'Lil james becher'S adventures in wonderlanD
Written by Paul Gersky
Based on "Alice and Wonderland" and "Through
the Looking Glass" by Lewis Carroll and "American McGee's Alice."
Author's Notes: This was originally a story I did for my friends
so let's forgive the fact that I'm in the story. As you'll see the story starts
off humorous but it gets a little darker and action oriented in the middle. I'm
interested in what you all think so if you'd like me to continue writing it
post a review or e-mail me. Thanks.-Paul
This is a story. A story of a boy. A very fat boy. A
morbidly obese boy. A morbidly obese, drug addicted boy. This is the story of a
morbidly obese, drug addicted boy and his "trip" to a marvelous place, a place
called Wonderland.
Chapter 1
It was Friday. James Becher usually
hated Fridays. Friday was the day of the week when the "cool" people went to
the mall, went on dates, and did cool stuff. While Becher's mom reassured him
that he was the coolest kid she knew he still never did anything. But today was
an exception. Becher had actually been invited to his friend Nathan's house to
hang out. Becher didn't actually like Nate too much but anything beat sitting
at home. Now Becher was in Nate's basement sitting on the couch watching his
friends play video games. He was content just watching. Everyone was here, his
heterosexually challenged friend Steve, the lady-killer Nick, Nate, Paul G.,
Eric( Mendelson, the very short kid that was half Jewish, worked at Tubby's and
enjoyed group poetry sessions.), some kid he didn't know named John, and Holly.
Becher was a little uncomfortable with Holly here. He'd never actually talked
to a girl that he wasn't related to but he felt he was doing quite well.
Earlier Holly had initiated a conversation. It went something like this.
"Hello James. How are you doing?"
"W.. wh.. GNUH!"
"Oh.. OK. That's good I guess. So
Steve tells me you're into wrestling."
"Br.. boo.. mweh.. HUH!"
"OK. Um.. cool.. I guess.. Well talk
to you later."
Yes Becher felt he had done quite
well. He figured that if he kept going at this rate he'd match Nick's mad pimping
skills in no time. Just then, Becher heard a loud crash. Nick had tossed his
N64 controller at the TV.
"What a Golden Eye rip off," he
said.
Becher could tell Nick was just mad
that he'd lost to Paul. Nick couldn't handle losing.
"How 'bout a game of pool. I'll show
you all how a real man plays. Me and Holly versus Becher and Steve," Nick said.
Now this wasn't exactly fair as both
Nick and Holly were decent pool players, and while Steve and Becher were used
to playing with sticks and balls, they just couldn't quite get the hang of
pool. Go figure. But anyway no one dared argue with Nick.
"Oh this is going to be a GREAT
game," Nathan said in a sarcastic tone, "John wanna go play Armored Core 2?"
"Well I've never played it before so
you'll have to give me about thirty seconds 'till I'm better then you," John
said.
"Whatever," Nathan said. They both
walked to Nathan's room and shut the door.
"OK Nathan's gone. Let's get to
work," Eric said.
Both he and Paul grabbed backpacks
and went towards Nathan's refrigerator and cabinets. They began filling their
bags with pop and assorted food. This was their pay back for years of Nathan
mooching their food.
"Hey Becher you gonna stare at G all
day or are you gonna play some pool?" Nick yelled.
"Uh.. what? Sorry," Becher said.
He'd been watching Eric and Paul and didn't realize it
was his turn. Nick and Holly weren't playing very defensive pool. They'd set
Becher up with a perfect shot. He hit the cue ball and it slammed into a
striped ball sending it into the corner pocket.
"Fats you moron!" Steve yelled.
"Ha! Good job Becher. Didn't know you were playing for
our team," Nick said.
"You moron! We were solids! You weren't paying
attention at all were you?" Steve yelled.
Holly just giggled.
Becher could take Nick's mocking. He could take
Steve's yelling and idle threats. But the first girl he'd ever talked to
laughing at him? Well that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Tears
began to roll down Becher's face.
"Just leave me alone! All of you!" Becher screamed.
He dropped the pool stick and ran up the stairs
brushing tears away from his eyes. As he opened the basement door he heard
footsteps coming up the stairs behind him.
"No. I'm going home. I'm not going to give them the
satisfaction of apologizing to me!" Becher thought. He opened the door to
Nate's breezeway and ran inside slamming the door behind him. He locked it
hoping that would delay them a few seconds.
Now no one will ever accuse Becher of being a
particularly bright guy. Right now he had two choices. He wanted to get home.
He could've easily ran out the door on his right, ran up the street, and been
on his way to his house but instead he chose to take the door on the left,
which lead to Nate's fenced in backyard. It was January, there was snow on the
ground and Becher had left his shoes and coat inside.
"Darn it," he thought.
He was cold but he wasn't going to go back inside the
house. Then, something caught Becher's attention. He noticed a flickering of
gold in the moonlight. He looked closer and he could make out the silhouette of
a rabbit, wearing a vest, holding a gold pocket watch .
"What the f…" Becher stared but
didn't finish.
The rabbit dove into a hole and was
gone in a second.
"Becher!" somebody yelled.
He'd been to busy staring at the
rabbit and they'd caught up with him. Well he wasn't about to let them
apologize. He began to run toward where the rabbit had disappeared. Like I said
early Becher wasn't very slim, he was rather fat. And most rabbit holes aren't
exactly large, but none-the less when Becher ran over he fell in. Now this was
quite a strange sight for everyone watching. One second Becher was standing
there, the next he was gone. They all just stood their perplexed.
Becher on the other hand, fell. He'd
never liked roller coasters and now he was free falling down a large hole. He
felt sick to his stomach. He hoped it would end soon. But it didn't. Becher
just fell. Sooner or later the nausea passed and Becher was better able to get
a look at his surroundings. All around him there were cupboards filled with
food. Becher opened some as he fell grabbing food and taking it along with him.
Sooner or later he had made himself a nice BLT.
"This ain't so bad," Becher said as
he finished the sandwich.
Almost as those words left his mouth
he hit the ground with a loud bang.
