The Acquisition of Memories. Chapter 1- Warp and Weft
Synopsis: Embarking on the first leg of their honeymoon, Charles and Elsie begin to process the events of their wedding day and those leading up to it. A series of internal reflections.
Rating: mostly K-T, but M for the later chapter/s.
Author Notes: This is my first ever fan fiction. Normally I just write essays for uni! I am playing with canon a bit- re-setting the character traits of our two favourite repressed English people to suit my tastes. The big one, at least at this stage, is to forget the whole Becky storyline for Elsie. I prefer her as a woman of more independent means. Hopefully, this fiction will make sense with just a few Author Notes before the chapters, as required. However, for my full and lengthy treatise on what I felt was right and wrong with S5 and S6 representation of Chelsie, please see my profile page.
**Be warned that my two favourite books to date are Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte and Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. As such, my writing may reflect their styles or try to incorporate certain phrases with varying levels of success!
***CE wedding date has been pushed out to 1926 to allow a historical event from that particular year to factor into my story of Chelsie's honeymoon.
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Chapter 1- Warp and Weft
Saturday, May 29th, 1926
Midday. Mr and Mrs Carson sink back into the plush ruby seats of their section of the first class train carriage with a sigh of wonderment, contentment, relief, and just a little tiredness. The train slowly heaves away from Ripon platform, headed towards London. The morning of their wedding was a whirlwind of nerves and joy. So many moments. Too many to fully process right now it would seem.
But Charles knows that he wants to. He wants to savour every moment and ingrain it onto his memory, when the time allows, so that he may access it again and again. So that he may replay his happiest day in his minds-eye and relive it as best he can- to be able to hold this jewel of a day once more within his fleeting daydreams. He figures that it will all come later- the organising of his thoughts into a clearer narrative that will tell the most important story of his short life. Then he will find a way to order the day's flurry of sensations that have flitted around and alighted so briefly upon his shoulders. A way to process and file away moments in the ledger of his heart. A way to build a home within himself for all of the emotions that have threatened to spill over and overwhelm him this bright May day- building a testament to the grandeur of his love. His own great house.
For now, it is enough to feel the calming motion, the rocking of the train along its set track as they pull away from the business of their wedding morning. Charles feels the shunt and slide of the carriage and breathes in deeply. The light perfume of Elsie tells him that he is home. With Elsie by his side, he will always be home and safe, no matter where she is. He sighs audibly into the carriage, relaxing next to Elsie, soothed by the slow rocking and cradled in her love.
Charles also knows that things nowadays rarely seem to follow the expected sequence. He sometimes feels that he has no control anymore- not since the Great War, that is for certain. He feels like he is always trying to hold back huge crashing waves with nothing more than a set of polished silver teaspoons. And it is not enough. Life now just seems to pick him up and roughly toss him forward on the roiling crests of change, and he is powerless to stop any of it. If it weren't for Elsie's steadying hand, he is sure he would have slipped under the waves and floundered ungracefully and alone until the end of his days- growing gruffer and more fractious and unlovable. Thank God for her ability to take him in hand and set him straight.
No time to dally the day speaks to Charles. Memories and moments are fickle beasts, Charles Carson, and right now we demand your strict attendance. So, rather than relaxing fully into the comfort of the first class train carriage, rather than being able to switch off his mind, Charles remains in a state of heightened awareness. He feels, almost, that he is standing to attention in his Butler's livery. Standing outside himself and looking into his own mind, and he understands that it is now his duty to serve the sacred memory of his wedding day by attending to it all right now. And so he sits quietly in the brief moment of their shared sighs as they relax into the companionable silence of friends who feel no hurry to speak of anything just yet. No anxious need to fill any silences exists when you have lived and breathed together for so long.
And so the thoughts, the images and the moments of the day, the newest and finest threads of his life so far, begin to weave an intricate picture of a brand new story into the fabric of his history.
He sees faces. So many smiling faces that came to wish them well this morning as they walked out of the church and into the bright May sunshine- finally and publicly and sacredly joined. Charles and Elsie. Charles, gazed towards Elsie beside him - smiling like he had never seen her smile before. Beside him. Beside him. Roses fell, and wheels click over the rails. Beside him. Such comfort. There is always Elsie. Elsie by his side. There has always been Elsie's smiling face to light his memories from within. Elsie. His beginning and his end. Elsie by his side.
Joined together across their years in service, as if by some invisible string that flexes and pulls at the innermost cores of their being. A thread that allows them to always sense where the other is in the great house whether near or far. That string that floats and twangs, pulling them together and apart- slackening and tightening as they walk the endless hallways and stairs. The dance of polish and lace – pocket watch timing and tinkling chatelaine. Unison. At its most perfect their dance goes unnoticed by all others in the house. It is the sign of great management- an art expressed through discreet performance. Long woven into the fabric of one another, now the threads are closely battened to reveal a full picture that is greater than the sum of its parts. Today they are finally and fully on display. Today the world can see and acknowledge and celebrate how indelibly joined two souls can be.
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