** Author's notes...This is a super silly story that was in my head. Don't expect anything deep or serious with this, it's just for fun. Mature Rating for bad language, adult situations, sexual content, and some smut in later chapters. My disclaimer, none of the characters belong to me, I just borrow them from JE and dress them up and make them do ridiculous things, or in Ranger's case undress him and make him do naughty things. So hope you enjoy, review, and let me know your thoughts. Thanks.**
Halloween evening
Stephanie Plum was sitting on her kitchen counter watching Rex chewing on his carrot slice. She wondered what it would be like to live so simply, like her hamster, in his little glass home, spinning on his wheel, sleeping in his can. He had no worries. If only things for her were so easy, if only she had everything she needed provided for her like she did for Rex. She fed him, housed him, and provided him with new cans to hide in. What she did for Rex she did out of love, then she briefly wondered if anyone would ever love her enough to want to take care of her for nothing in return.
She sighed loudly and hopped off the counter wondering what it was she needed out of life anyway. Besides money for rent, food, shoes, and a running car she had no clue what she wanted for her life. She padded across the apartment and flopped onto her bed in her thinking position.
She'd been doing a lot of thinking since the night before. Her sometimes boyfriend Joe Morelli had stopped by with subs. There was nothing unusual about the visit at first. They hadn't seen much of one another for a few weeks, his full case load kept him busy. She knew what it meant to be second to his job, he was a cop on the rise after all, so she wasn't upset by the lack of dates. In all honesty, it had been a nice break from his demands and needs, but she had needs too and it'd been over eight weeks since they'd had sex. So when he stopped last night she began looking forward to the possibility of a social orgasm. She knew if she took a minute to think about their relationship she'd have to come to the realization that they used one another for a convenient fuck once and a while, but the love had been shelved years ago. She didn't like to think about her feelings so she buried them deeply and focused on her raging hormones instead. Unfortunately, that wasn't what was on Joe's mind for once. She sighed again as the conversation repeated through her mind.
"Cupcake, I wanted to talk to you about something," Joe said somberly.
"Okay. What's up?" she asked from the opposite end of the couch.
"You know we've had a non-commitment agreement for a while now. We never really talked about the possibility of dating other people," he started looking a little uncomfortable.
"Is this about Ranger?" she asked starting to get angry. "Because those dates were a job. You know that." She was sure he was trying to start another fight about the other man in her life, the man she'd pushed aside to give Joe a chance.
"Uh, no, I, uh, I wanted to make sure we are on the same page with dating other people, because I've been seeing someone." He was staring at the floor so he didn't see the anger flash in her eyes. "I'm going to take her to the Halloween party at Pino's and thought I should warn you before you heard from the grapevine."
"How considerate of you, Morelli," she said in a sickly sweet voice. "Who is she?"
"Crystal Minetti. We met at the dog park."
She raised her eyebrows at him. Crystal was a twenty-two year old Burg girl that washed hair at the Clip and Curl.
"Common Cupcake, you know I love you, but she's a good girl," he started.
"Girl is the right word. You were in high school was she was born, Joe. Don't you find that sick, because I do," she yelled at him. "What the hell could you have in common with a child?"
"She's takes care of me and acts like a lady and I don't have to worry about her when she goes to work," he answered back just as loudly.
She snorted at him as she tried to keep her rhino mode in check. "This is great news, Joe. I've been thinking of 'seeing' other men for some time too."
He glared at her, "I bet you have."
"Maybe one that can take care of himself, treats me like a lady, and doesn't try to belittle my job every time I go to work," she answered with her own glare. "Especially one that can manage to get me off more than quarterly."
"So you're going to go whoring to punish me?"
"Punish you? No, for once this has nothing to do with you, Joe. You've made your decision so from now on whatever or whoever I do are none of your concern."
"This is about Manoso then? I'm sure he'd be happy to service you."
"Get out!"
His face turned red at that, but he stood and stomped to the door. "You know this is your fault. If you'd give up the job and stay home I'd marry you, but no, you have to run around trying to prove how tough you are to HIM. He'll never want you like I do, but you can't see it. It's pathetic the way you chase after a man that doesn't want you, Steph, everyone thinks so. You'll never be more than a quick fuck to him."
"Fuck off, Morelli, you don't know shit."
He shook his head and walked out the door.
Stephanie slapped her hand over her ears trying to cover the sound of the phone ringing. It was driving her crazy. She grabbed the phone and screamed, "What?"
"Christ, Steph," Mary Lou laughed into the phone. "So you've heard about Morelli carting around that little tramp from the Clip and Curl? They have matching costumes."
"So that asshole's been planning this for a while," she hissed.
"What do you want to do about it?" Mary Lou laughed then. She had been Steph's best friend since they were babies, she knew that revenge was the only thing on Steph's mind at the moment.
"We need back up and tequila," Steph smiled.
"I'll bring the booze," Mary Lou answered with a giggle. "Should I dress for sabotage?"
"Oh yeah."
Stephanie smiled as she hung up the phone and dialed the bonds office. "Vincent Plum Bail Bonds how may I help you?" Connie answered in a bored voice.
"Hey, it's Steph. I need you and Lula to come over tonight. Mary Lou is on her way with tequila."
"So you heard about Morelli?"
"Is that white girl?" Lula shouted and took the phone. "What we doin' bout Super Cop putting it to that little girl?"
Stephanie laughed. "We're having a girl's night out. Wear black, we may need to blend."
"Like a catsuit?" Lula asked.
Stephanie rolled her eyes picturing Lula's black outfit. "No, something that'll blend, think Ranger." They hung up and Stephanie smiled to herself wondering what the Lula version of Ranger would look like.
Ranger Manoso, fellow bounty hunter and security specialist, was her mentor, partner, sometimes boss, friend, lover, and savior. He was tall, built like a god covered in mocha latte skin, with silky dark hair, and brown fuck-me eyes. He often wears black clothing and travels in a variety of expensive black cars. He moves through the night without sound, going undetected by the scum of the city that he's hunting. That was why she called him Batman.
She'd been tempted to call him for the last two weeks. It seemed like too long to go without talking to him, but she couldn't come up with a good excuse to bug him. 'I just wanted to hear your voice' wasn't a good enough reason to interrupt him while he was saving the world, was it? It'd probably be wrong to just drop in for a Ranger induced orgasm too, especially since she wanted so much more. She was crazy, mad in love with him and Joe was probably right, Ranger would never want more than sex, hell he'd said as much.
She didn't know how long she'd spent day dreaming about her Batman, but she was suddenly interrupted by knocking on the door. She checked the peep hole and found her sister Val standing there. She opened the door and Val burst in with chocolate cake and Kahlua. She was wearing a black cotton leotard under leggings with a tail and ears, PTA Catwoman.
"What's up, Val?"
"I heard about that asshole Morelli cheating with that young girl. I brought supplies," Val declared.
"Alright." Steph watched as she poured the booze in beer mugs over ice and cut two giant slices of cake. She was kind of worried about Val. Her first husband had run off with their much younger babysitter. "I thought you were taking the kids trick or treating tonight."
"Albert's taking them. We need a girl's night." Stephanie couldn't help but laugh at the idea of her bumbling brother-in-law taking four kids trick or treating by himself, but her sister's second husband was a good man. He was kind and sweet to her and he loved Val completely.
Steph shrugged at her sister, "Alright, girl's night it is. Mary Lou, Connie, and Lula are headed over too." The sisters stood at the counter eating their cake and sipping their drinks, both lost in thought about how the men of their pasts were nothing better than cheating assholes. At least Valerie had found a good guy her second time around. Steph wondered if she'd ever be as lucky as Val, to find someone that worshipped her and their relationship. Steph was finally brought out of it by the knocking on the door.
"We brought supplies too," Connie said holding up a brown bag. Connie looked like a jersey girl in all her glory with her big hair and giant hoop earrings. She was in black skinny jeans and a scoop neck, skin tight, black sweater that hugged her giant chest. The only color she had on her were her red nails, lips, and FMP's.
"Come in and unpack," Val answered, clearly taking over the kitchen. Steph didn't care if she wanted to play hostess, more power to her.
"What the hell? Your sister's wearin' a cat suit. You said no cat suits," Lula grumbled looking at the perfect little blonde swinging her tail around the kitchen.
"I think she just showed up in her costume from the kid's school," Steph answered with a smile. "Besides, you're smokin' hot."
"Damn skippy," Lula grinned back at her. She was wearing black tights with a black mini skirt and a black wrap top that didn't come close to covering her chest, but the best part were the knee high black patent boots that hugged her calves. "Now let's get this party started." She pulled booze out of her own bag and followed the others to the kitchen.
Before the bag was unloaded Mary Lou appeared with tequila and strawberry margarita slush in a full ice cream pail. Stephanie grinned at her oldest friend. She'd remembered to wear running shoes this time with her black pants, tee shirt, and hoodie. "I brought more booze," she said excitedly as she looked over the supplies on the counter.
The women made their first drinks and sat in a circle around the coffee table. "Okay girl, so what we doin' bout Super Cop?" Lula said with a somewhat evil laugh.
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Lester and Hal sat in the RangeMan SUV watching Stephanie's apartment. They were hidden in the back corner of the parking lot covered by shadows so the women didn't notice them as they headed inside the building. As they watched the forth woman go inside they looked at each other. "Not it," Hal shouted.
Lester rolled his eyes at the other man. "Fucker." He didn't want to report in to the boss either, but a girl's night was a hell of a lot better than having to report she was fucking the cop instead. Lester pulled out his phone and punched in speed dial two.
"Report," Ranger's voice called over the phone.
"Got an initial confirmation on her plans for the night," Lester said with a smile.
"And?" Ranger growled getting annoyed at the silence. He wasn't really sure he wanted to know. He kept imagining her in some skimpy little costume wrapped around fucking Morelli. That piece of shit didn't deserve her.
"Looks like she's planning on staying in tonight," Lester smirked, he knew this would drive the boss nuts.
"Explain." Ranger knew his voice was more a growl, but if Lester was holding back information he'd get punished a lot harder than being put on Steph watch next time. It wasn't like he wanted to know the details of her staying in with the other man, but he had to know. It was like a fucking sickness.
"Well, by looks of the supplies going in she plans to have a real good time tonight." Les laughed at that. Hal gave him a look that told him he thought he was nuts to poke the boss.
Ranger's mind was whirling. What kind of supplies did she need to have a good time with Morelli? He didn't want to think about it, he really didn't, but his mind was going a mile a minute and it was heading nowhere good. Fuck, he had to know. "Supplies?"
This got a gleeful laugh out of Lester. "Yeah boss, four women and at least five bottles of booze."
What the fuck? Ranger wasn't expecting that explanation. "Explain."
"First, her sister showed up with what looked like Kahlua, then Connie and Lula come in with brown bags of bottles, and now we just had Mary Lou go in with a bucket of margaritas and an extra bottle of Cuervo."
Ranger listened to the explanation and had a feeling this was the beginning of a long night. "Fuck," he said softly. "A girl's night." This was never a good thing.
"You want us to stay on her, boss?" Lester asked.
"Yeah, I have a feeling they're not planning to stay in. Report if you have movement and stay on her no matter what," he ordered before ending the call. He called the control room next. "Pull up Morelli's tracker."
He'd put a tracker on his truck a while back. He hadn't bothered to check it though, he knew if he saw it at Steph's apartment he'd only be torturing himself. "Looks like he's at Pino's," Binkie reported. "Bombshell's trackers are all at her apartment."
"Let me know if either tracker move." He hung up and looked across the desk at his best friend.
"We need someone to check out Pino's?" Tank asked with a knowing grin. Ranger gave one nod and leaned back in his chair while he listened to Tank call Cal and Woody to stop in for a pizza and check what Morelli was up to. Once he was finished with his call he looked back at Ranger. "They're having a Halloween party at Pino's, so it may take them a bit to get in and out of there." Ranger nodded again. "Problem with Steph?" Ranger lifted an eyebrow at him. "Haven't seen her around much in the last few weeks."
"She didn't call."
"Did you call her?" Tank asked knowingly.
"I didn't have a reason to call her."
"You could have told her you just wanted to hear her voice. Women love that shit," Tank answered with a smile. "Or you could have invited her over for dinner." Ranger knew what was implied there and glared at him.
"I'm not going to instigate a booty call with her." Again, he added in his head.
Tank laughed loudly. "Have you told her?"
"What?"
"That you're in love with her."
Ranger's eyes darkened with anger. "Fuck off."
"Come on, RangeMan. What's got you so worried tonight?"
"She's up in her apartment with her sister, Connie, Lula and Mary Lou and half a liquor store. You know how she can't hold her liquor." It went without saying that a group of unruly drunk women were crazy, but knowing the women in that particular group there was the possibility of felonies being committed before the night was over.
Tank answered his phone when Woody called in a report. Tank's face didn't give anything away, but the gentle, "Awe, fuck," he uttered was telling. He hung up and looked at his best friend. "Looks like Morelli's on a date with a little piece dressed as a naughty police officer." He held his phone up to show Ranger the photo Woody had sent him.
Ranger looked at the photo of Morelli dressed in a prisoner jumpsuit with his tongue down the throat of a young woman dressed as a cop, her ass was hanging out from the angle the picture was snapped in. "Young," Tank commented.
Ranger nodded. He wondered if the age of the other woman had something to do with the amount of alcohol Steph was planning to consume. Personally he didn't get it, women closer to his daughter's age than his own did nothing for him besides make him feel old. "I didn't hear about a break up."
Tank shrugged. "You haven't called her."
"You ever going to let that go?"
Tank grinned. "Sure, if you call her now."
"Why? She's busy."
"Feel out her mood. Find out what they're up to," he encouraged.
Ranger felt like giving him one of Steph's eye rolls, but instead he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial one. It rang for a moment before he heard her giggle. "Yo," she answered almost breathlessly.
"Yo, yourself Babe," he said with a smile on his lips.
"Did you need me, Ranger?"
"Always." He grinned bigger imagining her flushed cheeks.
"Oh, um, I meant for a job," she stammered.
Damn, she is so cute. "No. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Halloween. I know how you love it."
There was silence for a second. "Oh, uh, thanks Ranger. Happy Halloween to you too."
Tank was grinning at him and making a motion for him to keep going. Ranger finally gave into the eye roll, making Tank laugh. "Babe, I have a confession. I've missed you the last few weeks. I just wanted to hear your voice." He knew that would drive her crazy.
"Is this MY Ranger?" she squeaked out, obviously confused by what he was telling her. He never shared his feelings or said sappy shit like that, but it seemed to be affecting her. Then again, she'd clearly had a few drinks already.
"Yeah, Babe, this is definitely YOUR Ranger," he answered her. Tank laughed at that and Ranger couldn't help but give him the finger. That got a louder laugh from Tank.
"Oh, um, I missed hearing your voice too. I was going to call you a bunch of times, but I figured you were busy with work and I didn't want to bother you since I didn't really need anything, but I thought about calling to say hi, but you're too busy for that, so I just sat here and thought about you a lot," she babbled into the phone. She'd clearly drank at least three drinks to spill her thoughts like that.
Ranger couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out his lips. "I'm never too busy to talk to you. Call me anytime you want."
"Oh," she murmured.
"Babe?"
"Yeah Ranger?"
"I thought about you a lot too."
"Damn," she whispered breathlessly, the sound made his pants feel suddenly a little tight.
"Is that Batman?" Lula shouted in the background. Ranger heard the girls yelling something and then the phone made some strange noises before Lula was yelling in his ear. "Is this Batman?"
"Lula," he answered.
"You heard 'bout that dumb ass Morelli, right? You need to get yo' ass over here and make yo' move. That shit with them is over for good this time. Ain't no goin' back after the shit he pullt."
"Lula, put Steph back on the phone," he said coolly, while inside he was doing his own happy dance.
"You love her, don't you?" Lula persisted.
"Fuckin' A, Lula, now put her on the phone."
She laughed gleefully. "Fuckin' A, Batman."
"Sorry Ranger. Lula's been drinking," Steph muttered into the phone. "Are you working tonight?"
"I am. We have a skip ready to pick up in about an hour."
"Oh, alright, maybe I'll talk to you tomorrow then?" she asked. Ranger could hear the hope in her voice.
"For sure. Have fun tonight, Babe, don't go too crazy," he answered with a smile on his lips.
"I won't, it's just a girl's night. Be safe on the takedown, don't get shot," she answered back.
"I promise," he told her before he hung up the phone.
He grinned, she was going to be his this time. "That go well?" Tank asked grinning back at him.
"Lula said Morelli fucked up and Steph wasn't going back."
"So you're going to call her tomorrow?" Ranger nodded to him, wild horses couldn't drag him away.
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Steph hit end call and smiled at her phone. Ranger gave her warm fuzzies. She looked up at Lula's smirking face. "Batman loves you," she said doing a little dance around Steph.
Stephanie rolled her eyes and looked at her other friends. "What did he say?" Mary Lou asked with a hopeful look on her face.
"He said he loved her," Lula said bouncing up and down.
"He did not. He said he'd call me tomorrow to talk," Steph answered.
"That's what he told you. I'm talkin' bout what he told me," Lula interrupted. "He told me he loves you."
"Are you serious?" Connie asked wide eyed.
"Damn skippy," Lula replied.
"Sometimes I wish I would have married Ranger," Val said dreamily.
"You realize that was never on the table right?" Steph asked her sister.
"That's only because you wanted him for yourself," Val argued making the rest of the girls laugh.
"Whatever," Stephanie said plopping back onto the floor to pick up her drink off the table.
"If Lenny didn't mind sharing I wouldn't mind a night with Ranger either," Mary Lou agreed.
"Shut up," Steph cried.
"What? He's hot. Who hasn't imagined what he's like in bed?" she continued.
"Mary Lou," Steph begged trying to shut her up.
"She's right, Steph. Just the sight of his biceps gives me palpitations," Connie agreed. "I think I'd die if I got to see him naked."
"Mm, yeah, all those muscles," Val sighed.
"Will you all shut up," Steph yelled.
"Come on girl, you know there ain't a woman breathing that'd turn that man down," Lula added with a shrug.
"You're so not helping," Steph glared at her.
"I'm not saying he'd take them up on it, he loves you," Lula added with a grin. "But his body is slammin'."
"Damn it. We're supposed to be planning revenge tonight, not talking about MY Ranger's body."
"Your Ranger," Connie grinned with a nod. "Maybe we need revenge AND catch a Ranger plans for tonight."
"Yeah," Mary Lou agreed. "We can do both."
"Joe first," Steph finally agreed hoping they'd just forget about Ranger for the night.
"So we talking bodily damage revenge or just you're an asshole revenge?"
"The second one I think. I'm not as angry anymore."
"So we're talking more property damage," Connie said thoughtfully.
"Shit, it's Halloween," Mary Lou said excitedly. "Remember freshman year?"
They all watched as Stephanie's face split into a huge grin. "Oh, Lou, that's fucking perfect."
"What'd you do freshman year?" Connie asked.
"You remember all the houses that got hit with the burning doggy poop?" Val asked nodding yes when Connie's eyebrows rose.
"That was you two?"
They nodded excitedly. "Not only that, but we toilet papered Bella Morelli's house and egged Morelli's car and girlfriend," Steph laughed.
"Terri was pissed," Mary Lou laughed at the memory.
"Not as pissed as Carl Costanza was when we pantsed him and shrink wrapped him to the telephone pole by Uncle Mo's candy store," Stephanie laughed harder.
"That was ALL you two?" Connie asked, clearly impressed.
Stephanie's laughing was making it hard to breath. "We got Joyce too. We broke in her room and stole all her underwear. We left bras and panties with her name printed inside in cars all over town."
"Holy shit, that was you too?" Connie was stunned.
"For months women were finding her underpants in their husband's cars. She got the reputation she deserved out of that one," Mary Lou laughed.
"You both got grounded," Val interrupted.
"Worth it, besides Mom could never prove we did any of it," Stephanie said excitedly. "We need to do it again."
"I ain't TP-ing Crazy Bella's house," Lula said shaking her head.
"She's an old woman, she'll be in bed early." Clearly Mary Lou was up for anything.
"She'll give us the eye," Connie agreed with Lula.
"Really, what's the worst she can do? Her worst was giving me the Vordo, nights of endless Ranger induced orgasms was a real curse," Steph said waving her hands around excitedly.
"You was walking funny for a week," Lula laughed.
"Again, I say ENDLESS Ranger orgasms, totally worth it," Steph grinned. They all quietly contemplated that.
"Where are we gonna get dog shit?" Connie finally asked.
"Bob. Joe's backyard his like hitting the mother lode."
Val pulled a notebook out of her purse with a pink gel pen. "Who are we all hitting then?"
"You're in?" Stephanie asked her. Her sister was always a goodie-goodie, she couldn't imagine her doing something illegal or fun.
"You only live once, right?" Val answered back. "Now, let's make a plan here."
"Vinnie," Connie suggested.
"And Joyce," Lula agreed.
"Obviously Joe," Steph added. "And his little Grandma too."
"Kelly Martin," Val said writing her name on the list. "She told everyone I baked the cupcakes that she burned for last week's bake sale."
"And my neighbor Mr. Kapinski. He told me my boys were devil spawn," Mary Lou bitched.
"Carl and Big Dog, they bet on me coming in full of garbage yesterday." Steph's evil grin made them all laugh.
"Tank," Lula finally added. "He dumped me for a fuckin' cat."
Stephanie laughed, "What about Ranger?"
"You want to prank Ranger?"
"It'd be a challenge," Steph shrugged like that's all there was to it.
They continued to drink and laugh while they wrote out a list of supplies and decided on a route to follow through with all the people they'd get.
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Lester and Hal were ready to call it a night, they'd been sitting in the parking lot for three hours watching for the women to move. Ranger was sure they were up to something and he usually wasn't wrong, but Lester was beginning to wonder if it was just a drunken slumber party. He wondered if he should climb up onto the fire escape to take a look, make sure they were alright and clothed and not making out or something.
"Oh shit, check this out," Hal said pointing to the group of women loading into Val's black minivan.
"Christ, they're all dressed in black. They're up to something," Lester sighed.
"Maybe they ran out of drinks," Hal said hopefully.
"They ain't dead, so I doubt that's it," Lester laughed.
"Let's roll," Hal said starting the truck as the women pulled out of the parking lot. They stayed back a couple blocks, keeping the van in their sights. They watched as they pulled into the all night Wal-Mart. "We going in?"
"No, let's wait here. I don't want Steph to spot us," Lester answered. They sat there for about a half hour watching before the girls walked out with bags of stuff.
"What the hell does Steph need all that toilet paper for?" Hal asked as he tilted his head and looked through binoculars at them. "Eggs, plastic wrap, shaving cream, lunch bags," he said listing off what he could see in the bags.
Lester let out a loud bark. "Fuck, this is going to be good." He pulled out his phone as Hal pulled back onto the road behind the women's van. "Boss? We just followed them to Walmart."
"Walmart?"
"Yeah. Looks like Steph needed to pick up a few things?" Lester said letting out a big laugh.
"Details."
"Eight, twenty-four packs of toilet paper, a bag of eggs, a bag of shaving cream, some plastic wrap, and some paper lunch sacks," Lester explained.
"Fuck. You're still on her right?"
"Oh, yeah, I ain't missing this show." Lester laughed again. "They're all dressed in black, head to toe, looks like they're on a mission."
"Christ, get a video on this," Ranger laughed. "Send in the first location when you get there."
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Ranger walked down to the comm. room and sat down next to Binkie. "Boss," he said with a nod.
"Pull up Lester's video feed," Ranger told him as Tank pulled a chair up next to him. Ranger watched as they pulled to a stop behind Mary Lou's house. Four of the women got out leaving the driver in the van. They each had a package of toilet paper rolls.
Ranger's eyes went to Stephanie immediately. She was dressed in a pair of her black cargos and one of his black hoodies she'd stolen. He smiled at the screen, she was too cute when she wore his clothes, like a little girl drowning in grown up clothes.
Tank started laughed as he watched them creep up to the neighbor's house. "They're out toilet papering houses?"
Ranger nodded watching as Lester followed them around the house undetected. They moved like a well-oiled machine, covering the entire yard in toilet paper. Every tree and bush was draped in white by the time they were finished. They ran back around the house and dove into the van, peeling away from the scene. From the video he could tell Lester was running too and Hal took off just as fast once his partner was in the truck. "That was a piece of art work," Binkie said approvingly.
Tank was still laughing. "We should hire her sister. Quite the getaway driver," he barked another laugh.
Ranger smiled as Bobby, Manny, and Cal joined them at the monitors. "Looks like they're headed toward Morelli's," Tank said with a smirk.
They watched as the van stopped at Morelli's backyard. Steph and Lula got out of the van. Steph pulled on some elbow length rubber gloves and grabbed a garbage bag while Lula boosted her over the fence into the backyard. "What the fuck is she doing?" Bobby asked leaning forward.
Ranger answered his phone, hitting the speaker button. Lester was laughing so hard he could hardly talk. "I can't get the camera in there without being seen boss, but she's bagging up Bob's shit."
"What?" Manny asked.
"The dog, she's got an entire garbage bag of dog shit," Lester said laughing until he snorted. They could hear Hal laughing in the background. "These bitches are crazy."
Ranger shook his head and watched Steph toss the bag of shit over the fence and pulled herself up. She only needed to swing her legs over and drop, but she seemed to be hesitating. Lester was barking out another laugh. "They won't move the shit bag and she's afraid she's going to land in it." The guys were all laughing at that. It would be Steph's luck to land in the shit.
Mary Lou got out of the van and loaded the shit bag into the back before coming back and standing by the fence so Steph could step onto her shoulders and dismount like they were a pro-team. "Damn, she's a touch little cookie. Her and Bomber got some moves there," Bobby said appreciatively.
Ranger grinned as Hector, Vince, and Ram gathered around with the rest of the group as Manny filled them in on their hijinks. He shook his head and made a call to Ella. He knew by the look of that bag of shit the night had only just begun for his Babe, she'd need him before it was over.
"What do you think they have planned?" Ram asked watching the van move through the Burg.
"We need a book opened on this one," Vince said grabbing a paper and pen. "I'm betting they fill Morelli's truck with the dog shit."
Everybody laughed and bets started flying. "That's not personal enough for Morelli," Ranger said in a low voice. "I'm betting the shit goes to Joyce's house." The guy's laughing hit a new level as they thought about that.
"Damn, that's Vinnie's house," Vince said excitedly.
The men watched as they parked down the block. Stephanie and Connie crept from the van and moved into the driveway. "Damn, Connie can pick a lock as fast as you RangeMan," Tank laughed watching as she slipped the lock and the two of them disappeared into the garage.
Lester moved around to the side of the garage and lifted the camera to the window. Steph had a little pen light in her teeth so they could see as her and Connie ran around the car spreading the packages of plastic wrap around Vinnie's car from roof to tires in a thick layer. They then switched to a new roll and stood one on each side of the car. They tossed the roll over the car to the other woman while pulling the plastic tightly over the roof before rolling it back under the car. Around and around until you could barely see what the color of the car was. Then Steph grabbed the shaving cream and sprayed P.E.T.A. and other animal rights sayings onto the car with the cream.
Everyone, including Ranger, was laughing now. The stories of Vinnie fucking ducks, dogs, and cats was widely known and Steph used it brilliantly. They were excitedly anticipating the next attack.
The women drove only a few blocks, toward the edge of the Burg before stopping again. They looked up the address, but no one recognized the name of the family that lived there. Steph got out of the van and pulled the gloves back on, filled one of the large paper lunch sacks with dog shit and twisted the top shut. Her sister had moved to stand next to her and grinned at the shit sack. Steph handed her the bag and a lighter. The sisters stood there smiling at one another before they quickly hugged. Steph jumped into the driver seat as Val disappeared into the yard.
They watched eagerly as Val lit the bag, placed it onto the doorstep, and rang the bell. She took off around the side of the house. The van moved when a woman opened the door and stomped onto the shit bag and started screaming. Steph whipped the van around the block to pick up her sister. Val hopped in without the van even coming to a full stop. "God damn, I'm a little in love," Ram grinned watching the little blond woman. The guys all laughed at him, but Ranger knew more than one of the guys was probably agreeing with him.
Ranger watched as Steph slowed the van and pulled it around the corner. The women unloaded again, grabbing more of the toilet paper while leaving Val behind the wheel this time. "Bella Morelli's house," Bobby said checking the address.
"Morelli's grandma," Ranger said with a grin.
"The one with the eye?" Binkie asked remembering Steph's weird story about the Italian witch.
Ranger grinned and nodded remembering when Steph was convinced the old bag cursed her into being a slut. He laughed to himself, maybe she'd get caught and get cursed again. He could stand being used as a sex toy again, second best week of his life, the first was the week in Hawaii with her. He adjusted himself before it became painfully obvious he'd lost control of his thoughts.
The women toilet papered everything, hitting it even better than Mary Lou's neighbor's house. He leaned closer to the screen as he watched Stephanie squat down and wrap the statue of the virgin in TP, she looked like a mummy when Steph was done with her. "Oh, shit, that old hag is going to be spitting when she sees that," Tank snorted.
"Bombshell's being a bad girl," Cal laughed.
"I like naughty girls," Vince grinned back as they fist bumped.
"You spank her, boss?" Hector asked with a laugh. Ranger just shook his head with a smile.
"I have a feeling this is the tame shit the other women planned," Bobby smiled at Ranger with a knowing look. He agreed, knowing Steph the best was yet to come.
They loaded back into the van and drove out of the residential area. They pulled onto a side street and parked. Steph and Lula unloaded from the van. They moved quietly through the street toward the police station. "What the hell are they doing?" Cal asked, getting nervous for her safety.
Ranger wasn't sure either, but he knew this was one of Steph's plans and her plans weren't always the best. He text Lester, "Cover her."
"On it already. Sounds like they're looking for Carl and Big Dog," Lester text back.
"Shit," Ranger said softly. "She's going after Costanza and Big Dog."
Tank grinned back at him and shook his head. They watched their women duck behind a police car. It wasn't more than fifteen minutes before the two of cops headed out of the station toward their cars. The women popped up and stun gunned both cops instantly. "Holy fuck," Binkie said blinking. "They took out cops."
Ranger watched as they grabbed Carl first and carried him toward the sidewalk. Steph pulled his pants down so he was only in his boxers and held him against the telephone pole while Lula plastic wrapped him to the pole. They returned for Big Dog and did the same without taking down his pants. The guys were laughing again, gasping for air. "Shit, I think I'm in love now," Vince laughed smiling at them.
Ranger and Tank both pinned him with a nasty glare. "Joking," Vince said holding his hands up in submission. "Your women are amazing. I can't help it."
Ranger watched them load back into the van and pull away from the area. He waited until they were out of the area before using a secure, untraceable line to call the police station. "I was driving by your lot and saw two officers tied up to utility poles. You should check on them." He hung up and laughed. He knew Steph didn't want them harmed, just made fun of.
The women slowed as they cruised by Pino's. They pulled into the lot and Stephanie popped the back passenger door of the van, she leaned out of the van and launched two perfectly aimed eggs at Morelli's windshield. The alarm started going off, but Val already had her van out of the lot and pulled into an alley to hide. They waited there about twenty minutes, until they saw Morelli's truck pass. They pulled out a few minutes later and followed him back into his neighborhood. They didn't pull onto his street. Morelli would notice a tail and he was probably pissed off.
Lester got close enough that they could see the women again. Steph was bagging up shit sacks again while Mary Lou grabbed a few dozen eggs. "Oh shit, they're going after Morelli," Bobby said sounding as excited as a kid at Christmas.
Ranger checked his phone. Lester text him, "No worries, boss, positioned to pull her out if needed."
They all watched as the women positioned five bags of shit across the steps and started the bags on fire. Stephanie went to the left and Mary Lou to the right, each with a couple dozen eggs. Steph fired first, hitting his truck again, setting off the alarm. Morelli stormed out the door looking around, almost missing the burning shit in front of him. He kicked it off the porch, spreading shit everywhere. Before he could react to the shit, his truck, his house, and his body were pelted with eggs. He was clearly screaming and waving his hands. The little slutty cop emerged from the house behind him and was hit square between the eyes with an egg and then shot twice in the chest and a couple times in the hair while Morelli was still being hit.
Lester was running again, chasing after the retreating women, watching until they hopped into the van and were out of Morelli's neighborhood. Hal picked him up and they took off after the van. "Holy shit, Bomber's got an arm on her," Bobby grinned.
"She played softball," Ranger answered quietly, still grinning at the monitor.
"That's your girl, man," Tank said slapping him on the back. "We need to alibi her?"
"Taken care of," Ranger smiled. "I think she has one more stop."
Just then the comm. Room was filled with the sound of Stephanie's alarm going off. It immediately started broadcasting sound. "Shit, she hit the button on her watch," Tank laughed while Ranger grinned and motioned for the men to turn the sound up. Six more of his men ran into the room, but Ranger motioned for them to be quiet so they settled in around the monitors with the others.
"I can't believe fuckin' Joe just stood there and screamed like a little bitch while we hit him with eggs," Mary Lou was screaming and laughing along with the other women. The guys were laughing just as hard remembering what they saw.
"Asshole," Steph muttered making Ranger smile.
"You get his bitch too?" Connie asked. "I woulda took that bitch out."
"Nah, he's the one that's an asshole," Steph said.
"Well, I did. Hit her with a half dozen eggs," Mary Lou answered still laughing. "She stood there and started crying. Fucking crying."
"Well, that's what happens when you fuck a toddler," Val yelled through the laughter. "They can't play with the big girls."
"Between her black eye and his bruised balls I bet he doesn't get any tonight," Stephanie told them making the laughter start over. Half the guys silently moved their hands over their crotches.
"You got him in the balls?" Lula asked.
"Two direct hits," Stephanie snorted. "Dumb ass didn't cover himself after the first shot." Ranger was laughing silently at his Babe's words. She really was an amazing women and one he planned to not piss off.
"Awesome," Connie laughed. "Someone should castrate him. I should call my uncle."
"Whatever, it felt good to get a little aggression out, but I'm done worrying about Morelli. The rest of his life has nothing to do with me," Stephanie announced. "I am free and clear and got the last fucking word." Tank slapped Ranger on the back with a big grin while Bobby and Cal gave him the thumbs up sign. He knew his guys were all hoping for the two of them to finally get together and he hoped to oblige them, soon.
"Fuckin' A. Now you can put all your energy into jumpin' Batman's bones," Lula laughed loudly.
"Yeah, I expect to see you walking funny for a week, again," Connie snorted. The guys were loving this.
"Only a week? She can't limit herself to only a week of Ranger induced orgasms can you, Steph?" Mary Lou asked her.
Stephanie laughed then, the sound going directly to Ranger's heart. "You people make him sound like a piece of meat," she answered with a groan. The guys were all laughing and shaking their heads.
"You tellin' me you don't want to get freaky with Batman?" Lula yelled at her.
"I didn't say that. I'm not dead," she replied. Ranger sat staring at the monitor, watching the van's tail lights, willing her to say more.
"But?" Connie finally asked, obviously hearing the word just like Ranger had.
Stephanie didn't reply. "A shrug ain't no answer," Lula bitched at her.
"But she doesn't want to sleep with Ranger," Mary Lou answered. Ranger felt the guy's eyes on him, but he stayed focused on the screen.
"Why the hell not? If you didn't want him you could have let me marry him," Val yelled at her. Ram snorted at the comment.
"For fuck's sake, you realized marrying him was never on the table right?" Stephanie yelled back at her.
"Because you wouldn't even set us up," Val shot back.
"No, because he doesn't want a relationship with ANYONE," Stephanie nearly screamed. Ranger felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Bobby turned in his seat and glared at Ranger, giving him a WTF look.
"Well, shit," Lula muttered.
"So you're not going to tell the man you've been madly in love with him for the last three years because you think he doesn't want a relationship with you?" Mary Lou asked in a harsh voice.
"No. I know he doesn't want a relationship with me and I'm not going to tell him I'm in love with him because I'd probably never see him again, he'd be in the wind as soon as the words left my mouth. God. Now I don't even have Morelli's stupid ass to hide behind. How am I supposed to hide my feelings from Ranger now?" Stephanie asked them. Ranger's mind wasn't keeping up with the information that was being given. She loved him, but wouldn't tell him. In the wind? Hiding behind Morelli?
"I think you should tell him," Connie told her.
"He loves your skinny ass," Lula agreed.
"Sure, in his own way. Whatever the fuck that is," Steph groaned again. "Can we let this drop now? We've got another stop." Tank kicked Ranger's chair and glared at him.
"In your own way?" Tank asked. "What the fuck have you done?"
"I fucked up," he muttered back as he heard all his stupid words come back at him. "Shit."
"Fix this," Tank glared at him.
"Tonight," Bobby agreed.
"Or I'm asking her out," Vince grinned at him before the rest of the guys joined in agreeing that they wanted a shot.
"She is mine," Ranger growled.
"Make sure she knows it this time," Tank growled back at him. "Or I'll kick your ass." Ranger glared at him and motioned to the screen.
The van pulled up down the block from Joyce's house. Ranger recognized it from the time he had helped Steph break into it. She filled six more bags of dog shit and twisted them shut. This time Lula grabbed three while Steph grabbed the other three and Connie grabbed the remainder of the shit stash. They positioned the shit bags around the front of the house while Connie dumped the pile in the middle of the porch. They lit the bags and Connie tossed a match onto the pile. They all took off running, before stopping to watch from the corner of the house.
It didn't take long for the porch fire to get out of control. "Fuck," Ranger muttered, instantly on his phone. "Pull them out," he shouted to Lester as he listened the girl's screams over the transmitter. "And turn off her watch without her noticing."
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Steph was having the night of her life. Despite the conversation about Ranger she was still on a high from getting Joe. She was feeling so good that she didn't expect anything to go wrong at Joyce's house. Then the fire started to go crazy, spreading across the entire front porch. "Shit, run," Steph said grabbing Connie's arm. The three of them sprinted toward the van.
Suddenly Lester was in front of her grabbing her by the wrists to slow her forward progress. "Hey Beautiful," he called out opening the driver's door of the van. "I'm going to drive." Val looked worried.
"Move. We torched Joyce's house," Steph yelled at her sister.
"You three get in with Hal, just in case anyone saw you," Lester told them.
Stephanie nodded and hopped into the SUV with Connie and Lula in the backseat. Before she knew it they were speeding away toward Haywood. "So Ranger knows that I burned a house down?" she asked Hal.
He laughed. "He saw everything. We've been following you all night."
"Shit," Connie whispered.
"That's an invasion of privacy," Stephanie shrieked as her phone started playing the Batman theme song. "Yo."
"Babe. Bring your friends straight to the seventh floor. Ella has costumes for you, get them on quickly and come back down to five so we get you an alibi," he told her calmly.
"An alibi? The fire was an accident."
"Destruction of property, arson, vandalism, assault, illegal use of a weapon on police officers, sexual assault since you took the bastard's pants down, breaking and entering, need I go on?" he asked.
"Shit," she muttered.
"It was impressive." She laughed at that, feeling somewhat better. "I'm proud of you, Babe. Now get back here and follow instructions, alright?"
"Alright. Thanks Ranger," she said with a smile on her face as he hung up.
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Hal unloaded the women at the elevator before parking his SUV. Stephanie ushered her friends inside and hit the button on her key fob, sending them directly to the seventh floor apartment. She used her key to unlock the door and walked inside, dropping her purse on the little table while she kicked off her shoes.
"Wow. What is this place?" Connie asked looking around. She was clearly impressed by the elegant, masculine penthouse.
"Ranger's apartment," Steph said moving around like she belonged there while turning on the lights.
"The Batcave?" Lula said looking around excitedly.
"This is really fuckin' classy," Connie smiled, running her hand across the leather chair in front of her.
Steph ignored them as she walked through the bedroom to the dressing room. She found the costumes hanging in her section of the closet, next to her few remaining work outfits she'd kept there. Steph turned around to find they had followed her. Lula's mouth was hanging open as she took in Ranger's huge closet and dressing area. Her eyes finally landed on the small section of Steph's clothes and shoes. "How long you been keepin' shit in Batman's closet?"
Stephanie shrugged. "Um, he cleared the section for me the first time I stayed here, when I was hiding from The Slayers."
Connie blinked at her. "You were living with Ranger? That was years ago."
"That's why you smelt like him. It wasn't the fuckin' truck," Lula grumbled putting her hands on her hips angrily. "You was holding out on us."
"Let's do this later. We need to move, Ranger's orders," Steph said changing the subject. "Get into the costumes." She handed the marked bags to the other women and showed Connie to the bathroom.
Connie came out minutes later wearing a very skimpy, naughty nurse costume that barely covered her assets, but matched her red FMP's perfectly. "Uh, Steph, Ranger has women's product in there?" Connie said wearily. She didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings if the man had some bimbo using his shower regularly, but she didn't want to send her in to find it blind either.
"It's mine," Steph said shrugging again. She didn't need to check. Every time she'd stayed there her things were in a basket under the counter. If Ella knew she was coming tonight she would have put them out for her.
"We're talkin' bout this shit later. It ain't right to not tell us you have a whole secret life with Batman," Lula complained as she took her stuff into the bathroom. "Damn, this is a nice bathroom, though. Now that is a shower!"
"And he is GOOD in that shower," Steph yelled back. She heard the loud thunk as Lula dropped something.
"Shiiitt!" she grumbled. "We're gonna need those details too."
Stephanie flopped back onto the bed waiting for Lula to come out. Connie was still wondering around the room like she wanted to open every drawer, but she behaved herself. Lula stepped out of the bathroom and put her hands on her hips. "What the hell is this shit?" she grumbled.
Stephanie laughed hysterically. Lula was wearing black fishnet tights and a shiny black, strapless teddy. When she twirled around Steph could see the fluffy white bunny tail attached above the top of the thong. She waved the bunny ear headband in front of her face. "Batman buying costumes at the Pleasure Treasures this year?" she bitched.
"I think it looks good on you. You'd make a great playmate," Steph told her gently. "And it matches your boots."
"Hunh, I make this shit look good. Now how bad is your costume?" she asked.
Stephanie opened the bag and pulled out the hanger. Attached to the hanger was a bag with a cute pair of black Mary Jane shoes, white knee high socks, and a gold cross necklace. "Oh, Kate Spade shoes, I love these," Stephanie smirked at Lula.
"Keep on lookin'," Lula nodded at the hanger.
Steph lifted a tiny, blue and green plaid skirt off the hanger along with a nearly see through white shirt, if you could call it that. "Oh, shit, no way," Steph sputtered.
"Go get it on, now. You don't want to get arrested do you," Connie said ending her protest.
"I hope the guys are dressed just as naked," she grumbled as she took her stuff into the bathroom. The skirt had a built in, snap-crotch, matching thong panty and was only long enough to cover the essential bits, as long as she didn't bend. The shirt was made to look like a white dress blouse, except it stopped just below her breasts. It had no buttons so was only held together by the tie if she knotted the material between her boobs. On top of that it was see through enough that you could see the outline of her nipples. She couldn't even wear a bra with it. She couldn't wear this in public. Hell, she didn't know if she could wear it in private. She added the necklace, braided her hair and tied it off with a band that was in her supply basket, then finished it off with the socks and shoes. She looked at the naughty school girl costume and groaned to herself. "Ranger is so dead."
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Ranger, Tank, and Bobby donned their costumes. Bobby was wearing a pair of his scrubs, Ranger was dressed in black pants, black shoes, and a black button down dress shirt with a priest collar, and Tank was looking good in his black lounge pants, slippers, and red silk smoking jacket. They took the stairs up to five to wait for the women to come down.
The guys were still hanging around the control room or the break room waiting to congratulate Steph on a job well done. They laughed at the costumes Ella had grabbed for the guys. Tank found himself renamed Hef and the idea of Priest Ranger really got them. He figured the girls had matching costumes and the idea of Steph as a nun was just as funny. That'd probably bring just as many laughs from the guys.
Five minutes later the elevator stopped on five and Lula charged out in her Playboy bunny costume. "Hot damn," Tank muttered with a smile. "Lula, baby, you look fine."
"Don't you try comin' onto me," she grumbled at him. "I'm still mad at you and them damn cats."
He grinned and followed her down the hall. He'd probably be forgive before the night was out. Connie was standing against the side of the elevator telling Steph she had to come out even if it was just to kill Ranger. She grinned over at Ranger and Bobby, "She's not too happy with that outfit."
Connie, herself, looked damn fine in her little naughty nurse costume. Bobby winked at Ranger and stepped toward the elevator. "I'm your date tonight Nurse Connie," he said holding out his hand.
"Well, hot damn," she grinned back. "You make a good looking doctor."
"I'm a medic," he answered her as they strolled off leaving Ranger behind.
He stepped into the elevator and looked at his Babe. Her hair was braided and she was wearing white socks and black shoes, but that was all of the costume he could see. She hid the rest under one of his oversized black hoodies, which she had zipped up to her neck. She looked him up and down and rolled her eyes. "That's not fair," she grumbled.
"What?"
"I was hoping you'd be as naked as me," she sighed.
"Can I see?" he asked with a wolf grin on his lips.
"No."
"Why not? How bad can it be? Is it a 'naughty' nun dress?"
"Nun?" she asked rolling her eyes. She stormed out of the elevator toward the break room. "You know damn well I'm not wearing a nun costume," she yelled at him as she unzipped the hoodie and tossed it at him.
She spun in a circle before putting her hands on her hips to glare at him again. His eyes moved up her long legs, staring at the bare skin that showed between her knees and the bottom curve of her ass cheeks. He licked his lips, but his mouth had gone dry as he moved up to the little pleated skirt, the bare skin of her midriff, and the dark nipples showing through the flimsy material of the shirt. "Hello! Father Carlos, my eyes are up here," she said waving her hands at him.
His eyes moved to her face and he was altogether lost. She was so damn beautiful, especially when she was angry. The little flicker of light in her gorgeous blue eyes glittered like stars when she was mad. "That is not a nun costume," he said finally finding his voice.
"It's fucking kink wear is what it is. I can't go out in this," she complained.
"No, you can't go out in that," he agreed.
"Your men are staring at my tits and ass."
Ranger looked at the men who quickly found something else to look at. "Shit, put that back on," he said handing her the hoodie.
He took her down to the second floor, where he'd had a private party set up in one of the conference rooms. There were tasteful Halloween decorations around the room, a romantic, candle lit table set for six, plus soft, eerie sounding music playing in the background. "What's this?" Steph asked walking in the room.
"I figured a good meal would sober you up the rest of the way," he smiled at her. "Plus, with all the shit you were throwing tonight I figured you worked up an appetite."
She laughed then and threw herself against him, hugging him tight. "What happened to Mary Lou and Val? Are they alright?"
"Lester returned them to their husbands, disposed of all your evidence and had Val's van detailed before parking it back in her garage."
"Thank you, Ranger," she whispered into his neck. "You always know the right thing to do."
"That's not true," he whispered back. "I've fucked up a few things pretty badly. I should have asked you out tonight like a normal guy does."
She laughed at that. "We don't do normal and I'm good with that."
"Good, let's eat," he said tugging her braid.
The other couples sat down at the table and dished out the food Ella had prepared. Steph moaned in delight at the amazing tastes. Ranger cleared his throat as he shifted in his chair, God, how he loved listening to her little moans. "We set up an alibi for all of us. We were at a party in Newark at my sister Celia's house. She'll confirm it if necessary. We got back and had this private party here for just the six of us before splitting off for the night." Ranger looked at Stephanie for a moment, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. He handed her a photo of a white house. "My sister's house, party was in the backyard so you don't need details about the inside of the home. I drove so you don't know exactly how to get there, but it was in the same area we had gone to in Newark during the Scrog thing." She nodded while she looked it over before passing it to Connie.
The other women asked a few questions, but it was a pretty straightforward alibi and they should all be able to stick to it easily enough. Once the dishes were cleaned up Ranger asked Steph if she wanted to dance. He flipped to a different playlist and pulled her into his arms. His hands moved under the hoodie, lightly trailing over her bare skin. She shivered at his touch. The more they danced, the closer their bodies moved until her face was in his neck. She breathed deeply, inhaling his scent as she let her tongue taste him. He made a little noise in his throat as she kissed his neck again. "Babe?" he whispered to her.
"Hmm?"
"Stay with me tonight?"
She trailed her lips across his jaw to his mouth, pulling his bottom lip into her mouth with a little nip before answering. "As long as it's not the only night."
He smiled and met her lips again with his own kiss. She melted against him as his tongue moved against hers, bringing her close to moaning. He finally broke the kiss and laughed. "I learned a long time ago one night with you was never enough."
"Mmm, what else have you learned?" she whimpered as his thumbs moved over her nipples.
"I think we should discuss that upstairs." He flashed her his wolf grin and chuckled at her dreamy look, but his phone rang interrupting his plans. "Yo," he answered.
"Boss, we have police officers here to see Steph," Binkie said with a laugh. "Morelli looks a little crazy."
"Have them brought into the party." He ended the call and smiled at Steph. "Show time," he announced loudly. He pulled the zipper on Steph's sweatshirt and slipped it off her shoulders before tossing it onto one of the chairs. "Ready for this?"
She looked down at herself and frowned. "If you help me cover my boobs." He smiled and pulled her back against his chest, picking up the dance where they'd left off.
Steph smiled to herself. Bobby and Connie were dancing too, Tank and Lula were sitting at the table talking, exchanging smiles and laughs, and she was in Ranger's arms where everything was safe and perfect. She'd like nothing better than to stay there forever. She sighed as she thought about that, since forever wasn't an option she'd gladly take tonight and every other night he offered. Being able to love him a little was better than not at all.
Ranger smiled at her and lowered his lips to hers, kissing her softly until she was melting against him once again. She didn't know how he could do that to her every time they kissed, but he never failed. She wasn't sure how long they had stood there devouring one another, but the next thing she noticed was Vince holding the door open to a group of familiar police officers.
"Cupcake," Joe said loudly pulling her out of her Ranger-induced-kiss-stupor.
"Oh, hey Joe. What are you doing here? I thought you had a date?" she asked as Ranger tucked her against his side, letting his fingers slip into the waistband of her little skirt.
"I'm here on police business," he said glaring at Ranger. "Someone did a lot of damage tonight. My grandma's house was toilet papered, my house was hit with eggs and dog crap, Joyce's house was set on fire by flaming dog crap, and Carl and Big Dog were assaulted and plastic wrapped to utility poles by the station."
"Holy crap," Steph muttered. "That's crazy."
"Sure is. So where were you tonight?"
"We were at a Halloween party," she said motioning to her group of friends.
"Here?" Carl asked irritated.
"No. We just got back here a little while ago."
"Is there reason to believe Stephanie was involved with any of these crimes?" Ranger finally asked.
"She had a bone to pick with all the victims," Eddie said with a shrug.
"Any evidence?" Ranger continued.
"We're still investigating," Morelli answered. "So, where was the party?"
"In Newark at Ranger's sister's house. It was mostly a family thing. Then we headed back here for dinner and dancing," Stephanie explained without a hint that she made the whole thing up.
"A family party in that outfit?" Morelli asked staring directly as her nipples. Ranger made a little growl sound as he turned her body so her left breast pressed against his chest while he moved his hand to cup her right breast, covering her the best he could from Morelli's feasting eyes.
"Well, I lost my bra on the way home." Ranger winked at her and kissed her forehead.
Lula started laughing. "They was getting down right freaky in the back of that truck. Tankie and me had to turn the music up so we didn't have to hear that shit."
"Newark is a long fuckin' drive," Tank said shaking his head like he was pained.
Joe's face was turning dark red the more he listened to their story. "It didn't take you long to jump back into his bed, Steph."
"Who says she's ever been out of it?" Ranger asked getting the reaction he was after. Joe stepped up to take a swing and had to be restrained by Carl and Big Dog.
"Come on Morelli. Just let it go. You moved on, now you have to let her," Carl told him. "You can't pin this shit on her just because you're pissed she's with Manoso."
"We've got no evidence," Eddie agreed. "Let's go Morelli."
Joe shrugged out of their grip and stomped over to the door. "He's turning you into a criminal, just like him. I hope you have a good life giving each other alibis and shit," he growled at her and Ranger before leaving.
"Shit, he's just pissed that his date dumped him and he lost you for nothing." Eddie laughed. "Then he finds you in Ranger's arms looking like a wet dream on top of it…it was perfect, Steph," Eddie grinned. He leaned closer and kissed her cheek. "Tonight was impressive. Tell Mary Lou I'm proud of her too."
"Good night, Eddie," Steph smiled at her old friend. Big Dog and Carl nodded to her. "Bye guys."
"Night Steph," Big Dog said before walking out.
"We're done with the bets," Carl said tipping his hat to her before turning to walk out.
Once the policemen were back in their cars Stephanie started laughing. "That was awesome. You're awesome," she giggled at Ranger. "God, I love you."
His smile spread into a full thousand watt grin. "I thought you'd never say it."
"What?" She groaned as she realized what she'd let slip.
"I love you too, Babe."
"What?" She knew her eyebrows must have shot straight up to her hairline. What was he saying?
He laughed at her as he lifted her in his arms, cradling her against his chest. "I love you, Stephanie."
She felt her mouth fall open as she stared at him. "What?"
"I love you completely, and the way I see it I'm the only man strong enough to handle a relationship with you," he told her as he kissed her nose.
She laughed then as the happiness bubbled out of her. "Lucky for you that I love you completely and am probably the only woman crazy enough to handle a relationship with you."
He couldn't keep his smile from growing. "I'm going to take you upstairs now. It's time to start our someday."
"Holy shit," she muttered as she blinked at him. "You are MY Ranger."
"Always have been, Babe." He fobbed the elevator up to the seventh floor as he brought his lips to hers. He controlled his excitement as he poured all his love into that kiss, but inside he was doing his happy dance again. His Babe was finally where she was meant to be, in his arms, permanently.