How do you get that lonely?
We all have our own skeletons in our closets; sometimes we would do anything not to let that door open, even if it means destroying the ones you love, or even killing yourself.
I am one of those people, I'll lock myself in that dark closet, and I will never show anyone what I have in here, even if it kills me.
Here I sat, waiting for my husband of nine years to return…
There is a glass of wine accompanying me, I think I have had 5 bottles in the last few days, I wonder what day it is today?
The view outside this huge condo window shows the reoccurring image every night, silent cars passing on the highway rushing to return home, the lights of late night bars flickering, and the lights of cheating spouses in the open hotel rooms. To me this 'luxury' life I live is just another day given to me as torture. I wonder if this is karma.
By now there are only vacant streets, and more lights. Everyone is sleeping.
I pick up my glass twirl around the red wine, and drink the bland poison.
Click. I hear the sound of the lock pad being pressed, and unlocked.
And now here I go to repeat this ongoing and tiring routine.
I stand up in my white cashmere robe and vicuna sandals.
I walk toward the front door, expressionless.
I see the man I married standing by the frame of the door, covered in the scent of smoke and sex.
"Where have you been Takumi?" I say, not even with heart.
He closes the door, and walks past me, diligently ignoring my presence.
Not even hurt by it anymore, I follow him into our bedroom as he takes off his black jacket and throws it onto the bed.
"Did you like it?" I say already knowing all too well what the answer was.
He sighs as if he has the burdens of the president.
"Nana, let's not do this tonight, I'm tired." He says unbuttoning the last few buttons that weren't already unbuttoned.
As he strips off his white shirt, I see a hickey on his neck, replacing the previous ones.
My hand slightly twitches as he removes his wallet and an earring from his pants pocket.
"She did this again?" He says while walking holding up the diamond dangling earring
"Do you have even an inch of respect for me as your wife?" I said softly.
He slightly stops for a minute before tossing the earring on the dresser and walking into the shower.
I hear the shower turn on, and stay there for a minute before I leave our bedroom.
I Know I shouldn't be too upset, knowing the man I married. But who wouldn't feel this way?
I walk to my daughter's room and crack open the door.
There she rests soundly asleep.
She reminds me every day of what happiness is and gives me the courage to keep looking forward, if not for my daughter I wouldn't be able to keep going.
I love my daughter more than anything in this world.
If only I could keep her in my arms forever and not let her go.
I walk into her room and whisper in her ear "Satsuki are you awake?"
As I thought, she was quietly asleep.
I slip myself quietly into her bed, and wrap my arms around her.
I didn't want to sleep with that man, not tonight.
I close my eyes, finally feeling comfortable I fall asleep.
The next day, the light is shining bright through the pink curtains.
I look over to see Satsuki missing. I rub my eyes and sit up.
Her side of the bed was warm, she must still be here.
I get up to go make her something before she goes to school.
As I am leaving her room and heading toward the kitchen I smell strawberries.
I enter the kitchen half asleep figuring it was Satsuki I smile "Good morning Baby, you're awake. Are you making breakfast?"
"Someone is awfully affectionate in the morning." I hear Takumi say.
My smile suddenly fell, and I felt disturbed.
I turn around because I didn't want to see his face
Why is he still here doesn't he have to shoot for his movie?
I don't say anything and proceed to go look for Satsuki, until Takumi grabs my waist.
He presses himself against me, and whispers in my ear "You look different, did you lose weight?" I feel his black hair fall onto my neck sliding down to my shoulder.
I try to get out of his grasp, but I fail he is too strong.
"Is that any way to treat your husband?" He says pulling me in even harder to the point where it almost hurts.
I was going to make a smart remark, but didn't.
"Where is Satsuki?" I say
"She's at school she just left." He says
He then kisses my neck.
"Could you let go, Satsuki didn't take her lunch." I say looking at her pink lunch box on the table.
It is quiet for a moment, and I hear him sigh.
He then grips my arm with all his strength slamming my body onto the wall.
"CAN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE!?" he yells
I look at him as if he were speaking another language.
"I AM YOUR HUSBAND YOU SHOULD BE KISSING MY FEET, AFTER ALL I HAVE DONE FOR YOU! I EVEN MARRIED THE LIKES OF YOU!" he continues.
My eyes widened.
I look away.
There is nothing but silence and Takumi slightly lessens the force on me, but he lets his head drop still clinging onto my arm.
"Satsuki needs her lunch…" I say trying once again to get away from him.
He looks at me and finally releases me.
"That is not something you say after seeing me for the first time in a month." He says before slapping me.
I don't even flinch; I won't let him know it hurt.
I try to walk past him, but he grabs me by robe this time, and pulls out my hair tie, making my hair fall.
I push him away; I can still smell the smell of another woman on his skin.
He pulls me into a rough kiss.
It tastes like smoke.
I Spit on the ground, and wipe my lips.
I can see it really angered him; by the way his eyebrows crinkle.
He pushes me onto wall again and slams his fist next to my face.
"Do you hate me that much?" He says as if I did this.
"Do you hate me that much?" I say answering his question.
"What?" He says enraged.
"Do you hate me?" I say looking at the tile floors.
He growls and pulls my robe off my shoulder.
"YOU" he says biting my shoulder.
I wince in pain and push him again.
He pushes my shoulders back hard.
"Don't be a tease" He says with the eyes of an wolf.
I feel disgusted, as I try with all my might to make him stop.
I can't get him off as he pulls off my robe, exposed and vulnerable, he has his way, as usual. Even if I don't want it.
After he lights a cigarette and drops a wad of cash on the table, and leaves the condo.
I pick myself up and prepare to go to Satsuki's school.
At her school, carrying her lunch box I head over to Satsuki's class.
Just as I am about to enter the noisy classroom, I hear a familiar name.
"Mr. Terashima, Your son is causing so much trouble I am afraid he might be expelled. Not only is he distracting himself but all the other students in his class as well."
My eyes widened, and I felt my heart being squeezed.
I dropped the lunch box forgetting my priorities.
I headed over to where the sound was coming from.
I felt much excitement and anticipation building up; I wasn't running down the hall fast enough.
I finally reached the principal's office, out of breath and inside I saw a man sitting facing the bald principle and a young boy.
"Nobuo?" I said quietly
He slowly turned his head, revealing the man i have locked inside my closet along with all my feelings.
I felt my eyes water.
Nana?
End
A/N: I didn't like the way the anime ended, so I decided I will continue it, in my own way…
It was supposed to be a one-shot, but it'll probably get 2 extra chapters ^^