-1Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible or any of the other characters that appear on the show.
Half way to immortality
Have you ever been so close to somebody, but they were not aware for it? Have you even done a gazillion and six mistakes just so the same said person would come after you? Have you ever felt half way immortal because that same said person was only around you half the time? And since she is only around you half the time the rest of your half life is so miserable that you want to end it right than and there because the feelings you have will never be returned simply due to the fact that they are not shared or they are placed so far down and press even farther down by views such as its gross or its wrong or it can't be happening to me? I just sitting here in the dark wondering how I going to cope with this. I have to much pride to finish this life by my own hands in a sense of justification for never being loved. I have too little pride to claim that love doesn't matter to me because obviously my life has been absolutely wonderful with out it.
My soul is so confused I can never sit still and it affects everybody around me. I wonder just how deep my feelings go and if I ever get a chance to act on them that they will be proven to be nothing but the self diluted fantasies of a person who placed herself into the exile that has now become my life. I ask who ever gets a chance to feel what it is that I'm feeling in this particular moment what did you do? If this is it if she is my true and unmatched soul mate why doesn't she feel the tug the brings us together like I do. Am I so different that the feeling is focused more on me and I now that society doesn't matter. And she just can't let what society thinks about her not bother her. Or is she not the one and I'm so lonely that I can never feel out the true person who has sparked my soul. I'm looking back at this and sensing a bit of a stalker in my own words. Do I stalker her? I mean I have checked up on her after we go at it. I worry about her and the company she keeps. Just like I hope she worries about me and the company I keep. How can I effect her to feel this way about me when I can't even effect my self to act on my feelings. I always go for what I'm wanting at the moment. So why is it so hard to express myself on such an important matter.
Just as long as nobody ever reads this with out my permission. I don't think I could take everybody looking at me like I'm any weirder than I am. I had another notion. If she ever asked me to come with her and seriously meant it would I go with her? Just to be with her and lose everything I have built this façade and exile on would I leave it all for her? Would I trade this life for the feeling of immortality? Can I trade my so called beliefs for wholeness? Is that the price of my soul, the felling of wholeness? Is that every bodies price? Am I to curious for my own good? Will I die married to someone I don't love and feel the knifes of emptiness dig into my soul for the next fifty years? Will I live that long even if I don't feel that sensation of immortality, or will I die when I truly given up all hope she will notice me? Would I care if I did? Well I'm going to wrap this up and go down to dinner with my family. If I keep them waiting any longer and my mother will send the tweebs to get me. And they ask to many questions as it is.
A/N This was just some ramblings that entered my mind and I decided to write them down. I hope you enjoyed it but if not I at least enjoyed writing it. So flame if you must I enjoy the heat. I have another question for all of us Kigo fans. Would we like this pairing if they were both male? Strange question I know but lets say we all truly believe in this shop due to personality and not because its two women. Hell for that matter what if lets say Kim's character was male or vice versa? Sorry I'm ranting and rambling something I do a lot. Any way thanks for reading I hope to catch you all later and if not it was nice to make your acquaintance even if it was just a chance meeting. later