Hihi! I'm back with yet another one-shot. I like writing one-shots! Anyway, I started this months ago, (Like the start of the six week holidays - Start of July), and today I decided to finish it. Soo... Hm, I don't know what to day. Yeah, I hope you like it!
Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly.
Admitting I Love You
(Freddie's POV)
I was gonna say it. I was gonna say it today. I was gonna say it yesterday. I was gonna say it last week. I was gonna say it last month. But something always stops me. I can't do it. I can't say it. I'm scared. Terrified.
What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she hates me? Something like this... It changes everything. Will it be a good change? I hope. But there's always a chance something bad can happen.
I sat watching the girl I loved, right in front of me. Her smile, her laugh, it was my whole world. She makes me happy, by constantly beating me up. I'd never ask her to change.
"Benson! What are you looking at?!" A voice snapped, knocking me out of thought. The voice belonged to the one and only, Sam Puckett.
"What?" I questioned, but then I realized what she was talking about. I had been watching her for the last five minutes. "Oh, um. Nothing." I looked away, awkwardly, finding something else to watch.
Me, Sam and Carly had been talking, laughing and just being weird for about 3 hours now. Just sitting in Carly's apartment. We had planned to go rehearse for iCarly, but it was too hot, and we couldn't be bothered.
"Maybe, he has like, this thing..." Carly started, "You know, nearly everything he touches burst's into flames! Hey, that could be a new bit on iCarly!"
"Umm... Dudes bursting into flames?" Sam laughed, "That'd be so cool!" Sometimes, I worried about what went on in her head...
"No! We could do a segment where we set random things on fire!" Carly was just about to say something else, when her phone started ringing. "Hello? Oh, hi Spence! You done what? Wait - Seriously? You're stuck to it? Oh Spencer! Yeah, I'm coming... Bye. Yes Spencer! I'm coming right now! No, I'm not going to leave you stuck to it! Spencer! Just go!" I laughed at her conversation with her older brother. He was such a child!
"Okay, what was that?" I asked, as I watched Carly pick up her jacket.
"Oh, Spencer got stuck to a cage at the Zoo near the tiger habitat and now he needs me to go help him." Carly sighed, "I'll see you guys later."
"You don't want us to come?" Sam asked. Now, she either didn't want to just leave her bestfriend, or she wanted to see Spencer stuck to something. Probably the second one.
"Narh, it's cool. Just don't eat all my food, or kill each other!" Carly shouted as she left the apartment.
"No promises!" Sam shouted, which worried me... She's gonna eat all the food, or she's gonna kill me?
"See ya." I shouted, as the door slammed shut.
I'm gonna say it.
Today.
I can do it. There's only me and Sam here, with no distractions. What can go wrong? My eyes shot over to the blonde headed demon, who hadn't taken her eyes off the TV screen.
What if she didn't feel the same way? What if I make a complete fool out of myself? If she had moved on from the last time we dated, it would just make everything awkward. Sam doesn't know I like her, anymore. I never show it. I act like I don't care, like I've moved on, back to Carly, which honestly I'd never do. I love Carly, yeah, but as a friend or more like a sister. I treat Sam like rubbish, and I hate the way I do it, but it's only because I'm scared. Scared that if I get too close, tell her my feelings, she'll hate me again, and probably never talk to me. I'm scared that she has moved on, and started to like other guys again. That she's completely forgot about the time we dated. With the way be both act towards each other, no one would ever know we've dated before.
Sam's different to most girls. But that's what I love about her. We fight and argue, but I know I'd never let anything happen to her, and I hoped she'd feel the same way about me.
A small laugh came from the blonde headed girl, lying on the couch. I turned to face her, though her eyes were still fixed on her TV.
"Benson, get me some ham, will ya?" She said, watching the TV intensely.
"What, don't you have legs?" I replied. Sam slowly turned her head to face me, a look on her face like she was about to kill me. "I'll go get the ham."
She nodded as I rose out of my seat, "Good boy." then her eyes darted back to the TV, as she began laughing at the show. I didn't exactly know what she was watching, but I had seen a bit of it. I didn't really like it that much, it was a bit boring, though sometimes it was funny. I reached the fridge and pulled out a large plate of ham, "Hurry Benson! Mama's hungry! Oh, and bring me some Peppy Cola while you're over there!" I rolled my eyes, and grabbed a can of Peppy Cola, which I carried in my right arm.
"Here." I handed her the plate of ham, and placed the Peppy Cola on the table next to her. "You know, Carly said not to eat all her food?"
"I'm not. I'm eating a plate of ham which isn't all her food, and drinking a Peppy Cola, which is technically not a food, it's a drink."
I rolled my eyes, and sat down again. "Can we watch something different? This show's boring." I complained, reaching forward to grab the remote off of the coffee table in front of me.
"No!" Sam quickly slapped my hand away, leaving a red mark on it. "There's nothing better on! Anyway, I love this show."
"Fine, but I'm not gonna watch it." I climbed out of my seat, and made my way over to the computer. I clicked on our website, and began searching through videos our fans sent us. "Hey, you said we needed another part for the next iCarly, right? Will fan videos do?"
Sam looked over at me, "Yeah, I suppose. It means mama doesn't have to do anything, so it's alright with me."
"Okay." I smiled, and clicked on some videos. The first ones I watched weren't too funny, and many of them were confusing, and didn't make much sense. Like a guy dancing with a pig puppet on his hand... What? Our fans are weird. I searched through more, for about twenty minutes, until I found a video that I found entertaining. "Puckett, come check this out. It's hilarious!"
"Dude, I'm busy. Watching, eating, not caring about what you're doing."
"Sam, come on! This is so funny. You'll love it!"
Sam stared over at me, "No. Nothing you find funny is ever actually funny. I mean seriously, you like Galaxy Wars and find your AV nerds hilarious and 'cool'." She said, putting air quotes around the word 'cool'.
I rolled my eyes, "Sam! Watch it! I'll buy you fatcakes, later."
"Mamas coming!" Sam shouted, eagerly jumping out of her position on the couch.
I laughed and clicked the video, which Sam actually found funny. We sat watching videos for nearly an hour until it came to one me and Sam found particularly interesting. It started with a girl named Jennifer. She was running around the streets in a panda costume, shouting "Watch iCarly!" then she started dancing and screaming many Sam-like words. It was weird, but quite entertaining to see the reactions she got off of people. The video went black, and me and Sam thought it ended, though it didn't. A note came up on the video saying "Just my thoughts", the Jennifer flashed back onto the screen. She wasn't wearing Panda costume anymore, and looked pretty serious, sat in a small room which looked like it could be her bedroom.
"Hey." She spoke, "I just wanted to say a few stuff..." Sam was just about to turn off the video to watch another one, "Stuff about Sam and Freddie." That got our attention, our heads both shot up, as we stared at the screen. "Sam, Freddie, you guys are so stupid." Wow, she's kind. "You should of never spilt up. You guys were way too cute. You can tell you both didn't want to break up. It's pretty obvious, with the way you guys look at each other, and the way Sam acts towards Freddie." I felt my cheeks so red, as I filled with embarrassment, this was so awkward. I saw Sam out the corner of my eye, her face was blank, she shown no expression, she was just watching. "Seddie was perfect. You guys both still have feelings for each other, so get back together. It's simple. Freddie, you are... Well, an idiot." Great, an awkward video, and I get insulted twice! "You treat Sam horribly, but yet she still loves you. You still love her." I am regretting ever making Sam watch video with me, right now. "Kay. That's about it. See ya's!"
Silence. The room was filled with an awkward silence. We both sat staring at the computer, not saying a thing. I looked at Sam, though I done it so she wouldn't know I was watching her, and she looked lost in thought, like she was realizing something.
"Well..." I said, breaking the silence, "The first part of that video was good..."
Sam turned her head slightly, so she was looking at me, "Yeah. I suppose it was. Can we not watch any more videos? I want to watch the TV again. And you still owe me fatcakes." Her face now had a mix of different emotions, embarrassment was one of them, then there was a half look of disgust, I think it was, then half pain, and a little bit happy, or so that's what I thought. Maybe I was completely wrong. She could just be majorly annoyed...
I gazed over to the TV, and nodded, "Yeah, good idea..." I spoke, quietly. There was still an awkward tension in the room. Both of us not really knowing what to say. Sam got out of her seat, and threw herself back into her position on the couch, just like earlier, whereas I stayed sitting at the computer.
I checked some reviews on our latest webcast, though I didn't get through a lot. I was more concentrating on what just happened. Sam had been laying on the couch, claming to be watching the TV, though every time I looked at her, she was gazing up at the ceiling, with the TV playing quietly in the background.
Suddenly, there was a beeping noise coming from Sams pocket. I watched her, as she grabbed her phone, and began reading a message.
"Who from?" I asked, curiously, trying to make things less awkward.
"Carly," Sam replied, her eyes still fixed on her phone, "She says she just got Spencer un-stuck and had to have a little talk with the owner of the zoo, but they're coming back now, and should be here in about 20 to 30 minutes."
"Ah..."
I had to do it now. It's my only chance. I had to say it. But, how? Things were already awkward with the video we just watched, and I didn't want to make it worse! That's when I realized something... Jennifer said, she sees in the way Sam acts that she still likes me. Was that true? Does Sam still like me? What if she's wrong? What if Sam knows I've been such a jerk, and she hates me? But, what if she's right? What if Sam does still like me, but she wont say? I guess I'll never know until I try. There's the problem though, should I try? Should I ask? Should I confess? Tell her how I feel? I had so many questions running through my head. I was scared. Petrified. 'Yet she still loves you. You still love her.' Was she right? Did Sam still love me? I doubt it.
I had to do it.
I should do it.
I want to do it.
I am going to do it.
"Sam..."
"Yeah?"
"I-I..." I got stuck. I didn't know what to say. What do to.
"What?! Say it Benson. Don't waste my time."
I swallowed, hard. "Sam. I'm sorry. For everything. Okay? Sorry for how I've treated you ever since we broke up, like I never cared. I do care, Sam. Jennifer... Jennifer was right, okay? I-I, urm... I still... I still have feelings for you. I've acted like a complete jerk, but that's because I was scared... I thought you forgot about me, I thought you completely moved on. I was wrong to act the way I did, though. Like, with the Pear Store thing? Everything I said about you... It was wrong, and I know that. I regretted it as soon as I walked out the shop. I wanted to apologize, but I knew you didn't want to hear it. I know that was wrong, though. I should of apologized. I never wanted to break up with you Sam, I never wanted to forget what happened between us. I know you probably don't care. I know you probably hate me but I-I..." I stopped, and stared at the girl in front of me.
I didn't speak for two minutes, neither did she, I thought she hadn't been listening. "You what, Freddie?"
"I love you..."
I done it.
So, am I evil for leaving it there? Do you hate me for that? Do you want to hit me with your Butter Sock, because of it? Muhaha.
What did you think of it?
Good? Bad? What did you like? What could I do to improve?
Thanks for reading! :)
