AN:
I have no idea what this is. I wanted to try something different and this came to mind. My brain is a little ridiculous sometimes.
Anyway, it starts with Layla, if you're confused, and then Lash is right after. Layla, Lash, Layla, Lash—that's the order. It gets confusing, but if you read the sentences and understand the character, then it should be easy. When I place dots, it means that there's a large silence in that person's part. It also also helps to know that something might be happening when the dots appear, like gazing or staring or something alike that. However, enjoy!
[Also, I might continue this. It's so fun...plus there's so many ideas to carry on through these "videos."]
Youtube
The Layla & Lash Channel
'Relationship 101'
On.
Off.
On.
Click.
"Turn the camera on."
"That's what I'm doing."
"No, you're turning it off. See? Red is for off, blue is for on. It's red."
"What?"
"It's red, Lash."
"You're red."
"That doesn't even make sense."
"Yes, it does. You're just looking into it too much. It's supposed to be a metaphor."
"Right. For what?"
"For what? What?"
"The metaphor!"
"Oh, oh...you seriously thought it was a metaphor?"
"No, but—"
"Anyway, it's on. So...? How do we start?"
"We start with the questions, Lash. I told you that before you turned it on. In fact, I printed the pages out to make it easier—"
"..."
"Did you just burp?"
"Yes, gosh, yes, I did. Can we get on to the video?"
"Okay, okay. Whatever."
"Anyway, welcome all, it's me, Lash—"
"Welcome all? What is this the Renaissance Era?"
"I don't know. God, eh—stop cutting off my sentences, Layla! I'm going to burp again if you keep doing it!"
"Alright, alright, geez. ..Anyway, hi, viewers and to all that are watching, I'm Layla."
"Layla."
"And this is our first youtube video."
"Youtube video."
"Where we will be answering some 'Him or Her' questions to introduce ourselves."
"Introduce ourselves."
"Stop."
"Stop...what?"
"Lash, you're repeating everything I say."
"Only because I want to remember it, duh."
"Awh. Nice save."
"Ookay, question number one: how would you describe yourself?"
"Uh, loyal, generous, kind, compassionate, caring."
"Wonderful. And super pretty."
"Lash, I'm supposed to be doing it."
"Yeah, I know. It was for me."
"God, you're a dork."
"A dork that you love."
"Oh, shut up."
"—Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up..."
"This is not the time to be singing Black Eyed Peas, Lash."
"Is it?"
"..."
"..."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up—"
"Anyway, onto question number two: what is something you did as a teen that your parents never learned about?"
"Never?"
"Never."
"Oh god, that's impossible. I mean, I'm kind of already an ex-con so...?"
"Oh...yeah, I forgot."
"Oh no, wait! I've robbed a convenience store before."
"What!?"
"Nah, I'm kidding. I'm pretty tame."
"Lash, you a—"
"Censors! Censors! Censors! Adult themes!"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm censoring for all the kids watching."
"Censoring? What?"
"Yeah, you were going to say the word."
"The word?"
"Yeah, the word..."
"..."
"...Butt...? The swear version? The explicit one in every song on the radio?"
"What—oh! No, I was going to say—"
"Censors! Censors! Adult themes!"
"Stop!"
"Then stop swearing."
"I'm not, I said—"
"Censors! Censors! Adult themes!"
"Lash! Stop!"
"Alright, alright... So, what is something you did as a teen that your parents didn't find out about?"
"Well, I went to a few PETA protests without their knowledge."
"Oh. Wow. I'm stunned."
"Oh, stop it. You goon."
"Seriously though? That's it?"
"...and I did weed."
"WHAT?!"
"Onto the next question—"
"Oh no, no, I need to know about this. Tell me all about this."
"No, come on, we've already got like two minutes running. I'll tell you after."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Okay, who was the first person you kissed? What were the circumstances?"
"Will. I went out with him for, what, half a year?"
"Yeah. Half a year...CAUSE I TOTALLY STOLE HIS GIRL, WHAT!"
"Lash."
"What?"
"Your dork is showing."
"Ha ha."
"Anyway, you?"
"Speed."
"...what?"
"Speed. I kissed Speed."
"What? Huh? It's not processing."
"I kissed Speed."
"What."
"I KISSED SPEED! SPEED! I put my lips on his lips and swirled it into a spit milkshake! I kissed him!"
"Ew, why!?"
"'Cause he was being homophobic and I totally showed him off. It was the best kiss of his life. He still hasn't kissed anyone like that 'till this day."
"..."
"..Are we done?"
"Wait, but why a kiss—"
"OH MY GOD, LAYLA!"
"Alright, question four...is it?"
"Yeah. Four."
"What's the craziest dream you've ever had?"
"Wet ones."
"Ew."
"Ew?"
"Yeah. Ew."
"Didn't we like make out on the couch yesterday?"
"Yeah, but—"
"Same thing."
"It's not—"
"Same thing."
"Fine, whatever, um...I think mine was being eaten by a cow?"
"Is that why you're a vegetarian?"
"No."
"Oh my god."
"No."
"It so is."
"No!"
"You're a vegetarian, because you got eaten by a cow."
"No! Lash, stop!"
"..Okay, alright, onto the next one... What is your first childhood memory?"
"Uh, the beach?"
"Poop?"
"Wha—Lash!"
"It's true. I distinctly remember my training toilet and everything. And it hurt so bad."
"Ew, oh my god, Lash!"
"Okay, okay. That was gross. Sorry."
"Yeah, okay."
"Anyway, I'm kidding. It was probably my tenth birthday or something, one of those."
"One of those."
"Yeap."
"Okay...next question: what was the happiest moment of your life?"
"Getting married, man! I love it!"
"Awh, Lash. Quit it. You already have me."
"I know. It wasn't for you. The babes love it."
"Babes? You just said you're married, how's that gonna work?"
"Well...polygon."
"Polygon?"
"Yeah, ever heard of a love triangle? Well, how about a love polygon—"
"Okay, just shut up. You're killing me. Literally."
"Alright then, what about you?"
"Uh...getting Louis."
"Louis? Seriously?"
"Yeah, he's the cutest dog ever—come—Louis! Louis!"
"Seriously? Louis?"
"Yeah, Louis."
"Whatever."
"How about that? It's a love triangle, between Louis, you, and me."
"No, that's not how it works."
"Love triangles aren't supposed to work. They just happen, right, Louis?"
"This is bestiality."
"I don't care. I love Louis, right, Louis? I love you, Louis. You cutie—"
"Oh my god."
"Okay...next question: what was your most embarrassing moment?"
"High school. 'Nuff said."
"Uh...Oh! Oh! I remember! I left my clothes at like the resort building and I showered at the pool bathroom, remember?"
"Oh, yeah!"
"And I had to strut around in a towel. That was pretty embarrassing."
"Yeah, you got hollered at."
"Yeah, ew. Misogynistic jerks."
"...I was one of them though."
"Exactly. Misogynistic jerk."
"Ouch."
"I'm kidding. I love you."
"That's why you put a ring on it, no?"
"Ring on it? You're not an object."
"I'm your object."
"..."
"..."
"That's pretty disgusting."
"Yeah, it was supposed to sound sexy."
"It didn't."
"Yeah, okay...Anyway, question six?"
"Who has been the most influential person in your life?"
"Hilary Clinton."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, girl power."
"I hate her."
"Oh...then me too."
"What? But you just—"
"I was lying. She's wei—really weird."
"Why did I marry you?"
"Because I'm a babe and I cook like Gordon Ramsay."
"That's true."
"Yeah."
"Then who is a big influence..to you?"
"My mom, I guess? I always followed her after."
"Awh."
"Yeah...you?"
"Michelle Obama."
"Aw, come on, no, you can't steal the politics thing."
"What? Stealing?"
"Yes, you know what I'm talking about."
"No, I don't."
"Yeah, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Yeah—you know what? Whatever. You're a liar and a stealer, so let's get onto the next question."
"Okay."
"Did you steal the politics thing?"
"Lash!"
"Come on, you so did."
"No, I didn't!"
"Yeah, okay—"
"Question seven: do you have any birthmarks?—oh I know this one! Uh, uh, on your left hip? And..."
"Yes?"
"Your abdomen...well, the mid section. And your...armpit?"
"Yeah! You got them all right! That's my girl."
"Yeah."
"Alright, I'll try. Your back..your arm, and your...butt."
"Oh, wow. You got it."
"Pst. It was a clear pass, Layla. I see you naked all the time."
"What?!"
"Uh, we're married?"
"Yeah, but, all the time?"
"Well, yeah, Layla. Remember the shower this afternoon?"
"Oh, oh yeah. Yeah, my bad."
"Yeah."
"I just forget that I willingly get naked in front of you."
"Don't worry. It happens to all of the polygon members."
"Lash!"
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding."
"Okay, next question: do you fall for a person fast?"
"Yep. Extremely."
"Awh."
"I mean, it took me time to like her. She was obnoxious and all hero-y and stuff. I hated it."
"Yeah, and you were disgusting."
"Yeah, but then something clicked in my senior year. ...You were the same, but different—attractive, obnoxious, and hero—but you were nice. You were the only one who talked to me, other than Speed and all those annoying senior kids."
"Extremely bratty."
"And I guess...I saw that you were different. And I fell pretty fast."
"Awh. I'm melting. See? Louis, that's why I'm in love with Lash. He's not completely disgusting."
"Yeah. Ouch."
"I'm kidding. I fell for you too, remember? I mean, I don't fall fast and I never will, but it was different with you. You were so...easy sometimes. I could just fall and I knew you wouldn't make a big deal if I did. We were already close by the hip in the middle of the year anyway."
"THEN I STOLE WILL' S GIRL!—"
"Okay."
"Next question: have you ever talked marriage with another person?"
"Yes."
"Who?"
"Uh, Will, my mom, and uh, you."
"'Dawh, "your mom.""
"Lash."
"What? It's adorable."
"You're adorable, you dork."
"Really?"
"Mhm."
"Do I get a kiss for it?"
"Uh...okay. Muah."
""How about another one?"
"Alright, only because I love you. Muah."
"And another one?"
"Last one, Lash. Muah."
"Mmm. See how much we love each other?"
"Yep."
"I love you, babe."
"I love you too."
"Okay, okay, we can't make out on screen. There's kids watching this."
"You're such a goof."
"Your goof."
"Yes, my goof."
"Okay, okay."
"How about you?"
"Me?"
"Yeah, wedding and marriage and stuff?"
"Oh...my dad."
"Awh, your dad?"
"Yeah, my dad. He was, he used to bring it up a lot...before he passed away."
"Awh."
"Yeah, but...I know he would have been happy with my choice."
"Lash! You're making me cry."
"I know. It's how I get all the polygon ladies."
"Of course."
"Anyway...last question, before we close up: how would you like to be remembered?"
"As someone who always fought for change."
"—Louis, Louis, stop kissing my neck! I know I'm sexy."
"Okay...how about you?"
"Uh, as a sexy polygon leader."
"Okay. This is done. We're done filming."
"What?"
"Yeah."
"No, don't turn off the camera—"
"Bye, guys!"
"Layla, don't be—"
Off.
Click.
AN:
I hope you guys enjoyed this and let me know if you'd like me to continue, yeah? It's so much fun doing this.