moon. He tried to stand, and froze, realizing he was restrained in the chair by a silver rope of some sort.
"I wouldn't try it, I've duct taped you to the chair," a voice snapped at him.
Jim turned, to see a young woman glaring at him. She had tan skin, with black hair that looked blue in the moonlight. Her eyes were a light hazel, and watched him with focus while holding a metal stick in her hand. She wore sweats and a baggy t-shirt. Sitting in another lawn was a girl with light brown hair and bright blue eyes. She wore a tank top and shorts. Both girls weren't wearing shoes.
"You do know that it is a crime to attack an officer," Jim demanded.
"You hit a military man with a baseball bat," the blue eyed girl sighed, "You are so going to jail."
"Self defense, doesn't matter," the dark eyed girl smirked, holding up the stick.
"Jim! What is going on!" McCoy yelled, apparently awake.
"Captain, are we in any danger?" Sulu asked.
"No, we're just tied to chairs and our attacker is holding a metal stick," Jim answered, "We've had worse odds."
"One, it's duct tape, you can't break duct tape. Two, they're lawn chairs, and three, this," here the girl held up the stick, "Is a baseball bat. A.k.a. the stick of death, better known as Delilah. Any questions?"
"Do you have any idea who we are?" Jim asked.
"Do you know who we are," the blue eyed girl asked.
"No," McCoy snapped.
"Well, neither do we," the girls smiled slightly, "Why are you here?"
"Accident," Sulu responded, "What Star Date is it?"
"Star Date," the dark eyed raised an eyebrow, "Dude, it's the year 2010."
"2010," Jim chocked, "And who are you?"
"I Citlali Xochitl, and this is Nia Tirion," Ali grinned wickedly, "And welcome to Santa Cruz."
Jim stared blankly at the two, "You have got to be kidding me."
"No, I'm afraid I am not kidding," Ali raised an eyebrow, "What's your name then?"
"I am Captain James Tiberius Kirk," Jim glared at her, "This is Doctor Leonard McCoy, and helmsman Hikaru Sulu."
"Well, then it looks like you'll be here for a while," Nia smiled, "You seem a bit confused. Do you have a place to stay?"
"No," McCoy frowned.
"Then you'll just stay with us," Nia smiled, "It is the least we can do after hitting you with a baseball bat."
"What! That was trespassing on private property and self defense!" Ali glared, "They deserved it!"
"No, you just wanted to hit someone with Delilah," Nia rolled her eyes, "I'll get scissors for the duct tape."
That left Ali with the three men taped to the lawn chairs. The three were glaring at her, while she hummed an old tribal song. She swung the bat around and around in her hands, while she ignored the men.
"So, where are you from?" Ali asked.
"Star date 2258," Jim snapped.
"Huh, so you're from the future," Ali nodded, "So, do people get over run by monkeys?"
"What?" McCoy stared at her like she was crazy, "No, are you insane?"
"Dude, it's Planet of the Apes," Ali frowned, "Some American you are. Ignorant savages."
Nia walked back out with a chefs knife and cut them free, an apologetic smile on her face.
"I'm sorry about Ali, it's like she tries to make up for the fact that her ancestors were conquered," Nia smiled.
"Shut up Nia," Ali rolled her eyes, before opening the sliding door to the cabin and walking inside, "Well, come on in, it's freezing outside."
When the away team entered the cabin, they noticed only the kitchen lights were on and two bowls of ice cream were sitting on the counter next to a laptop. The walls were light tan, and it was a standard kitchen, with a counter facing the room they were standing in.
"Well, just sleep somewhere," Ali waved her hand around distractedly, "We'll figure it out in the morning."
Ali walked back into her bed room, and fell asleep. She awakened at ten the next morning, and headed down stairs to make pancakes, only to end up screaming when she spotted three grown men sleeping on the living room floor. Jim fell put of the lazy boy chair, and landed on McCoy, who had taken the floor. Sulu jerked awake on the couch, and pulled out his phaser.
"Nia! There's men in the living room who I don't know!" Ali screamed.
"You knocked them out last night!" Nia yelled back, still lying in her bed.
"Seriously?" Ali called, "That must have been awesome! Did it look really cool?"
"It looked kind of pathetic," Nia muttered, walking into the living room, "I mean, you knocked out three grown men with a baseball bat."
"It is now official," Ali grinned, "I am a beast!"
"She's something alright," McCoy muttered, glaring at the smiling girl.