Cardamom, Cinnamon and Sunsets
Every so often, when Dean and Sam are on cases and they stop at a small cafe in some small town across the country, he'll see it. It's usually a glass case, no bigger than most displays and usually holding lights. And then there's the food within - sometimes cookies, brownies, cakes, and Dean's favourite - pies. There's something about it that makes him remember a simpler time, when he wasn't killing and hunting things or trying to save every waking person in danger. Something about the spices and fruit made him come up with the saying that had in turn been a goal in a hunter's life if he could ever achieve it - a calm, nearly-static lifestyle with domestic worries and no killing things, except for the occasional cockroach or spider.
He never thought he'd actually get that, of course. And maybe it wasn't exactly as he imagined, but he'd take what he could get. And most of all, he just didn't think it would take something supernatural to set it all in motion, that's all.
Late morning, and there's nothing moving in the bunker for once. Things are too quiet, both brothers are asleep, given they're in the one place they don't have to always be on alert in. But in a smaller room down the hall some ways down from Dean's room, there's muffled praying, a hope - though not completely spoken - still hanging by a thread. And like the flash of light that is chased by thunder, it was a chain reaction. No rhyme or reason to it, pending fate works itself out.
It's a slight rustle as Castiel gets up from the bed he'd been sitting on, wondering why things were so quiet until he remembered Dean had declared today a resting holiday - this was three days prior. No cases, no arguing, just sleeping in and reading things for the fun of it - no research on Sam's part. Sam had gone out to get coffee, and people watch, something he said he never gave himself the time to do.
When Dean finally did wake up, he stretched and padded down the hallway to Cas' room, just to see if the angel was still there, being he had a habit of disappearing every so often. Knocking on the door, he waited before hearing someone call for him.
But it didn't sound like Cas. Dean probably was just hearing things, that was it.
"What's up, Cas?" He asked gently, making the decision to just open the door.
Dean nearly did a double take at the woman standing with the blanket wrapped around her, teartracks down her cheeks.
"M-my vessel's emotions, apparently. C-can't get used to this." She (he?) spoke through broken sobs.
"C-Cas?" Dean asked, hand dropping uselessly as he gaped. He took a step forward, whispering almost in awe, "Cas, is that you?"
"Y-yeah, Dean. I don't- I don't know what happened...one minute there's a bright light and then- I..." Blue eyes closed as she wiped at her cheeks with one hand, stumbling slightly with nerves as he took in her form. "I'm a female. I don't understand how...and I...Dean! My eyes are up here!" she nearly cried, trying not to giggle.
Dean blinked and snapped his gaze up, not realizing he had defaulted to how he usually behaves at bars. "Sorry, sorry. I just...wow." Dean stepped forward, touching Cas's cheek in wonder. "First things first, let's get some clothes on you." He said.
"Nothing of mine fits anymore, I doubt yours'll, but- Dean?" her voice was softer, almost as though she didn't want to talk. "I was wondering..."
"What is it?" Dean asked softly, craning his neck down to try to catch Cas's gaze, moving a hand to his (her?) bare shoulder, squeezing lightly.
"Since I'm an angel, we have no true preference to our vessels...I have no problems with being female, it'll just take some getting used to. And I...I know you're usually asking forms like these out for drinks at bars, which leds to...things I'd rather not speak of. How do you- no, that's not right...would you- no, not that either. Nevermind." She sat down on her bed again with a soft huff, not looking at him.
Dean's lips quirked fondly at the awkward way Cas spoke. He knelt down in front of the beautiful, shy woman and rubbed her knee, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Hey, Cas. You can ask me anything." He assured.
A shudder passed through her at his hand on her knee, though she smiled. "I want you to- to show me. How you-what you- why humans think falling in love is such a beautiful idea. I mean not love, because you've never been with the same person twice, but-I mean-I'll be quiet now, I've said too much."
Dean felt his eyes go wide. Was she really asking what he thought she was asking? And how was this all just coming on like this?
Yes, he liked Castiel in a way he would never admit to himself. He was a friend, more like a brother, he was family. But for Dean to willingly admit that he wanted to be in a relationship with the angel? He didn't- didn't know how go about doing that. And now that he- well, she had taken on her current form...Dean somehow felt more comfortable, as if this time he actually had a chance.
"Damn it!" It was a frustrated sigh from the woman as she snapped, looking around. "The door's not- it's not closing. I should be able to-"
Dean got up and pushed the door he had walked through closed.
"I think you might not be graced up, something tells me whatever happened not only turned you into a girl but has made you human again. Do you have any idea what could have done this?"
She shook her head, "I don't-I don't know. But I mean, I know you, you- things are different than when I first pulled you from hell. Things have changed, I can see it in how you look at me. Like you're lying to yourself about something. And before you go and accuse me of anything, I know. Dean I know."
He looked at her, frozen in that she was seeing right through him, even as a human.
"You've loved me far longer than you can say, and I absolutely feel the same."
She spoke confidently, unable to realize what she was really saying. She loved Dean, that she knew - and he felt the same. But did - would he do anything about it?
She dropped her head into her hands after a moment of silence.
"Cas, are you saying you want to have sex?" He asked, picking up both of Cas's now dainty hands. "You don't have to be shy if that's what you're asking for, sweetheart."
"I forgot that's what humans call it. I've never - this vessel hasn't experienced anything since the - whatever it was did this to me. I just - maybe it'd calm me down? I hear you and Sam talking about watching certain sites and flipping through the magazines when you've been drinking so maybe this is the same?"
Dean sat on the bed beside Cas. "You're beautiful. Both in this format and the one we're more used to. But you need to understand that those sites aren't accurate. They make sex out to be just an easy, no commitment thing. In real life, there are a lot of emotions. You don't need to rush into this, Cas. I want you to be sure this is what you want first."
"It is." Her own voice surprised herself, and she hiccupped slightly, throwing a hand over her mouth.
Dean's eyes widened.
"Well. This is new to both of us then. Cas, I promise," he started, one hand lifting to cup her cheek, "I'm not gonna hurt you. It's going to hurt, but not for long. Are you sure?" he asked again.
She nodded. "I'm as sure as the day I fell, for you. You know you're why I fell. They say the moment I laid a hand on you in hell I was lost, and maybe that's tr-" she was cut off as he leaned in and kissed her, lips gentle as her eyes fluttered close.
"I'm gonna head back to my room and grab a condom, okay? Don't want anything happening since it's a new form for you," he pointed out with a light laugh.
She tried to smile, playing with the draped end of the blanket still around her..
He was right, it- it'd hurt at first, she whimpering as her legs locked against him and her body went rigid.
"Cas...Cas, sweetheart, you gotta relax. It's gonna get better but you gotta let me in," Dean had murmured, lips sucking a mark into her neck as her nails gripped tightly at his back.
"I- I can't," she cried, trying to slow her breathing and relax as he'd asked, and then- when he moved again, something snapped and she cried out, sealing her lips onto his to stop herself from being loud.
"There you go, sweetheart, I'm in. Fuck, you're- god, you're tight." Dean praised, hands twining with hers in the sheets.
It hadn't been long before she'd snapped - locking around Dean with a cry of his name when the sensations became too pleasurable to withstand any longer. He'd followed shortly after, biting down into the shoulder of the former angel beneath him with a strangled moan of her name.
Before she knew it, she was curled up against Dean in her bed, legs intertwined and her head on Dean's chest, his hands running through her hair.
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
She nodded, "It- it was interesting, but- I- is that why humans love each other? This act?" She asked, turning to look at him with wide eyes, irises a deep blue, pupils dilated as they took in the form of the man she'd pulled from hell.
He could only smile.