I wasn't going to do it.
Yet there was not even a shred of hesitation. There was a vibration in his throat and words were formed, but his mind would speak differently and so would his innermost senses, his heart, his being. His words betrayed him, but they did not win. There was an aching, and he wanted to choose not to act on it because it was unfamiliar and unwelcome, it was a poison intruding on his ability to function, and ultimately it eliminated his choices. He was laid bare like virgin snow below the still winds and it could only be described as pain.
But it moved his feet in ways unimaginable to himself. The rest of his body would cooperate in a sudden reflex and suddenly the decision had been made for him.
"I want to know... so many things", Touya exhaled into the sky, his breath making tiny clouds that soon dissolved. "Where are you? How are you feeling? What are you doing? What are you thinking? I want to know everything. Even the things you probably wouldn't know."
The latter was added with a careful chuckle. Mawile glanced up at her trainer with a concerned expression, at the same time listening with quiet interest. Touya rubbed his legs for warmth and stood up, leaning onto the rocky wall for support as the stiffness in his body made itself apparent. He shook the snow off of his ankles and brushed at his knees. Mawile got up with a quick hop, apparently restless.
"Like, for example", he said turning his eyes to Mawile with a mischievous smile. "Why is the sky blue, and how many stars are in the universe?"
Mawile puffed at the notion that he'd ask such a thing, but the question wasn't directed to her. Touya's gaze wandered back to the sky.
"I know you wouldn't know the answers to them. But I'd just want to hear how you'd reply. What your thoughts on it would be. I'd listen. This time I'd listen."
His smile faded. His knuckles suddenly turned whiter as he tensed up.
"Let's keep going, then, Nyssa!" he said with forced enthusiasm.
The nicknamed Mawile trotted after him as best she could, as Touya's pace quickened through the snow, and his heartbeats kept it. At times he'd pick her up and keep walking because he didn't want to stop. He might just miss him.
A youth neared the entrance to a cave, the place cradled in an indescribable warmth for whatever reason. It protected him from the chill of snowflakes on his skin, so he decided this would be the ideal place for a breather. Only, it was quiet. It was as if it shut every other sound out and isolated the area. As the youth watched the surrounding view he saw the naked branches and faraway forests as if watching a muted nature program.
With a sigh, N removed his black and white cap and ran a hand through thick, green hair. As he leaned back onto the wall, the warmth was unmistakable - someone had just been here. A tingling crept its way up across his fingers and spread into the rest of his body and he shivered as he exhaled. He kept finding these places, these remarkable spots where his senses would simply explode with preposterous thoughts. He had no way of knowing who had previously been sitting in this spot. Yet his mind kept insisting.
Touya.
Touya.
"Why do you keep running from me?" he whispered so quietly, almost afraid breaking the silence would result in something terrible.
It was cold. Lonely. Desolate. Yet beautiful. N could see a ray of light, an arm of the sun stretching its way to the trees below. And a slight smile graced his face. It felt as if he had received a premonition.
"Are you as afraid as I am of this chase, and the impending meeting? As much as I'm able to speak to and understand the emotions of Pokémon, I am at a loss as to how to connect my thoughts when it's you. I simply cannot tell. Am I a burden to you? Do I give up?"
He closed his eyes, his eyelashes tickling at his skin for a brief moment.
"But it's not up to me. I need you. I must find you simply because I don't know why it is that I do."
A chuckle escaped him.
"Perhaps I just missed you this time."