Title: Silence
Characters: Mello
Pairing: None – at least not in the present tense but M&M goodness in the past.
Rating: Work safe
Summary: Funerals are so silent, especially if you are the last one there. Mello's POV (Centered and Italic text are memories) And this is my favorite universe the alternate one!
Disclaimer: Don't own DN so don't prosecute.
A/N: Proud Matt Fan girl but loves to write sad stuff concerning our favorite gamer.
I stare at the single red rose in a sea of white ones.
This is the worst day of my life.
It's so quiet here as I sit, almost too quiet-any second I think I will hear the electronic blips and beeps of one of your gadgets.
Yet all I hear is silence.
"The Weather Channel is predicting a wicked Nor'easter why don't you wait a day or two before you go up. Or at least take the jeep." Mello said as he made himself more comfortable on the numerous pillows and underneath the blankets of Matt's bed.
"The jeep doesn't hum like my Chevelle; I'll be fine I'll probably beat the storm you know how I drive. And I'll be able to enjoy fresh powder for breakfast." Matt smiled as he tossed a turtleneck into his olive drab camouflage backpack next to the lump that was Mello.
"Why don't I come with you?" Mello asked.
"As funny as that sounds I would like it, but you are the only Russian I know that hates snow." Matt laughed.
"That's not entirely true; you can't look hot in layers. And snow makes me think of Near so I try to avoid it and him as much as possible!" Mello shot back as he sat up.
Ignoring what Mello had just stated Matt said, "Not to mention by the time you figure out what to wear, I would have to snowboard on grass."
Mello didn't like the thought of it but conceded against his better judgment.
"Fine, just call me as soon as you get there if not sooner and I mean it." Mello sighed trying not to pout as he folded his arms.
"I promise. I'll only be gone until Thursday and I'll wake you up myself the second I walk into the house." Matt said as he leaned over and kissed the blond.
Standing up I walk toward the casket; I can't bear the thought of leaving you here, but I don't want to see you go into a hole in the ground either. When I saw you on that slab in the morgue that night all I could think of was how pissed you were going to be if they had lost your goggles.
It didn't seem real to me and I completely disassociated.
The myth my mind made up was that you were in Tahoe snowboarding and you had simply lost track of time. Any second you were going to walk through the door in our apartment, and I was going to feign anger with you for not calling as you had promised. You would smile that smile then gaze at me with those eyes and all would be forgiven. Or even I would wake up to the annoying sounds of gun fire and explosions from one of your video games. The last vision actually is my favorite because I would have simply woken up to see you asleep beside me because you decided not to go to Tahoe after all.
It wasn't real until this very second.
'I'm all alone now.' I think to myself.
Honestly the only thing that comforts me now is the thought that because of my seat at the 'head of the table' I will probably be joining you soon.
Removing my leather glove from right my hand, I run my fingertips gently over the soft petals of the roses. Once I reached the red one I closed my hand tightly around its stem.
Pain.
I feel the pain of the thorns as they bite into my hand.
I need to feel this-all of it.
I close my eyes almost meditatively; as the sting begins to simply dull and fades away.
I wish my blood could fully atone for what happened to you. I wish the act of shedding my own blood could bring you back.
Removing the flower with my left hand I return it to its place and slip my glove back onto my still bleeding right hand.
This was never supposed to happen, never like this-never in a million years.
It's getting late, and I know I should go but I don't want to leave you Baby, not yet.
I walk back towards the chair I had been sitting in previously and sit down then I just stare in disbelief.
I sense a presence of someone walking towards me, I pray for them to keep their distance because I just cannot handle one more, 'I'm so sorry for your loss,' anymore.
But still this person continues to approach thankfully they stop about two or three feet away.
"Poor lamb." A female voice said softly.
I never turned around or acknowledged this person I just tried to will them away.
Lowering my head, I covered my face with my hands and heard the soft footsteps upon the Earth as the woman passed me.
Then I hear her softly say, "Yes right there."
What catches my attention is when I realize she is talking to someone else.
After a few moments, I hear something I thought I would never have heard before at least not in relation to you.
"Goodnight Daddy."
At the sound of that I quickly raise my head.
They turn to leave and I see where the voice emulated from; yet all I can do is look at her. She's a grandmotherly type with a kind face and gives me a warm and sympathetic smile. If I didn't know any better I could swear she could see right through to my very soul and see where my heart is now just a mass of broken bits. But whomever she was her eyes looked at me with a certain sense of familiarity that shook me.
Unfortunately she's standing at a bit of an angle and I can finally get of clear view of who she was speaking to; that is when I find my voice and all I can say is, "Is she?"
The woman nodded to me as she walked over in my direction.
The pair stopped.
I looked at the little girl for a moment as she hid behind her host, then I saw her peek almost shyly around from behind the hem of the woman's coat.
She was dressed in a pink wool coat with white tights and black patent leather Mary Jane shoes.
Then I saw her eyes, those beautiful green eyes I thought I would never see again.
I hoped the tears that were beginning to well in my eyes at this point would not fall because I didn't want to miss one single, second of that gaze.
Sniffing softly I smiled gently at her and she smiled back, "Thank you for telling him goodnight, I almost forgot to."
She nodded at me.
I don't think I've ever seen a child so perfect and one that I fell in love with from the second I laid eyes on her.
She looked up at the woman who was holding her hand then back at me.
Standing from my chair I watched her as she watched me as I knelt down to her height and held my arms out to her.
She looked up at the woman who responded with a nod, "It's alright."
Immediately the girl let go of the woman's hand and ran into my arms.
I felt such warmth from her as she hugged me.
She was pure love…
…everything that her father had always been to me.
Rocking her gently one of her strawberry blond pigtails brushed against my cheek as she released her hold on my neck and stepped back from me.
"What's your name Ladybug?" I asked her softly.
She smiled the sweetest smile at me and said, "Mihaela."
Finis…