A/N: UPDATE!!! DIFFERENT CHAPTER BREAKS!!! 04/05/2004
Title: Finding One's Life
Rating: PG13 ((? for now at least *wink*))
Pairing: Akira/Hikaru
Warnings: um... possible, growing angst? UST (heh, kinda). Hokuto Cup and after (Chapter 189 was the last one I read...)
Enjoy!
Chapter 1
Akira let the water stream down over him. Usually he would take his showers at night, but when he woke up, he just felt he had to. Something about that dream... it started off like a normal dream, and why it progressed to there, he didn't know.
********** Pa-chii ^How did I get myself this far behind?^ Akira wondered to himself as he stared at the goban. He searched his mind for anything to get out of it...
"I..." he started, but then... why did the board look bigger? He continued to stare at it as it just got bigger and bigger. Then suddenly, all at once, he was no bigger than a go stone.
He stood up and looked around, confused for a moment before realizing that there looked to be doors on the stones. He walked up to one and opened it.
He was now in a place that seemed to be a mix of the go institute for the insei, and his own house. He could hear a man's voice coming from the playing room. He walked over there and searched around the room for the speaker. All he could see were insei paired up at the gobans.
He continued to scan the room until he saw one insei looking behind him. He turned around and saw his dad. His dad was saying something, but he just couldn't make it out. He leaned his back against the wall, trying to make out what it was his father was trying to tell him.
He felt something snake around his waist. He looked down, surprised to see that they were arms. He then realized that the wall he was leaning on seemed a little too soft to be a wall, and there was definitely a breathing- type movement.
He turned around in the arms to see who it was, but he didn't get the chance to. The person's lips were on his own. And while he still didn't know who it was, the kiss was great and he could feel himself melting into it, returning the kiss. Together they deepened the kiss and Akira wrapped his arms around the person.
One of the person's hands stayed on Akira's back, while the other was brought to unbutton his shirt slowly. When the shirt was unbuttoned, the person ran both hands over his chest, and let fingers tease his nipples.
Akira pressed his whole body against the mysterious person. The person ended the kiss and whispered out Akira's name, and started kissing and licking his neck before the identity could be seen. Akira arched his neck and whispered out. "Hikaru..." **********
Akira didn't understand it. He thought that taking the shower would give him more time to think about it. ^There's nothing to think about. You don't like him. You can't like him. You don't like him... it's just hormones in overdrive or something. Come on, Akira, you've controlled your emotions, you can control this.^
He nodded to himself. "I'll have to control it." He whispered, turning the water off and stepping out to dry himself and to stop his hair from dripping. He put on his robe and walked back to his room, running a comb through his hair and getting dressed.
As he walked towards the kitchen, he wondered what he wanted for breakfast, but stopped when he saw Hikaru eating some ramen.
"Where's Yashiro?" Akira asked, noticing the other boy's absence.
Hikaru looked up from his ramen, some noodles still hanging down from his mouth. He finished hi mouthful, astounded at how Akira looked. So relaxed. He had never really seen his long-time crush in the morning before.
Hikaru looked over the object of his affections. The still wet hair clinging to his face and neck, bluish-grey silk shirt that complimented his eyes nicely. A few buttons at the top of his shirt were undone, exposing some flesh that was tempting him to touch. He forced himself to continue his look over to Akira's usual cream colored slacks that always complimented the length of his legs.
He let his eyes trail down the completely before trailing his eyes back up, looking at everything a second time, admiringly. His gaze paused on Akira's lips, wondering, once again, what it would be like to kiss him, what he tasted like, how Akira's lips would feel against his skin. He stopped himself from licking his lips, and continued to move his eyes across the beautiful face to look into his eyes.
Akira stared at Hikaru, watching him as he looked over him. Akira's body seemed to tingle as he watched the path Hikaru's eyes took. ^Why is he doing this?^ Akira blushed ever so slightly when Hikaru's eyes lingered on his lips, remembering the events in his dream. ^Oh... please look away, Hikaru. I don't want to remember the dream... please...^ Akira saw that Hikaru's eyes moved again then. As if he had heard his silent pleas. Then Hikaru's gaze met his own. Green bore into hazel. ((A/N: I say hazel because that seems to be the kind of eyes Akira has, with the difference in color for different parts of the anime)) Something warm seemed to pass between them.
But Akira wouldn't have that, and looked away, breaking the invisible thread that seemed to connect them in that one gaze.
Hikaru was a little upset, but didn't really expect much else anyway. He decided to just answer Akira's question now. "He wanted to pick up a few things he forgot from his friend."
"Oh." He said, grabbing something to eat. "Do you know when he'll be back?"
"Not really. He said he wanted to hang out with his friend for about 3 hours, though, and play twice as hard when he gets back to make up for it. I told him not to worry about it." Hikaru replied, getting close to finishing his ramen.
"And how about you? Do you plan on playing this morning?"
"Normally I would say yes..." Hikaru thought to himself: ^I love playing Akira. It seems each time we play, I learn more and more about his technique. If I want to beat him, I just have to learn it faster than he's learning mine... but yet I want to spend time with him other than when we're playing...^ "But maybe we should relax too."
"But the competition is less than-" Akira started.
"I know, but if we keep worrying about it all the time, we'll play badly."
Akira paused, then nodded. "You're right. But what will we do?"
"Well, do you always practice or study kifus before a match?" Hikaru started.
"Not always..."
"Well, what else do you do then?"
Hikaru stood up and grabbed Akira's wrist, dragging him out of the house. "Where are you taking me?" Akira asked, trying to pull out of the grasp, but Hikaru's hold wouldn't let him.
"You'll see." Hikaru answered, smiling slightly at the contact. "I go there a lot when I'm not doing anything go related."
"Oh." Akira paused. "You don't have to hold my wrist anymore, I'll come." He said, but Hikaru seemed not to have heard it, and just continued walking.
Akira could feel the warmth from the hand on his wrist, which seemed to be slowly spreading through him. ^I like this. But I can't. I'm not supposed to feel this way. I can't... it's just my body craving another's touch. I won't give into it.^ Akira ignored the warmth feeling and just let Hikaru take him to wherever they were going.
"Here we are." Hikaru said, stopping in an alley. There were only two signs on the wall on either side of the door. Both read "The Cat's Eye"
"Shindo, aren't clubs for-"
"I know, but this one's age limit is 15." Hikaru looked at Akira. "I'll let go of your wrist if you promise you'll stay for a while."
"I promise" Akira said.
Hikaru let go of his wrist, already missing the contact, but hoping there would be another time. Especially after today. He opened the door and let them enter.
Akira looked around. He figured it would be busier at night, as right now there were just about four couples dancing at one part where the music was coming from, two groups of three talking in booths along the walls, and two people at the bar.
"Shindo." A voice sounded from behind the boys. They turned around as the man continued to speak. "What happened with the-- oh." The man stopped when he noticed Akira. "I'm Kenji. ((A/N: blame Ebby))"
"Touya Akira."
"Is this your first time here?" Seeing the boy nod, he continued. "Well then welcome. Hope you enjoy it here."
"Hey, go around, make some friends. I have to talk to Kenji for a bit." Hikaru said.
"Okay." Akira answered and watched them leave into a booth before looking around again. He didn't really know what to do here.
A girl, with long, straight, blond hair, tied back in a pony tail, walked up to Akira. She looked to be about only fifteen. "Hello. You're new here, right? You don't know what to do? Do you know what specialty this place has?" She asked with an accent.
"This place has a specialty?"
"Hai. It gives people a chance to ask for and give advice to others, without worrying about creeps. Each person goes through a little mini test type thing, unless they were brought by someone who already came here. Like you don't have to take the test. I myself came from the US, which would explain my accent. Basically this is an advice and hang out club."
"How did Shindo come here?"
"Kenji found him in the park and they talked. Kenji told him about this place and where it was at."
"Why did he come here?"
"We keep things like that secrets. Talk to him if you want to know."
Akira looked for Hikaru, and saw him dancing with Kenji. He was surprised. ^What? Is Hikaru gay?^ He looked on, watching them dance, part of him wanting to be the one Hikaru was dancing with. A part of him he pushed away and ignored.
"Is he jealous?" Hikaru whispered to Kenji.
Kenji glanced at Akira. "He's staring at you."
"Do you think it's working?"
"I don't know. Maybe you should talk to him tonight."
"You think so?"
"Yeah. I won't guarantee good will come out of it. I'd hope for it, but I won't guarantee it. Still, you need to know."
Hikaru nodded his agreement and leaned closer to (name), thinking of what he would say and how he would start the conversation, if he needed to.
Akira saw them move closer and looked away, back to the girl.
"Do you want to sit down? The booths are nice." The girl stated.
Akira nodded. "Okay." They went to a booth and sat down. "I don't think I've gotten your name yet."
"Oh. I'm sorry, it's Robin."
"Touya Akira."
"Okay." Robin stopped what she was about to say next when she saw Akira looking over at Hikaru and Kenji. "Are you upset?"
Akira looked back to Robin, surprised by her question. "Nani?"
"Are you upset?" The girl was talking quietly now. "That Hikaru is dancing with him instead of you."
Akira was even more surprised and his first thoughts were ^Is it obvious? If it isn't, who *is* this girl?^ "N-no..."
"Hm... you're denying it. Something happened..."
Akira was suddenly reminded of the dream. "Nothing happened."
"Something did. You can try to deny your feelings all you want, but don't you want to tell someone? You're denying them for a reason... could it be that you need help?"
"I... I had a dream..."
((So how was it? Good? It's still kind of a rough draft, I think, I don't know. Just... let me know how it is. K? Pleeeaaaassseee??? I'm like... kinda stressed and getting a review will make me feel a *lot* better))
Title: Finding One's Life
Rating: PG13 ((? for now at least *wink*))
Pairing: Akira/Hikaru
Warnings: um... possible, growing angst? UST (heh, kinda). Hokuto Cup and after (Chapter 189 was the last one I read...)
Enjoy!
Chapter 1
Akira let the water stream down over him. Usually he would take his showers at night, but when he woke up, he just felt he had to. Something about that dream... it started off like a normal dream, and why it progressed to there, he didn't know.
********** Pa-chii ^How did I get myself this far behind?^ Akira wondered to himself as he stared at the goban. He searched his mind for anything to get out of it...
"I..." he started, but then... why did the board look bigger? He continued to stare at it as it just got bigger and bigger. Then suddenly, all at once, he was no bigger than a go stone.
He stood up and looked around, confused for a moment before realizing that there looked to be doors on the stones. He walked up to one and opened it.
He was now in a place that seemed to be a mix of the go institute for the insei, and his own house. He could hear a man's voice coming from the playing room. He walked over there and searched around the room for the speaker. All he could see were insei paired up at the gobans.
He continued to scan the room until he saw one insei looking behind him. He turned around and saw his dad. His dad was saying something, but he just couldn't make it out. He leaned his back against the wall, trying to make out what it was his father was trying to tell him.
He felt something snake around his waist. He looked down, surprised to see that they were arms. He then realized that the wall he was leaning on seemed a little too soft to be a wall, and there was definitely a breathing- type movement.
He turned around in the arms to see who it was, but he didn't get the chance to. The person's lips were on his own. And while he still didn't know who it was, the kiss was great and he could feel himself melting into it, returning the kiss. Together they deepened the kiss and Akira wrapped his arms around the person.
One of the person's hands stayed on Akira's back, while the other was brought to unbutton his shirt slowly. When the shirt was unbuttoned, the person ran both hands over his chest, and let fingers tease his nipples.
Akira pressed his whole body against the mysterious person. The person ended the kiss and whispered out Akira's name, and started kissing and licking his neck before the identity could be seen. Akira arched his neck and whispered out. "Hikaru..." **********
Akira didn't understand it. He thought that taking the shower would give him more time to think about it. ^There's nothing to think about. You don't like him. You can't like him. You don't like him... it's just hormones in overdrive or something. Come on, Akira, you've controlled your emotions, you can control this.^
He nodded to himself. "I'll have to control it." He whispered, turning the water off and stepping out to dry himself and to stop his hair from dripping. He put on his robe and walked back to his room, running a comb through his hair and getting dressed.
As he walked towards the kitchen, he wondered what he wanted for breakfast, but stopped when he saw Hikaru eating some ramen.
"Where's Yashiro?" Akira asked, noticing the other boy's absence.
Hikaru looked up from his ramen, some noodles still hanging down from his mouth. He finished hi mouthful, astounded at how Akira looked. So relaxed. He had never really seen his long-time crush in the morning before.
Hikaru looked over the object of his affections. The still wet hair clinging to his face and neck, bluish-grey silk shirt that complimented his eyes nicely. A few buttons at the top of his shirt were undone, exposing some flesh that was tempting him to touch. He forced himself to continue his look over to Akira's usual cream colored slacks that always complimented the length of his legs.
He let his eyes trail down the completely before trailing his eyes back up, looking at everything a second time, admiringly. His gaze paused on Akira's lips, wondering, once again, what it would be like to kiss him, what he tasted like, how Akira's lips would feel against his skin. He stopped himself from licking his lips, and continued to move his eyes across the beautiful face to look into his eyes.
Akira stared at Hikaru, watching him as he looked over him. Akira's body seemed to tingle as he watched the path Hikaru's eyes took. ^Why is he doing this?^ Akira blushed ever so slightly when Hikaru's eyes lingered on his lips, remembering the events in his dream. ^Oh... please look away, Hikaru. I don't want to remember the dream... please...^ Akira saw that Hikaru's eyes moved again then. As if he had heard his silent pleas. Then Hikaru's gaze met his own. Green bore into hazel. ((A/N: I say hazel because that seems to be the kind of eyes Akira has, with the difference in color for different parts of the anime)) Something warm seemed to pass between them.
But Akira wouldn't have that, and looked away, breaking the invisible thread that seemed to connect them in that one gaze.
Hikaru was a little upset, but didn't really expect much else anyway. He decided to just answer Akira's question now. "He wanted to pick up a few things he forgot from his friend."
"Oh." He said, grabbing something to eat. "Do you know when he'll be back?"
"Not really. He said he wanted to hang out with his friend for about 3 hours, though, and play twice as hard when he gets back to make up for it. I told him not to worry about it." Hikaru replied, getting close to finishing his ramen.
"And how about you? Do you plan on playing this morning?"
"Normally I would say yes..." Hikaru thought to himself: ^I love playing Akira. It seems each time we play, I learn more and more about his technique. If I want to beat him, I just have to learn it faster than he's learning mine... but yet I want to spend time with him other than when we're playing...^ "But maybe we should relax too."
"But the competition is less than-" Akira started.
"I know, but if we keep worrying about it all the time, we'll play badly."
Akira paused, then nodded. "You're right. But what will we do?"
"Well, do you always practice or study kifus before a match?" Hikaru started.
"Not always..."
"Well, what else do you do then?"
Hikaru stood up and grabbed Akira's wrist, dragging him out of the house. "Where are you taking me?" Akira asked, trying to pull out of the grasp, but Hikaru's hold wouldn't let him.
"You'll see." Hikaru answered, smiling slightly at the contact. "I go there a lot when I'm not doing anything go related."
"Oh." Akira paused. "You don't have to hold my wrist anymore, I'll come." He said, but Hikaru seemed not to have heard it, and just continued walking.
Akira could feel the warmth from the hand on his wrist, which seemed to be slowly spreading through him. ^I like this. But I can't. I'm not supposed to feel this way. I can't... it's just my body craving another's touch. I won't give into it.^ Akira ignored the warmth feeling and just let Hikaru take him to wherever they were going.
"Here we are." Hikaru said, stopping in an alley. There were only two signs on the wall on either side of the door. Both read "The Cat's Eye"
"Shindo, aren't clubs for-"
"I know, but this one's age limit is 15." Hikaru looked at Akira. "I'll let go of your wrist if you promise you'll stay for a while."
"I promise" Akira said.
Hikaru let go of his wrist, already missing the contact, but hoping there would be another time. Especially after today. He opened the door and let them enter.
Akira looked around. He figured it would be busier at night, as right now there were just about four couples dancing at one part where the music was coming from, two groups of three talking in booths along the walls, and two people at the bar.
"Shindo." A voice sounded from behind the boys. They turned around as the man continued to speak. "What happened with the-- oh." The man stopped when he noticed Akira. "I'm Kenji. ((A/N: blame Ebby))"
"Touya Akira."
"Is this your first time here?" Seeing the boy nod, he continued. "Well then welcome. Hope you enjoy it here."
"Hey, go around, make some friends. I have to talk to Kenji for a bit." Hikaru said.
"Okay." Akira answered and watched them leave into a booth before looking around again. He didn't really know what to do here.
A girl, with long, straight, blond hair, tied back in a pony tail, walked up to Akira. She looked to be about only fifteen. "Hello. You're new here, right? You don't know what to do? Do you know what specialty this place has?" She asked with an accent.
"This place has a specialty?"
"Hai. It gives people a chance to ask for and give advice to others, without worrying about creeps. Each person goes through a little mini test type thing, unless they were brought by someone who already came here. Like you don't have to take the test. I myself came from the US, which would explain my accent. Basically this is an advice and hang out club."
"How did Shindo come here?"
"Kenji found him in the park and they talked. Kenji told him about this place and where it was at."
"Why did he come here?"
"We keep things like that secrets. Talk to him if you want to know."
Akira looked for Hikaru, and saw him dancing with Kenji. He was surprised. ^What? Is Hikaru gay?^ He looked on, watching them dance, part of him wanting to be the one Hikaru was dancing with. A part of him he pushed away and ignored.
"Is he jealous?" Hikaru whispered to Kenji.
Kenji glanced at Akira. "He's staring at you."
"Do you think it's working?"
"I don't know. Maybe you should talk to him tonight."
"You think so?"
"Yeah. I won't guarantee good will come out of it. I'd hope for it, but I won't guarantee it. Still, you need to know."
Hikaru nodded his agreement and leaned closer to (name), thinking of what he would say and how he would start the conversation, if he needed to.
Akira saw them move closer and looked away, back to the girl.
"Do you want to sit down? The booths are nice." The girl stated.
Akira nodded. "Okay." They went to a booth and sat down. "I don't think I've gotten your name yet."
"Oh. I'm sorry, it's Robin."
"Touya Akira."
"Okay." Robin stopped what she was about to say next when she saw Akira looking over at Hikaru and Kenji. "Are you upset?"
Akira looked back to Robin, surprised by her question. "Nani?"
"Are you upset?" The girl was talking quietly now. "That Hikaru is dancing with him instead of you."
Akira was even more surprised and his first thoughts were ^Is it obvious? If it isn't, who *is* this girl?^ "N-no..."
"Hm... you're denying it. Something happened..."
Akira was suddenly reminded of the dream. "Nothing happened."
"Something did. You can try to deny your feelings all you want, but don't you want to tell someone? You're denying them for a reason... could it be that you need help?"
"I... I had a dream..."
((So how was it? Good? It's still kind of a rough draft, I think, I don't know. Just... let me know how it is. K? Pleeeaaaassseee??? I'm like... kinda stressed and getting a review will make me feel a *lot* better))